Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 17

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 17

 

 

                Well it is a sad day as the regular season that now has come to a close. But just as some things close other open up and now we get to the second season, The Playoffs. We will talk about that next week so let’s get to this week. So Lefty can you get us going? Kick It!!!

 

                First up we go to Pittsburg and find the Squealers in a playoff mode. They had to win and hope for some help. It seems to us that if you can’t do it by yourself then you must have needed to win a few more games during the season. But the Brownstains did what they do best. They came, they played and they lost. We sure do hope that they get back to the team bus before they fire their coach?

Final Score the Brownstains 7 the Squealers 20. So after the game the Squealers and their fans started to cheer for Kansas City, wonder if that went well?

 

                Up next let’s get to what may have been the biggest waste of the weekend. One thing made this game interesting. Would Houston win, or would former Houston win? Oh wait that really wasn’t interesting. We can say that each week we write somewhere in the neighborhood of 2000 words and far too many of them are spent on Houston. So we will say fourteen.

Final Score Houston 10 the Titans 16. 14 in row now, that is great, except this is 14 losses in a row. And that is what we call Wade Phillips pathetic.

 

                Isn’t it funny how all the talk of Washington’s name died down with the death of the team? At 3 and 13, do you think that the fandom still wants to change the name? Or do they now want to change the coach? Looks like that will happen as well. But is this a tough NFC East matchup for last place. So who could have imagined what we got? While Mike Shanahan may be heading out the door, the Birth canal of the week trophy is coming in. Thanks Washington.

Final Score the Feather not Dot Native Americans 6 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL BLUE TEAM of Average or less than average size 20. We got crap in this game. Crap Crap Crap. And the tallest pile of crap is Elisha. 18 touchdowns and 27 interceptions. Wow now we see why his father doesn’t care for him…

 

                So all that had to happen was to win, last week and then win this week, and you win the AFC East. So what did the Dolphins do? They got beat last week, then came out and played like chum. If your quarterback can’t outplay Geno Smith, then you maybe Jason Campbell or Ryan Tannehill.

Final Score the NEW YORK GREEN TEAM 20 the Dolphins 7. What we have to say about this game can’t be said here, we are censored by a government office.

 

                Ok for years we have made fun of these two teams and it is getting harder and harder to make up jokes about them. Our comic genius is lacking for sure. However there is really not anything funny about this game except these stats. 14 Rushes for 32 yards with a long of 8 so really 13 for 24 yards. 5 catches for 33 yards with a long of 19. So really 4 for 14 yards with a touchdown that ends up not being the winner.

Final Score the Lions 13 the Viqueens 14. This was the last game in the Metro dome. Thank God. Too bad it is not the Last game of a couple of other people.

 

                Finally the Jaguars season is over. Well it has really been over for several weeks now. And the Colts have been in the playoffs for several weeks now. So what else is there to say about this game?

Final Score the Jags 10 the Colts 30. Let’s see what happens next.

 

                So all Baltimore had to do was keep winning. Keep winning and you keep playing, that is the playoffs right?  As long as you keep winning you get to keep playing. And Baltimore showed that last year as they won the last game of the year. This year they played like they had tomorrow, like the sun would come up tomorrow. And after this game there are nothing but tomorrows for the Ravens.

Final Score the Ravens 17 the Bungels 34. The Sun may come out tomorrow, but that little red headed girl better start singing someplace other that Baltimore.

 

                Keep winning and you keep playing. Sound pretty good right? Carolina keeps winning and they will keep playing. The Falldowns put up a good Fight, but just like the rest of season. They just fell down.  So Carolina keeps winning and they get to keep playing.

Final Score the Panthers 21 the Falldowns 20. Will the Falldowns keep their coach??

 

                So we all know that no one Wants to go to Seattle to play, so did anyone think that the Ewes were going to go to Canada and win? We didn’t either. The Ewes are a different team without Slingin Sammy Bradford, and they showed that the 7 or 8 games that he was out. So take your second pick in the draft and do something with it, maybe next year you can get to 8 – 8.

Final Score the Ewes 9 the Shehawks 27. So the Superbowl goes through Seattle, what a terrible direction to get to New Jersey.

 

                Let’s see if we can set this scene for you, 4 seconds on the clock you line up for a field goal. You understand? Then your kicker blows it. Or maybe the wind blows it just outside the uprights. So you go to over time and lose. Not a big deal right? Except that all of the fans of the Pittsburg had their hopes on you making that field goal. Then 2 days later the referee’s come out and say oops. Sorry we missed that the defense had too many people on one side of the ball. But it didn’t affect your chance so we are not going to do anything about it.  

Final Score the Chiefs 24 the Super Chargers 27. And all the Pittsburg fans are sad, and is that a bad thing? We think not.

 

                Where is the uproar? Where are all the people who want only the best teams in the playoffs? Where are all the people who are screaming to let a 10 -6 team into the playoffs? Well considering that the team with 10 wins that aren’t in the playoffs is the Cardinals, and then everything is just fine we think.

Final Score the 49ers 23 the Cardinals 20. All is well again this season the Cardinals are watching at home.

 

                Time for the Buccan game. And with a coach’s job on the line, the Buccaneers showed what they will do to keep their coaches job. They went out and scored 17 whole points.  Isn’t that great? You might beat a team with 4 maybe 5 wins right? But you are not going to beat a team with 10 wins like say New Orleans.

Final Score the Yuccaneers 17 the Aints 42. Well they did everything they could do to play at home, let’s see how it works out for them.

 

                In a game that mattered only to those in the north East we find that the Bills went to Boston. But they didn’t play well. We wonder if we would have put money on Thad Lewis out playing Tom Brady how much would we have won. If you look at these stats Lewis had 16 completions for 247 yards while Tom had 14 completions 122 yards. Could this be the year the Tom starts his decline?

Final Score the Bills 20 the Patriots 34. So tom still won the game, but he was outplayed we think.

 

                So the White Bronco finished out his season has the greatest Quarterback of all time, in touchdowns, yards, and love from his father. What a year for the White Bronco. But what we can say is that the White Bronco did get to play both teams in Texas and the Raiders twice this season. And that should help everyone to a record of some sort’s right?

Final Score the Bronco 34 the Raiders 14. Just Suck Baby!!!

 

 

                Well finally the season was going to end for one of these teams and who would it be? Would the Packers come to Chicago and win? Or would the Bears rise up from their cave and rip the Packers a new backside evacuation hole? Well sometimes the more things change the more they stay same. And if you have ever thought about playing defense, or wanted to play defense or watched anyone play defense, what do you never do? You never let them get behind you when you don’t have safety help. Well let’s just say that you don’t have safety help.

Final score the Packers 33 the Bears 28. If you Score with 33 seconds to take the lead in the game you are going to win most of the time.

 

                Here we go the game everyone was waiting for. NBC flexed this game so they could watch the Cowgirls go down in Flames again. Except that Tony Ohno was at home nursing a bad back, he had surgery on the Friday before the game and this game would not be same except that maybe it was. So the great Kyle Orton came back to the starting role and played well. But allow us to point a couple of things. 1 when you can’t make the throw to the sidelines on the out route you are in trouble. Please don’t let someone who says he knows what he is talking about to tell you that the receiver has to bail out the quarterback on that throw.  We would like you to run full speed one direction and twist open your hips and try to catch a ball behind you. What Chris Collinsworth said was stupid. Jason Witten had as much of a chance of catching that ball as Drew Pearson did.  And Drew wasn’t on the field. 2 if you throw an interception in the final 3 minutes of the game while you are behind trying to drive for the winning score, then you will lose. You will probably end up 8 – 8. You will probably miss the playoffs again. And you will probably need a new Team to cheer for.

Final Score the Beagles 24 the Cowgirls 22. We found it interesting that while the Starting Quarterback was home nursing a Post surgically repaired back that his wife was in a suite having double vodka with a twist. Maybe she was there to see how well Kyle Orton was going to play?

 

Well that does it for this season. We have enjoyed putting this together for you and yours. We hope that 2014 brings you everything you ask for…

And remember like we always say…

 

The Cardinals are charging
Let’s cheer them on their way
Let’s shout out with all our might
We’ll show ‘em how a team can fight
For victory and glory
Will make our joy supreme
The pride of Arizona (all St. Louis)
Our Arizona (St. Louis) Cardinal team