Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 5 2015

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 5 2015

 

                Week 5 is now in the books, and we had a very close week. So close that the Overtime games were plentiful. But Expo before we get started, who was By-curious this week? So Carolina will stay undefeated, and the J E T S and the Viqueens will not suffer as they are off. Last but not least the Olphins are off, wait, maybe they are the least? Okay Expo let’s do this shall we??? Kick it Please!!!

 

                First up on the Thursday night we find the J J Watt show, which we will join in progress. On the Special Thursday night edition on the J J Watt show we find our usual segments, in the Crafts segments, J J will show us how to get that “Sexy Witchy-poo” costume ready for Halloween. In our food Segment we will see J J get his Candied Apples ready for his Party. And in an Emmy award winning segment we see J J break down when discussing the losing streak the Texans are on.

Final Score the Colts 27 the texans 20. These Texans are playing like they want Mexico to win the War.

 

                 In the first overtime game on Sunday we find the Washington Deadskins Stumbling into Atlanta. The Falldowns were thinking they were going to have an easy time of it with the Deadskins in town, so easy in fact that they gave the ball away 3 times. But Washington QB Kurt Cousins was not about to let the Falldowns be gracious hosts. He threw a touchdown to seal the game in overtime.

Final Score the Deadskins 19 the Falldowns 25. Cousins threw an interception to lose the game. Fitting don’t you think??

 

                In the next overtime game we find the Shehawks heading to Cincinnati. It took the red headed step child a little while to get going, but once he did he was on time. After a discussion this weekend it has come to our attention that while the Shehawks are winning team, they are more like thugs than a football team.

Final Score the Shehawks 24 the Bengals 27. Oh and we really enjoy it that the Shehawks are below 500 now.

 

                Next up we find that the St Louis Ewes are playing up and down. Up one week like beating the Cardinals, down the next like playing the Packers. Ewes Quarterback Nick Foles threw the ball to the Packers almost as much as he did his own team. Just so you know. When you complete 11 passes to your team, and 4 to the other team, then you might have an issue.

Final Score the Ewes 10 the Packers 24. Aaron Rogers got his discount double check going.

 

                In a word the next game can only be described as wow. Like Wow this game was actually played. Like Wow someone had to win this game. Like Wow some people actually showed up to watch this game. The Super Duck was there, and Like Wow Tyrod “TT Taylor played about a half and won the game.

Final Score the Bills 14 the Titans 13. Like Wow Expo if this game left a bad taste in your mouth we think we know why.

 

                In the next close game we find Da Bears heading to Kansas City. The Chiefs coach Andy Reid Looks like he has been missing something and we don’t mean any Bar B Que place in Kansas City. This Poor fellow looked like the Kool-Aid man on the sidelines. It looks like the Coaching style of Andy Reid has become, Call a play and watch it not work then watch his Quarterback do nothing to help.

Final Score Da Bears 14 the Chiefs 13. Not exactly sure what the Chiefs are doing out there, but then neither does their coach, so they have that going for them.

 

                So up next the Taints headed to the city of brotherly shove. Philadelphia is not the place to be at the moment. But “Slingin” Sammy Bradford had a good game, and DeMarco Murray had a good game, and the Taints did what they do best. They stunk up the place, they laid down and let the Beagles raise their leg and urinate on them.

Final Score the Taints 17 the Beagles 39. So if the league continues to Urinate on New Orleans will the whole town continue to stink?

 

                In a game for what appears to be the 6^th pick in the draft. The Crab leg king Jameis Winston invited Blake Bortles over for some dinner. Bortles said “Wow I really loved this corn. How did you do it?” Winston said “Well, if you can get them for a dollar each you too can make Buck an ear corn.”

Final Score the Jags 31 the Buc’s 38. Okay Expo this is week 5 have we exhausted the Buccaneer jokes yet?   

 

                So now is the time in the presentation that we have to talk about the Cleveland Brownstains. This is the Art Modell Dixie cup game. Let us remind you that that the Ravens who moved from Cleveland to Baltimore, then Cleveland gets another team and they are in the same division. So the game is now played for the beloved Dixie cup that Former Cleveland Brown/Ravens owner Art Modell used to take his meds each night. It is a Dixie cup nailed to a stick. So let’s get to the game.

Final score the Brownstains 33 the Ravens 30. Our third overtime game of the week, and Johnny Autograph football didn’t play. So what else was there to talk about?

 

                Up next we find the Cardinals heading up to Detroit Rot city. If there was ever a team that has fallen from the grace that is the NFL then Detroit is it. Matt Stafford has finally decided to follow in the footsteps of his city, it appears he is going to do nothing but crap his own pants and fall down. His line before he was benched was 20 of 33 for 188 yards, and 3 interceptions. Not good.

Final Score the Cardinals 42 the Lions 17. If this game was played during the roman time, the Cardinals (Christians) would have killed the Lions.

 

                Next up we find the beat down that is the Jim Nance and Phil Simms. Why on earth would anyone subject the listening Audience to these two morons is beyond us. Expo did you play that new drinking game? Yes the one where every time Phil Simms says the magic word you take a drink? I know it seems like America would have been hammered if they tried this game. So let us let you in on the game. Next time these two are on TV, your mission should you accept it is to take a drink every time Phil Simms says the word “Side” or any variation, like outside, inside right side, left side off sides on sides. And if the Patriots are playing, then you get the double whammy of drinking every time either of them talks about Tom Brady.

Final Score the Patriots 30 the Cowgirls 6. Well Brandon Weeden has finally won something as a starting Quarterback, this week he won the Birth canal team of the week. Way to go!!!

 

                And lastly on the Sunday afternoon schedule we find Mr. Manning taking his troop of merry misfits to the Bay area for a game against the Raiders. Peyton didn’t play his best has he threw two interceptions and no touchdowns for the game against the Raider. He did however lead his team to 3 field goal drives to seal the game.

Final Score the Bronco’s 16 the Raiders 10. After the game at Peyton’s locker we find him talking to his dad. “Yes dad I know. Dad Look I have to hurry Eli is coming on in a little while and I want to watch his game. Yes Dad Eli, my brother. Your other son that plays in the NFL. Yes dad he does play in the NFL. He had more wins than you did in your career. Yes I know we aren’t supposed to bring up that town. Look I have to go dad, give mom a kiss for me. But wash your mouth out before you do, I don’t want her to get that type of language on her.”

 

                On the Sunday night game the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS had the San Francisco 49er come to Jersey. And if the 49er are in town, you know what that means. Yes it is REGGIE Bush Stats time. Let’s check out the production of the man who is thought to be the greatest running back of all time REGGIE BUSH. He had 1 carry for -1 yard. Oh my. That didn’t go so well. Let’s see, they decided to not throw the ball to him either. What a shame, that is not going to look good on the stat sheet.

Final Score the 49er 27 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 30 in the locker room after the game, Ellie was talking on the phone “And And And then with 26 seconds left I threw a pass to Larry Donnell for a touchdown and we win the game! It was so exciting I thought I was just going to die when he crossed the goal line.”  A big smile came across Ellie’s face as he started to speak again “Did you get all of that Mom? Can you tell dad the story just like I said? Just like I said? I want him to know I lead the comeback to win the game I didn’t need an interception return for a touchdown to win. I lead my team on the drive to win the game.” Somehow I don’t think that Archie is going to be impressed with this touchdown drive.

 

                And on the Last game of the week the Pittsburg Steelers went to San Diego for some sun on Monday night. Pittsburg had one thing on their minds and that was not letting the kicker the beat them again this week. So being behind by 3 points and the ball on the half yardline some 18 inches from the goal line they elected to take their quarterback and run him out as a wide receiver, and direct snap the ball to running back Le’Veon Belle who was able to gain 22 inches on the play and the Steelers win.

Final score the Steelers 24 the Chargers 20. Wow Mike Tomlin certainly doesn’t like kickers does he? Or maybe it is just over time he has a problem with…

 

Well that will do it for us this week we sure do hope you have enjoyed this week’s edition of the stroll and like we always say…

 

 

Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city

All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come-on come-on and dance all night
Despite the heat it'll be alright

And babe, don't you know it's a pity
That the days can't be like the nights
In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city

Cool town, evening in the city
Dressing so fine and looking so pretty
Cool cat, looking for a kitty
Gonna look in every corner of the city
Till I'm wheezing like a bus stop
Running up the stairs, gonna meet you on the rooftop

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come-on come-on and dance all night
Despite the heat it'll be alright

And babe, don't you know it's a pity
That the days can't be like the nights
In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city


Hot town, summer in the city
Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty
Been down, isn't it a pity
Doesn't seem to be a shadow in the city

All around, people looking half dead
Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head

But at night it's a different world
Go out and find a girl
Come-on come-on and dance all night
Despite the heat it'll be alright

And babe, don't you know it's a pity
That the days can't be like the nights
In the summer, in the city
In the summer, in the city