Stroll down the NFL Boulevard week 17 2015

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 17

2015

 

I’m so glad we had this time together, just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started and before you know it comes the time we have to say good bye. That is right it is time to say good bye to 20 Teams. It is time for them to go back to the drawing board. Time for them to start anew. So Expo, if you don’t mind, Kick it one more Regular Season time please!!!

 

                Well here we are again. Some teams go scratching and Clawing their way into the night. Other do it with a small amount of fuss. These two will do it with nothing on the line. Atlanta looked to have something good going at the start of the year. Starting 6-0 usually means you are pretty good. Finishing the year 2 and 8 means you really aren’t.

Final Score the Taints 20 the Falldowns 17. Back to the drawing board for these two. It will be a long and winding road back to the playoffs, maybe next year the Taints will kick more taint than this year.

 

                Well the toe licker had the chance to spoil his former team this week. And he did just that. That bad taste in the mouth of the NEW YORK FOOTBALL JETS is just what you thought it was. Yep it was “Toe Jam Football” he roller coastered, he Muddy’d the waters of the AFC playoff picture. After the Rex Ryan was asked for a quote “So what we need to do right now is Come Together over me.”

Final score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL JETS 17 the Bill 22. This is no Forrest Gumbel. But if you hold him in your armchair you can feel his disease.

 

                In a tough NFC North battle, for Last place the Paper Lions went a calling to Da Bears. Matt Stafford Lions QB was asked “If you weren’t an NFL Quarterback what would you be doing?” Well in the darkened Locker room it was hard for him to see who asked the question, but he answered “Dear sir or madam, can you read my book, it took me years to write, can you take a look. It’s based on a novel by a man named Lear.”  28 of 39 for 298 yards and 3 touchdowns, means his job is probably secure until next year.

Final score the Lions 24 Da Bears 20.  Later he said that he had always wanted to be a Paperback Writer.

 

                As we move to the AFC south we find the Ravens in a fight for their life with a Bengal. Raven Head Coach John Harbaugh was asked what he told his team before the game. He responded “What I tell them every week. I look them in the eye and say Black birds singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. Black bird singing in the dead of night, taken the sunken eyes and learn to see. Black bird fly into the light of a dark black night.”

Final Score the Ravens 16 the Bengal 24. We can only guess that they were waiting for this moment to arise.

 

                When Cleveland and the Pittsburg play a game it is sometimes magical. And sometimes the unusual happens, but this was set up when the season started so here is what happened. There is a high school newspaper that gained access to the press room after the game and when Ben Roethlisberger reached the podium a young High school girl stood and asked Big Ben a question. “Do you like girls with long hair or short hair?” while the room giggled Big Ben responded “I want a short haired girl who sometimes wears it twice as long. Now I’m stepping out of this old brown shoe, baby, I’m in love with you. I’m so glad you came here it won’t be the same now I telling you.”  Big Ben Really??

Final Score the Steeler 28 the Brown shoe 12. No JAF this week, he spent is concussion protocol Saturday night in a darkened club in Vegas, just what his aching brain needed.

 

                Up next the Washington Deadskins went to Arlington to play the Cowgirls. Kellen Moore is the Cowgirls QB de Jour was asked if he thought he did anything wrong during the game. He responded “Well it really doesn’t matter if I am wrong, I’m right. Where I belong I’m right, where I belong. See the people standing there who disagree and never win and wonder why they don’t get past my door. I’m just fixing a hole where the rain comes in and stops my mind from wondering.”

Final Score the Deadskins 34 the Cowgirls 23. The Deadskins are in the playoffs, worst to first.

 

                Next we head to the AFC South for a battle of Titans and Colts. Colts Head coach Chuck Pagano’s head was on the chopping block. But he got a pardon from President, of personnel Dan Emerson. When asked how he made it through to next year. To which Chuck replied “What would you do if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me? I get by with a little help from my friends.”

Final Score the Titans 24 the Colts 30. 4 year contract extension for good ole Chuck.

 

                Up next we find the other match up in the AFC East. This game was over and Good ole Tom Brady was getting off the plane when a reporter caught him and asked where their flight was coming in from. Tom replied “Flew in from Miami Beach B O A C. Didn’t get to bed last night. On the way the paper bag was on my knee Ma’am I had a dreadful flight.” Yes it was a dreadful game. Well a boy named Suh rolled up on ole Tom’s legs and put him out of the game.

Final Score the Pats 10 the Olphins 20. Well thanks go to the Olphins Defense that decided to show up in week 17. Thanks for being the epitome of too little too late.

 

                Up next the Last game of the NFC Least. With Philadelphia’s Head Coach already gone the Next head on the block was going to be Tom Cough it up Coughlin. But Tom decided to retire before he got his head lopped off. He was asked if he was forced out, and he answered “You say Yes I say no. You say stop and I say Go. Go. Go. You say goodbye and I say Hello, Retirement.” DeMarco Maurry was so excited to see Chip Kelly gone that he rushed for 69 yards on 12 carries. But he had one carry of 54 yards so 11 for 15 is about where his production has been all year.

Final Score the Beagles 35 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 30. After the game Ellie got to his locker and a reporter asked him what he could do for next year. Ellie thought for a minute and then replied “There’s nothing you can that can’t be done. There is nothing you can sing that can’t be sung. There’s nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. It’s Easy. All you need is Love from a parent.”

 

                Welcome to the J J Watt show. This week’s show is going to be a little different. This week the J J show is going to have a benefit show with all the proceeds going to the Houston’s Mr. Kite foundation for homeless. Take it away J J “For the benefit of Mr. Kite there will be a show tonight on trampoline. Pablo Fanques fair will be here, what a scene. Men and horses, hoops and garters and lastly a hogshead of fire. So come on back because a splendid time is guaranteed for all.”

Final Score the Jags 6 the Texans 30. Expo, get over here… we are watching this one live. We think that Mr. Henderson is going to do 10 Summersaults…

 

                Now we will tell you about the AFC West as the San Diego Super Stupid Chargers head east to the hilltop that is Denver and their backup Quarterback Peyton Manning. Phillip Rivers did his best in the game going 21 of 35 for 228 yards with 2 touchdowns. But his team still ended the season with a 4 – 12 record. A reporter asked Philip Rivers what this team needed to get back to their winning ways. He replied “Well I think what we need is a new team Doctor and I have the perfect one. “Ring, my friend said you’d call Doctor Robert. Day or Night he’ll be there any time Doctor Robert. You’re a new and better man. He helps you to understand. He does everything he can. Doctor Robert.

Final score the Chargers 20 the Bronco 27. After the game as Peyton got to his locker and found his phone ringing. When he answered he heard this: “Boy You’re going to carry that weight, Carry that weight a long time. I never give you my Pillow I only send you my invitations. And In the middle of the celebrations I break down.” The phone went silent.

 

                While out on the field for the last game of the year Oakland Raiders Quarterback Derek Carr was asked if he would rather be playing at home or not. “Well, when we got on the plane Kicker Sebastian Janikowski asked “Where we is going?” he said it that way because of his accent. I told him: Ah Kansas City, Going to get my baby back Home. I’m going to Kansas City Going to get my baby back home. Well it’s a long long time since my baby’s been gone. “

Final Score the Raiders 17 the Chiefs 23. After the game a female sideline reporter asked Kansas City Head Coach Andy Reid how it felt to be back in the playoffs. He Replied: “Hey Hey Hey Hey, Hey Baby. Ohh now girl, I said yeah now baby, huh, Now now now now baby, tell me baby what’s been wrong with you.” Confused she walked away.

 

                Up next we find a battle of Birds in the dessert. The Shehawks traveled south to find the Cardinals on the battle field that is University of Phoenix Stadium. Before the game, Russell Wilson Seattle Quarterback, was asked how he felt playing for team with a bird mascot against a team with a bird mascot in a stadium with a bird name? He responded thusly “Well it makes me feel free as a bird, it is the next best thing to be free as a bird.” The reporter asked “Then does when does the game mean the most?” He answered “Where did we lose the touch that seemed to mean to so much? It always made me feel so, Free as a bird.” Well sometimes these pregame interviews that don’t reveal much.

Final Score the Shehawks 36 the Cardinals 6. After the game Arizona backup quarterback Drew Stanton was asked how it felt to have their ticket punched to the playoffs last week. He said. “Well I think I am going to be sad, I think it’s today, Yeah. The Girl that’s driving me mad is going away. She’s got a ticket to ride but she don’t care.”

 

                In the Last of the NFC West game this week we find the St Louis Ewes going to California for a little San Francisco treat. San Francisco head coach Jim Tomsula was asked how many games can he win now that he has have everyone on the same page. “Well one, two, three, four can I have a little more. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten I love you! A, B, C, D, Can I bring my Friend to tea? E, F, G, H, I, I love you.” We aren’t sure what this means.

Final Score the Ewes 16 the 49er 19. But we do know that Jim Tomsula is now looking for a job as he was fired after this interview. All together now. Bom Bom Bom!!!

 

                The Last game of the Day games featured the Tampa Bay versus the Carolina. After the game Jameis Winston and Cam Newton meet at the middle of the field and had a small conversation. In the locker room after the game a reporter asked Jameis Winston what he and Cam Newton discussed at midfield. Jameis responded “Well, Me and Cam go way back. We have known each other for a long time. He even calls me Jojo. He told me some things that I needed to work on during the offseason.” The report asked what kind of things?  Winston replied “Well he said, Jojo was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it wouldn’t last, Jojo Left his home in Tucson Arizona and bought some California Grass. (I did buy some California grass but it was from my back yard, not that smoking kind) Then he said Get Back, Jojo.”

Final Score the Tampa Bay 10 the Carolina 38. Winston went on to say “Well I call him Loretta. And I told him to Get Back Loretta! Then we laughed and I came to the locker room and I am talking to you now.

 

                And finally the Last game of the regular Season. The Final game that would mean something to the playoff picture. And here is what we have. The Viqueens and the Packers for the NFC North Division and a home playoff game. Aaron Rogers just didn’t look himself. After the game a female reporter walked with him up the tunnel and asked how he was feeling. He replied. “I’m so tired. I haven’t slept a wink. I’m so tired, my mind is on the blink. I wonder if I should get and fix myself a drink. I wonder if I should call you but I know what you would do. You’d say I’m putting you on, but it’s no joke It’s doing me harm. You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain. It’s been three weeks and I’m going insane.

Final Score the Viqueens 20 the Packers 13. Well if Rogers doesn’t win next week he will be insane.

 

Well that will do it for us for the year!!!

We still have the playoffs to go but…

Remember like we always say…

 

Oh yeah, all right
Are you gonna be in my dreams tonight?

Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you
Love you, love you

And in the end, the love you take
Is equal to the love you make