Stroll Down the NFL Boulevard Week 14

Stoll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 14

 

                Well Hello everyone and Happy Week 14. Usually this is the point in the Season where we start to look at draft order, Teams playing out the string, Teams looking for new head coaches. So let’s see what we get when we look at this week’s game. Expo, are you… Expo. Expo!! Wake up man good God man; did you have that much turkey? Come on Man Kick it like only you can!!!

 

                First up the game that everyone in Dallas was dreading, the first game of December. This game almost always spells Doom for the Cowgirls. However this year the Cowgirls maybe different. They do have DeMarco Maurry, and a revamped Offensive line, and they still have Toni Romo. And that could still spell doom. Let’s just say that this might be the year that 10 and 6 doesn’t make the playoffs. And wouldn’t that be a Dan Baily Kick in the head.

Final Score the Cowgirls 41 the Bears 28. Nobody puts the Ch in Choke like Chicago!!!

 

                So let’s head to Sunday where the Pittsburg Steelers head to Cincinnati for a tough AFC North Battle. Both teams looked like they were going to take this serious, but then the Bengals got to the fourth quarter and folded and fell from the sky like a paper airplane. Nevermind nothing could have kept this from happening, as they even ran Jason Campbell on the field to take a few snaps.

Final Score the Steelers 42 to the Bengals 21. Oh and if Jason Campbell is your Answer, then we aren’t sure we even want to know what the question is???

 

                Okay next up we have just one question and we want you to think long and hard about it. If you are the backup Quarterback and the guy in front of you has stats like say 14 for 31 for 140 yards with 2 interceptions, and you can’t get in the game because the coach doesn’t think you can do any better? Then why are you playing? Why don’t you go teach a Woman’s over 40 low impact aerobics class.

Final Score the Colts 25 the Browns 24. Hell put Johnny Aerobics out on the field, it is better than him hold a clipboard and getting melted snicker bars on it.

 

                Well, well, well look who decided to come back to the Field this week. Only the Greatest Running back in the history of the NFL, REGGIE BUSH. Why don’t we see what REGGIE did this week shall we? 8 Carries for 26 yards, and 4 catches for 8 yards. 12 touches for 34 yards. And the entire crowd breathed a collective sigh of relief, when the game was over.

Final Score the Yuccaneers 17 the Lions 34. Nowhere in the world was there a bigger groan of despair than in Detroit, but that might not have been because of REGGIE BUSH.

 

                So let us get this straight. One touchdown pass, one fumble recovery for a touchdown and a rushing touchdown, and 5 field goals makes you a winner? Come on does it really make you a winner or a wiener?  After the game a reporter asked Elisha how did you think you did.  “Well did I play like a Hall of famer today?” Elisha asked? The reporter giggled and said “Really?” Elisha replied “Yes that is not out of the question, I didn’t have a fumble, only had one interception, and we won” The reporter responded “Will your father love you now?”  As a single tear ran down Elisha’s painted face. He turned away.

Final Score the NYFG 34 the Titans 7. With 5 field goals, we can only think that the Giants Kick the Titans all over the field, well at least Josh Brown did…

 

                The next game turned on one thing and one thing only. The Ugliest uniforms in the NFL were out uglyed by the ugliest uniform only occasionally worn. Can there be anything worse than the Baltimore uniform, other than that stupid Teal Trimmed uniform of the Olphins. If there was ever a poster child for getting rid of a color it would be the Olphin uniform. That bright assed color strikes fear in no heart and shows no toughness what so ever. Oh if you want to put it on Girls Birthday cake sure go ahead. If you want to put it on a care bear, then by all means go right ahead,

Final Score the Ravens 28 the Olphins 13. Oh we can see it now here is the newest Care bear, the Teal colored confidence bear, because nothing says confidence like Teal. Yea right…

 

               

                Okay so the interesting thing is that one NEW YORK Team Kicked 5 field goals and won. The other NEW YORK Team Kicked 5 field goals and lost. And while we have talked about one NEW YORK team, This NEW YORK team isn’t worth talking about.  WE have two words for you Geno Smith.

Final Score the JETS 24 the Viqueens 30. So we could give a little love the Viqueens, but that just wouldn’t be our Style.

 

                So something is amiss here. This is not the New Orleans Taints we have grown accustom to. Is this the same team that won the Superbowl a few years ago? Is this the team that couldn’t be beaten at that urine smelling stink hole they call home? Is this the same coaching staff that was caught in the bounty gate? Have they lost their edge? Have they lost their spunk for the fight?

Final Score the Panthers 41 the Taints 10. In what can only be described as a Riot gone wrong. Panther Quarterback Cam “the Fig” Newton turned over his own car while inside it. He broke a few vertebrae in his back and is probably out the rest of the season, Tragic but a necessary evil when you Riot/celebrate.

 

                Okay so this is getting a little ridiculous. Does anyone Score on the Ewes anymore? The Fans in Washington, well you really can’t call them fans of Washington can you Expo? They are more like the people who come to watch a game, while in Washington. They were screaming the name of one player, Robert Griffin 3. It doesn’t look like anything was going to help the Deadskins against the Vaunted Ewes Defense.

Finals Score the Ewes 24 the Deadskins 0. Yep that is right, it is as if the Birth canal Trophy wasn’t hated enough, now we have to give it to town that is the most hated District of Columbia in these United States.  

 

                “Hello Again and welcome to the J J Watts show, I am your host J J Watts. On This week’s show I am going to replay, my 3 sacks, and 4 solo Tackles, I am also going to show you how I knock a ball down at the line of scrimmage. I am also going to show you how I get prepared for the game.  I will show you how I am practicing to take over the punting duties or how I might just start returning kicks. But before we get to that we have Bindi Irwin, the Crocodile hunters Daughter, she has brought in some Spiders for us to check out. But before we do that I am going to go back here to the kitchen and show you how I make my special scramble eggs and toast for Breakfast. So come on back to the J J Watts show

Final Score the Houston 27 the Tennessee 13. Huh Expo? Can we turn the channel please, we don’t like spiders…

 

                 So this game brings up the question of how do you upstage Peyton Manning on his home field? You score three touchdowns running the ball. Hey C J Anderson you ran the ball 3 times for 10 yards and scored three touchdowns. Not bad. After the game Peyton was sitting in front of his locker when his phone rang that old familiar ring tone, “Oh when the Saints come marching in” “Hey Dad” Peyton Answered. “Well dad not everyone can throw a touchdown pass in 52 games, in fact I have only thrown a touchdown in only 51 straight games till today. No Dad I don’t want you to start calling me Elisha… Dad Stop it! Dad no one ever thought that was funny. No Mom never did think it was funny. Okay okay okay, Maybe Cooper, but no one else.”

Final score the Bills 17 the Bronco’s 24. “Yes dad I know you played in New Orleans. Yes Dad I know you only had one bar for a facemask. Dad, Dad, Dad… Yes I have watched the old films.”

 

                Hey Expo, did you see this next game? Yea, this could have been the battle of the ugliest red uniforms which is completely different than those ugly uniforms we talked about earlier. There is nothing more hideous than red Jersey’s with red Pants. Who the hell do they think they are, Santa Claus, or the Cool-aid guy? Well let’s get to the game.

Final Score the Chiefs 14 the Cardinals 17. Yep, that will just about do it.

 

                There is an old adage in football that we talk about all the time. The Team that has to travel across country has so many things to have to happen right to win, things have to fall into place for the traveling team to win. That team has to deal with time changes, new surroundings different hotels, different schedules it is just hard to travel across the country and won, virtually impossible. And apparently it is also impossible to travel across the San Francisco Bay and win. The 49er just proved that.

Final Score the 49er 13 the Raider 24. Oh Raiders you still suck, it is just today the 49er sucked worse than you. Or is it that the 49er sucked more than you. Expo these double negatives get us every time.

 

                While you are supposed to have more completed passes than first down in a game, having one more is not what the football experts mean when they say that. Would someone please tell Chip Kelly Head Coach for the Philadelphia Beagles? We can’t be sure what the Beagles were doing in the 10 days they had between games, but hey they could have worked in a practice every so often maybe?

Final score the Shehawks 24 the Beagles 14, and the game was not this close.

 

                Here we are again on Sunday night. And what do we get, the Tom Brady show. Can there be a football game where Tom Brady is not playing, or talked about? Come on Chris Collinsworth has to have 17 mentions of Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. each game, if he is not playing, and 75 if he is. On Sunday night this kind of sums up the television coverage when Collinsworth said “Well Al, when you look at Tom Brady, you just say… Wow. Okay and then you stop and think what else should I say??? So you just say Wow.”

Final Score the Patriots 23 the Super Chargers 14. To Which Al said “Well Wow is good and I can’t imagine saying anything else. 4^th and 11 for the Patriots at their own 40, and they will punt which is probably the best play here in the middle of the 3^rd quarter.”

 

                So on Monday we had the Falldowns heading to play Green Bay. This game was nothing new. We could have watched this game in our Sleep. So in the Second Quarter the Packers scored 24 points, and lead 31 to 7 going to half time, then Falldowns tried to come back, Rogers kept them at arm length, like most of the Junior high girls do at the fall harvest dance. “Hum my dad told me to tell you he is not afraid to go back to jail if you do something to me on the dance floor. So we should just dance with this chair between us, just in case.”

Final Score the Falldowns 37 the Packers 43. Yep junior high girls at the fall harvest dance. That brings back memories doesn’t Expo? Sweaty boys and overly perfumed girls, with real tall hair, and the giggling, oh lord the giggling.

 

 

Well that will do it for us, we sure do hope you have enjoyed this as much as we have.

Remember like we always say!!!

 

This hit, that ice cold
Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold
This one for them hood girls
Them good girls straight masterpieces
Stylin', whilen, livin' it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty

I'm too hot (hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire man
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad 'bout that money, break it down

Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch (come on)

Don't believe me just watch uh

Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh

Stop, wait a minute
Fill my cup, put some liquor in it
Take a sip, sign a check
Julio, get the stretch
Ride to Harlem, Hollywood
Jackson, Mississippi
If we show up, we gon' show out
Smoother than a fresh dry skippy

I'm too hot (hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire man
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Bitch say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad 'bout that money
Break it down

Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch (come on)

Don't believe me just watch uh

Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh

Before we leave
Lemmi tell y'all a lil' something
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up uh
I said uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up

Come on, dance, jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
If you freaky then own it
Don't brag about it, come show me

Come on, dance
Jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
Well it's Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch come on!

Don't believe me just watch uh

Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh

Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up