Stroll Down the NFL Boulevard Week 15

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 15

 

                Well Week 15 is upon us, a time when Christmas starts to peek though the blinds. Is old St Nick looking for you? Or is he looking to see if your tree is up and ready to go. Expo, do you have all of your shopping finished? You haven’t? Good I will get you my list so you can pick me up a few things if you see fit. But before I get you the list, Kick it one time!!!

 

                Oh boy here we go. Thursday night and we find the Battle of St Louis. We aren’t really sure if St Louis was really worth fighting over. We mean with the Ferguson stuff, and the hands up don’t shoot stuff. And the oh Boy I hope my son doesn’t grow up to be a thug and tries to take a police officer’s gun and gets killed. And then my mother gets convicted on embezzlement charges for stealing money from the T-shirt fund honoring her dead son, so I could go to Geneva. Will that might be just enough for a kick in the pants, as a matter of fact that is all this game was.

Final Score the Cardinals 12 the Ewes 6. 6 field goals. Funny how when we say Cardinals wins in St Louis everyone thinks you are talking baseball…

 

                Okay so we start on Sunday in Atlanta home of the Falldowns. Playing out the string is something that you do when you get to week 15 and you only have 5 wins, but hold on there Partner, this is the NFC South, and like they say “It’s a crap shoot down in the South” and it certainly is. Hey Expo this is where you play that cool sound bite from the game that we talked about in the meeting….

 

Final Score the Steelers 27 the Falldowns 20. No. Expo, not the one from the Pantomime. Do you hear that silence? Just checking…

 

                So do you know what you get from 13 first downs, 4 field goals, and a Punt return for a touchdown, and safety? Yep that is right you get a free discount double check. So Aaron Rogers showed up in Buffalo with his brief case, and some forms and a claim agent.

Final Score the Packers 13 the Bills 21. After the Game someone overheard Rogers say to his claim agent. “Wow I heard they had some snow up here recently, did you bring those Snow blower policies?

 

                And now we get to the most anticipated debut since Jesus showed up in a manger in Bethlehem. And we don’t mean Bethlehem PA. Johnny Clipboard went out on the field and didn’t find things much better than Bryan Hoyer did in recent weeks. When you complete 10 of 18 passes for 80 yards with 2 interceptions, you are really putting up some Ryan Leaf numbers. And someone should have raked this leaf up… After the Game we presented the Birth Canal Game of the Week trophy to Johnny Clipboard, he was excited to get something for his performance.

Final score the Bengals 30 the Brownstains 0 If Black is the new Orange, does that mean that the Browns still suck?

 

                Welcome to the J J Watts Show. This week we are going to have a great show. Not Many people can talk about what we are going to talk about. 5 solo tackles, one pass defensed, just to name a few things. During Arts and Craft time we are going be making a traditional cornucopia table scape for your Christmas table. We will also show you how to get those Corners nice and tight on your Christmas presents. During our Kitchen segment, I am going to show you how to make my favorite side dish that just kills it when I take it anywhere. That is right my Bacon wrapped Asparagus is coming out today. And in our final segment we will discussing some fun childhood Christmas memories I have. And then there is the present for everyone in the studio Audience. So come on Back to the J J Watts show!!!

Final Score the Texans 10 the Colts 17. That is right. Everyone in the Studio Audience is going to get an official Ryan Fitzpatrick game jersey. Now remember folks these will be collector’s item next year when ole Fitzie is not playing with the Texans.

 

                 Wow what a difference a couple of weeks make? A couple of Weeks ago the Raiders could do no wrong against Kansas City. This week well it was business as usual.

Final Score the Raiders 13 the Chiefs 31. Raiders are on the suck side again.

 

                There are times in the NFL to Rest on Past Accomplishments. Like a coach that wins a couple Super bowls, when no one thought they would get in the playoffs. But someone should tell the Miami Olphins that you can’t rest on your past accomplishments from the first half. Being behind 13 to 14 is great at the end of second quarter.

Final Score the Pats 41 the Olphins 13. You can’t just let them score like they are a refugee from Cuba in Miami for the first time.

 

                So in the next game we could talk about how the rules of the game are skewed against the Washington Redskins. But that doesn’t solve any of our problems. Santana Moss was ejected for, (lack of a better word) being a Jackwagon. There are certain things that you don’t do, everyone knows them, you don’t urinate while the wind is blowing in your face. You do not try to redirect Superman by using his cape. And you don’t push an official on the football field. After the Game a reporter asked NYG Coach “Your Quarterback playing better in recent weeks isn’t he?” to which the coach replied “Is he playing better? Really you think throwing the ball up in the air and letting our greatest weapon go get it, means the quarterback is playing better. Well I will check with his father to see how well he is playing.”

Final score the Deadskins 13 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 24. While coach was making his comments Elisha, was standing on the step just to the right of the podium. He decided he would return to the locker room with a few tears rolling down his checks.

 

                If there was ever a riveting game from the NFC South it might just have been a game from 2009. This game was not riveting, interesting, or even entertaining. This was typical game 15 on the schedule between two teams that might as well have been best to be forgotten.

Final Score the Tampa Bay Panthers … does it really matter what the score was? One team had a few points the other team had a few less…

 

                 So most kids when they are growing up dream of being in the NFL. They work hard, in junior high, and in High school. If they are lucky the get to play college football and keep that NFL Dream alive. In as much as any dream can be kept alive by an 18 to 22 year old. The lucky/good ones get to go to a premiere college football program and get to start a couple of years. Still working hard and putting the blood, sweat and tears to become the best they can be, all the while dreaming of putting on that NFL Helmet and stepping on to the field with other who have worked hard and studied. Then these kids get anxious about what people think of them, how will they make the grade on draft day. Then Finally they hear those words they so long to hear “With the third pick in the draft we take…”

Final Score the Jaguars 12 the Raven20. So you are Blake Bortles, and you just realized that all you dreams and all your hard work gets you to Jacksonville. Is that dream accomplished or dream unfulfilled?

 

                Can there be anything more surprising on Week 15 than owner being totally shocked that you are going into a game with the same record (2-11) as your opponent. Or that your owner is totally shocked that you won the game on the road to lay claim to the 4^th pick in the draft.

Final Score the NEW YORK JETS 16 the Titans 11. This game deserved way less time than we gave it… I know we are totally shocked too…

 

                It is the players on each team that shape the team. It is the coaches that mold the players into his idea of the team. It is the Father of the quarterback that directs the coaches on how best to use his Son. Sitting in the Coaches office after the game the old familiar ring came across John Fox’s phone. As the other coaches scrambled out of the office Coach Fox takes the Call. “Yes sir. Well he did throw a touchdown pass today, so we have a new streak going. Well honestly I couldn’t say that. No Really I don’t want to say that. Really? You really want me to say that my kicker is better than your son? Okay Conner Barth is better than Elisha. I am sorry you were breaking up. Oh you said I thought you meant Daughter.”

Final Score Bronco’s 22 the Super Chargers 10.  We bet those conversations are interesting…

 

                Up next we check in on the GREATEST RUNNING BACK IN THE HISTORY OF THE NFL, REGGIE BUSH. Even while having an injury plagued year REGGIE is still entertaining. After the game he was asked about his performance. “Well I was really looking forward to coming in and Whipping Adrian Peterson’s ass like I had a switch in my hand, But I guess he is hurt or something because I didn’t even see him on the field. Ha Maybe he was scared of the day I was going to have?” The reporter replied “Peterson is out on suspension, and even with that, your production was just 17 yards more than Peterson who didn’t play. Do you have anything else to add?” BUSH “Well I am not sure why he is on suspended, but even if I had one more yard than him it makes me better than him.”

Final Score the Viqueens 14 the Lions 16. It is nice to know that the little things make you happy REGGIE BUSH.

 

                Na Na nah, Na Na nah hey hey hey goodbye… See you later San Francisco, see you next time Coach Harbough. Goodbye to the old 49er. Hello to a new coach, a new philosophy, a new team structure and a lot less success. Hello for more worry the quarterback, hello to a new running back. Oh wouldn’t it be interesting if Marshon Lynch decided to go to San Francisco in the off season? Maybe the drop off would not be so bad. Oh and Just so Pete Carroll understands, that was a good hit on your quarterback at the end of the game and the explanation of the so called Penalty “Face mask to the chest” is the equivalent of it being a penalty for the defense to huddle up between plays.

Final Score the 49er 7 the Shehawks 17. Wonder if the game would have been different if Seattle had kicked a field goal then they were only up 6 points with 7 minutes to go. Just saying.

 

                If you have been waiting for Sunday night, then wait no more. Because Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth are here to beat the smallest point they can find in the ground. And if those guys aren’t enough let’s bring in Big Bob Costas to point out the obvious and bring his own special brand of Stupidity to any thought that might be floating in the World. So tell us Bob, how do feel about Christmas fudge? Is it a tried and true Holiday snack or is it an evil fattening dessert that should be left out all celebrations, come on tell us how the world is getting fat due to eating fudge at the holidays. And don’t you dare open your mouth to call it Christmas. But we digress. We knew someone was going to get a dirty Sanchez on this night. And it is the holiday season. And it is better to give than receive.

Final Score Cowgirls 38 the Beagles 27. So the Beagles were in a giving mood, 4 turnovers are quite the little holiday treat… a lot better than fudge according to Bob.

 

                And lastly the game that no one wanted to see. It was fitting that this game was put on ESPN in Week 15. Where else could you garner so much excitement for two 5 and 9 teams. We mean really this was an all-out assault on the intelligence of the viewer. How could anyone with no affiliation to either team even tune in for a look at the score? There were probably fewer Fantasy players on both teams than there were in the Carolina VS Tampa bay game (played on Sunday). The only thing worse than this game would have been the Jets vs the Titans (played on Sunday). So what happened in the game you ask?

Final Score the Taints 24 the bears 15. Oh and Mark Trestman head coach for the bears(not for much longer) if you are down 24 to 0, you go for 2 each time you score, we don’t how they do it in Canada.

 

Okay well that will do it for us today, we hope you have enjoyed this as much as we have putting it together. And remember like we always say…

 

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where they strung up a man they say murdered three.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where the dead man called out for his love to flee.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Where I told you to run so we’d both be free.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you
Coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.