Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 11

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 11

 

                We are finally at week 11. It has taken us nearly 2 and half months to get here and what do we have to show for it? Well we have had some good, and bad, some awesome and some horrible. And we will discuss it as always right here. But before we do, for those in the audience that are Bye curious we will tell you who is off this week; The Cowgirls are trying to figure out how to get away from mediocrity. The Ewes are basking in the Glow that Thanksgiving Day is coming up and people eat turkey and not Lamb chops. So Lefty will you please kick it…

 

                So on Thursday the Tennessee Titans invited the Colts of Indianapolis to a fine Tennessee experience.  Did anyone know that a full grown Mastodon was found in Tennessee with the cut marks typical of pre-historic hunters? Interesting huh? Exploring Tennessee would have been more interesting than this game. About the only interesting factoid from this game is that Ryan Fitzpatrick found a home for at least a week. The Drunken Irish man from Buffalo rode his sobriety all the way to the loss column.  Oh he played well enough to win by going 22 of 28 for 222 yards but his efforts fell just short.

Final Score the Colts 30 the Titans 27. Really, a Mastodon that must have been like 12,000 years old? 

 

                Wow the Battle of Ohio has become a game of legendary proportions. After spotting the Brownstains a 13 point lead in the first Quarter the Bungels showed what they thought of the Brownstains efforts.  So in the second quarter the Bungels had a touchdown drive, followed by a touchdown drive, followed by blocking a punt for a touchdown, followed returning a fumbled for a touchdown, followed by a field goal to end the first half. If that doesn’t show a little muscle flexing we don’t know what will.

Final score the Brownstains 20 the Bungels 41. Oh and that 31 points in the second quarter was a Bungel record, just in case you were wondering.

 

                As you know it can be so close in the NFL that sometimes it is the bounce of a ball, the blink of an eye, the flip of a coin that makes all the difference in a game and one team can’t recover from this little miscue and they are distend to lose. Well it happened again this weekend as the coin flip happened and the Texans were in a game with the Raiders. We don’t know if the Texans lost the coin flip or not, but we do know that the Raiders ran an undrafted free agent rookie Quarterback on the field and he made the Texans bow to his will. Texan Interim head coach Wade Phillips is showing why he should never be a head coach again in the NFL. Some things just aren’t passed from father to son and well head coaching prowess was not passed along on the Phillips side of the family tree.

Final Score the Raiders 28 the Texans 24. One more loss for the Texans and they will not be able to claim a 500 record this year. Are they still the best pro football team in Texas?

 

                We guess that there are only 2 things you need to know about the next game. 1 Carson Palmer threw for 419 yards. 2 Chad Henne didn’t. Looks like the Jaguars are back to their losing ways. But hey look at it this way. You guys suck, and for Christmas you should get a new Coach and no worse than the second pick in the draft.

Final score the Cardinals 27 the Jaguars 14. Is that all that had to happen is that the Cardinals had to get out of the Arizona to play well or was it that they played the Jaguars?

 

So we guess that everyone knows what is happening in the NFC Least. There is a team that won last year and their Quarterback got hurt in the playoffs and he is not ready to play up to his level of expectation. There is a team that started the season with a new head coach and his trying to figure his way in this NFL. There are a couple of other teams that we will not get into here. But someone will win this division most likely with 8 wins total and then get feed to a wild card team that has around 10 or maybe 11wins and then get beat on their home field. So is it a stretch to say that no one wants to win the NFC Least? Just saying?

Final Score the Feather not dot Native Americans 16 the Beagles 24. Beagle Head Coach Chip Kelly was asked after that game who would win in a bird fight an Eagle or a Duck? He replied “Well the Duck is a pretty feisty animal.” Huh Does that make him Anti-American?

 

                Oh how the mighty have fallen. Is this the sign of the times? How long will we have to endure that the facts that Josh McCown out played the Delaware destroyer Joe Flacco? Oh no you can say all you want about the weather and how the lightning was too bad to play, but the fact of the matter is that Josh McCown out played, in the rain, in the wind, in the lightning, in a tornado, in an earthquake, while fracking, while showing his ID to Vote. No doubt about it.

Final Score the Ravens 20 Da Bears 23. Oh wait you don’t have to show your ID to Vote in Illinois, but while riding in the car, on a plane, on a train, in a box, with a fox McCown was still better..

 

                If life ever gets too rough for you just remember your name is not Geno Smith and you don’t play in the NFL. And you don’t have to play against the Buffalo Bills when they are trying playing in the tough AFC East battle. Man we can only imagine going 8 for 23 for 104 yards in the game and throwing 3 interceptions, that means that you completed only 5 more passes to your team than you did the other team. And then to top it off you get benched for Matt Sims. Oh the Humanity.

Finals Score the NEW YORK GREEN FOOTBALL L TEAM 14 the Bills 37. It looks like the Manual laborer was back for Buffalo, which may or may not be a good thing.

 

                Do we get to take any credit for this week’s turn around in Big Ben? Did we call him out last week? “Watch more film and spend less time at the junior high dances?” is that all it took? Really, you get called out by us and you come to play huh? Well take it to heart every week and quit acting like a titty baby.  Makes sense to us right Lefty?  Oh and nice way to end the game by scoring not 1 but 2 touchdowns in the final 5 minutes to get the win.

Final score the Lions 27 the Squealers 37. Hey REGGIE BUSH don’t let us forget about you. 12 carries 31 yards and fumble. Nice.

 

                Next it is time to tell you what happened in the Buccan game. Lefty is this a typo? Really? Tampa Bay put 41 points on someone this week and have their first winning streak of the season? And are we watching the collapse of a once proud franchise? No Atlanta has never been proud of anything in their history. Except maybe peaches? And the new way to eat peaches, “Peach Salsa” Does that not sound like crap on a cracker to you?

Final score the Falldowns 28 the Yuccanneers 41. Is there anything Atlanta is proud of???

 

                If you are looking for blame in the next game, it will be hard to find it. The Super Chargers played well enough to win but they didn’t. The Dolphins played well enough to lose but they didn’t. You know just about every week there is a non-descript game that makes us think about what to say about it. Currently we don’t have anything to say about this game other than it was played.

Final Score the Super Chargers 17 the Dolphins 20. Hum let us think about it more. Nope not a damn thing comes to mind, sorry.

 

                Well next we head to the Norwest where the Shehawks are Kings. Way up here in Canada things can happen without anyone even knowing about it. And really if we didn’t talk about the Shehawks would anyone even know anything about Washington State? Well we were not going to tell you about that state right now. What we will tell you is that no one wants to go there to play. No one. And that doesn’t bode well for the rest of the NFL. Thank God the Superbowl will not be played up there, but the road to the Super bowl may just go through there. Now for the game whatever the Greatest Running back in the NFL Adrian Peterson did was have been counteracted by Christian Ponder.  But Peterson did almost nothing gaining 65 yards all day.

Final Score the Viqueens 20 the Shehawks 41. And Ponder counteracted that with 2 interceptions, a fumble and we think he may have pooped his pants. But that last one is unconfirmed.

 

                Is this the greatest comeback in the history of football? Or is this just another typical season of NEW YORK BLUE FOOTBALL players of average or below size? Well the Packers brought everything they could find with them to New York, including Aaron Rogers. But the Discount Double check didn’t have anything to do with the game. The Packers left their game in the hands of Scoot Tolzein, so what could have possibly gone wrong? Well old Mr. Scott threw 3 interceptions. There were also 2 other fumbles, and boys and girls how many times has a team with 5 turnovers won a game?

Final Score the Packers 13 the NEW YORK BLUE FOOTBALL players of average size or less 27. That is right only 2 and Detroit did it a couple of weeks ago to the Cowgirls. This week the smell of the inner thigh was a lot more prevalent in New Jersey. As someone slid a hand under the Packer Skirt and found This Week’s Birth canal team of the week. Does anyone else feel violated?

 

                And do we need any more evidence of the poor play of Colin Kaepernick?  Then let us give you 17 of 31 for 127 yards 3 sacks and an interception. And now the 49ers are almost not in the playoff picture. Right know they are like that picture at Christmas with a photo bomb with that crazy uncle making Bunny ears over your head.  Right now the Colin couldn’t throw the ball into the San Francisco Bay without the ocean dropping it, or him getting tackled by a stray piece of sand on the beach. This Sophomore Slump is here to stay folks and we think that eventually that uncle will fade from this year’s picture. Now back the New Orleans, huh, well just forget it.

Finals score the 49ers 20 the Aints 23.  We thought about it and sometimes it is better to just say nothing.

 

                And now the Game we have all were all waiting to see.  The Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos, is the game everyone wanted to see right? Because these two teams have been burning up the NFL.  Can you remember the last winning team that either team has beaten? Let us take a look at these to juggernauts neither team has beaten a team that is better than 500. So the good thing is that they are beating the teams they are supposed to, they are beating the teams that are on the schedule. And that is good. This game was just a game, and who would make the play, maybe not the mistake.

Final Score the Chiefs 17 the Broncos 27. After the game a reporter asked Alex Smith what he thought of the White Bronco. “Well” he said “I heard he once stopped a total eclipse because it was going to interfere with his practice time.  His father told me that when Peyton was born he threw a pass with such a tight spiral it cut his own cord.”

 

                And finally the last Game of the week a Monday night extravaganza. In a Rematch of Superbowl XXXVII Back then the Patriots drove and kicked the field goal to win the game. This win allowed them to match the Cowgirls for three Superbowl wins in four years. In this game the Patriots start a drive with 59 seconds left and they were down by 4 points so the need  touch down. After driving down the get a chance in the endzone and then a flag comes out on the last play guaranteeing them a play with no time on the clock right?

Final Score the Patriots 20 the Panther24. Oh wait… Lefty and I got together and discussed this and decided that we are going to wave off this last game, thanks

 

 

                 

Well that will do it for us this week. We hope that you have enjoyed this as much as we have putting it together…

And remember like we always say…

 

               

 

Look out football, here we come,
Houston Oilers, Number One.

Houston has the Oilers, the greatest football team.
We take the ball from goal to goal like no one’s ever seen.
We’re in the air, we’re on the ground – always in control,
And when you say the Oilers, you’re talking Super Bowl.

‘Cause we’re the Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers,
Houston Oilers, Number One.
Yes, we’re the Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers,
Houston Oilers, Number One.

We’ve got the offense, we’ve got the defense,
We give the other team no hope.
‘Cause we’re the Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers,
You know we’re gonna hold the rope.

Yes, we’re the Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers,
Houston Oilers, Number One.
Yes, we’re the Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers,
Houston Oilers, Number One.

‘Cause we’re the Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers,
Houston Oilers, Number One – Five – Seven – Eight,
We’re the best from the Lone Star State!
Houston Oilers, Houston Oilers,
Houston Oilers, Number One.

Just so that everyone is aware… please replace Houston Oilers with Tennessee Titans.