Stroll Down the NFL Boulevard Week 7 2016

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 7 2016

 

Well, week 7 is in the books and we have nothing left to do but talk about the week that was. So we shall start where we always start, Gloria, let’s start with who is bye this week. Carolina, will not lose this week as they are trying to figure out what happened in the first 6 weeks of the season. And Dak Prescott is hiding from the questions of whether this is his team of Toni Romo’s, while the cowgirls are off. Thanks Gloria. Jimmie are you ready? Then Expo, my man, please Kick it like only you can.

 

                First up on Thursday night we find the embattled Chicago Bears heading to Green Bay to play the Packers. This is just another plea to the NFL to STOP trying to entice sales with the Color wash uniforms. They look like they were designed by a special education class. No one could come up with this many Fashion Faux pas if they tried. Back to the game. Bears Quarterback Bryan Hoyer left the game with a broken arm, however we have concluded that his play before this injury reminded us of someone playing with a broken arm.

Final Score Da Bears 10 the Packers 26. Okay so the Cubs are in the World Series shouldn’t we just give Da bears a break? What is that Jimmie? Well right, the Cubs weren’t in the World Series last year…

 

                The next game couldn’t be contained in the United States, they had to play it in London. So the only thing we can think of is that the NFL is trying to expand to London. Maybe the Ewes would like to go over there. At least then Jeff Fisher would not have to explain why they moved up in the draft to take a guy with the first pick, then set him on the bench while the other guy throws 4 interceptions. On second thought coach Fisher you don’t have to explain it to us. You can just explain it in your next job interview, and also remember the phrase, “Do you want fries with that?”

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 17 the Ewes 10. After the game Ellie’s phone rang an unusual ring tone. The voice on the other end sounded like a candidate for president, “Now Look, I think that it is fantastic that you are trying to make the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS great again, but use my name when you are in this country, not in that smelly old England, Okay”

 

                So here we are in the battle of Ohio. This little area, is quite the battleground in more than just football, the presidential candidates are crisscrossing the state trying to outdo the other. During the game, a young child asked his mother why was the orange man fighting that stripe haired lady? “Well the mother replied, every time an ad is played an independent voter dies.” “How long will it take for the independent voters to die?” he inquired. His mom replied “They will all be dead on November 9^th dear. Or they will have moved out of the country.”

Final score the Brownstains 17 the Bengals 34. Finally the Bengals have found someone they can beat.

 

                Here we go again with a game for third place. In both the NFC north and east. As Washington came to Detroit, they tested the drinking water, toured a couple of empty auto plants, checked some of the soup kitchens, and had a rally to tout how wonderful the current policies were doing for this fair city. Then watched as Lion Quarterback Matthew Stafford threw a pass to Anquan Boldin for a touchdown with 16 seconds to go in the game.

Final Score the Deadskins 17 the Lions 20. So at least someone in Washington did something nice for the people of Detroit. They let them win the game.

 

Before the next game Colts Head Coach Chuck Pagano was asked what his team needed to secure a victory over the Titans, He replied “With a little Luck, we can clear it up. We can bring it in for a landing. With a little Luck we can turn it on, there can be no misunderstanding.” The crowd of reports were silent, and then Chuck said “Thanks.”

Final Score the Colts 34 the Titans 26. Well the Colts had a little luck, to the tune of 27 of 39, for 353 yards. Not bad for a little luck?

 

                Just so you know, there are a few things that a team can rarely come back from. 1. Falling behind 14 points counts as something a team would have a hard time coming back from.  2. If you are the Aints you can be assured that #1 in in effect a lot. So down 21 to 7 at halftime means that if you are the Aints, well let’s just say…

Final Score the Aints 21 the Chiefs 27. We try to be a gentle as a corncob in an outhouse on a cool December morning in Montana.

 

                Just when we think that the Buffalo Bills are going to do something and fight their way back into the good graces of the football gods, this happens. We shall set the scene. You are on the one yard line, about to score, there are only 14 seconds to play in the game, and the crowd is only calling for one person. The Cheers are getting so loud that they can be heard in Cuba. REG GIE REG GIE REG GIE!!! So the Buffalo head coach Rex “the toe licker” Ryan sends in the man that the crowd is demanding! Reggie bush trots on the field takes the ball and runs it in for the touchdown. And the Bills win the game right? NO. They were down 28 to 17.

Final score the Bills 25 the dOlphins 28. The line for REG GIE Bush looks pretty respectable today. 1 carry for 1 yard, and 1 touchdown. 5 seconds played. It is all about the production.

 

                So now the countdown begins, we will keep a watchful eye on the northeast, and maybe just maybe the Ravens will win again. But this week it didn’t happen. This team might lose on their bye week. In a game of two halves the Ravens came out at the start of the game and put up 10 point quickly. Then waited. At the end of the second Quarter, they kicked a field goal to go head 16 to 14. They don’t know what happened in the second half as they stayed in the locker the rest of the time. The New York Jets were able to score 10 points with no one playing defense against them. Wonderful…

Final Score the Ravens 16 the J E T S jets jets jets 24. This is just sad.

 

                If a homecoming of sorts Slinging Sammy Bradford headed into the Friendly confines of the stadium in the city of brotherly shove. This was his town not too long ago, his fans and he was going to make them forget the new kid on the block. But an interception, 2 fumbles, and 6 sacks made the crowd remember why he was booed out of town, he sucks.

Final Score the Viqueens 10 the Beagles 21. Hey Jimmie no cheer for you today!!!

 

                Sometimes there just aren’t enough words in the dictionary to describe the game. Sometimes there are too many.

Final Score the Raiders 33 the Jags 16. Jimmie did you see any of this game? What you bought it on Pay per view? Hell it wasn’t even on the Sunday Ticket.

 

                In a game that pits the team that finds a new way to lose each week, against a team that just falls down, Gloria, what do you think happened? No Both teams did not lose the game. But apparently falling down was easier to do. Lots of things in this game did not make sense to us. Most of all why is Dan Quinn a head coach?

Final score the Chargers 33 the Falldowns 30. So if your team was ahead 27 to 10 you are now in overtime, and on fourth down you can’t pick up a yard from your own 45 yard line, then you should be fired or quit.

 

                So The Buccaneers went to find the San Francisco Treat. That treat is Crab legs. And who has the prettiest crab legs ever? That’s right Colin Kaepernick. Old Mr. kneel for the anthem is playing now, and his line shows that he should be standing up. 16 or 34 for 143 yards is not what the hometown was looking for. We can only imagine, that the interception, 4 sacks and 1 fumble lost wasn’t what they were looking for either.

Final Score the Buccaneers 34 the 49ers 17. Gloria do you have the Statics for us. So the population in Tampa Bay is about 358,000 and the average number of murders in Tampa Bay is roughly 5.79 per 100,000 per year. So the protest here seems a little off.

 

                So a true test this was not. But ole Tom Terrific did play against what some would say is better competition. The on again off again Pittsburg Steelers were off again this week. Big Ben Roethlisberger is out with an injury and is being nursed back to health by a dozen or so Junior high School candy stripers. So with Ben down this game of the century turned into a game of just another week. And if it is just another game, then Phil Sims could tell us all about how great the Patriots play.

Final score the Patriots 27 the Steelers 16. “Did you see that Jim? Tom Brady took the ball in his right hand, his right hand mind you, then threw it almost 4 yards down field to Julian Edelman. For a 6 yard pick up. Did you see it did you see it?”

 

                On Sunday night we had what could best be described as the game of the week. A tough NFC west battle between the Rough Seattle Shehawks and the Ari-Freaking-Zona Cardinals. This game could have gone on forever, and it practically did. 60 minutes could not contain this juggernaut of a game, we had to have an extra 15 for and still we had nothing more than 4 field goals total.

Final Score the Shehawks 6 the Cardinals 6. This was the closest that the American football will ever be to European football. It was a lot like the Twilight (Vampire) movies Lots of people running around, not a lot of people scoring.

 

                And now straight from a remote location, it is the J J Watt Show with your Host J J Watt!!! On todays show J J will explain why he was gone for a couple of weeks and why he is back. What he has been up to in Rehab. JJ will share a couple of recipes for that Halloween party that will surely amaze, he has a couple of quick and easy costumes to share for kids for 8 to 80. And later he will show some old home movies of his time trick or treating in Pewaukee WI.

Final Score the Texans 9 the Bronco’s 27. Finally Jimmie, get the Damn DVR set, if we miss little J J in a Yoda Costume I am going to be so pissed…

 

Well that will do it for us, Jimmie do you have your assignments for this week?

Gloria, do you have anything else? Ah Yes, well you can do the honors.

This week we have the rare double for you. This week’s Birth canal Teams are the…

Seattle Shehawks and the Arizona Cardinals.

Awe look Peyton Manning is passing out both trophies to the winners or losers as it were.

And Remember Like we always say…

 

With a little luck, we can help it out.
We can make this whole damn thing work out.
With a little love, we can lay it down.
Can't you feel the town exploding?
There is no end to what we can do together.
There is no end, there is no end.
The wiliow turns his back on inclement weather;
And if he can do it, we can do it, just me and you,

And a little luck, we can clear it up.
We can bring it in for a landing,
With a little luck, we can turn it on.
There can be no misunderstanding.

There is no end to what we can do together.
There is no end, there is no end.
The willow turns his back on inclement weather;
We can do it, just me and you.

With a little push, we could set it off.
We can send it rocketing skywards.
With a little love, we could shake it up.
Don't you feel the comet exploding?

With a little luck.
With a little luck.
With a little luck, a little luck, a little luck.
With a little luck.
With a little luck.
With a little luck, a little luck, a little luck.