Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 8 2015

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 8

2015

 

                Well week 8 is upon us now, and just like many coaches and NFL experts, we have no idea what is going on. We should probably just get into this week’s results, but before we do, Expo who is bye this week? Okay so Buffalo is off as well as Jacksonville, and the Beagles and Deadskins are both off, but would anyone really know if we didn’t tell you these teams were off? Okay Expo Kick it please!

 

                First up on Thursday we find that Miami Olphins once again played no defense. Or possibly they only play defense when the team they play can’t play offense. But we have learned one thing this season the Patriots don’t care if you play Defense or not. They are going to score like Male lawyer in a women’s prison with a pocket full of pardons.

Finals Score the Olphins 7 the Pats 36. Yep it is another lawyer joke. But do lawyers really have balls?

 

                Up next we have another game in London. Okay is this experiment over yet? And if it isn’t could we send a couple of teams that maybe have more than 3 wins? The Lions Really? Really? Maybe the European Soccer league should send a couple of teams to the US to gather interest in soccer?

Final score the Lions 10 the Chiefs 45. Maybe we could have a soccer match with Shakhtar vs Maccabi Tel Aviv, in say Cleveland? Come on people lets sell this thing out!

 

                Well up next the Buccaneers went to Georgia to play the Falldowns. While there was no fresh crab legs in Georgia Jameis Winston still smoked the Falldowns. He lead the Buc’s to a 20 to 3 lead only to watch his defense pretend that they were from Miami. Matty Ryan tried to come back and did get the game tied.

Final score the Buc’s 23 the Falldowns 20. But Matty Ryan wasn’t enough as this overtime game goes to the Crab leg King!!!

 

                Next game was a tough NFC North game that actually was very nondescript. The Viqueens went to Chicago to Da Bears den. Well Adrian Peterson did have 102 yards on 21 carries, so it was pretty good day for him. If anyone watched this game let us know, it seemed pretty boring.

Final Score the Viqueens 23 Da Bears 20. Well we found the highlights, then fell asleep and when we woke up there was a bowling match on classic ESPN for 1972. Yippee…

 

                Next up we head to Cleveland to find the Ari-Freaking-Zona Cardinals coming to town. The Brownstains looked to be prepared as after a Cardinal touchdown the Brownstains took control of the game, they scored 3 touchdowns, to take a commanding 20 to 7 lead. But then the Brownstain players looked around and thought to themselves, we are the Brownstains.

Final score the Cardinals 34 the Brownstains 20. Yep they said we are the Brownstains we will lose this game like we should.

 

                Next up we head to Saint Louis the home of the Ewes. In this up and down season the Ewes are on we find them this week on the upswing. But who isn’t on the upswing when the 49er is in town. They had just 189 yards of total offense and 11 first downs, with 2 first downs coming on Penalties so really only 9 first downs. And they had 10 punts fantastic. Let’s see what REGGIE BUSH did shall we? Hum no carries and one dropped pass. And he is hurt.

Final score the 49er 6 the Ewes 27. And even though they doubled their points from last week, we have a back to back winner of the Birth Canal team of the week. Hello 49er. Congrats to you.

 

                Next let’s talk about two teams that set records this weekend. Touchdown passes were a plenty in the Super dome. And there was a very famous quarterback there to take in the game. Yep that is right Papa Manning was there to catch the game and watch it all unfold. And in the fourth quarter with the game tied and only 36 seconds The NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS left Ellie threw 3 incomplete passes and punted the ball away.  On the punt New Orleans returned it 24 yards, and got a 15 yard facemask penalty and New Orleans sets up for a game winning field goal.

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 49 the Taints 52. After the game this conversation happened around Ellie’s Locker. “Hey Mom. Yea we are in the locker room. I saw you and dad up in the suite. Are you coming down? Oh great you are here? I don’t see you? What? Dad wanted to go the winning locker room first? Oh he only wanted to go to the winning locker room?”

 

                Up next we head to Pittsburg where the supremacy of the AFC North was decided. But while it is just a few weeks early, it doesn’t look like anyone will catch the Bengals this season unless they just collapse. Big Ben Roethlisberger had a great game in returning to the field with 3 interceptions that were caught by the Bengals, and 3 passes that were missed by the junior high girls in the front row.

  Final score Cincinnati 16 the Steelers 10. Oh and it only seemed fitting that Big Ben came back to play wearing those stupid pinstripe uniforms. He should be in striped shirt or possibly an orange jumpsuit?

 

                Nondescript games happen each week in the NFL. This game was ss nondescript that we aren’t really sure why they even played it. So we feel like we can sum this game in just one word.

Final Score the Chargers 26 the Ravens 29. Yuck.

 

                Welcome to this week’s J J Watt Show!!! This week we are going to have a lot of fun! First we are going to go to the cooking segment where J J is going to show everyone some of his favorite holiday treats. In the Craft segment he will show how us how to make some dolls clothes, Spoiler alert!!! A Pilgrims table scape might on the schedule! And in an emotional segment J J is going to discuss the Prop 1 vote in the latest election in Houston for transgendered bathrooms.

Final Score the Titan 6 the texans 20. The biggest vote for freedom was fought in the bathroom stall at Houston’s NGR stadium this week.

 

                Next up we head to the beautiful Bay area of Oakland. And find that NFL Rule number 2 was in full effect. Rule number 2 say that a team can’t travel across country and win. Expo is Oakland still on the West coast? And is New Jersey still on the wrong coast? Then I think we all know how this one turned out right?

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL JETS 20 The Raiders 34. Okay this game did have one intriguing aspect. Geno Smith returned to play Quarterback for the JETS. You don’t remember him? He was the Quarterback that was hit in the mouth by a Linebacker in the locker room for not showing up to a football camp back in the summer. It broke his Jaw and he was out for like 2 months. But he is Geno Smith, so enough said.

 

                And now the featured matchup of the week, the game everyone was wanting to see. The Fox Sports game of the week. No it wasn’t the World Series match up, no it wasn’t the Superbowl, and no it wasn’t even a rematch of the NFC Championship game from last year. What it ended up being was a field goal contest. But before we get to that, let’s get to the controversial hit that laid out one of the Seattle players. 1. There was nothing violent about that hit, without saying that every hit in the NFL is violent. 2 From the time you are in the 3^rd grade, any coach worth his salt will tell you to keep your head up. DO NOT DUCK YOUR HEAD. (Lockett ducked his head) 3. Seattle fans are the whiniest bitches in the world. If they think that was dirty, then it really is true what they say.

Final Score the Shehawks 13 the Cowgirls 12. There are nothing but women, and men that wear skirts in Seattle. Is that what you hear Expo? Oh did I get that wrong? Did we understand that some women set up a petition to stop having Joe Buck and Troy Aiken not announce their games anymore? Well we have the perfect solution for that, keep Pete Carroll as your coach.

 

                On Sunday night the game everyone was waiting all day for the Denver Bronco’s invited the Green Bay Packers over for some canasta and soft drinks. After a few games, Aaron Rogers tried to pull out his Discount double check forms and check some insurance claims. But Peyton was having nothing of it. But he did have an interesting conversation in the locker room after the game.

Final Score the Packers 10 the Bronco’s 29. “Hey Mom.  I was hoping to talk to dad about the great game the Eli had today. Oh dad isn’t there with you? Are you guys having dinner with him tonight? Oh Dad is still celebrating with the Saints? Eli called and you told him that you weren’t sure when he was going to come home? Well should I have a couple of pizzas sent over to the house you and Eli? No? Okay?”

 

                And finally Monday night. Really we tried to watch the end of the game this week, but John Gruden makes it so bad, that we started a petition to get him off the ESPN broadcast. He is just desecrating the good name of Monday Night Football and all that have come before him. Names like Howard Cosell, Don Meredith, Dan Dumbdorf and the late great Frank Gifford, Alex Karas, (Webster’s Daddy) O.J. Simpson, Dan Fouts, Boomer Esiason, Hell even Dennis Miller was better than this guy. Even “I want to kiss you” drunk ass Joe Namath was better than this guy.

Final Score the Dolts 26 the Panther 29. We even Like Alvaro Martin the ESPN Deportes color coordinator better and we don’t speak Spanish.

 

Well the will do it for us this week.

And like we always say…

 

Friday night I crashed your party
Saturday I said I'm sorry
Sunday came and trashed me out again
I was only having fun
Wasn't hurting any one
And we all enjoyed the weekend for a change

I've been stranded in the combat zone
I walked through Bedford Stuy alone
Even rode my motorcycle in the rain
And you told me not to drive
But I made it home alive
So you said that only proves that I'm insane

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don,t try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

Remember how I found you there
Alone in your electric chair
I told you dirty jokes until you smiled
You were lonely for a man
I said take me as I am
Cause you might enjoy some madness for a while

Now think of all the years you tried to
Find someone to satisfy you
I might be as crazy as you say
If I'm crazy then it's true
That it's all because of you
And you wouldn't want me any other way

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
It's too late to fight
It's too late to change me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right

You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don,t try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right
You may be wrong but you may be right