Stroll down th NFL Boulevard Week 8 2016

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 8

 

                Well the half way point of the season is upon us, and we are starting to see some trends and some possibilities. Things we enjoy, and things we don’t. But before we get to those things Gloria do you have who is bye this week? Well this is the first time it has happened, Baltimore lost its bye week, and will be assessed one extra loss this season. The Ewes of LA will be strolling down Hollywood boulevard instead of the NFL Boulevard this week. Miami will be MIA this week, and Ellie will be trick or treating alone. It is a good thing that the Steelers are off so Big Ben can chaperone the junior high Halloween dance, and finally San Francisco will be teaching Colin Kaepernick to stand upright. Whew, that is a lot of teams off, but we have them all in. so Jimmie, are we ready? Then Expo would you please kick it??

 

                First up is the stupid Thursday game, are there two better teams to ignore on Thursday than the Jacksonville, and the Tennessee? We can’t think of any two teams better to ignore unless we are going to ignore a Brownstains inter squad scrimmage. So since we are ignoring it…

Final Score…

 

                Next up we go to London. Is anyone else bored with these Games in London? The novelty has worn off. This week we get the dreaded tie. But it is what it is and what it is, is a tie. Which means that these two teams played 75 minutes and neither one could get the upper hand on the other.

Final Score the Deadskins 27 the Bengals 27. And now they both will fly back with neither the satisfaction of a win, nor the disappointment of defeat, safe in the knowledge that they didn’t accomplish anything…

 

                Well now it is time to see what the how the NFL’s Greatest Running back fared against the NFL’s Tom Terrific. Let’s see Jimmie do you have the stats for Tom? 22 of 33 for 315 yards 4 touchdowns and no interceptions. Now for the stats for REG GIE REG GIE REG GIE. 2 carries -8 yards with a long of 2 meaning that he only lost 3 yards every time he ran the ball. Jimmie did you look at his receiving stats? That is where the real productions is. Yes REG GIE had 2 catches for 35 yards. Which means in real production he touched the ball 4 times for a total of 26 yards or 6.5 yards per touch.

Final Score the Patriots 41 the Bills 25. As you can see REG GIE just isn’t getting the ball enough. Or he just isn’t good enough to get the ball more.

               

                Now it is time to cross our fingers and see what happened in the game with the J E T S jets jets jets.  The Fans in Cleveland are still hoping that they can win another title, but this time in baseball, cause winning a title in football doesn’t look like it is happening. Ryan Fitzpatrick had the game of a lifetime, and by saying that his stats showed 16 of 34 for 228. He didn’t screw up enough to lose the game. But then does anyone know how to screw up so bad to lose to Brownstains.

Final Score the J E T S jets jets jets 31 the Brownstains 28. Basketball is coming Cleveland fans basketball is coming.

 

                Kansas City went to Indiana for a game against the Group with very little luck. As the Colts ran on to the field the fans in the stands began to sing “Gloom despair and agony on me! Deep dark depression excessive misery, If it weren’t for bad luck we have no Luck at all. And that is what they got. No Luck.  19 of 35 for 210 yards is not the way this game was supposed to go for Andy… Alex Smith decided to let Nick Foles play a little, because it was the Colts.

Final Score the Chiefs 30 the Colts 14. Actually Alex Smith got a concussion but Nick Foles played well, and he doesn’t have Chip Kelly Screaming at him anymore.

 

                Next up the Shehawks tried everything to win the game in New Orleans. They Tried Russell Wilson at Quarterback, they tried Tanner McEvoy at Quarterback, Hell they even tried Jon Ryan, at quarterback, eventually Russell came back in and finished the game, he was 22 of 34 for 253 yards. But it just wasn’t enough to beat the Juggernaut that is the Aints, with their less than 500% record, and their outdated, urine filled stadium. Aints running back Mark Ingram had 3 carries for 5 yards, and a touchdown, albeit for the Shehawks as he had a fumble that was returned for a touchdown. Nice.

Final Score the Shehawks 20 the Aints 25. Ingram got to spend the rest of his afternoon with a sideline view of the game. Fitting for a man with his production for the other team.

 

                And now to the Buccan game… The Raiders came all the way across the country to find a game with the other Pirates of the NFL. After the coin flip the two Quarterbacks came to the middle of the field for a duel, a swashbuckling, full sword play, lots of thrusts and perry. When the final gun sounded the there was no outcome, neither team had an advantage, so both teams headed out for an overtime fight.

Final Score the Raiders 30 the Tampa Bay 24. When asked, Jameis Winston said “Well we tried, but we lost the Buccan game…”

 

                This next game has been a classic matchup in the playoffs the last couple of years. The Carolina Panthers and the Arizona Cardinals was supposed to deliver a playoff atmosphere. But when the Panther Jumped out to a 24 point lead the game became very nap worthy. The balanced attack of the winged force showed up, 46 passes to 10 rushes.

Final Score the Cardinals 20 the Panthers 30. That is the kind of balance that allows other birds to fly, like Emu’s and ostrich’s…

 

                Welcome to the J J Watts show. This week, J J is going to have some fun showing videos of how he shows up at children’s homes and tells them how they ate all their Halloween candy. In the Cooking segment J J will show everyone how to start getting ready for the next holiday meal with Recipe ideas for your Christmas table. In the crafting segments J J will play his guitar and sing holiday songs.

Final score the Lions 13 the Texans 20. Hey does anyone on the crew know any Thanksgiving songs? Okay go ahead Jimmie, No I don’t think “I clubbed grandma with a turkey leg” inspires a lot of happy Thanksgiving moments…

 

                This AFC west battle was a fight for 3^rd place. This battle goes back to the old AFL days, as both teams were charter members of the AFL in 1960. While the Chargers played in Los Angeles in 1960, there wasn’t enough support for football in that town so they moved. (Sometimes history seem familiar) This rivalry has been played for 56 years, and they have played 115 games with one game in the playoffs. Before this game the stats were Denver 63 San Diego 50 with one tie.

Final Score the Chargers 19 the Bronco’s 27. So yes that means the now it is 64-50-1 in favor of Denver, nice use of math there Jimmie.

 

                Up next we find the Green Bay Packers heading to Atlanta for a Halloween party at the Falldowns house. So after bobbing for apples, and a few Dances to the Monster Mash. They played some Halloween Twister, and had the first round of the thriller line dancing contest. In the finals the Aaron Rogers gave a performance and the crowd was less then kind. But Matt Ryan came out and snapped his fingers and side stepped down the field until his final pass to Mohamed Sanu in the back of the endzone finally ended the Packers chances.

Final Score the Packers 32 the Falldowns 33… yes that Ghost Piñata was pretty cool!!!

 

                Next up with the election coming up there was a final push to make the cowgirls great again. Dak Prescott, had a debate with Carson Wince. Shortly after the half way point results came in showed the Wince team was leading the debate, by a 2 to 1 margin. But with just a few minutes to go, Dak was able to gain ground and tie the debate. So the moderators Al Michaels and Chris Collinsworth declared a bonus round, then about half way through Dak made a point to make him the winner.

Final Score the Beagles 23 the Cowgirls 29. This movement is picking up more speed than prune juice through a toddler.

 

                And finally the Monday night game, a game fitting for Halloween. This was a scary affair, because in reality this was called football, and not some mistake. Some people showed up to this debacle hoping to find any luck as the Cubs trailed the Indians from Cleveland 3 games to 1. This game was the turning point in the World Series as Chicago went on a three game winning streak.

Final Score the Viqueens 10 the Bears 20. And the Cubs win the Pennant, the Cubs win the Pennant, the Cubs win the Pennant...

 

Well that will do it for us this week… Jimmie do you have anything? Gloria?

Ah yes Gloria please proceed.

This week’s Birth Canal team of the week is…

The Minnesota Viqueens. Jimmie would you like to do the cheer? We didn’t think so…

   And remember like we always say…

 

It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking
In the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops
Your heart
You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before
You make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between
The eyes
You're paralyzed

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to
Strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer
Thriller tonight

You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere
Left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see
The sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just
Imagination
But all the while you hear the creature creepin' up
Behind
You're out of time

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with
Forty eyes
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer
Thriller tonight

Night creatures call
And the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escapin' the jaws of the alien this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of your life

They're out to get you; there's demons closing in on
Every side
They will possess you unless you change the number on
Your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close
Together
All through the night I'll save you from the terrors on
The screen
I'll make you see

That it's a thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost
Would ever dare try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller
Chiller
Thriller here tonight

That it's a thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost
Would ever dare try
Girl, this is thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, diller

Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'awl's neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell

The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller