Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 10

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 10

 

                Well here we are Week 10, and things are shaping up. And in shaping up we mean things are becoming clearer. And before we get going too far let’s talk about who is not playing. The Patriots had a bye this week as did the San Diego Super Chargers. JJ Watts and his Houston Texans went to the school Dance, and The Indianapolis Colts are off. And lastly did anyone notice that the Washington Redskins and the Viqueens were both off…  Okay let’s see… Bye Teams Check. Things becoming clearer. Check. Expo are you ready? That folks is why he is the best in this business. Kick it then will you!!!

 

                Well here we go. We didn’t mention this last week but this week it seems worth mentioning. Did anyone see the Thursday night Extravaganza? We didn’t either. It looks like the Games have moved back to the NFL network. Wonderful. You know this is like promoting the Circus,

“Come see the Greatest show in the world.”

Where is it?

“Oh we are setting up the big top at the north pole.”

Well you know that no one will be able to make it?

Sure don’t worry it is on our Circus Network.

Final Score the Brownstains 24 the Bengals 3. We know this was a tough AFC North Battle. But Good God you could only muster 3 damn points. Hey Cincinnati who do you think you are? Any Democrat running in the midterm elections? Well we can say this for you. Congrats. It didn’t take too long to set the bar low enough for everyone to get over. So this week’s Birth Canal Team of the week will have Tiger stripes on it. 

 

                First up on Sunday the Kansas City Chiefs went to Buffalo to play the Bills. And the Bills stuck it to the Chiefs by outgaining them by 80 Yards; they had 5 more first downs. They had 5 less sacks. But then where the game counts the Bills had 3 turnovers to only one for the Chiefs. They had 3 more Penalties than the Chiefs, and then the worse thing they could do. They Scored 3 less points than the Chiefs.

Final Score the Chiefs 17 the Bills 13. So we have looked this stat, and the team that scores the fewest points in the game loses. This is not Golf people…

 

                Well the Olphins went to the Burned out city of Detroit to take on the Lions. And Boy did they do their thing. As we all know the Olphins have no “D” and this game was no different. Before we get to collapse on Display, we should give the Greatest running in the history of the NFL his due. REGGIE BUSH played and preformed like he always does. The Cheers and adulation of the crowd each time he touches the ball made it so hard to hear. His 4 carries that took him 20 yards, was in a word, underwhelming, His only catch netted an 8 yard gain. His production was 5 touches and 28 yards. With production like that how the Lions do anything but win.

Final Score the Olphins 16 the Lions 20. What would you expect from the king of the beasts?

 

                So next we go to the home of sweat and urine, The Superdome… Hell no one wants to be there, the 49ers didn’t, he Fans didn’t, the refugees didn’t, the mice and cockroaches don’t want to be there.  So why does the NFL play there? Because if they want to keep those people in one spot. And yes we mean those Voo-Doo Loving, Dead worshiping people who show up to the Taints games. This week the Taints took another one in the shorts, figuratively has the touchdown they thought they got was actually Just pass interference.

Final Score the 49er 27 the Taint 24. Wonderful more Voo-doo dolls of the 49er. Great…

 

                All the Clichés work here, sometimes you’re the dog, sometimes you’re the hydrant. Sometimes you’re the Hammer, sometimes you’re the nail. Sometimes you’re the Hero, Sometimes your goat. Sometimes you are the Filet mignon sometimes you’re the Chopped liver. Sometimes you are the Steelers, and sometimes you are the Jets.

Final Score the Steelers 13 the J E T S 20. And our all-time favorite, sometimes you are the licker and sometimes you are toe.

 

                Looking at the stats for what was the worst game on television in the last Week, and hell we had Cleveland and Cincinnati on the schedule this week we had Tampa Bay and the Atlanta Falldowns. This game hinged on the play of only one player. And his name is Stansly Maponga. This was his break out game and it is no wonder that the Falldowns won this game.

Final Score the Falldowns 27 the Tampa Bay 17. As we mentioned this game hinged on the play of Stansly. His line included 0 carries for 0 yards, no catches, no tackles solo or assisted, no interceptions. Nothing get the picture? This guy was in the huddle on defense lined up and heard the whistle and ran off the field. Now why couldn’t the rest of the players done that???

 

                In a game that could only be played outside of this country, we take you to London. Where the Cowgirls and the Jaguars faced off in a fierce battle for the ages. Really Expo? A fierce battle? Really? The girls were up by 24 before the fourth quarter. What makes anyone think that this was a game? If the NFL wanted to go to London and tap in to the Market that is Britain, then pick a game, not a blowout. This is the third game over there this year and if that doesn’t kill the NFL dream then nothing will.

Final score the Cowgirls 31 the Jags 17.  We guess the Folks in Britain will still show up next year, hell people still show up to watch 2 Man Sand Volleyball matches right?

 

                If we were to tell you that this was the game of the week would you stop reading? It wasn’t so don’t stop reading. It is just like with the games this week we have already had, we get this one. Okay we can do this. Here goes. Hum… huh… with all the excitement we can muster. How many Titans does it take to beat a Raven? We may never know.

Final Score the titans 7 the Ravens 21. Well crap we tried.

 

                Can we just say that if you throw 5 touchdowns you aren’t ordinary? If your name is Peyton Manning you aren’t ordinary. After the game Peyton was sitting around his locker with reporters asking questions, “Hey Peyton, do you have anything to say about last week’s performance?”

“Looks guys it is this simple. When the shoes you put on your feet makes you sad, you need to change them. People are worried about Ebola, and whether their little sister is going to play a good game this afternoon. I mean I am not worried about that stuff but someone probably is. Except for that Ebola, I am worried about that. 

Final Score the Bronco’s 41 the Raiders 17. Let’s see oh no we missed this important fact. “The Raiders Suck” and you can quote us on that.

 

                If anyone was wondering why Austin Davis was a third string Quarterback? We will direct you to the tape of the fourth quarter of this game. We were beginning to think that Davis was just about to take the snap, and pitch the ball into his own endzone for the Cardinals to pounce on. Oh wait. It looks like he did that. 21 points in 3 minutes and 30 seconds is bad. But in the fourth quarter is worse, and to lose the lead and the game as well.

Final Score. The Ewes 17 the Cardinals 31. Well you are still the Ewes. Even beating the 49er last week doesn’t help you when you do this.

 

                Watching Elisha play Quarterback is getting more predictable. She will throw the ball beautifully for about 5 passes then suddenly she throws one that everyone just goes what the hell was that. She kicks the Dirt looks at the receivers makes some hand motion like a snake slithering through the tall grass. The looks over at head coach Tom Coughlin, who has a confused look on his face as if to say “What the hell man” After the game Coach Tom was asked “How do he felt about his quarterback?”

“How would you like it if your livelihood depended on the questions you ask in the press conference?”

“Well it does and I am confident that I ask pretty good questions.”

“We all wish that playing Quarterback was as easy the Manning’s make it look.”

“But coach you have a Manning playing Quarterback.”

“No I mean A Manning that is boy not this sissy we got.”

Final Score NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 17 the Shehawks 38.  It looks like Elisha is trying to get his coach fired as well. Or maybe he just doesn’t know what it going on.

 

 

                So these two teams are going in different directions. The Packers are going up and who the heck knows what Chicago is doing. So if your Quareterback throws 6 touchdowns in a game he is pretty good. If your quarterback throws 6 touchdowns in the first half he is pretty good. If your quarterback is Jay Cutler, then he is not very good. But we can see why you stick with Jay Cutler, when Jimmy the Pickle Clausen is your backup,  don’t have a backup.

Final Score 14 the Packers 55. Holy crap, Expo is that right they put up 55 points?  Wow was there a defense on the field?

 

                If you were looking for a game to end the week then this wasn’t it. If you were expecting the Panthers to roll over and get their fur rubber the wrong way, then you were right. If you don’t know what a Dirty Sanchez, you might want to look it up on that thing called the internet. If you didn’t think that that the Jets could swap Quarterbacks with the Beagles and both teams win, then think again. Mark “Dirty” Sanchez had his well-placed fingers all over the ball. And the Panthers could do nothing but just take it.

Final Score the Panthers 21 the Beagles 45. Yes Expo that is what a dirty Sanchez is.

 

Well that will do it for us this week

Remember like we always say…

    

Yeah, keep your eyes on the road your hands upon the wheel
Keep your eyes on the road your hands upon the wheel
Down in the roadhouse we're gonna have a real, a good time

Yeah at the back at the roadhouse they got some bungalows
Yeah at the back at the roadhouse they got some bungalows
And that's for the people who like to go down slow

Let it roll, baby roll
Let it roll, baby roll
Let it roll, baby roll
Let it roll, all night long
Do it, Robbie, do it

You gotta roll, roll, roll
You gotta thrill my soul, all right
Roll, roll, roll, roll and thrill my soul
You gotta beep a gunk a chucha
Honk konk konk

You gotta each you puna
Each ya bop a luba
Each y'all bump a kechonk
Ease sum konk, ya, ride

Ashen lady, ashen lady
Give up your vows, give up your vows
Save our city, save our city
Right now

Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer
Well, I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer
The future's uncertain and the end is always near

Let it roll, baby roll
Let it roll, baby roll
Let it roll, baby roll
Let it roll, all night long