Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 8

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 8


Okay here it is again. It is that time again, and look what we have here. No Sunday night game, which means no John Madden, is that a sign of things to come? We can only hope. Let’s see who was off this week? Huh well crap where is that paper? Oh here it is. Let’s see the Viqueens aren’t getting crowned. No one visiting Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, no Bronco Fury and Da Bears were also on Da Bye this week. So with that said, let’s get it started!!! Hey Expo, Pump up the Jam!

Here we are at the bottom, and this week the Bottom is in Texas. Knowing the old saying, “Once is a fluke, twice is lucky and three times is a trend we finally have a trend. As much as it pains us to say, Matt Schuab has played well in leading the Houston Texans to 3 straight wins. Let’s just look at the three wins: Miami, it might look better later in the year, Detroit, and Cincinnati, okay they had 2 wins between them not exactly playoffs teams but wins none the less. After the game Marvin Lewis was asked how his team would fair against the Jaguars, next weeks’ opponent. His Answer: “Hell we might lose on our bye week.” So like shooting fish a barrel we find this week’s Birth Canal Team of the week, The Cincinnati Bungels.
Final Score the Bungels 7 the Texans 35. The Texans win, Rah Rah Yuck…

Well let’s talk about the Buccan Game next. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers came to Dallas knowing that the Cowgirls were short handed, and down players due to injury. So they came up with such a stinker of a game that it was hard to tell if they were trying to win. In a game that can best be described as inept this game came down to just one play. Ronde Barber getting called for a horse collar tackle accounted for the longest Cowgirl play from Scrimmage. Not the most productive but the longest. Roy Williams gets his first touchdown pass as a Cowgirl. After the game was over Jeff Garcia told John Gruden just get me the Buccan ball back and I will win this game for you coach. To which Gruden replied Just take a shower and get on the bus.
Final Score the Buccaneers 9 the Cowgirls 13. A win is a win. But this is about as ugly as it gets.

Up next we head to Baltimore as the Raiders came calling. The Oakland Raiders were just hoping to win one quarter when they came to town. Well they won the 3rd quarter 10 to 3 and tied in the second half 10 to10. But they lost the first half 19 to nothing. 10 first downs and 47 yards rushing is just hideous. Well this goes to show that you can’t travel across country and win. But you could travel across country and try.
Final Score the Raiders 10 the Ravens 29. It didn’t look like the Raiders tried very hard.

Well let’s stroll down to Carolina and find the Arizona Cardinals coming across the country. Here are a couple things that happened in this game that everyone should be aware of; both teams scored no points in a quarter, both teams only scored 3 points in the quarter that the other didn’t score. The Cardinals had 50 yards rushing on the day, 30 on an end around. Neither kicker missed a kick and Matt Leinart didn’t play. Oh yea one more thing, you can’t travel across country and win.
Final Score the Cardinals 23 the Panthers 27. It’s the Ari-Freaking-zona Cardinals.

Welcome to this weeks Crappy game on CBS. As we head to Miami and find that the Buffalo Bills came to town looking to keep their division lead intact. This game had everything including a safety, a fumble, an interception, a sack, an incompletion, a rushing touchdown, a field goal made, a field goal miss, a passing touchdown, one team winning and one team losing. See everything just like we told you. Just about the only thing it didn’t have was a Buffalo win. Thanks for nothing Buffalo, looks like your band wagon has been pushed over.
Final score the Bills 16 the Dolphins 23. Another road team bites the dust.

Imagine if you will, you are from another country and all you hear about is this game called American Football. You decided to buy a ticket, take a seat, drink a pint and catch this American football. Hey they touch the ball with their hands, why do they call it football? You ask the guy sitting next to you as you drink another pint. Then after the first quarter you notice that if the goal post was lower then the goalkeeper might have had a chance to stop it before it got through. But it’s far too high to stop you mention to the gentleman that just sold you another pint. Still confused as you finish in the men’s room during the intermission, you question others in line while getting another pint about the game clock that runs down not up, but no one knows. Then as the game is winding down and you are on your 8th pint of the game, you realize that it is you that is on the field streaking with no clothes on. What a day in England you must have had?
Finals Score the Chargers 32 the S-Aints 37. God Save the Queen. Not the Viqueens.

While often imitated but never duplicated it is time to talk about the crappy game on Fox, the Redskins went into Detroit with one thing on their mind, getting out of Michigan as quickly as possible. The Deadskins found themselves behind midway through the 3rd quarter but then turned up the heat and the Lions melted like the witch in the Wizard of Oz when she had a bucket of water thrown on her. Lt. Dan Orlovsky wasn’t terrible which is another way of saying, he didn’t suck too bad. As the Redskins left the field the players noticed the Michigan flag hanging in the stadium. Consisting of a dark blue background over which is a lighter blue shield and the motto, "Cold like Wisconsin, but more recognizably hand-shaped".
Final score The Redskins 25 the Lions 17. Hail to the Redskins.

And now we stroll up the Foxboro as the St Louis Ewes went up to New England. Sometimes there are games that just sneak by without even a hello. This game had nothing any one would want to watch. It was kind of like that old TV show. Hey Expo do you remember that old TV show Baretta? Yes the one with the bird and the cool song “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” Remember? Well that show had nothing to do with this game we were just wondering if you remembered that show. That bird named Fred and Robert Blake. Hey did you know that Robert Blake was on the Little Rascals? Yes he was, that was an okay show with Spanky and Alfalfa. Huh oh yea the game.
Finals Score the Ewes 16 the Pats 23. Really come on

Up next we will wonder into the Meadowlands to find this week’s Crappy game on CBS. And find out what the great New York Bretts did in their game against the Kansas City Chiefs. The Chiefs came to town with all the expectations of winning the game and it looked good for 59 minutes. But as everyone knows this game is 60 minutes long and finally Brett was able to get past all of his mistakes to throw a touchdown. Just how bad was Favre? Let’s take a look, 28 out of 40 for 290 yards with 2 touchdowns not bad, but 3 interceptions is. In his last 3 games the great Brett Favre has 3 touchdown passes and 7 interceptions. But those 3 teams have a total of 3 wins.
Final Score the Chiefs 24 the Bretts 28. Thanks for absolutely nothing, again…

Up next we are going to see which bird is better, an Eagle or a Falcon. The Flacons took their powerful offense into Philly for a date with the Eagles. After the first half with the Falcon down, Rookie Matt Ryan went to work. But all he could muster was one touchdown and sadly one touchdown was not enough to put the Falldowns on top again. So an Eagle can beat a Falcon, but who didn’t think that?
Final Score the Falldowns 14 the Eagles 27. And another road team goes down.

Now we will head over to Jacksonville and find the Cleveland Browns. In a game that might just decide who will get the 10th pick in next years draft we find the Browns and Jaguars fighting it out. Although what might describe this fight is grade school kids meeting out by the jungle gym after school. You know neither one of them wants to throw a punch but both talk a lot about how tough they are. So with nothing on the line but pride neither team showed any.
Final Score the Browns 23 the Jaguars 17. They should give tickets to another game for free.

Up next we find the WCNYFG going into Pittsburg to verse the Steelers. After 3 quarters the Steelers were ahead 14 to 9, and that is when Ellie Manning went to work. Going 8 for 18 for 95 yards and a touchdown how could the WCNYFG lose? Hey Mike Tomlin if you have a back up plan for Quarterback, and running back, and every other position on the field why don’t you have a backup plan for deep snapper? We bet you do next week as James Harrison, after practicing a couple of time on the sidelines, snapped the ball out of the end zone giving the WCNYFG a safety. Now alone that is only 2 points, but then you had to punt the ball and gave it back to the WCNYFG the ball at their 47 only 53 yards away from the win.
Final score the WCNYFG 21 the Steelers 14. 4 field goals, 1 touchdown and Safety?

And lastly on Sunday we find the Shehawks making the trip down to San Francisco. Boy is this going to be good. Okay so Mike Singletary Former Middle Linebacker for the Da Bears took over for Mike Nolan has head coach for the 49ers. Let’s take a look at some of his decisions He Benched the drunken Irish man J.T. O’Sullivan after his 3rd turnover. He apologized for poor play to all 49er fans, if there are any left. Then he sent a player to the locker room (Vernon Davis) and told him to go ahead and take a shower and get dressed. Singletary said “I told him that he (Vernon Davis) would do a better job for us right now taking a shower and coming back and watching the game than going out on the field. Wow keeping players accountable for their play. Interesting but not productive at the moment.
Final Score the Shehawks 34 the 49ers 13. Good luck with all that.

And on Monday night we had the Indianapolis Colts heading to Nashville to face the Titans. Does anyone remember the Titans? Well the Colts do as they are now 4 games behind them in the standings. With the Titans Winning 7 games in a row Vince Young must be doing something great. Let’s take a look at his stats. Huh he threw as many passes as Matt Leinart, and rushed for as many yards as REGGIE Bush which is to say that Vince played as much has both of them together. Well this was a perfect ending to a perfect week.
Final Score the Colts 21 the Titans 31 Boring, Boring, Boring.


Well we hope that next week is a little more exciting than this week. We hope that you enjoy this as much as we did putting it together. Since it is Halloween we have the top three Costumes not to use at the Party this week.

#3 don’t wear a white T-shirt with Yes on the Front and a No on the Back. “A Contradiction”

#2 Don’t wear a monkey suit with no right arm. “A Leftist Gorilla”

#1 Don’t wear your normal clothes and introduce yourself as. “Child Molester”

And remember like we always say….


I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
He did the mash

He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes

They did the mash
They did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They did the mash
It caught on in a flash
They did the mash
They did the monster mash

The zombies were having fun
The party had just begun
The guests included Wolf Man
Dracula and his son
The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The Coffin-Bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, "The Crypt-Kicker Five"

They played the mash
They played the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
They played the mash
It caught on in a flash
They played the mash
They played the monster mash

Out from his coffin, Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist
And said, "Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?"

It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash
The monster mash
And it's a graveyard smash
It's now the mash
It's caught on in a flash
It's now the mash
It's now the monster mash

Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my monster mash is the hit of the land
For you, the living, this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you

Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash
The monster mash
And do my graveyard smash
Then you can mash
You'll catch on in a flash
Then you can mash
Then you can monster mash