Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 7

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 7

                Is this week 7 already? We guess so. So we better get started quickly before the wall comes crashing down. Before we get going we have two teams that took this week off. It will be nice to not have to talk about the New Orleans Saints this week, or the Oakland Raiders. So lefty are you ready? Then proceed my good man, Proceed indeed.

 

                First up this Thursday experiment of the NFL is something that needs to be looked at. Are we worried about player Safety or not? Or are we just lining the pockets of the NFL and its owners? We have heard talk of another game on Thursday night to start after this game finishes. So in order to do that, a game would have to be something on the West coast, nothing this week except the game in Arizona, and boy did that one stink? But it would have stunk on Sunday, because the Cardinals were playing. So the question should now be are we watching the decline of Carson Palmer, or have we already seen the decline. Is there anything sadder than watching the mind want to do something that the body just will not do? Watching poor Carson Palmer is like watching a hungry tiger keep missing his prey.

Final Score the Shehawks 34 the Cardinals 22. Well this is now sad and pathetic. Carson Palmer used to be good, and he should know when to give up.

 

                Does anyone ever watch a Jacksonville Jaguars game anymore? We could have asked what happened but the answer would be the same.  They came, they played, and they sucked.  Any questions? We are now looking for new names for this franchise. And so far this is what we have come up with: The Jacksonville Anchors, the Jacksonville Sludge, the Jacksonville Giants, oh wait we can’t use that one.

Final Score the Chargers 34 the Jaguars 6 or What about the Jacksonville we used to good but now we suck and we don’t know why.

 

                What do you say if we just stay in the south? How about we head down the Miami for a little fun in the sun and Find a rough AFC East Matchup. The Bills, stood up and fought, and fought hard. Which was good, 15 first downs, and winning the turnover battle, will get you a piece of pie in the locker room after the game almost every time.  But kicking a field goal with only 33 seconds on the clock will be a winner most of the time…

Final Score the Bills 23 the Dolphins 21. Is it funny to anyone but me, how the Bills play pretty well, when not in Buffalo?

 

                Oh my goodness was this a matchup for the ages? The Cincinnati Bungels went to Detroit in what turned out to be a major Cat fight. How did anyone survive? Let us just see what the greatest running back in the history of the NFL did in the nip and tuck game. REGGIE BUSH had 20 carries for 50 yards. That can’t be right can it? 20 Carries for 50 yards? Well he caught some passes didn’t he? Ah okay here you go, 3 catches for 44 yards. Whoop Whoop!!!  After the Game he was asked about this huge cat fight he was just in. “Well I don’t know about a cat fight, it wasn’t like we were fighting over a tuna sandwich. MMM Tuna Sandwiches are great aren’t they, I remember when I mom used to make tuna Sandwiches and then she would put them little fishes on it. What do you call them? No not anchovies bigger than that. Sardines, yea. Momma used to put sardines on my tuna sandwiches to keep the girls away.” He said. “Except for that girl with the big booty, her breathe was as bad as mine.”

Final Score the Bungels 27 the Lions 24. Wow this was a real game; this is what football is about. Ending on a field goal with no time left. Sweet.

 

                 So we guess all that had to happen was that the Falldowns needed to play the Yuccanneers. We guess that everyone should play the Yuccanneers a couple of times a year. Why can’ they be everyone’s Homecoming game. Oh we guess that everyone’s homecoming Queen can be Mike Glennon right? Looks like his fumble in the 1^st quarter sealed his fate, and the game.

Final Score the Yuccanneers 23 the Falldowns 30. Ha, put some lipstick on a pig what do you have? Well you have a pig with makeup on. You want to Kiss me pooger pooh?

 

                We know that this is going to be hard to Believe. But we are going to tell you anyway. If we told you that the J E T S were going to win this game, you would have thought we were foolish. If we told you that the J E T S were going to go to Overtime with the Patriots, you would have thought we were crazy. Well call us a Crazy Fool, because that is what we are saying. We Believe in, Ghosts, the tooth fairy, Elvis is dead, and the only thing a politician is interested in is getting re-elected.

Final Score the Patriots 27 the J E T S 30. Okay we don’t believe Elvis is alive, or that the J E T S will win another game in the month of October.

 

                Up next in America’s game of the week we find, 5 turn overs, 5 sacks, 17 penalties accepted, and 18 Punts. Wow this game was like playing golf with a dead guy. Hit the ball drag Fred, hit the ball drag Fred.  You know with the thirty ranked defense, and thirty second ranked defense you would expect a low scoring game right? Well the Beagles knew that when they ran Matt Barkley out there that it was only a matter of time.

Final Score the Cowgirls 17 the Beagles 3. After the game, Beagles head coach Chip Kelly had this to say, “I would like to say thank you to all the fans of Punts, for this award I hope we can win a few more. Does everyone have their shoes on? Something stinks around here.”

 

                Word around the league on Sunday night is that the only thing hated worse in Chicago than Jay Cutler is Josh McCown.  So what does the team do when Josh McCown come into the game? Well if you are Chicago you lose. It wasn’t so much what the Feather not dot Native Americans did as it was more about what De Bears didn’t. After the game there was a meeting at the Chicago Bears Local 297 facility in which the entire voting union discussed and took a vote on whether Josh McCown would be allowed to stay on the team after the injury. There were some compelling arguments most of which ended with Da Bears digging a deep hole in front of his locker and lining the  bottom with sharp sticks so that if Josh does come back he will be impaled.

Final Score Da Bears 41 the Feather not dot Native Americans 45. We can’t even report what da Bears have planned if Cutler tries to get back on the field.

 

                Okay so on Sunday the game between the 49ers and Titans went off without a hitch. The only thing funny about this game is that there was nothing really funny. It was a classic game that showed the prowess of one team and ineptitude of another. If anyone thought that there was a chance that the Titans were going to compete in this game then we have some Ocean front property in Kansas that we would like to show you. As well as possibility of owning your own island in the San Francisco Bay. The Island has a multi-level home that has a lot of rooms, not a lot of Showers, but is very open air with a large yard. Privacy walls were a must for the previous tenants and they are still in place.

Final Score the 49ers 31 the Titans 17. Alcatraz is beautiful on those summer mornings while watching the Fog roll in.

 

                When the season starts we always like to look over the schedule and find those games that we know are going to be hard hitting, and actually mean something as we get close to midseason. So we circled this game on the schedule, got our popcorn and sat down to watch the newest classic of the Pittsburg Squealers and the NFL Champion Baltimore Ravens. What we were treated to was 7 field goals. Now 21 points is usually a good thing but 7 field goals is a different thing. We could have watched that in Warm ups. The 076 local Edgar Allen Poe Society is thoroughly disgusted with the Ravens game plans running game and the Fact that Joe Flacco is still allowed to Quarterback the team.

Final score the Ravens 16 the Squealers 19. Gees-o-Pete what the hell is the Edgar Allen Poe Society going to do? What? Yes we remember the tell-tale heart? Okay gotcha. Moving on.

 

                Most of the Games have plusses and minuses each week. Most of the teams try to maximize the Pluses and diminish the minuses. But in Houston it seem like they are doing the opposite. They are trying to maximize the minuses. We mean when you stand Matt Schaub, and TJ Yates and Case Kennom shoulder to shoulder you can see the differences. One is kind of cross eyed, one can’t look at you, because he seems scared like a baby deer, and one stands tall like he knows how good he can be, and is ready to show the world what he can do.

Final Score. The Texans 16 the Chiefs 17. Who would have thought that Case Kennom would be your man! Let us see where he goes.

 

                The more things change the more they stay the same. Who would have thought that the Brownstains could continue to play as well as they did. Come on man this is October. But gray skies are going to clear up, so put on a happy face. Brandon Weeden’s days are numbered in Cleveland. Who will be next on the list? We are not sure, but God please don’t let it be someone like Jason Campbell. Maybe they well throw Weeden to those Sharks REGGIE Bush talked about a couple of weeks ago.

Final Score the Brownstains 13 the Packers 31. We are not even going to comment on those terrible uniforms that the Packers were wearing. And why isn’t anyone offended by the name the Browns?

 

                  And Sunday Night was the game that Tony Dungy had been waiting on all day. It was even in the pregame song. He’s been waiting all day for Sunday night. So the White Bronco headed to his old stomping ground and played like this was a playoff game. He played great then lost. Like he does on most of his first round playoff games. Now most of you are saying how can that be? You must be crazy. But we say check the stats In the 12 years that he has made the playoffs he lost in the first round 8 times. 8 for 12 is great if you are playing baseball but this is football playoff time.

Final score the Bronco’s 33 the Colts 39. After the game Bronco’s Head coach John Fox was asked ”What does the Fox say?” he didn’t answer so we guess the Fox says nothing.

 

                Finally on Monday night we have what could have been the worst game on the schedule it is a shame that neither one of these teams had a win on American soil. The Viqueens only win was in London. Let’s look at what happened. The only thing worse the Elisha’s play until Monday night was Josh Freeman’s. His play was so bad that the Yuccanneers cut him after a couple of games. So why didn’t Elisha get cut? Mainly because he has 2 Superbowl wins in his pocket. Elisha had a wonderful day going 23 of 39 for 200 yards. While the greatest running back in the NFL had 13 carries for 28 whole yards. Wow now that is production you expect from the MVP of the league?

Final Score the Viqueens 7 the NEW YORK BLUE FOOTBALL TEAM of people of average size or less 23. Yahoo! Finally a win on American soil, well it was New Jersey if that counts as America.

 

Well thanks for sizing this week up as we keep rolling on. We hope that you had as much fun reading as we did righting.

And remember like we always say…

 

Hail, Hail, the gang's all here to yell for you,
And keep you going in your winning ways.
Hail, Hail, the gang's all here to tell you, too,
That win or lose, we'll always sing your praises.
Go, You Packers, Go and get 'em.
Go, You fighting fools upset 'em.
Smash their line with all your might.
A touchdown, Packers, Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight on, you Blue and Gold* to glory,
Win the game, the same old story,
Fight, you Packers, Fight
And bring the bacon home
To old Green Bay.

 

*Green Bay Colors were Blue and Gold in 1931.