Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 7 2015

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 7 2015

 

                Here we are in Week 7 and we are dangerously close to being half way through the season. This is where we see the flaws of each team. Now rose colored glasses are taken off and we can see the team for what it is. Expo? By teams this week? Ah yes. It looks like Denver, Cincinnati, and Green Bay will all stay undefeated one more week, and Da bears will not lose this week, as they are off as well. Okay Expo let’s do this shall we? Kick It!!!

 

                First up on Thursday we find the Shehawks coming in for a long weekend to San Francisco. They took a tour of Alcatraz, and scored a touchdown. They went to Fisherman’s Warf and kicked a field goal. They even rode that trolley and kicked another field goal. The Worst part of this game was listening to Phil Simms and Jim Nance, at least Tom Brady wasn’t in the game. But those two referenced Tom and the Patriots only 10 times during the first half.

Finals Score the Shehawks 20 the 49er 3. Hey Expo do you think that the 49er fans miss Jim Harbaugh? Yea us too. But they have REGGIE BUSH and he carried the ball 4 time for 21 yards not bad. And he had 3 catches for 13 yards. and a punt return for 9 more. 43 yards how wonderful!!! But hey at least they won something tonight. Ta Da!!!! This week’s Birth Canal Team of the week is the San Francisco 49er…   

 

                First on Sunday we find this crazy game in London. Why in the world would the NFL want to Showcase their game in another country then send Jacksonville? Unless they were subconsciously trying to show the people of London “This is NOT how to play our game.” Buffalo is used to playing in a different country they are practically in Canada already. This game was shown on Yahoo, which we hope is not the future.

Final Score the Bills 31 the Jags 34. Having to watch the game with all those pop up ads and the buffering is like being forced to watch Phil Sims talk to Jon Gruden on the Tom Brady Show.

 

                Wow we could tell you a lot of things about this next game. Like how one Quarterback was sacked 7 times. How one team only had 14 first downs. How one Running back had one carry for 75 yards and how that same running back had 17 carries for 23 yards. Thrilling right? How the NFL finally had someone miss and extra point since they moved the distance to 33 yards.

Final Score the Viqueens 28 the Lions 19. Or we could just tell you that it was a game between the Viqueens and Lions.

 

                Up next we head to the indoor confines of Indianapolis Indiana. The Lucas Oil Stadium was all shined up and ready for the game. Too bad the Dolts were not. Following the fake punt last week the Dolts had the Taints come over and allow them to imprint a big horse shoe on the their taint. With no luck at all it is a wonder that the Dolts Head Coach Chuck Pagano wasn’t just as confused as he was last week. 

Final Score the Taints 27 the Dolts 21. This new crop of Voo Doo Dolls is working…

 

                Hey Hey Hey, Andy Reid has 2 wins now. Look out NFL the Kansas City Chiefs have won their second game, but it is against the Backup to the Backup Quarterback in Pittsburg. So the Aptly named Landry Jones was baptized by fire in that he threw 2 interceptions and had a fumble. Hopefully he can learn from his mistakes.

Final score the Steelers 13 the Chiefs 23. Hopefully he doesn’t make the same mistakes as Big Ben, and the dog killer Vick.

 

                So Cleveland ventured south to play the Ewes and their new Gurley man. This guy played very well, has he had 19 carries for 128 yards and 2 touchdowns. And look what else we find in the stat sheet. Ole Johnny Autograph Football (JAF) got in the game. Let’s see what he did? 4 out of 5 for 27 yards. Not sure they were stretching out the old arm, but at least he didn’t throw in interception.

Final Score the Brownstains 6 the Ewes 24. Well at least JAF didn’t assault anyone this week or drink and drive. What? He slapped his girlfriend around after he had been drinking? What good does rehab do anymore?

 

                Welcome to the J J Watts Show!!! We have a big show for you this week! This week J J is going to show everyone how he makes it to the Team plane on time and doesn’t get stuck in traffic. He will also have a phone interview (because he couldn’t make it to the Studio) with texan quarterback Ryan Mallett. During the cooking segment J J will show everyone how to make is famous get on the plane Chili. The mild and the Spicy variety. In the Crafts segment J J will allow the studio audience line up and Trick or treat him on stage which should be fun!!

Final Score the texans 26 the Olphins 44. When the score is 41 to nothing at halftime it makes you wonder if Ryan Mallett was the only one who missed the team Charter?

 

                Well in the next game one team had 25 first downs, 372 yards of total offense, and had the ball 33 minutes. The other team had a Quarterback who had the balls to be his team’s leading rusher with 15 yards. We mean if you only have 16 yards rushing you are not supposed to win right?

Final score the NEW YORK JETS 23 the Patriots 30. Well Tom Brady’s Balls were on display this week. Much to the dismay of the J E T S Jets Jets Jets

 

                So an Indian (feather not dot) and a Pirate and Duck walk into a bar in Washington DC. The Indian orders a firewater. The Pirate orders a Corn Whiskey and the duck orders Gin. The Bartender sets up the three drinks for them and they down them rather quickly. They order another round, and another and another. The duck Quacks loudly and passes smooth out. The bartender looks on to the floor and says to the other two who is going to pay for his drinks?

Final Score the Tampa Bay 30 the Deadskins 31. The Indian mumbles something and the Pirate looks at the bartender and says??? Just put all the drinks on his Bill… and you thought we were going to work in a Buccaneer joke didn’t you???

 

                One of the last two games on the schedule for Sunday was an old AFL battle when the Oakland Raiders took on the San Diego Super Chargers. However there was nothing super about the Chargers. This team is just not super. Expo what is a word that we could use to describe the Chargers? Awful? yes anything else?

Final Score the Raiders 37 the Chargers 26 Inferior, dreadful, bad, insignificant, ordinary, poor, second-rate, or just plan unexceptional, take your pick…

 

                In America’s game of the week the age old question came up again. This question has been debated around dinner tables, and Bars, and on the playgrounds of America. The only person that has not been consulted is Doctor Phil it seem like. But here is the Question. What Quarterback is worse the Ellie Manning? And it looks like we have an answer. Our answer is Matt Cassel. With three interceptions he showed why he is not even a capable backup. The second half of the game had an outburst of Cowgirl Defensive lineman Greg Hardy. Slapping a clipboard from a coach’s hand, and the head coach and owner chalks it up to passion. Really passion? “He is just so passionate about the game we want people like that on the team.” Right, you certainly do if your team is the Mean machine, from the movie “The Longest Yard.” It seems like a dictionary should be used on the sidelines for the Cowgirls games. There appears to be a very fine line between Passion and Stupidity. And we aren’t sure you can put your foot on the line without being on both sides.

Final Score the cowgirls 20 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 27. “Yes Mom, we won. We were down at halftime, but we intercepted a pass and ran it back for a touchdown. Then I drove the team to a field goal. Then they scored and we got the kick off and ran it back for a touchdown. And we won. Well I didn’t throw a touchdown but I didn’t throw an interception either. Can you please tell dad that we won? Please mom? Please?

 

                On Sunday night The Beagles and all their fleas went to Carolina. Slingin Sammy Bradford lived up to his name and threw the ball 46 times completing 26. Then Demarco Murray rushed the ball 18 times for 63 yards with a long of 11. Not too bad. But when Cam the Fig Newton is on the other side you know that your work is cut out for you.

Final Score the Beagles 16 the Panthers 27. Looks like Carolina Flipped the bird to Philadelphia this week.

 

                And finally we have the Classic matchup of a Team travelling across the country to play a game. Baltimore has had the schedule makers kick them when they are down. All the travel that they have had is getting ridiculous. We are not making excuses, (that isn’t our style) but travel to Denver, then Oakland, both across the country, then the last couple of weeks to San Francisco and this week Arizona. They aren’t supposed to win games when they travel across the country.

Final Score the Ravens 18 the Cardinals 26. Classic Bird fight. And we will quote the Raven never more…

 

Well that will do it for us this week.

And remember like we always say…

 

Friday night, it was late
I was walking you home
We got down to the gate
And I was dreaming of the night
Would it turn out right?

How to tell you, girl
I wanna build my world around you
Tell you that it's true
I wanna make you understand
I'm talking about a lifetime plan

That's the way it began
We were hand-in-hand
Glenn Miller's band
Was better than before
We yelled and screamed for more

And the Porter tune (Night and Day)
Made us dance across the room
It ended all too soon
And on the way back home
I promised you'd never be alone

Hurry, don't be late
I can't hardly wait
I said to myself when we're old
We'll go dancing in the dark
Walking through the park
And reminiscing

Friday night, it was late
I was walking you home
We got down to the gate
And I was dreaming of the night
Would it turn out right?

Now as the years roll on
Each time we hear our favorite song
The memories come along
Older times we're missing
Spending the hours reminiscing

Hurry, don't be late
I can't hardly wait
I said to myself when we're old
We'll go dancing in the dark
Walking through the park
And reminiscing