Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 4 2015

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

2015 Week 4

 

                Well twenty five percent of the season is now over. We are starting to see teams for who they really are. We have a better handle on those teams who will stand up and fight and those that will lay down and not fight, and even those that will fight but just aren’t good enough to win. However before we get to the games this week, we have a question for Expo. What teams are Bi-curious this week Expo? Ah the Super Duck and his Titan brethren are off. And Look who it is. One Tom Terrific Brady will get to pressurize his balls this week at home this week. So Expo if the Pot is right, spin them around and let’s kick it one time please?

 

                First up on the Week is a tough AFC North match up. These two teams just don’t like each other, and when they get together sparks fly. The Pittsburg Steelers and the Baltimore Ravens walked out on the field for the Thursday night affair. During our time writing about this game called football we have told everyone, that the kicker will win you a game from time to time. However there are times when the kicker will lose you a game as well. Poor Josh Scobee you missed two field goals that would have won the game in regulation Then Pittsburg Coach Mike Tomlin decided not to give him a chance in Overtime.

Final Score the Ravens 23 the Steelers 20. Some coaches will say if you are afraid to use your kicker in a pressure situation, then you don’t have a kicker.

 

                First up on Sunday we find the one game on the schedule that the entire United States didn’t need to watch. This game was so bad, that the NFL could not even play it in this Country. Welcome to Football Day in England. And what better teams than to put in England than the J E T S and the Olphins. We mean how should the NFL get its popular product to another country? Would that be by putting on the greatest show it possibly could? Or just maybe to putting two teams that no one really cares about and let the England hype machine do its best.

Final Score the J E T S 27 the Olphins 14. You are right Expo; Miami’s plays no defense so the Olphins are a perfect name for them.

 

                Hello and today on the J J Watts show we will be preempted by a conversation between our NFL Commissioner and the greatest interviewer in the history of the world, Tony Dungy.

Dungy: “Hum so you’re the commissioner right?”

Goodell: “Yes”

Dungy: “And that means you can make important decisions about things in the NFL right?”

Goodell: “Yes”

Dungy: “And hum this might be tough one now so watch out. How are you doing with all of that? I mean do you like what you are doing?”

Goodell: “Yes”

Dungy: “Okay so you like what you are doing. So if the NFL were in a tug of war battle with say Major league Baseball, where players from the NFL were pulling against players from Baseball. Do you think the NFL would win?”

Goodell: “Yes”

Dungy: “Thanks For your time today sir. We now return you to your regular scheduled program in progress.”

J J Watts “And that is how I saved the people from the burning building with only one fire extinguisher. Up next we talk about how you can score 21 points in the fourth quarter of game and still lose by 3 touchdowns.

Final Score the texans 21 the Falldowns 48. Why do important shows get interrupted for nonsense like this?

 

                In the first great Battle of New York this season we find the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS heading to see the Buffalo Bills. After paying the 35$ in tolls to get out of New Jersey, (it is worth any amount they want to charge to let you out of New Jersey, so just pay it) they made it to see Niagara Falls.

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 24 the Bills 10. Ellie waited on his call. Finally the phone rang and it was his mother. “Your father is very upset.” She said. “He wants to know why you can’t just stop throwing interceptions.” Ellie Replied “But Mom we won?” “Well your father has already turned the game off, and I thought I would get your voice mail anyway.”

 

                After watching this game there is only one question that comes to mind. Why wasn’t this game played in England?  Oh wait; there is another question to asked. What do you get when you add 3 fields goals and one touchdown?

Final Score the Jags 13 the Colts 16. Yep a win, as long as you are playing Blake Bortles.

 

                 Well well well. The Tampa Bay played so well this week that they won the time of possession, by 4 minutes they had more total yards by 167 yards. They had 8 more first downs. But they also lead the game in turnovers as well, and when we say turn overs we don’t mean apple.

Final Score the Panthers 37 the Tampa Bay 23. This week promotion at the Grocery Stores in Tampa is “When Jameis Winston throws an interception that is returned for a touchdown, Corn goes on sell. This week the sell price shows Corn on the cob is a dollar each.

 

                The interesting stat from this game is that Demarco Murray had 8 carries for 36 yards; his longest carry was 30 yards. That means that he carried the ball 7 times for 6 yards. The Beagles had a great offensive game plan, “Let’s see how we can win a game when we only have the ball for fewer 19 minutes.” In this NFL you can’t, let the other team have the ball for 2/3 of the game an expect to win.

Final Score the Beagles 20 the Deadskins 23. We think that Eagles head coach is either the most brilliant man in football or the dumbest. And currently the Dumbest is winning by a 42 to 18 margin.

 

                Oaky so here we go with the next game. Hum… Expo, what do we have on the next game? Yes the Brownstains and the Chargers? Yes they played. No it wasn’t cancelled due to lack of interest. Yes I am sure. Look I know it is Cleveland and the San Diego, yes yes yes. But the readers want to know our thoughts on this game. Oaky so that is what we have? Really? Okay. Well here goes nothing.

Final Score the Brownstains 27 the Chargers 30. That really was nothing. But hey the kicker made a field goal to win the game, we wonder if the Steelers noticed that?

 

                Wow in the next game we find that Adrian Peterson showed his football prowess again. Good ole AP had 16 carries for 81 yards a whopping 5 yards every time he touched the ball. His long was 48 yards, which means that if you look remove that 1 carry he had 15 carries for 33 yards, a much better representation of how he played.

Final Score the Viqueens 20 the Bronco’s 23. In the locker room after the game Peyton took his familiar after game call. “Yes Dad we won, I know you watched on the Direct TV package. But Dad I got that for you so you could watch Eli play too. No dad, you aren’t supposed to be watching preseason hockey. Dad I threw 2 interceptions today, but we still won. But, But, But Dad…”

 

                So this might get a little confusing but here we go. This game was played in Arizona, that team that left ST Louis went to Arizona, and the team that came to St Louis was from Los Angeles. So this is a battle for Supremacy of St Louis, but it is being played in Arizona got it? Whew… okay so here we go. As the Pittsburg Steelers can attest to having a strong kicker is a good thing. The Ari-Freaking-zona Cardinals can attest to Kicking too many field goals while the other team is scoring touchdowns will get you beat most every time.

Final Score the Ewes 24 the Cardinals 22. 5 Field goals and one touchdown gets you beat when the other team score 3 touchdowns and has 1 field goal.

 

                On the Field you could hear the cheers; it started slow then got bigger and louder. REG-GIE REG-GIE REG-GIE. Until he finally came on the field, and his team was in need of spark, which is just what they got. The Numbers for REG-GIE don’t seem impressive, but what is impressive is his willingness to lay everything on the line for his team, for his teammates, and for his city. His line is stellar.  1 carry for no yards and 1 catch for 6 yards. Wow. Wonder how much Gatorade he needs to rehydrate after that?

Final Score the Packers 17 the 49ers 3. And yes for that stellar performance the 49er win this week’s Birth canal Team of the week. Way to go San Fran!!!

 

                Well on to Sunday night and the Cowgirls Vs the Taints. We can only say that the stat that jumps out at us each week is how well Brandon Weeden is playing. He was Masterful 16 of 26 for 246 yards and no interceptions. Nevermind that the fact that he has not won a game in the NFL in his last 10 starts, which dates back to his days with Cleveland in 2013. It was October 3 2012 against Buffalo. So when will the Cowgirls win again? Only time will tell.

Final Score the Cowgirls 20 the Taints 26. We can only guess that Voodoo Dolls and Drew Brees were in full effect this week.

 

                So let take a look at the final game of the week. The Monday night affair in the great Northwest. The Lions ventured out of their lair to fight the mighty Seattle Shehawks. What the fans were treated too was some of the worst football in the history of the league. Yet again this game should have been played someplace where people know nothing of the game. Well Maybe Seattle was the best place for this game. 4 turnovers and 12 punts and another poorly officiated game in Seattle. So on the Lions last play, Calvin Johnson had the ball knocked out of his hands at the 1 foot line, and Shehawk K J Wright knocked the ball out of the endzone. So what should have happened is. Since no one had possession of the fumble the ball reverts back to the Team that fumbled the ball where the ball was fumbled. And play should resume. But what actually happens is the officials gathered together, talked about what would be the worst possible call, and decided to come up… “Let’s give the ball to the Shehawks, at their 20 because it should be a touchback?” the NFL on Tuesday said the Officials made the wrong call, and they were sorry, a lot of damn good that did on Tuesday? Where the hell was the unbiased replay official? Taking a leak? Do we need someone to watch the people that were supposed to watch the game to get the calls right? We aren’t a Lions fans, but these wrong Monday night calls we think are just slipping by because no one is really watching the games on Monday night anyway because of Jon Gruden.

Final Score the Lions 10 the Shehawks 13. These officials should be asked to stay home until we ask them to comeback. “Yea don’t call us, and we won’t call you”

 

Well that will do it for us this week. We hope you are enjoying this as much as we are. And Remember like we always say…

 

 

I just can't believe all the things people say Controversy
Am I black or white? Am I straight or gay? Controversy
Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me? Controversy
Controversy Controversy
I can't understand human curiosity, Controversy
Was it good for you? Was I what you wanted me to be? Controversy
Do you get high? Does your daddy cry? Controversy
Controversy Controversy

Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me?
Some people want to die so they can be free
(I said) Life is just a game, we're all just the same, do you want to play?
Controversy Controversy Controversy
Controversy Controversy Controversy

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven
Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever
Controversy Controversy Controversy Controversy
Love Him, Love Him baby
Controversy Controversy Controversy
Controversy Controversy Controversy

Listen
People call me rude, I wish we were all nude
I wish there was no black and white, I wish there were no rules
(repeat 3 times)
Controversy Controversy

Do I believe in God? Do I believe in me? Let me tell ya...
Some people want to die so they can be free
(I said) Life is just a game, we're all just the same...don't ya want to play?
Controversy Controversy Controversy Controversy