Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 12

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 12

 

                As we draw to a close the first 70% of the season it is time to reflect back on the misfortune that was week 12. Before we talk about week 12 there were two teams that didn’t show up at all, Pittsburg, or Carolina. They decided the best way to Honor the NFL was to stay home, and we agree with them whole heartedly. So if we are going to do this on the holiday week there is no one better to get us started that the Titan of turkey, The Gorgeous Green Bean of casserole, The Dominator of Dressing… Expo, Kick it!!!

 

                First up we found out just how this Week was going to shape up, when the Oakland Raiders invited the Kansas City Chiefs over for a little Pre-thanksgiving celebration. And all was good until Kickoff. Once again the Indians got duped. Oh they brought the Mashed potatoes and the candied Yams, they even brought pecan pie. They just didn’t realize they were going to be the main course.

Final score the Chiefs 20 the Raiders 24. And while the Raider still sick this year, they didn’t suck as bad as the Kansas City this week.

 

                First up on Sunday we find the up and down Atlanta Falldowns. They win a game and they are up, then they lose a game and they are down. IT seems like every week they either Win or Lose. However more often than not they lose. And that includes this week as well.

Final Score the Cleveland 26 the Atlanta 24. Nothing like kicking a field goal to win the game to make you think good about yourself. Too bad because when you wake up in the morning you know that you are still Cleveland.

 

                It is a sad day when this game comes up on the schedule. Tampa Bay and the Chicago, we have just two words for you Horrible. Nominee for Worst game on Fox.

Final Score the Tampa Bay 13 the Chicago 21. Right that was only one word. The other word is…

 

                So the next game we could tell you about had the Jaguars and the Colts fighting it out. This game was kind of like that fight between Superman and Batman only Superman was a Rottweiler and Batman was stuffed animal. Nominee for Worst game on CBS.

Final Score the Stuffed Animal 3 the Superman 23. And the game wasn’t even this close.

 

                Did you ever wonder what happened to the great battle between the Green Bay Packers and the Minnesota Viqueens?  We did too, this game was on the schedule and we looked forward to it, but in the end, it just didn’t measure up. Did anyone really think that the Viqueens we going to hold up? Really?

Final Score the Packers 24 the Viqueens 21. So was it the 4 wins in the first 10 games that the Viqueens had that made you think that they could play with the Packers?

 

                So in the world of the NFL the Experts have to tell you that this game was going to be a barn burner. They had to tell you all the reasons that the Patriots were going to lose the game that Detroit was going to come to New England and win. This was New England, not old England. This little song and dance has happened to us before, and nothing has ever come of it. Let’s take a look at what the greatest running back in the history of the NFL did. REGGIE BUSH had as many carries as a dead man with double the production to show for it. This season, he has rushed 53 times for 191 yards, and he had caught 26 passes for 169 yards. That folks is the reason he is in the league. 79 touches for 360 yards.

Final Score the Lions 9 the Pats 34. Could someone please tell the Lions to win in the NFL you need more than 3 Freaking Field goals.

 

                Well you knew it was going to happen and this week was no different. Ever since Nick Foles has been out with whatever he broke this time, his collar bone, his leg, his FUPA. The fans of the Eagles, if there are any, have gotten a “dirty” Sanchez. This week was no better; however he was able to sneak one on the Tennessee Titans, before he left the field.

Final Score the Titans 24 the Eagles 43. You can insert you own joke here…

 

                Okay so let us ask you has the novelty of the J J Watts stats worn out its welcome? We mean each week we taut how great he is, we hear the all the accolades that the media heap on him. We mean maybe he is the greatest Defensive player to ever play the game. Or maybe not. This week, he only had 3 solo tackles, and assisted on 4 tackles. He sat on the grand jury in St Louis, he batted down a pass. He delivered turkeys to the homeless; he mashed 5000 pounds of potatoes, and headed the used coat drive.

Final score the Bengals 22 the Texans 13. The other thing he didn’t do was get Houston a win.

 

                So the Ewes went west to play the Super Chargers. And can you guess what happened? They lost the First down battle by 3. They lost the Total Yard battle by 90 yards. They lost the time of Possession by 2 minutes. Are you getting the theme here?

Final Score the Ewes 24 the Super Chargers 27. See???

 

                So then the Cardinals got to play someone in their own Division. And Drew Stanton showed everyone why he is a third string. Do you know what 14 of 26 for 149 yards get you?? Not a lot, then add the fact that you had 3 sacks and one interception. The Cardinal Pride is strong in the one wasn’t it?? But in this Bird fight the Cardinal ended up being the Penguin in a foot race.

Final Score the Cardinals 3 the Shehawks 23. Well when you run Drew Stanton on the field can you expect more than 3 points??

 

                So when the Olphins went to high D, they were ready for everything that the Bronco’s had to offer. But the fourth quarter was not what they expected. After the Game Peyton Manning was asked about his performance “Well I think we played pretty good and then we looked up and I will be damned if we were behind. So I got the offensive together and asked them, Boys what is going to take for us to win? They said if you will quit playing like your sister that would be great.” And how did that make you feel? The reporter asked. “Well, it stung a little bit, you know, I had to just think about it, then one of the trainers brought over this mirror and I saw for the first time in a long time, that I am not a girl. So I lead the team to 3 touchdowns in the fourth Quarter.

Final Score the Olphins 35 the Broncos 38. No even though your name is Peyton, and that name is a girl’s name, you are not a girl.

 

                Up next the Washington Deadskins came to San Francisco to play a game. This is the kind of game that is epic; this is the kind of game that stories are told about for years to come. This is the kind of game that get coaches fired, and Quarterbacks Benched. This is the kind of game that makes you long for a five dollar foot long sandwich even if it has avocado and spinach on it. Robert Griffin 3 had a game most quarterbacks dream of if they were having a nightmare. 11 of 19 for 106 yards, that is really Geno Smith Production.

Final score the Deadskins 13 the 49ers 17. We would not be surprised if the Deadskins benched Robert Griffin the 3.   

 

                On Sunday night we have the pleasure of bringing you the Dallas Cowgirls and the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS. The Cowgirls headed up to New Jersey for a tough hard fought battle against the Giants. These Two teams have had such a history that we can hardly mention this game without giving it due respect. The Giants had 9 more first downs, out gained the Cowgirls by 30 more yards, had the ball for 10 more minutes, but what this game really came down to was not whether Odell Beckham Jr made the greatest catch in the history of the NFL, but it came down to Elisha Manning once again. After the game Coach Tom Coughlin was asked about the drive that ended with the interception? “Well I can tell you one thing, I didn’t see the play, from what I was told by the coaches up stairs is that the ball was high and our guy tipped it and then their guy caught it. So if that is the interception you are talking about? That is how I  heard about it.” the reported asked a follow up “But I thought you said you didn’t see it.” to which the coach replied “Next Question.” Another reporter asked “What were you doing that you didn’t see the interception?” “Next Question.” On the third time the Reporters got their answer. “If you guys think I watch the whole game like my career depended on it you must be crazy. I catch about every other series we have the ball. Oh I am looking down at the play sheet, well I call it a play sheet it is mainly a lamented copy of the funny pages, that Damn Marmaduke is hilarious isn’t he?”

Final Score the Cowgirls 31 the Giants 28. Elisha do you have a comment on what your coach just said? “Sure, Marmaduke is good, but I like Kathy as well she has a lot of insight.

 

                On Monday we find 2 games, and since this game was moved we decided to cover it first. So we wondered what would happen if one Professional team had an entire week to prepare for a game and another team had about 36 hours to prepare for the same game. And Since God Challenged the City of Buffalo to the Ice Bucket challenge the Bills had their home game moved to Detroit. And it seemed like no one told the New YORK FOOTBALL JETS. Try as they might they couldn’t get to Buffalo, it wasn’t until late in the second half. They got to Detroit and Kicked one field goal and left.

Final Score the J E T S 3 the Bills 38. So you can guess that the JETS are this week’s Birth Canal Team of Week.

 

                And now the true Monday night game. The Ravens found a new home in New Orleans. And what Raven wouldn’t love to be in the New Orleans? And they flew in and Dropped a Bomb on the Taints and left.

Final Score the Raven 34 the Taint 27. Nothing here to see, just a lot of bird crap, but with the Taints that is nothing new.

 

That is it for us this week.

And remember like we always say…

 

 

Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven sin
Saw you there and I thought
Oh my God, look at that face
You look like my next mistake
Love's a game, want to play?
New money, suit and tie
I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it funny, rumors, lie
And I know you heard about me
So hey, let's be friends
I'm dying to see how this one ends
Grab your passport and my hand
I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I've got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name

Cherry lips, crystal skies
I could show you incredible things
Stolen kisses, pretty lies
You're the king baby I'm your Queen
Find out what you want
Be that girl for a month
Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no
Screaming, crying, perfect storm
I can make all the tables turn
Rose gardens filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like
"Oh my God, who is she?"
I get drunk on jealousy
But you'll come back each time you leave
'Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane (Insane)
But I've got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name

Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya
Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I've got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name