Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 5 2016

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 5 2016

 

                Well we let week 5 sneak right up on us, and here it is. It has been a busy week on the stroll this week, with travel, contests, and visitations. Projects ending and new projects beginning. But the one thing we can’t forget is to pass along the information that you need about this past week. So let’s get started. Gloria was everyone playing this week?  The Shehawks stayed home and worked on their homecoming day floats. Kansas City was also home trying to find the DNA of Len Dawson to clone a new Quarterback. Jacksonville decided to ride out the Hurricane. And lastly the Aints of New Orleans spent the week putting up Halloween decorations in the French quarter. Thanks Gloria, well Jimmie if you are ready then we can do this. Expo if you please Kick It!!!

 

                First up on Thursday the Nationally televised game to a third of the nation featured two teams with 1- 3 records. Do you think that the NFL loves it when they have such a premium match up on their network? Or do they thank that lucky stars that only a third of the country can see it. Either way this game proved once again, that a fight for last place in the NFC west is about as appealing as listening to your neighbor’s home alarm going off because she forgot the password to disable it.  

Final Score the Cardinals 33 the 49ers 21. Blaine Gabbert goes down in defeat again. We guess that San Fran has no other option at Quarterback.

 

                First up on Sunday, can we all just tap the brakes a little bit? We all knew that Tom Terrific was going to play well when he came back from the deflated balls syndrome. But do we have to talk about how great and wonderful he was in this game? Granted he did go 28 of 40 for 406 yards and 3 touchdowns and no interceptions, but he was playing against what would best be described as a school yard of 6 year olds trying to cover his guys…

Final Score the Brownstains 13 the Pats 33. Only question now is when will the Brownstains score more points than their opponents?

 

                Next are we looking at the demise of the Carson Wentz? Right now there only 2 quarterbacks in the NFL that have lost to Detroit, and Wentz is one of them. So we have to ask the question when 2 touchdowns and 3 field goals beats 3 touchdowns and one field goal.

Final Score the Beagles 23 the Detroit 24. Jimmie, want to give us the answer? Yep that is right, never.

 

                Well we have finally found it. We have found the combination where the Colts win. They must play in the USA and play the Bears. Andrew the Good Luck was 28 of 39 for 322 yards 2 touchdowns. Now that is some good luck. The Bears are still getting their own pic-i-nic baskets stolen. Very sad.

Final Score Da Bears 23 the Colts 29. Soon De bears will be asleep and this season will seem like a bad dream.

 

                Well Tennessee headed to south Florida to see what was happening after Hurricane Matthew blew in. They found some trees down, and some store fronts boarded up, but no real damage. They did however find the Olphins D still in shambles. It looks like the Olphins have found the best thing for their Quarterback to do, not throw the ball. Ole Ryan “Tan his hide” Tannehill was near perfect for the day, but then the opening kickoff happened and his day went downhill. He was 12 of 18 with 2 interceptions and 6 sacks. Which in laymen’s terms mean that every 4th time he dropped back he would have been better off just taking a knee, less pain that way.

Final Score the Titans 30 the Olphins 17. Well the hurricane couldn’t help the Olphins win, what will the football gods come up next to help them?

 

                Well you know what time it is??? Yep it’s the J J Watts show, this week Guest host Slingin Sammy Bradford will invite our cameras into his home in Minnesota, to show off his fall décor, complete with a traditional Oklahoma Sooner schooner.  He will show everyone his Indian cuisine, (feather not dot) for Halloween. What treats he makes for the parents, and the kids. At the end of the show Bradford talks about his trails has an NFL quarterback and moving from team to team trying to find a home, he relates his story to his ancestors nomadic past.

Final Score the Texans 13 the Viqueens 31. Okay Jimmie, I can’t believe we are doing the cheer during the J J watt show but go ahead. Viqueens Win, Viqueens Win, Viqueens Win!!!

 

                Next up since we are about the positives we will give you some positives about the J E T S jets jets jets traveling to Pittsburg to take on the Steelers. Positive 1 Jets Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick didn’t throw an interception. Positive 2 Jets Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick didn’t fumble the ball. Positive 3 Jets Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick didn’t win the game.

Final Score the J E T S jets jets jets 13 The Steelers 31. Something had to be positive for Pittsburg right?

 

                We have said it time and time again. This game is 4 quarters. Not 2 quarters. We wondered what would happen after week three when the teams the Baltimore beat to get to undefeated had only one 1 game, those teams are still at 1 win and Baltimore has not won a game since.

Final score the Deadskins 16 the Ravens 10. Come on offense you accounted for 3 points, aren’t you ashamed of yourself.

 

                Sometimes there is nothing left to do but dance. Atlanta Head coach Dan Quinn decided to break out the old dirty bird dance after his team scored 10 points in the first quarter. After the game he was asked why he did the dance between the first and the second quarters he replied “I wasn’t sure we could hold on in this air up here. But luckily the Falcons can fly high. And that is what we did. Also we were winning so a celebration seemed appropriate.”

Final Score the Falldowns 23 the Bronco’s 16. No cameras caught the funky dance moves but Jimmie was present and caught something on his cell phone. Let’s see it. Jimmie this looks like you and Expo playing catch in my backyard.

 

                We know that there are a lot of people wanting to know what we think about this whole Dak Prescott thing. So let us chime in. 1 Dak Prescott is playing real well, not making mistakes, no interceptions so far, only one fumble. 2 Ezekiel Elliot is leading the league in rushing. 3 If Toni Romo were playing quarterback right now the cowgirls would be 4 – 1 because this is his team and he runs the show, he calls the plays and he favors a pass play over a run play every time. 4 when you have #3 then you don’t have number 2. If Toni is the Quarterback calling his number then the running back doesn’t get the carries he needs to be the leading rusher. If he is not the leading rusher, then the defense gets exposed and gives up more points, which mean that Toni has to throw the ball more, and nobody want that.

Final Score the Bengals 14 the Cowgirls 28. So this Circle of life thing is really a good thing, right Jimmie?

 

                We could think of lots of reasons to lose a football game. But San Diego is taking this to an art form. So let’s take you to the fourth quarter with just a few seconds left. They line up to kick the game tying field goal. This should be Snap the ball, hold the ball, Kick the ball. It happens like this all the time, practice before the game, practice on the sidelines, in the games. Then we get to the pressure time of fourth quarter and Classy San Diego decided to go with Snap the ball, Drop the ball, Fumble the ball, jump up, run like your hair is on fire, get tackled. Turn the ball over, game over.  

Final Score the Chargers 31 the Raiders 34. Another fourth quarter, fart and fall down moment for the Super Chargers…

 

                Well October is the time for homecoming. This game was a real homecoming for the greatest running back in the history of the NFL. So there he was standing on the sidelines with a huge homecoming mum, with the Red and Blue streamers, with his the little gold Footballs, and a megaphone, little shoes, helmets, and Streamers with his name, REG GIE BUSH, waiting for his chance to get on the field. The crowd started the chant REG GIE REG GIE!!! And out on the field he went. He carried the ball once picked up 3 yards, handed the ball to the ref, ran back to the sidelines, took off his helmet, put is flower back on and sat on the bench, got a drink of Gatorade.

Final score the Bills 30 the Ewes 19. Yep that is one carry for 3 yards!!! He is back!!!

 

                So for the Sunday night game we find that the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS went to Green Bay for a little tilt with the Packers. We have said it before but kicking a field goal is not as good as scoring a touchdown. So the best way to describe this game is GB touchdown, NYFG field goal, GB touchdown NYFG field goal, GB field goal, NYFG Field goal. Then GB field goal, GB field goal, and NYFG touchdown finally.

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 16 the Packers 23. After the game in the GIANT locker room Ellie’s phone began to ring. He answered the unidentified number with a meek “Hello?” The voice on the other end of line said “Hello, do you have trouble crossing the goal line and making your dreams come true? Well we have something for you. It’s a tape of Peyton Manning throwing touchdown passes. You are being offered this gift bye one Archie Manning, who added this personnel note. “Quit ruining the family name, learn how to complete a Damn touchdown pass.” Press one to accept the gift, Press 2 to cancel.”

 

                And Lastly on Monday night we find two teams that are fighting it out for last place. Nothing like a matchup of two last place to bring out the best in Jon Gruden. Well really could anything bring out the best in Jon Gruden? And what would the best of Jon Gruden sound like? Would he praise this game as the best game that was ever aired on Monday night in October? Maybe...

Final Score the Bucs 17 the Panthers 14. Well a close game of two 1 win teams so someone had to win right?

 

Well that will do it for us again this week.

Gloria are you ready? Then it is your turn…

This week’s Birth canal team of the week goes to…

The Baltimore Ravens. Congratulations Peyton Manning will now present the trophy…

And remember like we always say…

 

If you could see my mind, if you really look deep, then maybe you'll find
That somewhere there will be a place, hidden behind my comedian face
You will find somewhere there's a house, and inside that house there's a room
Locked in the room in the corner you see

A voice is waiting for me, to set it free, I got the key, I got the key
Voices, I hear voices

In my head the voice is waiting, waiting for me to set it free
I locked it inside my imagination, but I'm the one who's got the combination
Some people didn't like what the voice did say

So I took the voice and I locked it away, I got the key, I got the key
Voices, I hear voices, voices, I hear voices
Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said
Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on