Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 2 2015

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard 2015

Week 2

 

                Well as life in the big city rolls on and we find ourselves in week 2. Week 1 was a good for some, a not good for others, but a great for the fan of the league. Expo was excited and we watched our DVR’d show, which was real interesting. But this week there are new games, more games and things we need to tell you about. So let’s do it!!! Expo can you Kick it please???

 

                First up on Thursday we find the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs in a tussle the Magnitude of a kindergardeners fighting over who can go down slide first. Chief Quarterback Alex Smith was no wins and 4 losses against the Bronco’s, that trend continued as his two interceptions contributed to the 5 turnovers for the Chiefs. It is great to take a touchdown lead with 2:32 left in the game only to lose by 7.  

Final Score the Bronco’s 31 the Chiefs 24. After the game while Peyton is sitting by his locker he hears that ringtone coming from his phone. “Hello Dad” “Son, I am so glad you guys won tonight. Not like that worthless son of your mothers. On Sunday night.” Peyton just shook his head

 

                    Well here we are on Sunday, and who should we see? It’s Tom Brady on Sunday throwing touchdown pass after touchdown pass after touchdown for a total of 3. Good thing Buffalo’s Quarterback Tyrod “TT” Taylor matched him touchdown for touchdown for touchdown. But where Tom Terrific didn’t throw an interception, good ole “TT” threw three. Is it just us or is it funny how the Foot always ends in Rex Ryan’s mouth?

Final Score The Pats 40 the Buffalo 32. After the Game while reporters were gathering around the locker of Tom Brady an announcement was heard over the loud speaker “Please Clear the locker Room Area, Roger Godell is coming in to inspect Mr. Brady’s Balls.”

 

                Those fans in the Chicago Land Area hoping for Jay Cutler to not be your Quarterback any longer, welcome once again to the era of Jimmy “the Pickle” Clausen. How does 14 of 23 for 121 yards 2 sacks and an interception sound? That just doesn’t seem Kosher. Well the Ari-Freaking-zona Cardinals came home to Chicago and went bear hunting. Boo Boo is not going to be happy about this one.

Final Score the Cards 48 Da Bears 23. Expo? Did you slip this in? Kosher pickles? Really?

 

                Remember when we talked a team not being able to travel half way across the country and win? Cincinnati say hello to the Chargers of San Diego. Bengal Quarterback Andy Dalton played like this was September, and threw 3 touchdowns and no interceptions. Just wait till December Bengal fans, you know what is coming. Charger fans are used to a slow start as the Rivers run slowly at the beginning.

Final score the Chargers 19 the Bengals 23. Stay Classy San Diego. Stay Classy.

 

                So Johnny Autograph Football throws touchdown pass of 60 yards, then one for 50 yards and suddenly he is the next great Quarterback? The rest of his line looks like this 6 of 13 for 62 yards. So we guess that does make you great if you were still in high school. The Tennessee Duck threw 257 yards and 2 touchdowns as well. But we guess that everyone wanted JAF to succeed in the NFL that they will say anything to prop up their case.

Final Score the Titans 14 the Brownstains 28. Let the boo’s begin.

 

                Up next we find that the Lions are folding like the city they represent. Look we get it, Matt Stafford is an elite Quarterback with a special set of skills that no one really wants to see, we get that. okay? But to account for 306 yards of your teams 323 total yards of offense is a little too predictable in our book. Adrian Peterson ran the ball a lot better than last week. Or maybe not…

Final Score the Lion 16 the Viqueens 26. Or maybe the Lions defense just sucks?

 

                The new fight song in New Orleans now ends “All and All it’s just another Kick in the Taint” Well we can only guess that Drew Brees was doing too many Nyquil Commercials, because he seems to be sleeping through most of these games. New Orleans needs more Voo Doo Dolls because when they just stand around and let the other team win, that is not a good thing.

Final Score the Buccaneers 26 the Taints 19. After the game the Crab leg loving Jameis Winston was at the podium when a reporter asked him what the Referee was saying to him just before halftime Winston Said “He said something and I couldn’t hear him so I said what? And he said back to me you can’t hear me, where are your ears? I told him under my Buccan helmet.” 

 

                Up next the Atlanta Falldowns traveled up the east coast to New Jersey for some fun on the shore. What they found was Ellie Manning and the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS. And what Atlanta did was win. Ellie and Cough it up Coughlin showed why the game is longer than 58 minutes. They lose again in the final two minutes of the game.

Final Score the Falldowns 24 the NYFG 20. After the game Ellie rushed to locker room and called home to talk to his father for some advice on how to close the games out as a winner not a loser. “Dad. Dad? Oh hi mom, is dad not answering his phone?” “No dear, he is not talking your call until you can as he put it win a damn game.” Ellie hung up the phone and thought, he is watching my games, and a smile came across his face.

 

                Well Big Ben could do no wrong on Sunday; he was stellar going 21 of 27 for 369 yards and 3 touchdowns. The Kaepernick was not so fortunate. This game if you can call it a game was probably decided way before Sunday afternoon. And it can be summed up in three words preparation, Preperation, and preparation.

Final Score the 49er 18 the Steeler 43. After the game Pittsburg head coach Mike Tomlin was asked about big Ben’s preparation, “Well there was a Bring on the fall Y’all Jr high Dance on Friday night that he was a chaperone for I think he was prepared for that.”

 

                Well everyone in Washington was getting ready for the arrival of the Pope. Yep that is right the Pope is coming. What is that Expo? What should we do? Oh well huh… Look Busy!!! And that is exactly what the Deadskins did. With the 3 touchdowns  and a field goal and 19 first downs they were busy alright. Thanks for looking great last week STL. Your nickname remains intact for another week at least.

Final Score Ewes 10 the Deadskins 24. Does anyone really think our professional congress will learn anything from the Pope? Well if anyone can teach an old dog a new trick it is Pope Francis.

 

                 Here we are again and welcome to the J J Watts show. On today’s show we will have the usual segments, including “Arts and crafts” where JJ will show you how to prepare the perfect live table scape for fall. In the “Cooking” segment JJ will prepare his favorite after game drink, which he will need a lot of this season. And in a very emotional “Keeping it real” segment JJ will explain the Oxymoron aspects of earning 100 million dollars a season, but having to play in Houston. So come on back for another installment of the JJ Watts show!!!

Final Score the Houston 17 the Panthers 24. Expo are we on for Wednesday night viewing of this week’s show? Okay. We will bring the Nachos you have the Tequila ready, this looks like it is going to be a great show.

 

                The Ravens had more Offensive yards 493 to the Raiders 448 more first downs 29 to 27 more time of possession 30:27 to 29:33. And more travel time as well, as the flight from Baltimore to San Francisco is about 6 hours. And when you travel and you opponent doesn’t… Well even the Raiders can beat you. Case in point.

Final Score the Ravens 33 the Raiders 37. All the Raider Fans are happy. But remember one thing… you are the Raiders. So next weeks is coming…

 

                So in this world of Facebook and scams the Miami Dolphins thought they would scam the Jacksonville Jaguars. With the game tied at 20 Miami gets the ball at their own 20 yard line with 40 seconds to go. So do they A: kneel down a couple of plays and go to overtime? B: run out the clock by handing the ball off to a running back and go to overtime or C: Do they throw 4 times completing one pass for 9 yards and give the ball back to the Jaguars at their own 29 yard line for them to kick a field goal to win the game??

Final Score the Jaguars 23 the Dolphins 20. This has all the logic of an Army marching backwards towards in enemy, to make the enemy thing they are marching away only to turn around at the last instance to catch them off guard. Right like that works all the time…

 

                The is America’s game of the week this is the best game Fox could put on the air. This seems like common Sense to us, but if you have as many rushing yards as you do punts in a game, there might be something wrong. The Beagles had 7 yards rushing. Did you hear me Expo 7. SEVEN. One less than 8, the number of time the cowgirls have played in the Superbowl, and 6 the number of super bowls that the Pittsburg Steelers have won. Old lucky number 7. That is 17 carries for a total of 7 yards. Oh Yes Expo thanks for reminding me. Yes the Beagles had 7 punts on the day.

Final score the Cowgirls 20 the Beagles 10. And lest we forget. Last year the Cowgirls were sporting the combination of Romo Bryan and Maurry. Next week they will start Weeden, Beasley, and Randle. Right… that’s the ticket… 

 

                And finally the game we have all been waiting for the rematch of last year’s NFC Championship game. The game that all fans in Green Bay wanted to see. The Shehawks came to town looking to repeat their performance of last January. However the Packers were having nothing of it. The Appropriately named Russell Wilson Seattle’s Super Athlete was working extra has he had 284 of the 324 yards for the Shehakws.

Final Score the Shehawks 17 the Packers 27. Another Discount double check and another win for the Packers.

 

                Now is it just me or is someone really messing with Andrew Lucks head? Ever since he found out that Tm Brady’s Balls are slightly softer than the rest of the Leagues, he can’t seem to win a game. and this loss is to the J E T S jets jets jets, are you kidding? The Punts again seem to be a theme in this game much like a game on Sunday. But it bears repeating. If you have as many turnovers as you do punts? Then you are probably not going to have a good game. Colts had 5 turnovers. And 3 punts.

Final Score the J E T S 20 the Colts 7. But you know what 7 points does win you? Not the AFC Championship game, but it does win you this Week’s Birth Canal Team of the Week.

 

 

Okay kids that will do it for us for this week.

And remember like we always say…

 

You already know who it is
Silentó
Silentó
Silentó
Gonna do it for me

Now watch me whip (Kill it!)
Now watch me nae nae (Okay!)
Now watch me whip whip
Watch me nae nae (Want me do it?)

Now watch me whip (Kill it!)
Watch me nae nae (Okay!)
Now watch me whip whip
Watch me nae nae (Can you do it?)

Now watch me

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Do the stanky leg (stank)
Do the stanky leg (stank stank)
Do the stanky leg (stank)
Do the stanky leg (stank stank)

Now break your legs (break 'em, break 'em)
Break your legs (break 'em dog)
Tell 'em "break your legs" (break 'em, break 'em)
Break your legs (break 'em dog)
Tell 'em "break your legs" (break 'em, break 'em)
Break your legs (break 'em dog)
Tell 'em "break your legs" (break 'em, break 'em)
Break your legs (break 'em dog)

Now watch me
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
Now watch me
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop

Now watch me whip (Kill it!)
Now watch me nae nae (Okay!)
Now watch me whip whip
Watch me nae nae (Want me do it?)

Now watch me whip (Kill it!)
Watch me nae nae (Okay!)
Now watch me whip whip
Watch me nae nae (Can you do it?)

Now watch me

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Now watch me yule (Soulja)
Now watch me superman (okay!)
Now watch me yule (Soulja)
Now watch me superman (okay!)

Now watch me yule (Soulja)
Now watch me superman (okay!)
Now watch me yule (Soulja)
Now watch me superman (okay!)

Now watch me duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff (Hold on)
Now watch me duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff, duff

Now watch me
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
Now watch me
Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop

Now watch me whip (Kill it!)
Now watch me nae nae (Okay!)
Now watch me whip whip
Watch me nae nae (Want me do it?)

Now watch me whip (Kill it!)
Watch me nae nae (Okay!)
Now watch me whip whip
Watch me nae nae (Can you do it?)

Now watch me

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh

Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh watch me, watch me
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Crank dat