Stroll down the NFL Boulevard

Week 3

 

                Here we are again. Week 3 is upon us. Working us into frenzy with the possible match-ups. And the possibilities are endless, possible Superbowl matchups, possible division champions match ups. It is as endless as a 16 game schedule can be. So without further ado Lefty would you please get us started? Kick it like only you can.

               

                First up we find that Thursday night game. And will you look at this matchup. The Chiefs come to Philadelphia to play the Beagles.  And if anyone knows the Beagles it would be the fit and trim Andy “Panda” Reid. Wow did anyone see Coach Panda this week? He wasn’t in the Big all Red suit like last week. But it was something big, oh and just so that everyone knows when you turn the ball over 5 times, it is hard to win. And the Beagles are having a hard time winning a game.

Final score the Chiefs 26 the Beagles 16. We can see why Coach Panda left Philly. And it looks like enjoys that KC Bar-B-Que a little too much. Oh wait we thought that was rib bone in his mustache.

 

                    Apparently Arizona thought that they had the low down on the Aints. If you score first they will quit. They will just lie down. So the Cardinals huffed and puffed and blew with furious anger. But these are the Aints, and unless you a blowing like the Katrina hurricane then you are really sucking. And that is what the Cardinals were doing sucking.

The Cardinals 7 the Aints 31. But when do the Cardinals do anything but suck?

 

                It looks like to us that the San Diego Chargers think that they can win playing only 3 quarters. But you can’t even win against the Titans playing 3 quarters. Here was the most interesting fact of this game; for 20 straight games or some such, the Chargers had beaten the Oilers at home. Which we thought was rather funny, because the Titans don’t play in Houston. But they used to. They were the Oilers, they used to play in Houston, and another little fun fact kids. They used to play in the Astrodome. Well the streak is over.

The Final Score the Chargers 17 the Houston/Tennessee Oilers/Titans 20.  Stay classy San Diego.

 

                Oh My Goodness is there a better 1-1 team in this league than the Green Bay Packers. When they headed to the road to head to Cincinnati they thought that this game was in the bag. They thought so even when they spotted the Bungels 14 points in the first quarter. Then they decided to kick some field goals and score a touchdown to take a 16 to 14 lead. They would even go ahead 30 to 14 in the third quarter, just before the unthinkable happened. What they thought would never happen, did. The Packers watched helplessly as the Bungels scored, scored, and scored.

Final Score the Packers 30 the Bungels 34. We guess the Packers needed a discount double check.

 

                So are we the only people on the planet that saw what happen at the AT&T Death-star. The Ewes came to town, like lambs to the slaughter. And DeMarco Murray was like Slaughterhouse killer. In two games against the Ewes in 3 years he has rushed for like 425 yards. Against the rest of the league he has rushed for like 8oo yards. So why would everyone say that all the Cowgirls need to do is run the ball more? When what they really need to do is play the Ewes about 6 times a year. 

Final Score the Ewes 7 the Cowgirls 31. So what has 22 legs but can’t run? The Cowgirls against any team, other than the Ewes.

 

                Well this is getting to be so fun. Every time the Viqueens think that they have a game in hand they lose. Ha. Mr. NFL Running Back carried the ball for 25 times for 88 yards but he had a fumble. That will not get him in the hall of fame. Looks like his pre-game meal should not have consisted of a butterfingers, and greasy foods. The Viqueens played the Brownstains, and it looks like the listened to us, as they traded their Running back, and left their starting quarterback on the bench. That was what caused so much confusion on the Viqueen sidelines. After the game Peterson was asked how they could lose to a team like Cleveland. “Well they are a professional team I think, and it looked like we had them until just before the opening kickoff then man I couldn’t tell you what happened. But it doesn’t look like we won.”

Final Score The Brownstains 31 the Viqueens 27. Snatched another loss for the gentle bite of victory!!! Ha ha ha …

 

                Let’s get to the Buccan game now. All you really need to know about this game is that the Yuccaneers came to Boston, and they became a candidate for Birth Canal Team of the week.

Final Score the Yuccaneers 3 the Patriots 23. Another win for the evil empire that is Bill Bella-cheat.

 

                Well we should look into our Nation’s Capital. And Find Mr. Robert Griffin the 3. The Lions Counted with the greatest running back in the history of the NFL REGGIE BUSH, the 1 we think. So let’s check the stats. Griffin the 3 threw for 326 yards and fumbled once, he also rushed for 6 times and fumbled again. And what did REGGIE BUSH do? He rode a bicycle on the sidelines, because he is hurt.

Final Score the Lions 27 the Feather not dot Native Americans 20. We guess that less is more.

 

                 The cool thing about writing this each week is getting to watch these NFL teams rise. To build a team in the draft and through free agency, to become contenders. The team that is the in Vogue pick for everyone to pick is Houston Texans. But until they can learn how to win and maybe beat Baltimore, then they are destined to be the in Vogue pick for everyone to pick but never win.

Final Score Houston 9 the Ravens 30.   What else is left to say? Rah Rah Boo!!!

 

                There a few things as important as the relationship between a son and his father, the love between the two can and will always be remarkable. So as Elisha Manning was getting dressed after his shower on Sunday that old familiar ring came from the top of his locker. With a boyish smile he reached up and answered the phone while it was sill singing when the Saints come marching in. “Hello Dad, I didn’t have a very good game but I will get them next week.” His smile started to retreat to a frown as others could hear. On the phone was a rousing chorus of Watermelon Watermelon Watermelon Wine, Look on the score board and see who behind. This not only was a finalist for the Birth Canal Team of the Week. But it was a winner as well.

Final Score the New York Football Giants 0 the Panthers 38. The Panthers for God’s sake scored 38 points on you and your team couldn’t score anything? Really?

 

                Next up something completely different. If we were to say that one team is say 3 and 0 and the other team is say 1 and 2. We think that you would probably say it is the other way around. But the Miami Dolphins in those crazy new helmets are going after the unbeaten record of 1972. So far they have won all of their games and lost 0. You remember zero right? Same number of point the Giants scored this week. Well the Falldowns now have some work to do. At 1and 2 they may have trouble getting to the playoffs.

Final Score the Falldowns 23 the Dolphins 27. Playoffs? Playoffs? Are you talking playoffs?

 

                Headlines in the Battle of New York which included Buffalo and the J E T S jets, jets, jets, was Rex Ryan may see yellow flags in his dreams. But we know what he really dreams about. Thais is right. Women’s feet. Old Rex like the women’s feet, little ones, and big ones, ones with Corns. He likes to look at them, rub them, and may have a nibble or two on them. And now that we have that image in your head, we want to tell you that it is all true, this is not made up.

Final Score the Bills 20 the J E T S 27. Please bring back the White Helmet with the Red Buffalo.

 

                    

                Next up the game that had 2 of the greatest Quarterbacks in the NFL, and who is hitting their sophomore Slump?  Could it be Colin Kaepernick? All he needed was a little luck. And that is what the Colts gave them. It looked like the Colt defense held Colin down and poured a little luck right down his throat. It could be heard all over the stadium when the Colt defenders were saying; you aren’t so tough now that you can’t beat the Shehawks are you!

Final Score the Colts 27 the 49ers 7. And of course we had to listen to Phil Sims talk about how great Tom Brady is without anyone to catch the ball. What a waste he has become.               

 

                Next we head to the great northwest home of that talented and drug free Shehawks. Well Maybe not drug free. But certainly far better than Jacksonville. Everyone wants to tout how great a home field advantage the Shehawks have because nobody wants to play up there. Well maybe it is because it sucks to be there. Quickly what do you think of when you hear Seattle? Quickly. Think about it. Rain? Right? Yes rain, and who wants to live in a rain forest? No one. Right again. So why would anyone want to play a game there? Most of the people at the game are Canadians who got free tickets and were told they could yell at Americans as loud as they wanted.

Final Score the Jaguars 17 the Shehawks 45. Rule #1 in the NFL is you can’t travel across country and win. And we still think Jacksonville is across the country for Seattle. But then isn’t everything?

 

                  

                Finally the Game everyone has been waiting all day for, The Sunday night game. We guess in our old age, after watching a Thursday night game, then a high school game on Friday night, then a day full of College football on Saturday, then three games Sunday during the day what we really wanted to watch was the a Sunday night game with a crew that can’t hardly walk and chew gum at the same time. All ESPN rejects. Is Tony Dungy the New Lance a lot link? Gees if Stevie Wonder is dressing him can NBC get him a mirror before the camera’s turn on? Damn son put a hat on. What? Oh yea the game.

Final Score Da bears 40 the Squealers 23. And that is all we have to say about that?

 

                And Lastly the White Bronco played a hard fought game on Monday night tortured by the voice of John Gruden we could only sit in silence. After the game the White Bronco had a familiar sound spring forth from his Cell phone. He answered with a hearty “Hello Dad. Yea we have some cleanup work to do. A few things out of place but we will work them out. Did you see Eli’s game? What did you say? You’re breaking up?  I think you said you only have one son? What?”

Final score the Raider 21 the Bronco’s 37. Just suck Baby. Just Suck Baby!!!

 

Well that will just about wrap it up for us this week. We hope you enjoyed it a little we hope you smiled a little. And remember like we always say…

 

Give me all, give me all, give me all attention baby
I got to tell you a little something about yourself
You're wonderful, flawless, ooh you're a sexy lady
But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh

I know that you don't know it, but you're fine, so fine
(fine, so fine)
Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Oh girl I'm gonna show you when you're mine, oh mine(mine, oh mine)

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you're my golden star
I know you could make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

oh oooooh

Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl you should be smiling
A girl like you should never look so blue
You're everything I see in my dreams
I wouldn't say that to you if it wasn't true

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh

I know that you don't know it, but you're fine, so fine
(fine, so fine)

Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh

Oh girl I'm gonna show you when you're mine, oh mine(mine, oh mine)

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you're my golden star
I know you could make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you

You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are

Treasure, that is what you are
Honey you're my golden star
I know you can make my wish come true
If you let me treasure you
If you let me treasure you