Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week3

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 3

 

                So the plot thickens as we roll into week three. In the season of turmoil we hope that we can get the game out of the headlines and onto the field. Only time will tell. So let’s get going shall we, because we have a long way to and a short time to get there. So Expo if you would, let’s Kick this off right!!!

 

                First up, let’s talk about the train wreck that is the Tampa Bay Yuccaneers. Expert after expert after expect sad take Tampa Bay to make the Playoffs, they will be better than last year. Right? These are the Yuccaneers and nothing will help them, but a little motivation so here we go… Come on guys you can do it.

Final score the Yuccaneers 14 the Falldowns 56. That is all the motivation we can muster when you play like you played… Rah Rah Rah… you suck…

 

                So first up on Sunday we go to Buffalo where the Chargers came to town. Yes this old AFC Battle brings back memories of the Powder blue uniforms, and white helmets with the lone red Buffalo, which this game didn’t have. What it did have was a Charger team who came, played and won, even if they came across the country. The Chargers had 20 first downs, over 300 yards on offense and kept the ball for more than 30 minutes.

Final Score the Chargers 22 the Bills 10. At least the Bills are still atop the AFC East. But can they hold on to that for very long?

 

                So if we have this right, a Quarterback can come in to the take a snap from Center, drop back and heave the ball in to the third row of seats. Run back off the field, put a cap back on and grab a clip board and still get a 39.6 passer rating? While someone like Jake Locker can go through the meetings, practice and all the game prep only to run out on the field on Sunday and complete 17 passes out of his 34 attempts for 185 yards and 2 interceptions, and he gets a passer rating of 41.9. And the NFL is trying to tell us that 0 for 1 for nothing is only 2.3 Quarterback rating points worse Jake Locker.

Final Score the Titans 7 the Bengals 33. We don’t think that ol’ Jake deserved the 41.9, but apparently he can’t be much worse…

 

                Here we are again with the Art Modell Cup game. This game really turned on the Foot of Justin Tucker. He made all the kicks he need to win that game. Now how many you ask? 3 would be the right number. And why can’t Johnny Football get on the field in Cleveland? Because Brian Hoyer is playing his Ass off right now. But never fear the best thing Johnny football has going for him is that Brian Hoyer is the Quarterback. And eventually he will be on the field being Johnny football again, and not Johnny Bench.

Final Score the Ravens 23 the Brownstains 21. Hey Expo, did you hear that??? Johnny football is now Johnny Bench… what? Johnny Clipboard? Oh I might like that better…

 

                Well Green Bay rolled into War torn Detroit where they fans the Fans Chanting one name and one name only. REG GIE BUSH, REG GIE BUSH, REG GIE BUSH, and he did not disappoint. In a game that could be considered Season highs REGGIE BUSH amazed and incredible amount of yardage and kept the Packer defense off balance all day long. REGGIE had 12 carries for 61 yards and 6 Catches for 38 more yards, for a total of??? 99 yards almost a one hundo. After the game there was a knock on the Packer locker room door, since they were not expecting any company head coach mike McCarthy asked who was at the door. When he received no response he opened to the door slowly to find a golden trophy on a small wooden base. A note read thanks for all you hard work enjoy this as a token of our appreciation of your effort. The Golden trophy had a small patch of soft little fur, and the words Birth Canal Team of the Week, on the plaque on the front was all that Coach McCarthy saw. 

Final Score he Packer 7 the Lions 19. Congrats Green Bay. Okay someone better give the Packers a Discount double check.

 

                You know sometime Stats don’t tell the whole story of a game. Like this one, the home team gained 448 yards, had 26 first downs, had the ball for nearly 33 minutes, ran 20 more plays than the visiting team, and had fewer punts as well. But the visiting team on the other hand had three offensive plays that gained 132 of their 340 yards. The home team had a bobbled pass that should have been a touchdown and went for it on fourth down in the red zone instead of kicking a field goal.

Final Score the Cowgirls 34 the Ewes 31. Everything pointed to the Ewes winning in the Stats, now if they could just get their 3^rd string quarterback to learn how to win games.

 

                Welcome to Boston home of the Patriots, This was the weekend to celebrate Poland and all it has done for the NFL. And who would have believed that you had to be Polish to score in the game. One touchdown in the game credited to Rob Gronkowski, 3 field goals by Patriots Kicker Steven Gostkowski. Let’s get to Oakland scoring 3 field goals by Sebastian Janikowski.

Final Score the Raider 9 and the Pats 16. We heard that a lifetime supply of Polish sausage and pickles were given away to the last 25,000 who left the stadium. What? No Expo that is not where the term 1 if by Pickle and 2 if by Sausage comes from.

 

                Here is what you need to know about the next game. Adrian Peterson didn’t play for the Viqueens, and Teddy Bridgewater did. Teddy played more like Bilge water than anything else. The Aints were not going to lose this game. And they didn’t.

Final Score the Viqueens 9 the Aints 20. This game was like you were watching Jaws for the first time and just before you see the shark the film broke and you had to exit the theater. You knew something was going to happen but then it didn’t.

 

                               

                The sad thing about the next game is what we kind of talked about before. Shane Leckler got in to the ball game and threw one pass. It gained 10 yards and he has a quarterback rating of 108.3. What the hell is going on? Is this some sort of Metric Quarterback Scale? Ryan the Drunken Fitzpatrick showed why he is playing in Houston, as he threw 3 interceptions. And JJ Watts did what he could, with 5 tackles and a sack, and one batted down pass. He solved the New Jersey turnpike scandal, and found where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, but he can’t do it all.

Final Score the Texans 17 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 30. And was ELISHA’s Mom happy? Yes, his dad however was not…

 

                 Next up the Washington Deadskins went to the town of Brotherly shove. This turned into a real barn burner of a game. With guys running up and down the field scoring like they were the only Rooster in the hen house. But alas we did have some fighting. Okay when the a Quarterback throws an interception are they supposed to throw up their hands and start screaming at the receiver who probably ran the wrong route, or do you try to get close to the person that intercepted the ball and maybe push him down? But the NFL Rules say that if a Quarterback is hit while a change in possession play, then it is a penalty. Chris Baker of Washington you knew exactly what you were doing and you’re an ASS. Everyone who has seen it knows you are an ASS. And by the way, if you didn’t think you would be kicked out of the game then you are an ASS for thinking that.

Final Score the Deadskins 34 the Beagles 37. And Head coach Jay Gruden, Take to heart what America says to your Brother every week. SHUT UP.

 

                In what turned out to be a game that should never have been on the Schedule, the Jaguars invited the Colts to come to town, apparently they invited the Colts to pull down their pants, and spank them like they were 5. I hope that they don’t leave any bruises, because if they did then the League might suspend the Colts. Right not it appears that the Colts didn’t leave any marks. Key play of this game was when Jaguars Quarterback Blake Bortles passed to Cecil Shorts the III for the final score of the game. This happened with 18 seconds left to play.

Final Score the Colts 44 the Jaguars 17. Well maybe it wasn’t the Key play of the game but without it the Jaguars would not have scored 17 points. And we had to work a guy named Cecil Shorts in the Stroll this week…

 

                Can San Francisco only beat the Cowgirls? Right now it appears that is the only team they can beat. And they certainly could not beat the Ari-Freaking-Zona Cardinals with a backup Quarterback. Hell the Cardinals even let Ted Ginn throw a pass and it went for 10 yards. Before you say anything, he now has a 110 quarterback rating. For the love of Pete, 1 for 1 for 10 yards gets you over a 100 rating? Are you kidding us? But the 49ers are not looking very good so far. And the Cardinals are in first place in the NFC WEST.

Final Score the 49ers 14 the Cardinals 23. We just threw up in our mouths…

 

                In an old AFL Matchup the Kansas City Chiefs finally get off the shynde and put together a good game. But it was against the Olphins. And once again the Olphins showed how Alex Smith can be made into a great quarterback. In this league it is hard to give the ball away 2 times and win. Especially when you don’t get a turn over, but the Olphins just keep showing us the unprecedented.

Final Score the Chief 34 the Olphins 15.  Is the Ryan Tannehill experiment over yet?

 

                And now we get to the Superbowl rematch or preview. And the outcome was the same. And when we say the same it was not a 30 point drubbing, this game went into overtime. It seems to us that a while back like a few years ago, the NFL changed the rules so that one team couldn’t get the ball on the kick off and pick up 2 first downs then kick a field goal and win the game. Oh wait Jim and Phil mentioned that about 60 times in the 6 minutes that the Shehawks were driving down the field.

Final Score the Bronco’s 20 the Shehawks 26. It looks like the best Quarterback on the field was Jermaine Kerse. Who was 1 for 1 for 17 yards and a 118.8 Quarterback rating.

 

                And the Sunday night is finally upon us. And upon the Panthers is what the Steelers were. They Ran upon, around and through the Panther Defense like they weren’t even there. Pittsburg usually waits till the end of the game to run a kicker out there to win, but this week it looks like the Steelers wanted a little more. And they certainly got it. This game was over at halftime.

Final Score the Steelers 37 the Panthers 19. It was over at halftime, but not before Chris Collinsworth said something stupid. That happened before the opening Kickoff.

 

                And the final Game of the week on Monday was summed up on the first play from Scrimmage. As Geno Smith dropped back and threw what appeared to be a simple pass, it was intercepted and ran back for touchdown. The J E T S couldn’t dig themselves out of a hole and it was over practically before it started. Luckily that meant we didn’t have to listen to John Gruden much.

Final Score Da Bears 27 the J E T S 19. After the game when Rex Ryan was asked how it felt to have an interception on the first play of the game. He said “Well it was a lot like having a Bears foot in your mouth the whole game.” Oh Boo Boo what have you done???

 

Well that will do it for us this week. We hope you are enjoying this as much as we are…

And remember like we always say…

 

Comin' to ya on a dusty road
Good lovin' I got a truck load
And when you get it you got something
So don't worry cause I'm coming

I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man

Got what I got the hard way
And I'll make it better each and every day
So honey don't you fret
'Cause you ain't seen nothing yet

I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
Play it Steve!
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man

Listen
I was brought up on a side street
I learned how to love before I could eat
I was educated from good stock
When I start lovin' I just can't stop

I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man

Well grab the rope and I'll pull you in
Give you hope and be your only boyfriend
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
You're a soul man
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man
I'm a soul man