Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 6

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 6

 

                Okay well here we go, week 6 and you know what that means right? We only have 11 weeks left in the regular season. Oh no…  but let’s get to who is not playing this week, Kansas City is not playing because they are watching baseball, and the New Orleans Taints are not playing either. So let’s get to who is playing. Expo Kick it…

 

                First up we have the Thursday night affair. A tilt between two Juggernauts that could not be contained on a regular Sunday game, these two teams had to hash out their differences on the football field in Prime time, on Thursday. So the Indianapolis Colts ran up the score to 24 to nothing in the first quarter before Houston decided to get on the board. So we think that everyone had stopped watching the TV or they were looking for the Big Band theory.

Final score the Colts 33 Houston 28. It was good game; really… no not really, we flipped over to see what Sheldon and Amy were doing…

 

                First up on Sunday, we go to the Battle for First place in the AFC East. This battle ground is nearly as old as your as your aunt, and almost as ugly. For 54 years the Patriots and the Bills have poured their hearts and souls into 2 games every year. And for most of the Patriots have had the upper hand. But this year was going to be different. This year was going to be the year of the Bills; this was going to be the year that the Bills fought for their Dead owner, Ralph Wilson. But this is also the year that the folded like a cheap suit again. They left the home crowd in ruin as they walked off the field behind from Start to finish.

Final Score the Patriots 37 the Bills 22. Yes bills Fans that bad taste in your mouths is another loss to the Patriots. But hold your head high, you weren’t the worse team on this weekend.

 

                Next up we head over to Ohio and a Cat fight. So do you remember going to a family reunion, and you really didn’t want to go? But it was yours mom’s side and they were okay, but you really didn’t see them very often? So you sit on the couch in the Family room, and there isn’t a TV anywhere in sight. But what does come into view is the Good looking girl, so you get up the nerve to talk to her while you are both getting a piece of cake. She laughs at your jokes and tells you she thinks you are cute and you and her go outside and talk some more. Over by the Big Pecan tree, you lean in and she leans towards you and finally, your lips meet, it is electric. Then your mom calls for you and you know you have to leave.

Final Score the Panthers 37 the Bengals 37. And then your mom tells you she is so happy that you and your Cousin Angie hit it off so well. And how no wanted to even talk to her since she had her surgery. And suddenly you remember not seeing your cousin Andrew… what bad luck…

 

                So as with all the games that the Steelers play, they kick a field goal then lull the other team to sleep, they lull the audience to sleep, they lull the announcers to sleep. But this was not to be this week. Oh Pittsburg kicked their field goal, but they were the only one that went to sleep, it was as if they were standing on the sideline waiting for Johnny Clipboard to come into the game. 

Final Score the Steelers 10 the Brownstains 31. Oh my.

 

                If you watched this game, we are sorry. If you paid for this game, we are sorrier. If you bought tickets for your friends to go to the game, you are the sorriest. In an incredible game of anything you can do we can do worse the Jaguars proved to the worse in this game.

Final Score the Jaguars 14 the Titans 16. This game was like watching two babies trying to pull a pacifier from one another, but not as cute.

 

                So what have we always said… you can’t win a game in the NFL if you give the other team  the ball 3 times, and you don’t take it away, Anyone want to ask the Olphins how this works? Ryan Tannehill showed us again why he is having his sophomore slump in this is third season, as he still can’t find the magic from his rookie season. And the Olphins, still can’ play defense.

Final Score the Packers 27 the Olphins 24. You give up a touchdown with 3 seconds to play? Really?

 

                Wow when this game first showed up on the schedule we thought wow, the greatest running back in the history on the NFL, going against the Greatest NFL Running back, what a match up. What we got was a something more akin to monkeys flinging poo at the Zoo. The Lions proved again that they are king of the jungle.

Final Score the Lions 17 the Viqueens 3. Hey Expo Are the Lions King of the Jungle or king of the Poo tossers??

 

                If the next game was to prove who the best Quarterback in the NFL is, then it is definitely not Geno Smith.  Poor Geno Smith or should we say that Geno Smith is poor. After Peyton threw is 3^rd touchdown for the day he came to the sidelines and noticed that his mom was in the stands, he went over to her and asked what was happening? She said that she and Archie had come “To town to hopefully see at least one Manning play decently in the crap hole of stadium.”

Final Score the Bronco’s 31 the J E T S 17. We have heard, but we can’t confirm it, it is only a rumor, but Geno Smith might have pretty feet?

 

                Next up the Ravens bullied and slapped around the Buccaneers. This was not even a close game. It was like a huh? Hum? Oh, a Mauling, yea. Right a mauling. Certainly that can’t get us in trouble can it? So this Mauling happened in Tampa Bay and hum… well Baltimore should just go back to Baltimore and leave the Buccaneers alone please.

Final score the Ravens 48, the Yuccaneers 17. Quote the Ravens again, this will never happen again.

 

                Next we have a couple of teams going in different directions. The San Diego Super Chargers are going up, and Oakland Raiders are going to the bottom of the river is they keep playing like this. While this game was competitive, it was still a game with the Raiders, so you knew they were going to lose right? Are we right? Right?

Final Score the Super Chargers 31 the Raiders 28. We heard the new Raiders Cheer goes something like this. “We are the Raiders and we suck, yea, we know it!” it might not be as good as last years “Just suck baby, but the cheerleaders are trying.

 

                Can someone please wake up the Falldowns? This is 2014 not 2013. If they continue to play like this the whole coaching staff is going to be fired.  And then the overhaul will start. A new Quarterback, and new kicker, no more Ryan brothers, no more anything. Well at least they might win more than a couple of games a year.

Final Score the Da Winnie the Poohs 27 the Falldowns 13. Oh don’t worry we didn’t forget about you Pooh’ s we are just giving you the week off because you did what you were supposed to do.

 

                So here we are again at the crossroads of sanity and insanity. Which way will we go? Washington is well Washington, maybe the loseingest franchise in the last few years. Then you have the Cardinals, and well they are Cardinals. So during the coin toss the referee showed the captains the coin, explaining how this was heads and this was tails. He flipped the coin both teams called heads. The coin turned up tails and both team left the field thinking they had lost the toss. It wasn’t until later that the referees explained that Washington had been the only team to lose the coin toss.

Final score the Deadskins 20 the Cardinals 30. It turns out the Deadskins lost more than the coin toss, they lost the game.

 

                And finally what do we have here? The Cowgirls travel up to the northwest to pay the Shehawks, in what would be called America’s game of the week. It looks like the Cowgirls got out of Dallas just before the outbreak of Ebola, but their play the last few season has caused some vomiting. Toni is working his October Magic and he has turned this city into believers. Jerry is happy in the Suite, and Jason is coaching his little heart out. This game should never have been close as the Shehawks blocked a punt for a score, got a muffed punt for a score and took an errant snap in for a field goal. That accounted for 17 of their 23 points.

Final Score the Cowgirls 30 the Shehawks 23. Nice game Dallas, but there is an ill wind blowing after Thanksgiving, so let’s see how you down after that.

 

                Finally like the song says we have been waiting all day for Sunday night.  This was a pivotal game in the NFC East. A Classic Showdown that had played out so many times before. Classic doesn’t even begin to describe this game. We need a much bigger word than Classic. Expo what do you have?  What? Classicism? Perfect!!! We love it! That word, that is what this game was Classicism. After the game in the Locker room Coach Tom was sitting in his office when a knock came on the door, it was a young boy, who asked coach if he was down and sad after the game? Coach Tom looked at the young man and invited him to come around his desk and get real close Coach Tom asked him “Son what do want to be when you grow up?” The boy replied “a Quarterback.” Coach Tom said “Then Drink Plenty of Milk and take your Vitamins and grow up to be real strong.” A small tear rolled down coach’s face and the boy looked deep into the Man’s eyes, and said “Don’t worry Coach I will be better than Elisha.” “I know you will son, he didn’t set the bar very high did he” “But hey don’t start comparing me to her brother, that guy is Awesome.” Coach wiped his eyes, and tussled the boy’s hair and said “You just wait here till Elisha comes to take you home okay?”

Final Score the Giants nothing the Beagles 27. Damn it Elisha, you couldn’t must a field goal??? Oh and hell yea you are the Birth Canal of the Week. So enjoy it.

 

                And finally the Monday night game. we have to say that we didn’t even see anything about this game anywhere.  But see if we can get this without any help… STL got out to a lead, and then packed it in to do some late night looting in Ferguson, then slide down to protest a kid getting shot by police who had a sandwich right? Meanwhile the San Francisco scored like they were at the red pony on Guys night. The Ewes Came back to the game and kicked a field goal?

Final Score the 49ers 31 the Ewes 17. Oh and the Sandwich that kid had was loaded, because he has gunshot residue on his hands, Just for the uninformed masses, or the ones listening to the protesters and not the police.

 

Okay well that will do it for us today; we hope you have enjoyed this as much as well have.

And remember like we always say…

 

 

When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
'Til I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh

Do you, don't you want me to love you
I'm coming down fast, but I'm miles above you
Tell me, tell me tell me, c'mon tell me the answer
Well you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.

Now Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, yeah ...

a-Will you, won't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.

Look out!
Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, oooh...
Look out, 'cause here she come ...

When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide

And I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
And I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh

Well do you, don't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer

Look out!
helter skelter, helter skelter, helter skelter

Look out! Helter Skelter ... she coming down fast
yes she is
yes she is
coming down fast
oh now helter skelter ... woo hooo