Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 9 2008
Well we have finally reached the half way, but for some, like our youth, the halfway has pasted us by, well we have an awful big week to get to so let’s get this thing started. Expo are you ready? What? Oh yea… we forgot to tell you who was off this week. Okay so New Orleans, San Diego, San Francisco, and Carolina are all off. Alright, now you know, so are we ready? Okay you start the Music.
Up First let’s go to Oakland and take a look at what they did this weekend against the Falldowns of Atlanta. 3 first downs and 77 total yards of offense and 7 punts. Wow, we know one thing, when you have as many first downs as you do punts it is not going to be a good day. This Game reminds us of the movie Gone with the Wind except the South won. And the Raiders are not from the North but other than those mild subtleties not much else. Atlanta came, played a half, and left. Then neither team did anything in the 2nd half except watch the other just wonder aimlessly on and off the field with no real purpose, Kind of like people do in the those civil war reenactments. After the game Al Davis was asked if the changes he had made recently were helping or hindering his team. His response “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” Well thanks for being This Weeks Birth Canal Team, Oakland.
Final Score Atlanta 24 the Raiders 0. Zip zilch Noda. Nothing. Can we be any more plain?
Up Next we travel to the New Jersey Meadowlands home of all things WCNYFG. Well the Cowgirls came to New Jersey hoping to get out of there alive; they did, but only barely. In this Huge NFC East Battle the Cowgirls came with a game plan to see if they could play with the spare Brad Johnson at Quarterback and they couldn’t. Ellie did his best to keep the Cowgirls in the game by completing only16 passes for 147 yards, but 3 were for touchdowns so we guess that is good. So the WCNYFG stay in first place in the NFC East and the Cowgirls sink to last. Hey Tony Romo can you get Jessica to put a little “Magic Juice” on that broken pinkie of yours and see about getting back in the game?
Final Score the Cowgirls 14 the WCNYFG 35. What a disgrace…
Now we will talk about the “Crappy game on CBS” so welcome to Buffalo. Home of the Bills, and the fall. Speaking of falls does any one else think that the Buffalo Bills have gotten a barrel and are heading towards the bottom of Niagara Falls? As the Bills get in their barrel ready for the ride they must be thinking that they are the Reincarnation of Sam Patch “The Yankee Leapster” Brett Farve showed why he is still great for the game of Football by completing 19 passes for 200 yards with no touchdowns unless you count the interception he threw for a touchdown. Buffalo has both feet in the barrel and is ready to push away from the bank can anyone stop them now?
Final score The Bretts 26 the Bills 17. The Yankee Leapster? Look it up.
Next we will stay at the bottom and move to Cincinnati. The Bungels have been treated like a two dollar call girl for most of the season so far, but this week they stood up like the “Coward of the county” Well, Becky would be proud of her team this week as they scored and 3 times, hey that is the same number of Gatlin boys. And you could have heard a pin drop when Jacksonville picked up a fumbled kickoff and returned it for a touchdown, but the Bungels held on for the win. Marvin Lewis was heard after the game saying “Well we just geared up for our game last next week. We didn’t want that Bye week to sneak up on us.”
Final Score the Jags 19 the Bungels 21. Thanks for those words of wisdom…
Well let’s move the deck chairs on the Titanic as we talk about the Cleveland Browns game. Romeo, Romeo, Who art thou Quarterback Romeo? Huh Well we aren’t William Shakespeare, but it will have to do. Okay Let us see if we can catch you up on a few things. The Browns traded away their first round pick in the draft in the 2008 draft (Felix the Cat Jones) for Brady Quinn from Notre Dame, then sat him on the bench for more than year while Derek Anderson played, got them to 10 wins and nearly in the playoffs. Anderson then signed a new contract that locks him up for 3 years. Now fast forward to Sunday, with dropped passes and no running the Head Coach for the Cleveland Browns has chosen to Start Brady Quinn over Derek Anderson Trying to improve on the 3 and 5 record this season. All we can say to that is “Stupid is as stupid does”
Final Score the Ravens 37 the Browns 27. And you lead 27 to 20 in the fourth Quarter?
Well let’s go now to the Land of 10,000 lakes. How big does a body of water have to be to be a lake? In Minnesota, fans of the Viqueens look for two things in November. 1 their Moose hunting license 2, the Viqueens to wrinkle like a shirt made of 100% cotton. Well the next coming of Reggie Bush (Adrian Peterson) put on a show. With 25 rushes for 139 yards, a closer look shows us the he had a long of 40 yards making his true stats 24 for 99, still a fine effort. During the fourth quarter Gus “the Mule” Frerotte asked Head coach Brian Childress “Are you going to Scarborough Faire?” to which Brad said “ What the Hell are you talking about?” “Well the Sage Guy is in for the Texans so I thought…” Childress exclaimed “Shut up and go out there and throw the ball to Visanthe Shiancoe they will never be looking for that” And they weren’t.
Final Score the Texans 21 the Viqueens 28. How long is Moose Season?
Okay now let’s talk about Da Game. Da Bears had a major tussle on their hands with the Detroit Lions… Huh Expo? A Major Tussle? You know what a major tussle is right? To struggle roughly. And that is what you want to go with? A Major Tussle, It’s the Detroit Lions for gods Sake, Come on… They couldn’t Majorly Tussle their way out of an open paper sack. Good Lord Da Bears gave them 23 points in the second quarter and a halftime lead of 10. Then just when it looked like all hope was gone; with Kyle Orton out and Rex Grossman playing quarterback Da Bears mounted a comeback… What? Don’t tell you… Tell them? Oh sorry about that. Interesting fact about the Detroit Lions when they score more than their opponents they win.
Final Score The Lions 23 Da Bears 27. They haven’t scored more than any opponent yet.
Time to talk about the Buccan game now, with the time running out in the fourth quarter and the Chiefs up by 8 points Head Coach Herm Edwards made a drastic suggestion. “Let’s really fake them out by taking all of our offensive players off the field and see if they can score on that.” Well for the last 12 minutes of the game the Chiefs ran only 5 plays for huh 2 yards, not exactly an offensive juggernaut if you ask us. Jeff Garcia showed us why he is the Buccan Quarterback completing 31 of 48 passes for 339 yards. “See I told you I would win the game for you in get me the ball back” Garcia told head coach Jon Gruden. And Gruden said” Hell what happened last week?”
Final Score the Bucs 30 the Chiefs 27. Do we have to say? These are the Chiefs…
Well now well talk about the Crappy game on Fox. Who is putting these games on Television? Okay we hope we can keep our lunch down but here we go. The Arizona Cardinals traveled home of sorts to St Louis, their home for 50 or so years to play against the St Louis Rams who used to be in Los Angeles, Yes Los Angeles used to have a NFL team but the Rams quit playing there in 1988 and finally moved to St Louis in 1995. When asked about his teams chances of making the playoffs Cardinal Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt said” Well hell someone has to win our division and it looks like we could do that with a losing record.” and that looks like it could happen. For the first time since 1984 the Cardinals have a winning record after 8 games.
Final Score the Cards 34 the Ewes 13. These are the Cardinals, so watch out.
Up next we find that mister Rogers took his neighbor hood on the road for a fantastic game against the Tennessee Titans. The Green Bay Packers fought the good fight and found that they can play with most teams in the NFL. But you can’t win kicking field goals in this league and Aaron Rogers found that out. When the old toy Super Jock was introduced back in the 70’s, we think that Rod Bironas must have played with it. Do you remember it? Remember when you set up the plastic field and the goal post then set up the ball then hit the figure on top of the head as hard as you could to make him kick the ball through the up rights? Remember? Well Bironas must remember because he keeps kicking the ball like Super Jock.
Final Score the Packers 16 the Titans 19. This game went to over time as well.
Okay well here is the game from Denver. The Dolphins came to Denver looking to get to 500. Someplace they had not been in a while. But when they arrived they found a mannequin hanging in tree with a Dolphin uniform on. What? What? What Number? Oh it was Dolphins number 10. Yes number 10. Yea we know who that is; can we finish up the game? Big Tuna Cakes had the driver stop the bus and he got off. He pulled down the Mannequin and got back on the bus. Tell all the players “There will be no Hanging Chad’s in Colorado this year.”
Final Score the Dolphins 26 the Bronco’s 17. Yes Chad Pennington is #10…
Up next we head to the great Northwest home of the Space needle and all things northwest. We have said for a long time that teams can’t travel across country and win unless you are playing in Seattle. Well the Shehawks are certainly giving head coach Mike Holmgren a nice wedgie before he leaves the team. At the end of the year Coach Holmgren will leave thank God it is only 8 more weeks. Here again is the most telling stat. 10 first downs to 11 punts. Great right? No!!!
Final Score the Eagles 26 the Shehawks 7. Can the Eagles play a bird named team every week?
And Finally on Sunday we find the Sunday night game. This game took place between two teams the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots. This game should have been much better than it was. But in the fourth quarter when Adam Vinatieri kicked the game winning field goal we understand that his kicking coach was not Heather Mills.
Final Score the Pats 15 the Colts 18. Gosh that just sucked didn’t it?
And the last game of the week we had the Presidential game before the game. Tuesday Night was the real game, but on Monday The Redskins invited the Steelers over for a little game of what we like to call Football. After the Steelers Ben Roethlisberger went down we found that a Back up could play. Huh Imagine that a backup quarterback that can play? Well Byron Leftwich showed us that he can still play well. 7 for 10 for 129 yards, nice.
Final Score The Steelers 23 the Redskins 3. Hail to the Deadskins…
Well that is it for this week. We have to apologize for the lateness. It has been a long week for us. We enjoyed putting together and hope that you enjoy it as well.
We also want to send out some condolences to our extend family. We will miss Hogan and feel are saddened by his passing. Know that we are thinking of you in this time.
And remember like we always say…
Like a fool I went and stayed too long
Well we have finally reached the half way, but for some, like our youth, the halfway has pasted us by, well we have an awful big week to get to so let’s get this thing started. Expo are you ready? What? Oh yea… we forgot to tell you who was off this week. Okay so New Orleans, San Diego, San Francisco, and Carolina are all off. Alright, now you know, so are we ready? Okay you start the Music.
Up First let’s go to Oakland and take a look at what they did this weekend against the Falldowns of Atlanta. 3 first downs and 77 total yards of offense and 7 punts. Wow, we know one thing, when you have as many first downs as you do punts it is not going to be a good day. This Game reminds us of the movie Gone with the Wind except the South won. And the Raiders are not from the North but other than those mild subtleties not much else. Atlanta came, played a half, and left. Then neither team did anything in the 2nd half except watch the other just wonder aimlessly on and off the field with no real purpose, Kind of like people do in the those civil war reenactments. After the game Al Davis was asked if the changes he had made recently were helping or hindering his team. His response “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” Well thanks for being This Weeks Birth Canal Team, Oakland.
Final Score Atlanta 24 the Raiders 0. Zip zilch Noda. Nothing. Can we be any more plain?
Up Next we travel to the New Jersey Meadowlands home of all things WCNYFG. Well the Cowgirls came to New Jersey hoping to get out of there alive; they did, but only barely. In this Huge NFC East Battle the Cowgirls came with a game plan to see if they could play with the spare Brad Johnson at Quarterback and they couldn’t. Ellie did his best to keep the Cowgirls in the game by completing only16 passes for 147 yards, but 3 were for touchdowns so we guess that is good. So the WCNYFG stay in first place in the NFC East and the Cowgirls sink to last. Hey Tony Romo can you get Jessica to put a little “Magic Juice” on that broken pinkie of yours and see about getting back in the game?
Final Score the Cowgirls 14 the WCNYFG 35. What a disgrace…
Now we will talk about the “Crappy game on CBS” so welcome to Buffalo. Home of the Bills, and the fall. Speaking of falls does any one else think that the Buffalo Bills have gotten a barrel and are heading towards the bottom of Niagara Falls? As the Bills get in their barrel ready for the ride they must be thinking that they are the Reincarnation of Sam Patch “The Yankee Leapster” Brett Farve showed why he is still great for the game of Football by completing 19 passes for 200 yards with no touchdowns unless you count the interception he threw for a touchdown. Buffalo has both feet in the barrel and is ready to push away from the bank can anyone stop them now?
Final score The Bretts 26 the Bills 17. The Yankee Leapster? Look it up.
Next we will stay at the bottom and move to Cincinnati. The Bungels have been treated like a two dollar call girl for most of the season so far, but this week they stood up like the “Coward of the county” Well, Becky would be proud of her team this week as they scored and 3 times, hey that is the same number of Gatlin boys. And you could have heard a pin drop when Jacksonville picked up a fumbled kickoff and returned it for a touchdown, but the Bungels held on for the win. Marvin Lewis was heard after the game saying “Well we just geared up for our game last next week. We didn’t want that Bye week to sneak up on us.”
Final Score the Jags 19 the Bungels 21. Thanks for those words of wisdom…
Well let’s move the deck chairs on the Titanic as we talk about the Cleveland Browns game. Romeo, Romeo, Who art thou Quarterback Romeo? Huh Well we aren’t William Shakespeare, but it will have to do. Okay Let us see if we can catch you up on a few things. The Browns traded away their first round pick in the draft in the 2008 draft (Felix the Cat Jones) for Brady Quinn from Notre Dame, then sat him on the bench for more than year while Derek Anderson played, got them to 10 wins and nearly in the playoffs. Anderson then signed a new contract that locks him up for 3 years. Now fast forward to Sunday, with dropped passes and no running the Head Coach for the Cleveland Browns has chosen to Start Brady Quinn over Derek Anderson Trying to improve on the 3 and 5 record this season. All we can say to that is “Stupid is as stupid does”
Final Score the Ravens 37 the Browns 27. And you lead 27 to 20 in the fourth Quarter?
Well let’s go now to the Land of 10,000 lakes. How big does a body of water have to be to be a lake? In Minnesota, fans of the Viqueens look for two things in November. 1 their Moose hunting license 2, the Viqueens to wrinkle like a shirt made of 100% cotton. Well the next coming of Reggie Bush (Adrian Peterson) put on a show. With 25 rushes for 139 yards, a closer look shows us the he had a long of 40 yards making his true stats 24 for 99, still a fine effort. During the fourth quarter Gus “the Mule” Frerotte asked Head coach Brian Childress “Are you going to Scarborough Faire?” to which Brad said “ What the Hell are you talking about?” “Well the Sage Guy is in for the Texans so I thought…” Childress exclaimed “Shut up and go out there and throw the ball to Visanthe Shiancoe they will never be looking for that” And they weren’t.
Final Score the Texans 21 the Viqueens 28. How long is Moose Season?
Okay now let’s talk about Da Game. Da Bears had a major tussle on their hands with the Detroit Lions… Huh Expo? A Major Tussle? You know what a major tussle is right? To struggle roughly. And that is what you want to go with? A Major Tussle, It’s the Detroit Lions for gods Sake, Come on… They couldn’t Majorly Tussle their way out of an open paper sack. Good Lord Da Bears gave them 23 points in the second quarter and a halftime lead of 10. Then just when it looked like all hope was gone; with Kyle Orton out and Rex Grossman playing quarterback Da Bears mounted a comeback… What? Don’t tell you… Tell them? Oh sorry about that. Interesting fact about the Detroit Lions when they score more than their opponents they win.
Final Score The Lions 23 Da Bears 27. They haven’t scored more than any opponent yet.
Time to talk about the Buccan game now, with the time running out in the fourth quarter and the Chiefs up by 8 points Head Coach Herm Edwards made a drastic suggestion. “Let’s really fake them out by taking all of our offensive players off the field and see if they can score on that.” Well for the last 12 minutes of the game the Chiefs ran only 5 plays for huh 2 yards, not exactly an offensive juggernaut if you ask us. Jeff Garcia showed us why he is the Buccan Quarterback completing 31 of 48 passes for 339 yards. “See I told you I would win the game for you in get me the ball back” Garcia told head coach Jon Gruden. And Gruden said” Hell what happened last week?”
Final Score the Bucs 30 the Chiefs 27. Do we have to say? These are the Chiefs…
Well now well talk about the Crappy game on Fox. Who is putting these games on Television? Okay we hope we can keep our lunch down but here we go. The Arizona Cardinals traveled home of sorts to St Louis, their home for 50 or so years to play against the St Louis Rams who used to be in Los Angeles, Yes Los Angeles used to have a NFL team but the Rams quit playing there in 1988 and finally moved to St Louis in 1995. When asked about his teams chances of making the playoffs Cardinal Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt said” Well hell someone has to win our division and it looks like we could do that with a losing record.” and that looks like it could happen. For the first time since 1984 the Cardinals have a winning record after 8 games.
Final Score the Cards 34 the Ewes 13. These are the Cardinals, so watch out.
Up next we find that mister Rogers took his neighbor hood on the road for a fantastic game against the Tennessee Titans. The Green Bay Packers fought the good fight and found that they can play with most teams in the NFL. But you can’t win kicking field goals in this league and Aaron Rogers found that out. When the old toy Super Jock was introduced back in the 70’s, we think that Rod Bironas must have played with it. Do you remember it? Remember when you set up the plastic field and the goal post then set up the ball then hit the figure on top of the head as hard as you could to make him kick the ball through the up rights? Remember? Well Bironas must remember because he keeps kicking the ball like Super Jock.
Final Score the Packers 16 the Titans 19. This game went to over time as well.
Okay well here is the game from Denver. The Dolphins came to Denver looking to get to 500. Someplace they had not been in a while. But when they arrived they found a mannequin hanging in tree with a Dolphin uniform on. What? What? What Number? Oh it was Dolphins number 10. Yes number 10. Yea we know who that is; can we finish up the game? Big Tuna Cakes had the driver stop the bus and he got off. He pulled down the Mannequin and got back on the bus. Tell all the players “There will be no Hanging Chad’s in Colorado this year.”
Final Score the Dolphins 26 the Bronco’s 17. Yes Chad Pennington is #10…
Up next we head to the great Northwest home of the Space needle and all things northwest. We have said for a long time that teams can’t travel across country and win unless you are playing in Seattle. Well the Shehawks are certainly giving head coach Mike Holmgren a nice wedgie before he leaves the team. At the end of the year Coach Holmgren will leave thank God it is only 8 more weeks. Here again is the most telling stat. 10 first downs to 11 punts. Great right? No!!!
Final Score the Eagles 26 the Shehawks 7. Can the Eagles play a bird named team every week?
And Finally on Sunday we find the Sunday night game. This game took place between two teams the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots. This game should have been much better than it was. But in the fourth quarter when Adam Vinatieri kicked the game winning field goal we understand that his kicking coach was not Heather Mills.
Final Score the Pats 15 the Colts 18. Gosh that just sucked didn’t it?
And the last game of the week we had the Presidential game before the game. Tuesday Night was the real game, but on Monday The Redskins invited the Steelers over for a little game of what we like to call Football. After the Steelers Ben Roethlisberger went down we found that a Back up could play. Huh Imagine that a backup quarterback that can play? Well Byron Leftwich showed us that he can still play well. 7 for 10 for 129 yards, nice.
Final Score The Steelers 23 the Redskins 3. Hail to the Deadskins…
Well that is it for this week. We have to apologize for the lateness. It has been a long week for us. We enjoyed putting together and hope that you enjoy it as well.
We also want to send out some condolences to our extend family. We will miss Hogan and feel are saddened by his passing. Know that we are thinking of you in this time.
And remember like we always say…
Like a fool I went and stayed too long
Now Im wondering if your loves still strong
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Then that time I went and said goodbye
Now Im back and not ashamed to cry
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Here I am baby
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby,
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed, delivered, Im yours)
Ive done alot of foolish things
That I really didnt mean
Hey, hey, yea, yea, didnt i, oh baby
Seen alot of things in this old world
When I touched them they did nothing, girl
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours, oh Im yours
Oo-wee babe you set my soul on fire
Thats why I know you are my only desire
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Here I am baby
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby,Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed, delivered, Im yours)
Ive done alot of foolish things
That I really didnt mean
I could be a broken man but here I amWith your future,
got your future babe (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby, (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby, (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
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