Stroll down the NFL Boulevrd week 15 2015

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 15

2015

Finally the math is starting to add up for some of these teams, and we are able to see that playoff picture a little better. Oh it is still as foggy as Pea soup but we are beginning to see a little clearer now. It is almost as if the rain is gone. We can see all obstacles in our way. So if the pot is right Expo you can wheel them around and kick one more time!!!

 

                First up on Thursday, Just like the NFL doesn’t want you to see the moving Concussion, they apparently don’t want you to watch the Thursday night game. This week the color rush uniforms had Ketchup going to visit Mustard. While Ketchup was fighting for its playoff lives Mustard was having nothing of it. After the game Mustard said “The Ketchup has always been the more uppity Condiment, and it was good that we took them down a peg or two. Mustard covers ketchup everyday of the week and twice on Thursday, we are great for Hamburgers, Potato salad, those tiny little sandwiches that people put on those little Yeast roll to make them “Fancy”. Face it Ketchup is just condiment to the Superiority of Mustard.

Final Score Ketchup 23 Mustard 31. This game might have played better at Heinz Field. After the Game the Head coach of the losing team had this to say. We let the mustard run away from us and we just couldn’t catch up.

 

                Next up the rare game on Saturday as the NEW YORK FOOTBALL JETS came to the stadium know far and wide as the Death Star. AT&T Stadium in Arlington Texas. With the Cowgirls on the fringe of making the playoffs they started Matt Cassel again, and the season came down to this game. Old Red Top Jason while in the locker room drew a line on the ground, and in an impassioned speech made the statement for all the players who were with him to cross that line, stand with him and fight for the Star on their helmet, the pride in the organization, and their love of the game.

Final score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL JETS 19 the Cowgirls 16. Matt Cassel showed the world his desire to fight as on one play, he took the snap pump faked to the left, turned to the right, tripped over a blade of artificial grass, nearly fell down. Gained his balance and threw the ball down the right hand side of the field to NEW YORK FOOTBALL JET Corner Darrell Revis. Oh wait there is a flag down on the field. Intentional grounding is the call. Dallas is the only team to throw the ball so poorly they didn’t even have a receiver on that side of the field when Cassel threw it. (SMH)

 

                It is time the J J Watt show. This week Jason is going to show us How to make is outrageous Pecan and sugar snap Pea recipe, and in crafts he will show all the kids how to track Santa Claus on the weather app he sponsors. And in a touching interview J J will talk to Former Cleveland and Dallas castoff Brandon Weeden who led the Houston Texans to a win and first place in the AFC south. Brandon will talk about his time with both losing clubs and how good it feels to be on a winning team, even if it is only 7-7. He is also going to show J J how to take the snap from under center with a broken hand in case the Texans have to use their 4^th string Quarterback.

Final Score the Texans 16 the Dolts 10. Indianapolis has no luck again.

 

                Up next there were lots of things missing in Minnesota, the Bears were missing for sure, but Tackling was missing from the Bears, as well as Blocking, Scoring and overall effort. Teddy Boy Bridgewater had 5 touchdowns and it was like he was either greased up with butter, or the Bears Just didn’t account for him on the field.

Final Score the Bears 17 the Viqueens 38. Expo are you ready to do the cheer?? Viqueens win, Viqueens win, Yay the Viqueens wins…

 

                At this point of the season if your team has one less loss than the other team has wins, you are probably going to be in trouble. If your win total for the season is just a little bit better than there loss total, you are probably in trouble. If you are playing the evil empire, then you are probably in trouble.

Final Score the Titans 16 the Patriots 33. Just another day at the office for Tom Terrific.

 

                Well the time has come to call someone out. Odell Becham Jr, you are a punk. You are a classless individual with no respect for other players in the league. If we were on the competition committee the whole stepping over (or Walking over someone on the ground) would be grounds for a 15 yard penalty. It would be considered a continuation play so if you happen to score, we will head back to the line to the line of scrimmage, back it up 15 yards, and incur a loss of down. We counted at least 3 times that you did that. And for that sir you are a Jackwagon of the highest order. Why don’t you get a haircut, and learn some manners.

Final Score the Panthers 38 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 35. After the game Ellie’s phone rang and when he answered it the voice on the other side said “I know you are hurting son, but I believe in you.” This week’s Birth Canal Team of the week is Odell Beckham Jr. There you go.

 

                Up next the Deadskins Cruised past the Bills of Buffalo. With the Score 21 to 0 in middle of the second Quarter, Washington did what people in Washington do. The kind of sat back and looked around at the landscape to see what else they could screw up. Not finding anything they settled for first place in the NFC Least.

Final Score the Bills 27 the Deadskins 35. You can insert your own joke her, it is custom made for a Bills Joke right here. Well maybe we should tell the best joke we know ready? Buffalo Bills.

 

                Somebody break up the Falldowns. Really someone should break up the Falldowns. They are 7 and 7 now after winning their first 5 games, they decided to fall down for the next 7 until they found the Ying to their Yang. The Ping to their Pong. The mouthwash to the bad taste in their mouth. The Elephant to their trunk.

Final Score the Falldowns 23 to the Jacksonville 17. Finally they found the Smile to their Clown of a Season.

 

                Wow so a reporter asked Chief Head coach Andy Reed what he was doing to get his team ready to play each week and Coach Reed said that the PGM was what was getting his team going and keeping his team going and helping his team recover. The Reporter asked if the PGM was a sponsored affair. He replied that it was when they were at home, but on the road it was catch as catch can. They had to kind of forage around the city leaving no stone unturned.

Final Score the Chiefs 34 the Raven 14. Later a different reporter asked What the Hell is a PGM? To which Reed replied “It is simple”. A Pre-Game Meal, then at half time they would snack on the Present Game Meal. Then at the end of the game the Post Game Meal was always a great time to reflect on what each NFL city had to offer.

 

                Hey Expo have you ever wondered what 2 touchdowns, a pick six and 3 field goals get you in Oakland? You are correct sir. Give the man a Darth Vader Helmet and a Luke Skywalker Light sabre.

Final Score the Packers 30 the Raiders 20. Yep a win, that gets you a win almost every time. “Just Suck Baby.

 

                So Johnny Autograph football is burning up the northwest this week. He played like he had a rum and coke on the game. Or at least he was going to get slapped if he didn’t win the game. Luckily for everyone else he got slapped, maybe he has some sense now. But probably not.

Final Score the Brownstains 13 the Shehakws 30. Well the Shehawks made the playoffs again. But they didn’t win the division.

 

                There are times when the possibility of a playoff matchup will show itself this late in the season this game is a possible wildcard match up, and it will be interesting. The Vaunted Bronco defense against the Antonio Brown show how special would that be. Well Mr. Brown, and we say that with upmost respect, Mr. Brown had 16 catches for 189 yards, and 2 touchdowns. We don’t think anyone wants to play Pittsburg in the playoffs.

Final Score the Bronco’s 27 the Steelers 34. After the game Brock got the call he had been waiting for. “Hey Dad, What? Yea we lost the game, but I played pretty good. What is that now? How would I feel if I had a brother playing in the NFL? No dad I don’t want to be Peyton’s brother. Oh not Peyton? I don’t think I want a brother named Ellie dad.”

 

                So how does a 5 and 8 team lose to a 3 and 10 team you ask? Well three things: 1 they traveled across the country to play the game. 2. They are the Miami Olphins. 3. Danny Woodhead scored 4 touchdowns. And if you are going to let Danny Woodhead score 4 touchdowns on you in a game, then you don’t deserve to win. You do deserve to made the girlfriend of your prison Cell mate Named Rufus.

Final Score the Olphins 14 the Chargers 30. Looks like the Chargers are only super against the teams that suck.

 

                In the Battle of Backup quarterbacks our Man AJ McCarron out Dueled Blaine Gabbert. Good ole AJ was 15 of 30 while poor ole Blaine was 30 of 50. If he is dropping back 50 times, then you know he threw it to the other team. Three times as a matter of fact. 3 times…

Final Score the Bengals 24 the 49er 14. This wasn’t as close as the final score would make out. Considering that the 49er scored the final 14 points.

 

                The Sunday night game was a real Bird fight. This was no fight like some bird fights. An interesting bird fight may be a Cardinal against an Eagle, the regal Eagles with very sharp talons fighting the elegance of the Cardinal with its keen ability to escape predators. But this game wasn’t like that.

Final score the Beagles 17 the Cardinals 40. This game was more like a peacock versus an Ostrich. We mean someone was going to stick their head in the ground it might as well have been the Beagles.

 

                Finally the Monday night game was just full of Surprises as the New Orleans got kicked in the Taint again. But the one saving grace was that there was a record to be reached. If we were to tell you that 4 quarterbacks had reached 60,000 yards in passing how many guesses would you need to get the fourth person? Okay let’s, go. No Johnny Unitas didn’t throw for 60,000. But Dan Marino did. That is one. No Phil Simms didn’t, gosh he may not have 60 yards passing let alone 60,000. No Roger Stauback doesn’t have 60,000 and neither does Terry Bradshaw. There is someone you are forgetting… Yes the man who can’t pronounce his own name. Brett Favre. One more? Yes very good Peyton Manning. So who is the fourth?

Final Score the Lions 35 the Taints 27. Yep that is right Drew Bress is number 4. Congrats.

 

Well that will do it for us this week.

And remember like we always say.

 

I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because
I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

I like to see you
But then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you
Don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

I keep your picture
Upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me
To give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time

I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love
I'm not in love