Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 5

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 5 2008

Well Week 5 is in the books and do you know what? Yes that is right Expo we have had 5 weeks played in the NFL. Oh my, is that what we pay you for? Thought provoking comments like that? Alright lets talk about who is off this week. Cleveland, and St Louis, but they haven’t been on this year, the New York Bretts, and the Oakland Raiders. These 4 teams have a total of 3 wins; I guess they all needed a bye. Expo let’s get started, Kick it!!!

We had difficulty finding the bottom, because there are so many choices. So when given the chance we will always find the bottom in New Jersey, and why wouldn’t we? Along time ago we told you that no team travels across the country and wins, this holds true this weekend for the most part. We have a little geography lesson, where is Seattle? That’s right in Washington State, and where is New Jersey? That’s right on the other side of the country. So if Seattle is going to play in New Jersey, then they will probably lose. And lose is what they did. Good thing the Seattle kicker Orlando Mare showed up or they would not have scored. The WCNYFG clawed and scratched their way thru the Shehawks defense, like an elephants thru a bag of peanuts. So as the Shehawks were getting back on the airplane to head home someone screamed “Hey Mike Holmgren did you leave your balls on the field?” To which he turned around and pulled down his pants and showed us all his Birth canal. Making Seattle this weeks Birth Canal team of the week.
Final Score the Shehawks 6 the WCNYFG 44. Wow 6 points? Really?

Next we will stroll south to Carolina and find this week’s crappy game on CBS. Maybe if Kansas City would have actually showed up for the game, it might have been better. But they have not shown up for a game in the last year. This is just sad, the Chiefs have won one game since Oct 21, 2007. Yes, that is almost a year. Thanks Herm Edwards. Your brand of football is terrible. And we just don’t understand how you get to keep your job. We guess you will not lose next week as your team has a bye.
Final Score Chiefs 0 and the Panthers 34. Crappy just doesn’t describe how bad it was.

Next we find ourselves talking about the crappy game on Fox, and heading up to Detroit, everyone stay together. We certainly do not want to lose anyone here. So after 8 years the Lions decided the best way to be a better was to fire Matt Millen. So with that weighing on the minds of the players they went out and laid another egg in a loss to Da Bears Who knew that Lions laid eggs? Well they do and like moving the deck chairs on the Titanic the Lions changed their General Manager, and now their Quarterback. Jon Kitna is on the bench, probably where is belongs.
Final Score Da Bears 34 the Lions 7. Lions laying eggs? That’s funny. I don’t care who you are.

Now we will finally get to a football game as the undefeated Titans came to Baltimore to keep their streak alive. And with 6 minutes left the Titans find themselves down by 4 points. Kerry Collins showed why he is a backup as he led his team to 14 first downs and a total of 210 yards. But he did engineer a game winning drive of 80 yards, to score a touchdown with 2 minutes left. That gave Joe Flacco his shot at the 2 minute drill. That didn’t turn out very well as he threw an interception on the second play. Well better luck next time Baltimore.
Final score Titans 13 Ravens 10. Quote the Raven nevermore.

Next we will head into Green Bay AKA Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. The Packers found a new neighbor in the Falldowns of Atlanta. They were very nice to Michael Turner as he had 26 carries for 121 yards. Rogers had a nice game going 25 for 37 for 313 yards. But with no Brett Favre the Packers go down like Mr. McFeely on a drunken bender.
Final score Falldowns 27 the Packers 24. The Packer name is still funny after all this time.

Up next we find the Colts heading to the Hurricane ravaged city of Houston. Matt Schuab came up with a virus just before the game was about to start thus pushing back up Sage Rosenfels into the starting line up. Now as we have said for a while this game called football is 60 minutes long. And with 4 minutes left the winless Texans had a 27 to 17 lead over the Colts. But then the magic of Peyton Manning took over. Sage Rosenfels ran out of thyme has he fumbled twice and threw an interception in the final 4 minutes giving up 14 points, and losing the game. Wow what do you do with quarterbacks like that?
Finals Score the Colts 31 the Texans 27. 60 minutes people, the game is 60 minutes long.

Next we find time on the schedule to talk about Miami. The Chargers came to South Beach looking for love in all the wrong places. This was the sleeper game of the week as one could have taken a nap and not missed much, Norv Turner should have spent more time watching the film of the Dolphins game against New England last week. If so he might have been better prepared for this crazy “Wildcat formation” where Ronnie Brown is the quarterback. That is not a bad idea since your starter is Chad Pennington. Miami ran out to 17 points then took the rest of the day off. And the Chargers could only muster a touchdown in the second half.
Final score Chargers 10 the Dolphins 17. Hey the Dolphins you doubled last years win total at 2.

Next we head back up the coast to Philadelphia to find a tough NFC East Battle between the Redskins and the Eagles. Early in our nation’s history we bought this great land of ours from the Redskins, We made certain symbols to show our strength and courage as a nation, the Eagle being one of the greatest. But Ben Franklin wanted the Country’s symbol to be the Regal Turkey, which is exactly how the Eagles have been playing. So the Eagles invited the Redskins over for an early Thanksgiving Day feast. They served some cranberry sauce, you know out of the can, some mashed potatoes, Candied Yams, only this time the Bird the Redskins feasted on was Eagle.
Final score the Redskins 23 the Eagles 17. Well the Bird is the word if you know what I mean.

Now we will go to Colorado home of the Bronco’s and all things Denver. We are sure that everyone remembers that Denver was home to this year’s Democratic National Convention? It was widely considered the Greenest convention in the history of conventions. The Buccaneers came up to Denver and took in the sites and played a game. But this week even the magic of Jeff Garcia couldn’t survive the Bronco Fury… Bronco’s Fury? Hey Expo are we talking about that Television show Fury? Yea you know “Fury, about a horse and the Boy who loves him”? No? Then what Bronco Fury are we talking about? There was no Fury in Denver this week.
Final score the Tampa Bay 13 the Bronco’s 16. There is nothing Furious about 16 points.

Okay so let’s go to Ari-Freaking-Zona. The Cardinals hosted the undefeated Buffalo Bills who were looking forward to next week, their bye week. They traveled to the Valley of the Sun and found that the temperature was still in the 90’s so they thought that it was still July in Buffalo. And knowing that they don’t play in July they didn’t. Quarterback Trent Edwards lasted 3 plays. He played 3 plays before telling his coach that he couldn’t go any more. So in comes J.P Losman, who just looked “Lost in Arizona.” Kurt Warner didn’t look Lost as he we 33 for 42 for 250 yards. not bad for guy who is just keeping the seat warm until Matt Leinart gets ready to take his starting job back.
Final score was Bills 17 the Cardinals 41. Another cross country loss.

Now we will talk about the 49ers and their game against New England. The Patriots we so embarrassed by their play from 2 weeks ago against Miami they kept a low profile heading out to San Francisco. They traveled there in a several Volkswagen Buses to blend in to the hippie life style, Matt Cassel was seen putting on makeup to blend into the huh.. Humm... The Alternative lifestyle in the Bay area… huh Yea, that is a little awkward we think. Pats Coach Bill Belle-cheat said when asked about Cassel said, “Well he is from California so we can only guess that he knew what he was doing.” “Do I approve? Well I guess that it is not much different than putting lipstick on pig.”
Final Score the Pats 38 the 49ers 21. Finally a team that traveled across country and won.

Now for the final game during the day, the Ben-gals came to Dallas looking for their first win of the season. They left without it. Not because the Cowgirls played well. Let’s us just say, that there is a reason that Tony Romo was not drafted. Hey Tony quit throwing the ball to other team, 8 games with an interception, is not good. Winning 4 games out of 5 this season is. But this game was way too close. For God sake it is Cincinnati.
Final Score the Ben-Gals 22 the Cowgirls 31. Ho Humm. But they still won the game.

On Sunday the Pittsburg Steelers played against the Jacksonville Jaguars. In the Rematch of a playoff game from last year, but this game was different. In the playoffs last year the Jags scored right at the end to win, this week they let down and let the Steelers score with just moments left. So you know what Punt, Downs, Touchdown, Punt, Downs is? That is the way the Jaguars second half drives ended. Pittsburg has a way of making the game so boring that they lull the other team to sleep. Then they just win. But gosh it is ugly.
Final Score the Steelers 26 the Jaguars 21. Is it over yet? Thank God.

And finally we find the last game of the week in New Orleans. In this game we find that the NFL has given us a game with the Greatest Running Back in the history of the NFL, and the next Greatest Running Back in the history of the NFL, so let’s take a look at the stats. Reggie had 12 rushes for 29 yards with a long of 10. Making his true stats 11 carries for 19 yards, and he had a lost fumble. He also had 7 catches for 64 yards with a long of 21. That makes 6 catches for 43, and he had another lost fumble. He also had 5 punt returns which he ran back 2 for touchdowns. Not too bad. Adrian Peterson had 21 carries for 32 yards, with a long of 7, and only one catch for nine yards. But what this game came down to is Gus “the Mule” Frerotte, making a couple of plays to win the game, which he did.
Final score the Viqueens 30 the S-Aints 27. In a game that no one wanted to win, but someone had to.

Well there you go, again. This week is done, and we hope you enjoyed it as much as we did putting it together.

And remember like we always say.


See the tree, how big it's grown,
but friend, it hasn't been too long it wasn't big.
I laughed at her and she got mad,
the first day that she planted it was just a twig.

Then the first snow came and she ran
out to brush the snow away so it wouldn't die.
Came runnin' in all excited,s
lipped and almost hurt herself, I laughed 'til I cried.
She was always young at heart,
kind a dumb and kind a smart and I loved her so.
I surprised her with a puppy,
kept me up all Christmas eve two years ago.

And it would sure embarrass her when
I came home from working late 'cause I would know
that she'd been sittin' there cryin
over some sad and silly late, late show.

And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good.
And I'd love to be with you if only I could.

She wrecked the car and she was sad
and so afraid that I'd be mad but what the heck.
Though I pretended hard to be,
guess you could say she saw through me and hugged my neck.

I came home unexpectedly
and found her crying needlessly in middle of the day.
And it was in the early spring
when flowers bloom and Robins sing, she went away.

And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good.
And I'd love to be with you if only I could.

Yes, one day while I wasn't home,
while she was there and all alone, the angels came.
Now all I have is memories
of Honey, and I wake up nights and call her name.
Now my life's an empty stage
where Honey lived and Honey played and love grew up.
A small cloud passes over headand cries down in the flower bed that Honey loved.

And Honey, I miss you and I'm being good.
And I'd love to be with you if only I could.

See the tree, how big it's grown...