Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 2

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 2

                Hello and welcome to Week 2. After last week we had nearly half the teams that were over 500. And now after this week, we only have a few, a very few. Last week we ended up with about half the teams under 500. I wonder if it will stay that way. Well there is only one way to find out. Expo Kick it and let’s find out!!!

 

                First off we start on Thursday in what can best be described as Domestic Gate, as the Steelers rushed into Baltimore for the game of their lives. And it looks like their best game was left in Pittsburg. Honestly if we could say that Baltimore slapped the Steelers around we would, but we are afraid of the FCC censoring us. So we will just say that after the game when both coaches were asked how they thought the game turned out the Steelers coach didn’t say anything they just looked down at the floor. And the Ravens coach said this was a onetime thing, we have never done this before and will not do it again we promise. 

Final score the Steelers 6 the Ravens 26. The Steelers did take this week’s Birth Canal team of the week trophy and all the parting gifts that come with it like, shame, self-loathing, and a feeling that this might happen again.

 

                Now to Sunday and we head to Buffalo, home of the 1 and 0 Bills. This game was for first place in the Mighty AFC East, because the winner of this game was going to have a share of this Division. Now have you ever seen a Dolphin egg? Well the fans are looking for it out on the field. Basically this game came down the golden foot of Dan Carpenter who accounted for 17 of the Bills 29 Points. 5 field goals and 2 extra points. And if you count the 6 points that came on a kickoff return, you could say the Bills offense laid the egg.

Final Score the Olphins 10 the Bills 29. Hey if they aren’t going to play defense in Miami then we shall call them Olphins…

 

                Well was it too good to be true? Week 1 the Atlanta Falcons played like it was 2012, this week they played like 2013, or 1978, or 1986. But it was the home opener for the Bengals and they were excited. But if your opponent isn’t going to play up to their potential, then we say, you be the hammer and let them be the Nail! The golden arm of QB Brother Matt was on display for all to see as he had 1 touchdown and 3 interceptions.

Final Score the Falldowns 10 the Bengals 24. We really only have one word for this game yuck or you could pick one?

 

                Could someone please tell the Brownstains to just stop it? Who said they were supposed to beat the Aints? We know that the Aints are ready to break out in the NFL this year. And based on everything we have seen, New Orleans should have won this game. There is only one stat that could have proved to be the point that could turn the game into Cleveland’s favor. Johnny Manziel got in for a play and threw an incomplete pass.

Final Score the Aints 24 the Brownstains 26. Yes that means that when Johnny Manziel gets into a Cleveland game they win…

 

                Next we head to Nashville where the Titans were looking forward to a 2-0 start. But what they didn’t count on was the Playing like they had the last 2 years. We could say that the Cowgirls ran all over the Titans and with 220 yards we would be pretty close. But we would also be pretty close in saying that Tennessee looked like it couldn’t punch its way out of a wet paper sack.  Jake Locker played more like a guy from the Foot Locker instead of the savior for Tennessee. As The Cowgirls saw last week it is hard to win when you give the ball away 3 times.

Final Score the Cowgirls 26 the Titans 10. It kind of makes that game last week more of the exception than the rule huh?

 

                Wow this week the Viqueens hum, suspended Adrian Peterson for week 2 for Child abuse. They lost. So Adrian Peterson is back on the team again for week 3 the the NFL said No not this week and suspended him again. There is nothing right about this, and therefore we will not make any comments. There is no thin line between Child Abuse and discipline. That line is wider than the Space between Earth and the moon.

Final Score the Patriots 30 the Viqueens 7. Nothing else to say.  

 

                Now on to New Jersey, What else do the fans of the giants have to endure? They are in last place in the NFC East. The have a Head coach who is resting on his past glory and they have a Quarterback that is… oh wait they don’t have a Quarterback they has an Elisha. Who sometimes plays more like a girl than boy. After the Giants finally took the Lead the 2:03 left in the third quarter, they fell apart.  At one point in the Fourth quarter Elisha looked to the sidelines for help from his Head coach. But old Tommy C just looked disinterested. It seems like the things that make him happy now are collecting his Paycheck and being able to make Poo in the morning.

Final Score the Cardinals 25 the Giants 14. The Freaking Cardinals scored 25 points, do you know how hard it is to score 25 points and win? It isn’t hard against the Giants.

 

                Has anything happened good in Washington lately? Can they do anything right? So Robert Griffin the 3 came into the season with a promise to be better than he was last year. It looks like his promise should have been to be better than Vince Young. With a bum knee, and now a dislocated ankle, the questions are starting to mount up as to when he will be healthy. We fear he may never be healthy again, and that will just another in the long line of Quarterbacks that played great in the Big 12 and couldn’t play in the NFL. But we digress, there is a quarterback in Washington who can play, and it is Robert Griffin the 3’s Cousin Kurt. He was fantastic.

Final score the Jaguars 10 the Deadskins 41. What?? Is name is Cousins? Kurt Cousins? And he is no relation to Robert Griffin the 3? Really?

 

                Oh how the mighty have fallen. The Lions were riding high after a Monday night win against the Hapless Giants last week, only to be brought back down to earth by the Carolina Panthers. Defense is the name of the game in Carolina, and Defense is what they put on the greatest Running Back in the history of the NFL, REGGIE BUSH. If the Game plan is to use REGGIE BUSH and open up the Offense, then he might need more than 6 carries. But those 6 carries were productive. For all you fantasy lovers out there what does 6 carries for 26 yards do for you huh? And don’t forget about receiving. Ol’ REGGIE BUSH had 2 catches for 6 yards. So 8 touches for what 32 yards?

Final Score the Lions 7 the Panthers 24. Is that the kind of production that burns the other Fantasy League Owners or what?

 

                Talk about how the mighty have fallen. The Seahawks went to sunny southern California and got trounced. But the score wasn’t not as close as it appeared. No really the Referees made a mistake in the Shehawks favor and the NFL came back and announced that after the review on Monday of the Review on Sunday, Percy Harvin’s foot was out of bounds, and the touchdown should not have counted. If it shouldn’t have counted then maybe we should take it off the score board, after the fact. Or maybe just take it away from his stats. But one thing you can’t take away from was the fact that no one on the Shehawks could cover Antonio Gates, but then who can in this League.

Final Score the Shehawks 21 (14) the Chargers 30. And yes Richard Sherman, we didn’t forget about you, if you want to talk to media when you think you did well. Then you must talk to media, when they know you didn’t.     

 

                Up next we get to the Buccan Game. And for what we ask you? no really why would we talk about this game at all.

Final Score the Ewes 19 the Yuccaneers 17. Really this game should have been due to weather. Whether anyone cared… lol

 

                Is there anything on God’s green earth worse than listening to Jim Nance and Phil Simms talk on Sunday Afternoon? Well we guess Thursday night would probably count. As if the world’s problems weren’t enough with the crisis in the Middle East, the Crisis at the border with Mexico, the Crisis in the Ukraine, and now the crisis in Denver. The Main problem is that CBS has the rights to the Denver Bronco’s games. Denver is a huge draw because of Peyton Manning. So CBS wants to make the Denver Bronco’s the number one game every week. Enter Jim Nance and Phil Sims who would prefer to see the Bronco’s get beat every week. It is almost as if Phil Simms was some spare to fair average quarterback back in his playing days, and doesn’t like the fact that Peyton Manning maybe the greatest quarterback alive. Well back to the game.

Final Score the Chiefs 17 the Bronco’s 24. The fans of Denver have started a Petition to get Jim and Phil off their telecasts; we have signed it and we want Jim and Phil off of television totally.

 

                Before we get to Green Bay we have to tell you few things. Only the Head coach can call a timeout from the sidelines, only a captain on the field can call a timeout. And only the referees can grant a timeout. But if you were a Jets fans on Sunday and you were not sure who the head coach of your Jets is, Let us tell you it is the toe licking Rex Ryan, not the Marty Morning after wig. But the referee doesn’t know who is yelling for a timeout from the sidelines. But the fans know who was.

Final Score the J E T S 24 the Packers 31. We were going to go to the next game but Expo called a timeout so we have to go to commercial.

 

Hello my name is John Madden boom. And when you are going to be kissing the girls’ Brett Favre, you better have some tough actin’ Tanactin. Boom Brett Favre ha look at the sweat on that girl Al. Hey  Pat is that you? So get Brett Favre’s favorite Tanactin at Ace hardware. Brett is that you??

 

                Okay so we are back and we are in Oakland, so if last week wasn’t impressive enough for you how about this week when JJ Watts, came up with the defensive game plan. He set the land speed record for men over 250 lbs. He charmed 2 cobra snakes into giving up their venom for free, caught a touchdown pass, read a book to some 1^st graders, Married 2 gay couples at half time, made all the beds in a homeless shelter, signed the petition to ban Jim Nance and Phil Simms from football completely, Rode an elephant from Oakland to San Francisco for charity, then let the elephant ride on his back for the return to the stadium for even more charity.

Final Score the Texans 30 the Raiders 14. He even had time to swim to Alcatraz and back.

 

                Next we get to Sunday night where the word of the night was turnover. In San Francisco the king of Turnovers was Collin Kaepernick. With 3 interceptions and a fumble, and a Penalty for abusive Language, that is not away to make the little fans look up to you. Da Bears took the gifts like they were from Santa Claus and never looked back.

Final Score Da Bears 28 the 49ers 20. There is an old adage in football that goes something like this: those who the turn the ball over like hot potato, usually end up sour cream on fingers. Well that might not be it, but it is close… Expo, can you look that up…

 

                And finally we get to the game on Monday night. Jon Gruden is unwatchable and unlistenable as a commentator. His words could take the wind out of the sails in a hurricane. So with that said we should just get to the game Andrew Luck has not lost 2 games in a row since he was in College. The Last time he lost 2 games was when Arizona State and Nick Foles beat him. So that might be your stat of the year. Nick Foles has now beaten Andrew Luck for the second time in a row twice. In what is truly a game of halves Philadelphia wins the second half twice in a row, but they better start winning some first halves as well…  

Final Score the Beagles 30 the Colts 27. Gloom Despair and agony on me… if it weren’t for bad Luck the Colts would have none.

 

Well that will do it for us this week; we hope you have enjoyed this as much as we have… And remember like we always say…

 

 

               

I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day 'til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty except for the memory
Of how they were not answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're not the one I want to go through time with