Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 9

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 9

 

                Here we are on Week nine and it seems like the season just started. We are flying through this season like a knife thru hot butter. Well let’s talk about who is not playing; the White Bronco is home making Oranges juice out of Apples. Jacksonville will not lose this week. San Francisco will try to keep pace with Seattle by not playing. Arizona is off as well as Detroit. And the NEW YORK FOOTBALL BLUE  TEAM of average or lesser size are at home trying to figure out of to grow a couple of inches. Okay, that will do it for those with a bye week. So Lefty can you please kick please!

 

                Is this the craziest, zaniest way to end a football game? Okay so this would have been a great game on Sunday but since it was on Thursday was anyone watching? Were you? Or were you saying to yourself “Well the Dolphins haven’t won a game in 4 weeks. And Cincinnati was scoring like a male Attorney in a women’s prison with a fist full of Pardons.” So you probably just went Trick or Treating didn’t you? We think we saw you when you came by our house. Were you the one dressed in the brown sheet with the small black spots on it?         

Final Score the Bungels 20 the Dolphins 22 Really you were a Potato?? Really? That must have been why we only gave you 1 box of grape Nerds.

 

                So first up on Sunday we find ourselves in Buffalo. And what do we find in Buffalo? We find the undefeated Kansas City Chiefs and that high powered offense. Can anyone tell us how many points that high powered offense produced? Come on. Anyone? 23? No sorry next? 17? Afraid not. Anyone else?

Final Score the Chiefs 23 the Bills 13 That number is 9. 9 freaking points is all this offense could muster

 

                Well the Titans wanted a Rematch of a spectacular Superbowl. However this one would end a little differently. Back in Jan of 2000, with the Titans down to their last play Steve McNair threw a slant to Kevin Dyson who missed putting the ball in the endzone, on what turned out to be the last play of the game.  This time without Steve McNair in attendance the Ewes had a little more trouble. We have one thing to say about this game, Kellen Clemens you are no Slingin Sammie Bradford.

Final Score the Titans 28 the Ewes 21. We don’t know what you are, but we know that you are not Slingin Sammie.

 

                One thing can say is that in this crazy NFL that you never know what is going to happen, so last week the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GREEN TEAM had a whipping of the highest order put on them. Then on this Sunday they play one of the top teams in the NFC and out duel them. We can only guess that Rob Ryan had to let his brother win, because his defense didn’t have an answer for Geno Smith. That was strange, because Geno Smith is the answer to the following question.

Final Score the Saints 17 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GREEN TEAM 23. Who is the player that sucks worse than New Jersey? And Listen if you suck worse than a whole state then you might be from West Virginia.

 

                Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you Washington for finally standing up. We knew that you weren’t as bad as everyone made you out to be. But we also know that you are not as good as this game shows. Remember you did just beat a 4 and 4 team who traveled across the country to play a noon game, Hell the San Diego offense might not have even been awake for most the first half. And Robert Griffin 3 started to find his groove as he threw for 291 yards on 23 completions. But this game, this game was tilted on the play of Darrel Young. He had 5 carries for 12 yards, now that is what we are talking about.

Final Score the Chargers 24 the Feather not Dot Native Americans 30. Young had 3 touchdowns in those 5 carries, so we think that is what tilted the game.

 

                If we were to tell you that for the last several years the Cowgirls were a 500 team, win one then lose one, for the most part. So they were supposed to win this one and lose next week right? So we guess that this game had everything, a game winning drive in the final minutes and an interception that nearly cost the Cowgirls the game. But alas one thing holds true this week. The Viqueens Suck.

Final Score the Viqueens 23 the Cowgirls 27 Well the Greatest Running back had a nice game with 140 yards.

 

                So the Falldowns have finally fallen down. Try as they might they just can’t get it together. Some expected a better showing from the fall downs than just 2 whens in 8 games. That is so ridiculous.  And whoever decided that the Panthers were going to be good this year, thank you. They have been kicked around the NFL for a while now and it looks like they finally figured out how to get themselves a couple of wins in a row. Is there anything worse than watching Poor Matt Ryan wonder around on the field like a lost child at the mall?

Final Score the Falldowns 10 the Panthers 34. So what do you call a 2 and 6 team midway through the NFL season the scores only 10 points in a game? We call them this week’s birth Canal team of the week!

 

                Funny thing happened on the way to the final gun in Seattle, the Yuccanneers came to play. Well they only played about 2 quarters before letting the Shehawks climb back into it. After leading at the half 21 to 7 the Yuccanneers spit the bit like a team coached by Lane Kiffin. We mean really, you score 21 points in the second quarter and can only score 3 more the rest of the game. That is like 1 point per quarter. And that is not good at all.

Final Score the Yuccanneers 24 the Shehawks 27. Really 1 point per quarter, wow you might not win a lot of games when you score only 1 point per quarter. But then the Yuccanneers have not won many games this season have they?

                 

                So the Beagles finally figured it out here in the rough and tumble NFL. All they had to do was play the Raiders to get a win. Oh yea and have a quarterback how threw for 7 touchdowns in one game. So let’s all hail the savior to Philadelphia Nick Foles. Hey wasn’t it just a couple of weeks ago that Nick Foles was an abject failure in Philadelphia? He was so bad that the fans wanted to run him out of town faster than Frankenstein, or Santa Claus.  It seems strange to us that a guy who couldn’t throw the ball to an open receiver 2 yards away had the greatest day and NFL history. 7 touchdowns that is something we have not seen since like week 1 right? Peyton did it the first week right?

Final Score the Beagles 49 the Raiders 20. Just suck baby isn’t rubbing off to the other team like the fans thought.

 

                Okay who pissed off Bill Bella-cheat? Because obviously he is pissed. If not why would he run up the score on The Squealers like he did? 55 points really? Well maybe he is not pissed; maybe he can just take advantage of a situation. And this situation with Pittsburg is getting real sad. It is so sad that Ben Roethlisberger said he was going to cruise the junior highs for a little comfort, but at least he was going to look for girls this time. This game would make the Rooney Family (Owners of the Squealers) were thinking of bringing back Bill Cower, if they can get him away from CBS, Honestly that should not be that hard with Shannon Sharpe talking.

Final Score Pittsburg 31 the Patriots 55. And really we do think that Coach Bill does cheat. And Tom Brady is an ass, as  well.

 

                OMG our worst nightmare as come true. When did the NFL allow something like this? Both Brandon Weedon and Jason Campbell were playing in the same game and on the same team. Do you think that for just an instant that the suckyness of both players counteracted the suckyness of each other thus causing a tear in the space ad time continuum and that somehow they were able to guide their team to a victory?

Final score the Ravens 18 the Brownstains 24. Yea we really didn’t think that either. Just kind of throwing it out there. We are a couple weeks away from declaring that the Baltimore football team is about has bad the city.

 

                The sad thing about Sunday night is that Houston coach Gary Kubiak collapsed so he wouldn’t have to watch his tam collapse in the second half. And sure thing they did. After the first half Houston went to half with a 21 to 3 lead. And other than the Roman Empire can anyone name a bigger collapse? We think not. After giving up 3 points in the first half the Mighty Texan Defense Came out in the second half and gave up 24 points. And guess what? Neither Matt Schaub nor TJ Yeats threw an interception that was run back for a touchdown. Amazing.

Final Score the Colts 27 the Texans 24. We here at the stroll want to wish the fastest of recoveries to Coach Kubiak. We don’t know what we would do without you…

 

                Any guess what could make the Monday night fiasco watchable? And we don’t know why we didn’t think about this before. Backup quarterbacks. We think that each team should be forced to play with their backup quarterback for the whole game. It certainly would make the game more interesting for the casual fan. We mean how could this Game have gotten better? You have Seneca Wallace and Josh McCown in the game. This would usually mean disaster. But this was actually a football game we could fall asleep to.

Final Score Da Bears 27 the Packers 20. Oh yea nice drive to end the game. That is the way to kill the clock. Some teams couldn’t kill the clock with a pistol, or poison.

 

Well that will just about to it for us this week. It has been a good week, and we hope you enjoy this as much as we did putting it together.

 

And remember like we always say.

Hail to the Redskins!
Hail victory!
Braves on the warpath,
Fight for old D.C.!

Run or pass or score – we want a lot more!
Beat ‘em, swamp ‘em, touchdown – let the points soar!
Fight on, fight on, til you have won, Sons of Washington!