Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 7

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 7

 

                Well Hello and welcome to Week 7. This week we should start to tell what is going to happen this season. As usual we need to tell you who are Bye this week; first off the Philadelphia Beagles are off, as well as the Tampa Bay Yuccaneers. So let’s get this started Expo. Let’s do it!!!

 

                As we start we find the New England Patriots inviting the NEW York FOOTBALL JETS for an AFC East Tilt. There is an old saying that goes; you can’t win kicking fields goals when the other team is scoring touchdowns. Now if you want to play the age old game of my kicker is better than your kicker, then you might want to start watching Soccer, but we think that it only comes around every 4 years.

Final Score the J E T S 25 the Patriots 27. Asked after the game for his comments Bill Bella-cheat looked directly into the camera and with a strong resolved voice said “Nana Nana Boo Boo my kicker is better than you! Toe licker.” That seemed a little uncalled for didn’t it?

 

                Well we can only guess that the Manual Labor movement is over in Buffalo, as the Bills have found a new Quarterback. Kyle Orton has been pulled off the scrap heap and given new life to an old team. This new life brought a win at all cost mentality to a team that has been known for 0 mental toughness for a long time. We can only wonder how long it will be till Orton decides that Playing football in Buffalo doesn’t suit him and decided to retire to get what he wants.

Final Score the Viqueens 16 the Bills 17. And mainly what he wants is his money for nothing, and his chicks for free.

 

                So the savior for Chicago was to be Jay Cutler, the Quarterback that this week had a fumble, and interception, and 3 sacks. And in the first half looked like a lost puppy wondering the rough streets of sniff you butt town.  But these were the Olphins you were playing, and we know that they don’t play defense. So now we have to find something worse than Winnie the pooh’s because that is too good for you.

Final Score the Olphins 27 the … 14 we will find something worse, but until then remember that you still can’t spell C H O K E without CH can you ICAGO?

 

                Expo is this right? Do you mean to tell us that the Taints had a 13 point lead in the fourth quarter? They were leading by 13 points with less than 6 minutes to go? And they still lost? Are you going to sit there and tell us that Taints got kicked in their Taint again? Surely that must hurt? Well possibly the demise of the Taints was the Fact that REGGIE BUSH was in the house. Running like a man possessed. He had 4 carries for 10 yards. But wait, he had some catches as well. And with 5 catches and the winged feet of Mercury he gained 22 more yards.

Final Score the Taints 23 the Lions 24. Well it wasn’t the stunning performance of the greatest running back in the history of the NFL that led to the beating of the Taints. 32 yards wouldn’t beat anyone.

 

                Well now you have gone and done. Someone has gone and made Arron Rogers mad. And he is channeling his inter Peyton Manning and throwing touchdowns like he doesn’t have a Care in the World. And basically he doesn’t his smallish arms are throwing the ball around like he was Hans or Franz. At one point during the game, Rogers walked up to the line and yelled “Discount Double check Bitches” took the snap and threw a touchdown.

Final Score the Panthers 17 the Packers 38. After the game he was at his locker when he was asked about his performance, he replied “Have you ever seen anyone shove a Lizard up inside a caveman?? Next week. Then we will progress to the chick in the white pants and see if we can’t get a little grass stain on them… “Wow he sounds a little angry…

 

                So Marvin Lewis is the Second longest tenured Coach in the NFL. This just means that the owner doesn’t care whether his team wins or loses. And it looks like Marvin doesn’t care either. If there was ever a team that was less prepared than the Bengals it could only be the Raiders. So if everyone would look to Cincinnati and raise a fist and shake it at Marvin Lewis and the Bengals and scream you bunch of Bunch of Birth Canals.

Final Score the Bengals 0 the Colts 27. Great it has taken us several years to get the tiger strips off the trophy from the last time they won trophy.

 

                Okay so the Shehakws came east, home of the gateway to the West. Are you confused? Because it looks like the Shehawks weren’t sure if they were Covering a punt or watching a touchdown being scored on the other side of the field. And apparently it was both. So the Superbowl hangover is still on the Shehawks. And Coach Carroll isn’t sure what needs to happen.

Final score the Shehawks 26 the Ewes 28. If we may offer our humble opinion, how about you put some people on the punt team who could, oh we don’t know how about watch the ball in flight.

 

                So Alex we will take obscure Washington Redskins Quarterbacks for a 1000? Okay Name the Former Texas quarterback thought to be out of the league, and was out of his league while in the league. Buzz… Who is Vince Young? Oh no sorry. Buzz. Who is ELISHA Manning? Sorry that is not it either. Buzz. Who is Johnny Clipboard?  Oh I am sorry. None of you are correct. Do any of you watch Washington?

Final Score the Titans 17 the Deadskins 19. And if you have Colt McCoy on your Fantasy football team, you get a gold star, if you had him starting, you should quit Fantasy football because you suck.

 

                So if you were waiting for Jacksonville to win a game the wait was over. Brownstain Quarterback made an Ass out of himself twice this week. First by saying that if Johnny Clipboard was on the team next year, he didn’t want to be. And second he lost to the second worst team in the league. With only the Raiders worst. WE guess the Brownstains can’t be too far ahead of these two teams.

Final Score the Brownstains 6 the Jaguars 24. We are going to insert a joke here. Raider VS Brownstains. And Loser takes the first pick in next year’s draft. Oh wait that might not be a joke.

 

                Okay we get it. Atlanta is just latest in a long list of Teams that are claiming to be bullied by the Ravens .someone has to do something about it. After the game in the tunnel going back to the Locker Room, Falldowns head coach Mike Smith was found knocked completely out and lying on the cold floor. Someone finally drug Coach Smith into the Locker room, thank goodness it was not by his hair.

Final score the Falldowns 7 the Ravens 29. Really we don’t know what happened, can someone please get the video surveillance coverage from the tunnel.

 

                Okay so the Chiefs had the ball more than a quarter longer than the Super Chargers. Ran More than 20 more plays than the Super Chargers. And the Chiefs outgained the Super Chargers by over 100 yards. And still needed a Field goal with 4 seconds to go to beat the Super Chargers. Anything else?

Final Score the chiefs 23 the Super Chargers 20. Suddenly we are sick at our stomach.

 

                The NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS came to Dallas to play the Cowgirls. We think we have a pretty solid theory as to why the cowgirls are playing better. We feel that this Ebola Scare has started to grip the NFL in Fear. No wants to be in Dallas, or play the Cowgirls. So we thought we would give you a public service announcement to keep you and your family Safe from Ebola. 1. Do not Kiss, on the lips, and/or exchange any bodily fluids with Jerry Jones, or any other members of the Cowgirls players or coaching staff.  2. At the first sign of Fever, be it “Saturday Night Fever” or otherwise, quarantine yourself for 21 days, even if it means that your back up has to play.  3. Primates and Humans are the only species that can pass the Ebola to one another, so to protect yourself, don’t have sex with Monkeys, Gorillas, Chimpanzees, or Ostriches.

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 21 the Cowgirls 31. Even though Ostriches are not on the Primate list, no one should be caught have sex with an ostrich, it is just wrong.

 

                Lastly the Day games of Sunday are over. And the Raiders have a new cheer. And it goes a little something like this: “We sure Suck, Yes we do. We sure suck. Till we’re blue”. The cheerleaders are at least trying. That is more than we can say for the team.

Final score the Cardinals 24 the Raiders 13. Now if the Raiders would just try a little harder…

 

                And now the Sunday night Game where Peyton Manning became the Greatest Touchdown Pass throwing Quarterback in the history.  After the catch all Peyton wanted was the football, but the receivers decided to play Monkey in the middle, and Peyton was the Monkey. After the game Peyton was sitting in front of Locker, when he heard that old familiar ring on his Cell. “When the Saints come marching in” As he picked it up the call he said “Yo Pops” “Peyton this touchdown Record is going to make you more famous than me.”  “Well Dad, you know that there is another Quarterback in the family.” To which Archie Replied. “If you mention her Name I am going to hang up on you.”  “Dad you can’t be like that, he loves you just like I do.”

Final Score the 49ers 17 the Bronco’s 42. Three Little beeps then a dead phone was all Peyton would get. And as he looked around the ball he treasured so was ushered away headed to Canton Ohio.

 

                And finally on Monday the Houston Texans Travelled to Pittsburg, for a showdown. And this time it was like a showdown in the old west. You know where one gang was at the corral and the other gang came walking in. Then shots get fired, you don’t know who shot first, you just want in on it; but suddenly you are out of bullets and you decide to throw you gun at the enemy.  And then while you are grabbing for you knife to stab someone, you get shot.

Final Score the Texans 23 the Steelers 30. Funny thing is that football is always 60 minutes, if you don’t play 60 minutes, you generally lose. And for 4 minutes in the second quarter Houston didn’t play, and Pittsburg did, scoring 24 of their 30 points. Sad…

 

Well that will do it for us this week. We hope that you have enjoyed this as much as we have…

And remember like we always say…

 

I stay out too late, got nothing in my brain
That’s what people say, that’s what people say
I go on too many dates (laughs), but I can’t make them stay
At least that’s what people say, that’s what people say

But I keep cruising, can’t stop, won’t stop moving
It’s like I got this music in my mind saying it’s gonna be alright

Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

I’ll never miss a beat, I’m lightning on my feet
And that’s what they don’t see, that’s what they don’t see
I’m dancing on my own, I’ll make the moves up as I go
And that’s what they don’t know, that’s what they don’t know

But I keep cruising, can’t stop, won’t stop grooving
It’s like I got this music in my mind saying it’s gonna be alright

Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

I shake it off, I shake it off
I, I shake it off, I shake it off


Hey, hey, hey, just think while you’ve been getting down and out about the liars and dirty, dirty cheats of the world you could have been getting down to this sick beat

My ex-man bought his new girlfriend
She’s like “oh my God”, but I’m just gonna shake
And to the fella over there with the hella good hair
Won’t you come on over, baby, we can shake, shake, shake

Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake, fake, fake
Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
I shake it off, I shake it off

I shake it off, I shake it off
I, I shake it off, I shake it off