Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 4

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 4

 

We have another week and another full slate of games. So we shouldn’t waste a lot time. But we do have to tell everyone that sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes people leave, and other times people come back. But no one really knows when. So Lefty can you get us started please?

 

First up on the docket is a good old show down of NFC West Foes. This was a battle for second place early in the season, as the San Francisco 49ers and the Ewes of St Louis squared off.  So we have always said that these Thursday night games are a bit of a challenge. Not everyone is getting the NFL Network on their cable provider. So it only makes sense that when the game starts at 7 pm, 1 field goal in the first quarter makes it difficult to hang in there for the whole game. But let’s see if we can find anything in this game, hum okay here it is. 18 punts in one game is downright terrible.

Final Score the 49ers 35 the Ewes 11. Really 18 punts? Were the teams even prepared? Maybe they need a couple more days to get fully prepared?

 

                First up on Sunday, the Shehawks traveled to the great state of Texas to take on the best football team in the state.  The Houston Texans awaited the Shehawks and allowed them to stat to the game with a score. Then the Texans went to work. They scored on 4 straight possessions, to head into halftime with a 20 to 3 lead. Then the Mighty Texans came out in the third quarter and went punt, fumble, punt, punt, interception returned for a touchdown to tie the game, punt. Then in overtime guess what they did?

Final Score the Shehawks 23 the Texans 20. That is right they punted the ball. Hardest working man in Houston we guess is their punter.

 

                Is Hell freezing over? We can’t figure out what is happening, dogs and cats are living together, it is mass chaos. Da Bears came to the town once known a Detroit. Let’s take a look at the Stats of the greatest Running Back in the History of the NFL.  REGGIE BUSH had  18 rushes for 139 yards.  4 catches for 34 more yards. Now that is what we call production. After the game someone asked REGGIE BUSH what happened during the game that caused him to run so well? “Well I heard the Lane Kiffin got fired from U$C and I thought that meant that my coach would get his job back.” Huh did you know that Coach Carroll is coaching in the NFL in Seattle? “What? There is an NFL team in Washington?  I thought that was only the Huskies and like the Beavers that played up there? Is that in Canada?”

Final Score Da Bears 32 the Lions 40. Hey can someone get REGGIE a map of the United States please?

 

                Next up the “Battle of Ohio”. Did anyone ever call this game the battle of Ohio before us? We don’t remember, but we sure do hear it now. It is an amazing that a battle like this can bring out the best in both teams. One team had over 300 yards in offense, 18 first downs, and no turnovers. The other team ran a kicker out on the field TWICE.

Final Score the Bungels 6 the Brownstains 17. The kicker is your best player? That is what you send out to represent your team. He is a captain too right?

                Sometimes the schedule maker just gives us a game that doesn’t make sense. Too bad this one comes around twice a year. And just isn’t fair. So let’s all stand up and face the Birth canal and give a hearty high five to this week’s Champion. Fans, if there are any know them as the Jacksonville Jaguars we know them as our favorite little patch of soft fur.

Finals Score the Colts 37 the Jaguars 3. Wow 3 more points than last week’s BCTOW.

 

                So the next game had two teams heading in different directions. The New York Football Giants and the Kansas City Chiefs, now we think you can guess which team is going in which direction. The only think that makes any sense to us is that someone told the Giants to go to Hell, and Damn if they aren’t doing it. Sometime maybe a couple of years ago, it looks like the Giants made a pact with the devil. And now they are paying their debt. We wonder who might be behind this fall. We wonder who might be the one who talked the Devil into the pact.

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 7 the Chiefs 31. Can Elisha be any worse?

 

                Well let’s talk about the Buccan Game for just a minute. Okay that should just about do it.

Final Score the Cardinals 13 the Buccaneers 10. Insert your own joke here.

 

                Okay let us get this straight. The Ravens went to Buffalo to play the Bills? And they lost? What the Hell? These are the defending Superbowl champs for God’s sake. Checking out the game we think we know why. The Delaware Destroyer Joe Flacco thought he would fake out the Bills and throw the ball to them. Guess what they caught it 5 times. That makes 5 interceptions for the Buffalo Defensive back field. While E J “Manual labor” could only get his receivers to catch 10 of his passes.   And that about sums this one up.

Final Score the Ravens 20 the Bills 23. Really? 10 completions? Was this an 8^th grade game?

 

                In the history of all history, England has sent many things to this great country. They sent settlers; they sent us taxes that were too high, they sent the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, David Beckham. And countless other things including Benny Hill as well. And what did we send them in return?   We sent them home in the 1700’s; we sent them troops in World War 1 and World War 2. Then we sent them the Sopranos and now finally we sent the cream of the NFL. Two teams in an epic struggle, trying to relive a super bowl long since passed. Yep we sent the Squealers the Viqueens. It will be a wonder if they don’t start a war with us?

Final Score the Squealers 27 the Viqueens 34. We will only say this once. God save the Viqueens.

 

                Okay so you threw 2 interceptions, fumbled the ball twice, and got sacked 5 times to lose 50 yards of offense. And you want us to comment on your play. It seems like you got the old Dirty Sanchez my friend.

Finals Score the J E T S 13 the Titans 38. Hey at least you were on the field. Being held down and getting kicked in your Howard Stern Private Parts doesn’t matter, no does it. You were on the field.

 

                   Rule number 1 in Football teams can’t travel across the country and Win unless you are playing the Cardinals or the Raiders. Here is to hoping that the Feather not Dot Native Americans got back before the government shut down. They had to get back to their Tee Pee’s and check in on their little papooses. Oh wait…  Hey Lefty who wrote this? Well it might just get us in trouble.

Final Score the Feather not Dot Native Americans 24 the Just Suck Baby Raiders 14. Never mind the FCC is probably shut down too.

 

                In the next Game the White Bronco invited the Beagles to his Home. He served some appetizers then proceeded to throw more touchdowns than anyone in the history of the NFL. During the press Conference after the game Beagles coach Chip Kelly was asked what he thought the most impressive feature was from the other team. “Well” he said “’their Quarterback maybe the greatest human being alive .I heard a few facts about him before the game and they all proved to be true. Did you know he speaks fluent French, in Russian? He is just so cool out on the field he makes ice jealous. He goes to the Dollar store with only .50 cents in his pocket and comes out with change and a basket full of stuff. He is just amazing he can serve sizzling Fajita’s barehanded.”

Final Score the Beagles 20 the Broncos 52. Wow we wonder if his brother feels inferior.

 

                Several years ago there was a team that would win a game and lose a game then win a game then lose one.  This year’s team is the Cowgirls. They have won a game then lost a game then won a game then they lose again. People are asking where the Cowgirl running game went against the Chargers, and we contend that the running game was a product of the Ewes not the Cowgirls. This week without the Ewes to run past they lost again. In a mighty game of keep away the Chargers kept the Ball away from Romo and the girls. Too bad an interception or two would have added and interesting twist to the game.

Final Score the Cowgirls 21 the Chargers 30. But alas the only twist in this game came when Danny Woodhead scored two touchdowns.  And who the hell names their kid Woodhead?

 

                And then the Sunday night game was supposed to be the game the Atlanta stood up. Well leave it to Bill Bella-cheat to bring it down. This game wasn’t as bad as the civil war, but it was close. For all we know Tom Terrific set Atlanta ablaze like those dirty Yankees did back in the 1860’s. So New England is 4-0 and the Falldowns are 1-3 isn’t that the way it should be?

Final Score the Patriots 30 the Falldowns 23. When do the Falldowns play the Yuccaneers?

 

                And finally the Monday night game, this game had everything except the following: A blocked punt, a blocked field goal, a safety, a black out, a tour of the stands, something at the concession stand beside Live Crawfish and Urine sprinkled popcorn. So maybe it didn’t have everything. Cheer frm the stands were heard all over the field, like “hey defense block like you want some shrimp gumbo.” And “Ohh it is raining points in here like Katrina. Who dat?”

Final Score the Dolphins 17 the Aints 38.

 

Well that will wrap it up for us, and like we said sometimes people go and sometimes they come back. We will see you next week on the Stroll.

And remember like we always say.

 

  I think I'm gonna be sad
I think it's today, yeah
The girl that's driving me mad
Is going away

She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

She said that living with me
Is bringing her down, yeah
For she would never be free
When I was around

She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

I don't know why she's riding so high
She ought to think twice
She ought to do right by me

Before she gets to saying goodbye
She ought to think twice
She ought to do right by me

I think I'm gonna be sad
I think it's today, yeah
The girl that's driving me mad
Is going away, yeah, oh

She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

I don't know why she's riding so high
She ought to think twice
She ought to do right by me

Before she gets to saying goodbye
She ought to think twice
She ought to do right by me

She said that living with me
Was bringing her down, yeah
For she would never be free
When I was around, oh

She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
But she don't care

My baby don't care
My baby don't care
My baby don't care
My baby don't care

My baby don't care
My baby don't care