Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 6

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 6

 

Okay so here we are in week 6 one third of the way through the season, and let us just say it has been a good one so far. We have a couple of things to put to bed before we start, who is not playing this week? Well the Falldowns will not be playing this week and neither will the Dolphins. So with that out of the way we should just get started. So Lefty if you will get us started we can go…

 

                There is a trend in our little part of the world, and it pains us to say it, but there is all manner of destruction going on. We have people that are downright disrespecting the very foundation to which NFL teams were built. Team names have become so controversial that the Supreme Court may just step in. Soon we fear all the nick names will be gone.  This doesn’t affect just football, but all sports in general, and not just the professional leagues, but all the way down to tot leagues. In this country when has the desire of the few outweighed the desire of the rest? (We will not say majority because there are too many people that just think this is ridiculous)  Yes we have made jokes here and will continue but until apples are compared to apples not oranges then we will have no peace. We have watched the debates, we have heard the arguments, and we have talked to those of that ethnicity and found that most of them would like the others to hush. Mostly you don’t have a dog in this hunt, and until you do, sit down, bit your lip and keep quite. We actually read an article where Crazy like Fox became offensive to Foxes because their feelings were hurt being labeled as “Crazy”. Where “Drunk as a skunk” was Offensive because it is demeaning towards skunks. Let us just say that with nearly 7 billion people on this little rock anything someone says or does will become offensive to someone.  . Sure people did bad things in the past, all people make bad choices, if not how would we learn? So we say Stop Bullying. Stop trying to make us think like you. And at what point does your constant screams of offensiveness become offensive? Does anyone think that the word Yankee is offensive? Well it has been offensive since the 1700’s and we think they should change it. It is demeaning to those from the north. Let try to change their name to the Carpet baggers. And the Dodgers of Los Angeles? Isn’t the origin of that name for the people who dodged the crazy trolley drivers, does anyone know what a trolley is anymore? We bet you didn’t know that know that there is a team in College whose nickname is the savages? There is always going to be something that is offensive. We changed a Team name in Basketball? Does anyone remember the old Washington Bullets? They are now the wizards and we all know that Bullets are far more offensive than Wizards right?

 

 

First up on Thursday we had the classic matchup of two old school NFL teams, and what a game. The New York Giants tried to climb the Beanstalk but alas they fell again. There is now a ground swell of support from the Unionized group of Giants (those people who stand more than 7 feet tall) Chapter 1. Their charter was written so that if anyone slanders the good name of Giants must have their bones ground into power to make their soup. They are calling for the immediate stop of the use of the nickname Giants as it is offensive to have a team playing this poorly. Therefore we will now have to call the blue team from New York something else.

Final Score the NEW YORK BLUE FOOTBALL TEAM of average size or less 21 Da Bears 27. Wonder what Elisha will do next?

 

                On Sunday Cincinnati headed up north to Buffalo. The fans Buffalo were treated to a few things this week. Things like overtime, can extra time be bad? They were treated to a practice squad Quarterback which was not great. After the game the Local Union of Bison/Water Buffalo decided that they had never had anything as offensive as this season since Fred Flintstone was head Water Buffalo. They are now protesting the name Buffalo.

Final Score the Bungels 27 the team that should be moving to Toronto 24. We think that might be best for everyone involved.

 

                So the worm has finally turned on Matt Schaub. We knew that this day would come; we didn’t know that the people of Houston would storm the house of Schaub with pitch forks and flaming torches. Then we found out the Frankenstein’s the world over were up in arms that they were the only ones to be scared with fire and forks. Well the Texans did complete an NFL record by throwing a touchdown pass to the other team in 6 straight games. Way to keep the faith T.J.

Final Score the Ewes 38 Houston 13. After the game a representative from the Frankenstein’s was asked for a comment. “MMHUMM DDDOHH MMIMMNND”. That doesn’t sound good if you ask us.

 

                Okay so it was a terrible situation in Minnesota this week, and we can only say that a man who kills a baby is no man at all. He is the lowest form of human being ever fashioned. Some things just can’t be forgiven and this one happens to be at the top of our list. Baby Killers have a special place in hell, and we personally think that when they get there, we hope that the devil craps on their head for all eternity. Is that what you wanted here Lefty? So that is okay? Okay just checking, this message was approved by every decent human being who can still draw a breath. For the game we don’t know how but Adrian Peterson had 62 yards on 10 carries. And for this week that is good. Not sure how he got out there at all.

Final Score the Panthers 35 the Viqueens 10. The Vikings have been distancing themselves from Minnesota for a while now.

 

                Well we knew it would happen sometime. So it finally did happen. The Squealers finally put one in the win column. But look who they beat, the team formerly known as the J E T S. the entire Airline industry is against the J E T S, not only the pilot’s but the Mechanics, the stewardess If you can call them that, and several ticket agents came out in protest of the NEW YORK GREEN TEAM. The sad thing heard from the Stands is that even the Fans want them out of New Jersey.

Finals Score the Squealers 19 the NEW YORK GREEN TEAM that nobody wants. 6.  After the Game while Head coach Rex Ryan was holding this week’s birth canal Team of the week trophy he was overheard asking if anyone would notice he is rubbed the trophy on his wife’s feet. And the answer is yes you sick Son of B….

 

                Technically it was a comeback win. But this is the Beagles we are talking about, and they were behind at halftime. So when Tampa Bay could not hold on to the lead with their quarterback Mike Glennon was any one surprised? We weren’t but the Pirates Local 322 got real pissed and if they have to endure another game like this there will be more rape and pillage happening.

Final Score the Beagles 31 the Yuccaneers 20. Really 3 points in the second half is all you could do? Maybe Glennon will be the first one on the Rape schedule.

 

                Next up in the topsie turvie Sunday Afternoon we find Oakland heading east to visit the Kansas City Chiefs. We can’t deny that Andy Reid has his Chiefs playing well; did anyone see the opening of the game? There was this rumble, the ground shook, and it was like someone had been fracking right under the Stadium. It just got louder and louder. Then the fans noticed that is was coming out of the tunnel. Then a chat comes from the crowd, small at first and it gets louder and more audible, until… Out pops Andy Reid out of the Tunnel and the Crowd in one joyous Toned yelled out “Hey Kool Aid!”

Final score the Raiders 7 the Chiefs 24. The Raiders Local 227 has already filled a grievance and is waiting for their day in court. Just Suck Baby!!!

 

                And all the way back to the right coast again; the Ravens of Baltimore invited the Packers of Green Bay for a visit. This was an entertaining game with both teams marching up and down the field with 15 punts. 15 Punts? What the Hell? 15 punts? Was this a Punting contest? No it was a football game, the only that could make this game worse is if Tony Seragusa was commenting in that way that he does? Like “hey Moose, I know you guys are up in the booth but did anyone just see that punt? Wow it was wonderful.”

The Final Score the Packers 19 the Ravens 17. So the Ravens get a pass because they won the Superbowl, but that will not last forever.

 

                Well we see that someone was able to stop the Brownstain roll. And who was you ask? Yes that is right the mighty Detroit Lions. And their Superstar REGGIE BUSH. Who just happens to be the greatest running back in the history of the NFL. REGGIE had 78 yards rushing on 17 carries, not too bad. On top of that he caught 5 more passes for 57 more yards. Which makes a total of 135 yards a wonderful total considering that the team gained a total of 366 yards total. After the game REGGIE was asked if this was his first time in Cleveland, to which he answered, “No, I think I have been here before? Isn’t the Rock and roll Hall of fame here? Then yea I was here before, I came on a recruiting trip up here but their stadium looked like it was going to fall off in that Ocean over there. So I told them I would not play up here. I think there are some sharks in that water over there.”

The Final Score the Lions 31 the Brownstains 17. The Brownstains fell into some old habits as Brandon Weedon was on the field again this week.

 

               

In another example of teams not wanting to play in Canada the Titans of Tennessee went to Seattle. Tennessee Titans union didn’t realize that the game would have to be played like it was. Zeus was quoted that if the NFL doesn’t change the rules to stop the game after three Quarters then he would send some lightning bolts towards the headquarters. Poseidon said “Damn we make it rain there nearly every day, what else can we do?” So as you can guess the Shehawks pull out another game.

Final Score the Titans 13 the Shehawks 20. Titans were Gods, but in our Atheistic world we live in a God doesn’t stand a chance in this world.

 

                So the worst offender of the weekend has to be up next. How is this happening? Zoos all over the country can’t get their Jaguars out of their cages. They are lethargic and disinterested in most things going on around them. They don’t eat. When asked for a comment the president of the local 222 in Jacksonville said that we are on a hunger strike until we get better results from Head coach Gus Bradley. We will let the populations of Antelope, and gazelle go wild till we get what we what.” In other news he also said the following about Peyton Manning “I heard that Peytonhe taught a German Shepard how to bark in Spanish. And that even his Enemies list him as an emergency contact.

Final Score the Kittens 19 the Broncos 35. We heard that Peyton Manning once had an awkward moment just to see what it felt like.

 

                   What do you get when a Hurricane ravaged team heads to the home of Nor’easters? A game that they thought they won until Tom Brady and mighty band of misfits hits the field. Why do we have to be the one who keeps saying, DO NOT LET THEM BEHIND YOU. Damn if nothing else don’t let them drive the length of the field and score with 5 seconds left. Hey Rob Ryan why would you let Bill Bella-cheat do you that way?

Final Score the Saints 27 the Patriots 30. So now when someone asks you Who dat think they going to beat them Saints. You look them in the eye and say the Patriots dat who.

 

                Is there another team that has the Pope Cheering for them? What about every cardinal in the world? That is right the 49ers. The Diocese of the world has given up on the Cardinals and they now cheer for the team that the Cardinals are playing.  You can play like they have and expect to keep their fan base. President of the College of Cardinals had this comment “We have been sending up white smoke for years now and except for that one year we are totally disgusted with their play. Now we know how the altar boys feel.

Final Score the Cardinals 20 the 49ers 32. We says that they know that the Altar boys have to clean up after each mass, and make sure the church is ready for the next Mass. Oh wait did you think we were talking about something else?

 

                Final on Sunday night we find that this game is made up of 3 phases. Offense, defense, and special teams, and when we mention Special teams they are pretty much special. Even Washington’s Coach couldn’t help tackle Devon Harris as he went down the sidelines on the punt return for a touchdown. Or the Kickoff that nearly scored as well. What? No we heard Al Micheals and Chris Collingsworth both call him Devon. So his name is Dewayne Harris huh? He sure does have a lot of hair huh?The people that hate the Washington nickname sure got a kick out of Bob Costas standing up for those that can’t stand, for fighting for those that can’t fight, and for giving a voice to those who can’t speak. Oh wait they have been standing fighting and yelling for a while now. So thanks for nothing Bob.  And did anyone see that huge mirror out in front of the Death star. We think that there is a requirement that the announcers mention Gene Jones before the 7:30 mark of the first quarter, then 3 more times before the end of the first half. And show Tony Ohno’s wife 5 times in the first half as well.

Final Score the Feather not dot Native Americans 16 the Cowgirls 31. We want to officially thank Bob Costas for helping us turn the channel to the baseball game. Once your rant started we left.

 

 

On Monday as much as we like Adam Venatieri, and as much as we like to watch him kick the ball, we can do that during warm ups. As Jon Gruden said at least 15 times “This is the greatest Monday night football game in the history of the Monday night that ended with 7 field goals. 7 field goals. Wow is that great or what. These Kickers really came to play” too bad that we can see that on a random Sunday afternoon in April on the CBS Sports spectacular. What we want is a football game. But I guess with all the excitement of the weekend Monday night would a downer.

Final Score the Colts 9 the Chargers 19. Good God who had 9 and 9 on the board and did it pay forward and backwards.

 

 

Well that will about do it for us this week; we hope you have enjoyed this as much as we have.  Sometimes life gets in the way, and drags us down a little.

And remember like we always say…

 

 

 

 

 

Pittsburgh Steelers, Pittsburgh Steelers, Cross that goal
Pittsburgh Steelers, Like free wheelers, Roll, roll, roll
Bring us victory and joy will be supreme
And win more fame with ev'ry game
You Pittsburgh Steelers team

Go, Go, Show 'em how a team can fight
Go, Go, Fight with all your might

Pittsburgh Steelers, Pittsburgh Steelers, Cross that goal
Pittsburgh Steelers, Like free wheelers, Roll, roll, roll
Bring us victory and joy will be supreme
And win more fame with ev'ry game
You Pittsburgh Steelers team