Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 16

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 16

 

                Hello and Welcome to Week 16. This holiday week should bring a lot of closure to a lot of teams. The Visions of Playoffs that were dancing in some heads can just turn ugly and Sweet dreams can turn into nightmares. So Expo did you get my list? Great, so I don’t want any socks this year okay. You did notice that my list had NO SOCKS right? Then kick it!!!

 

                Here we go with the last Thursday game of the season. Has this game gotten to you guys like it has us? We know everyone is supposed to have the NFL network, but good God we hope that next year some else gets to announce the games. Having to deal with Jim Nance and Phil Sims is hard enough on a New England or Denver game each week. But listening to them compare Blake Bortles to a young Tom Brady, is getting ridiculous.

Final Score the Titans 13 the Jags 21. This game never should have been on National TV, such as National is the NFL Network.

 

                Oh boy here we go again. Isn’t it bad enough that we have a Thursday game each week, but hey let’s have a special Saturday Edition of Thursday night football. As the Lovely and Talented wife asked us? “Why do they call it a special Saturday Edition of Thursday night Football?” “Not Sure” we replied. To which she said “Well Football can be played Saturday what is so damn special about Philadelphia and Washington?”  So we ask, what is so damn special about Philadelphia and Washington?

Final Score the Beagles 24 the Deadskins 27. Nothing, absolutely nothing is special about either one of these teams.

 

                And now we cringe as we hear that up next The San Diego Super Chargers head up to San Francisco to take on the 49ers in an Extra Special Saturday night edition of Thursday night football.

Final Score the Chargers 38 the 49er 35. Could this be the game that gets Jim Harbaugh fired?

 

                And now to Sunday where we get normal, for a few minutes, so we get to talk about the Greatest Running Back in the History of the NFL REGGIE BUSH!!!! We know he has been injured but he has not let us down with his production. This week was another stellar performance, has he rushed the ball 7 times for 54 yards. And he had a touchdown. He also caught 6 passes for 44 yards. YAHOO. After the game REGGIE had these words for the sideline reporter, “So Reggie you had a great game with 13 touches for almost one hundred yards, what was the secret of your success?” REGGIE replied, “Well Coach Told me that we could have a pickle if we won today and I really like Pickles.” The Reporter responded, “Well some call Jimmy Clausen the Bears Quarterback the Pickle because of his name.” REGGIE thought for moment then said “ No I am pretty sure Coach said we could have all the pickles we wanted after the game, and I like pickles, all kinds of pickles, like dill pickles, fried pickles, pickles spears, and pickle chips, great ole big fat pickles, little bitty sweet pickles, mmm I love me some pickles”

Final score the Detroit 20 the Bear 14. Even later after the game if was found out the Jimmy Clausen had a terrible nightmare about getting eaten by a giant REGGIE BUSH. Doctors concluded that he had a concussion and would be out of the final game of the season.

 

                If we can say anything about this next game it would be that nothing is impossible when the Viqueens and Olphins get together.  Well how about 56 first downs and 850 yards of offense and a blocked punt for a safety to win the game!!!

Final Score the Viqueens 35 the Olphins 37. Really what else is there to say?

 

                There are lots of things that are disappointing, and one of those things is the Taints. Taints are always disappointing. The only thing not disappointing is when you get to kick someone in the Taint. And if you have never seen a Falcon kick someone in the Taint check out the highlights of this game.

Final Score the Falldowns 30 Taints 14. How are the Falldowns still in the playoff hunt??

 

                Do you want to know what the best thing is about the next game?

Final Score the Patriots 17 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL JETS 16. This is over for the toe licker.

 

                Next the Chiefs brought everything they needed to Pittsburg. They brought Alex Smith with is 311 yards passing and they brought their kicker. In the only time we may every mention… huh Damn what is his name Expo?  Cesar? No not like the salad? Ah here it is Cairo Santos? Huh? When did we let the exchange students play in the NFL? Well nevermind he was key to the game.

Final score the Chiefs 12 the Steelers 20. Because without Cairo Santos the Mexican Egyptian the chiefs would not have scored… Yeah Egypt???

 

                This game used to be called the Bay of Pigs game. But Mr. Rogers‘ Discount double check has changed all of that. Aaron Rogers came, saw and (like that guy on the stupid Bud Light commercial), fired the cannons and blew his discount double check all over the Tampa bay fans.

Final score the Packers 20 the Yucks 3. And so we take this week’s trophy to Tampa bay because hey, they are up for anything. And they get the Birth Canal of the week award this week.

 

                Well this will do it for the year, for Johnny Clipboard. He has seen the light, he needs to get his head together and get to studying. He needs to go to school, something he really didn’t do in College. Something that he really didn’t do in high school. He is the typical special privileged kid who never had to suffer any consequences for any of his actions. And now he is learning that the world doesn’t just hand you your career.  But it will hand you a hamstring injury.

Final score the Brownstains 13 the Panther 17. Oh and Cam Newton returned to the field this week after breaking his back in a car accident. Welcome back…

 

                Hello and Welcome to the J J Watts show!!! Thanks for tuning in today, we are going to talk about my 7 solo tackles, and 1 sack, plus we are going to go inside the numbers with a heart wrenching story about the plight of turkeys and the farmers who love them and need them to produce a living. In our Craft segment we are going to see how to make that Christmas table pop, with living napkin holders. Then a little later we are going to head over to the kitchen to see what to do with Holiday desert table. Wait till you see what we have done with rhubarb’s this year. So come on back to the J J Watts Show.

Final score the Raven 13 the Texan 25. What in the world could you do with Rhubarb???

 

                We have all been here before, the head coach says something that upsets you, you try your best and then when your family takes up your cause it seems to make things worse. Maybe that is why the Father of the Elisha has tried to stay out of this child’s business. So at the Press Conference Coach Tom Coughlin was asked what makes his teams passing game so special. “Well I think that we all know what makes our Passing go, and it all starts at the beginning, with our Center J D Walton. Without the Center snap nothing can start. I don’t mean to take you down to the simplest forms of football, but without the center snapping the ball, the play never starts. Then after that, you have to have a lot of blocking to keep the other guys on the other team from tackling your guy who has the ball. Then the ball gets in the air and Odell Beckham Jr catches it, and we start the whole process over again.” The Reporter asked “So your Quarterback? He doesn’t have anything to do with it?” Coach replies, “Well yeah, so long as that dummy doesn’t throw it to the other team, then Odell can catch it.”

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 37 the Ewes 27. Sitting at his locker with no one around, a reporter finally approaches Elisha and asks, “So do you have any thought on how well Odell Beckham Jr. played today?” a lonely tear rolled down his faced, has he told the reporter, “No Comment”

 

                Before we get to the next game, we want to say a few things, okay. Denver, Philadelphia, New England, Pittsburg and now Dallas. Funny how when the Colts score more than the team they are playing they win. And When they don’t they lose.

Final Score the Colts 7 the Cowgirls 44. And the game wasn’t this close. If losses by 37 can be close.

 

                So if you keep winning you are in the playoffs. If you when this week your playoff hopes are alive and well, if you lose, then your playoffs are dashed on the jagged rocks below. Well hello Buffalo and welcome to the jagged rocks below. All you had to do was Travel across the country and beat team Suck.

Final Score the Buffalo 24 the Oakland 26. The Jagged rocks of team suck??? Oh my. Maybe you needed that Lone Buffalo on your helmet this week.

 

   

                In a game that was the battle of the Wild West in the NFC the Cardinals came and did what they do best. They lost. And they lost like only they can big. There are lots of things we could say about this game, like it might have been different if the Cardinals were to had their Starting Quarterback, or the game might have been different if the Cardinals would have had their second string Quarterback, or the Game might have been different if the Cardinals would have had their the 3 string Quarterback. But that is just making excuses.

Final Score the Seattle 35 the Arizona 6. Really 6 points??? Ooohhh thank god for the kicker… Arrg…

 

                Then Finally on Monday night we find the Bronco’s head to Cincinnati. It seems so weird and we will have to put our Cracker Jack Investigative staff on this to get down to the true facts. But when Elisha throws the ball up to Odell Beckham Jr, for a couple of Touchdowns, does Peyton not play well? And if that holds true is there really only one Manning in the NFL?

Final Score the Bronco 28 the Bengal 37. Because well throw an Elisha game out there every now and then. 4 interceptions? Peyton are killing our Fantasy Team. That does it we are writing a letter… Expo find that Email address for Peyton’s Mom, only she can fix this.

 

Well that will do it for us this week.

And remember like we always say…

 

Not normal, not normal, oh, not normal

It's nothin', it's so normal
You just stand there, I could say so much
But I don't go there 'cuz I don't want to

And I was thinkin' if you were lonely
Maybe, we could leave here and no one would know
At least not to the point that we would think so

And everyone here, knows everyone here
Is thinkin' about somebody else
Well, it's best if we all keep this under our heads

And I couldn't tell
If anyone here was feelin' the way I do
But I'm lonely now and I don't know how
To get it back to good

I'm not normal, no, I'm not normal, no, I'm not normal

This don't mean that you own me
Well, this ain't no good, in fact it's funny as hell
Yeah, but things worked out just like you wanted to

If you see me out you don't know me
Try to turn your head, try to give me some room
Oh, figure out just to what I'm gonna do

So everyone here, hates everyone here
For doin' just like they do
And it's best if we all keep this quiet instead

And I couldn't tell, why everyone here
Was doin' me like they do
But I'm sorry now, and I don't know how
To get it back to good

I'm not normal, no, I'm not normal, no, I'm not normal

Well, everyone here is wonderin' what it's like
To be with somebody else
And everyone here's to blame

Yeah, and everyone here gets caught up
In the pleasure of the pain, yeah
Well, everyone here hides shades of shame

Yeah, but lookin' inside we're the same
We're the same, we're all grown now
Yeah, but we don't know how
To get it back to good

I'm not normal, no, I'm not normal, no, I'm not normal

Well, everyone here, knows everyone here
Is thinkin' 'bout somebody else
It's best if we all keep this under our heads
Under our heads, yeah

See, I couldn't tell 'bout if anyone here
Was feelin' the way I do
That's over now, and I don't know how
Guess, it's over now
There's no gettin' back to good

I'm not normal, I'm not normal, no, I'm not normal
Not normal, not normal, not normal