Srtoll Down the NFL Boulevard Week 2

Stroll down The NFL Boulevard

Week 2

 

                Here we go with the second week of the greatest game ever invented. Football has to be the greatest game; you can play it from about 4 years old till you are more than 50 or so. It is wild and crazy but you can watch it no matter if you are watching 4 year olds or 50 years olds. The game is great and great watching folks trying to play it. So what do you say we just start talking about this week’s games, Lefty can you kick again please??

 

                First up that game on Thursday, the game in New England matched the Patriots and the J E T S Jets Jets Jets. So the more things change in this the more things stay the same. Like Tom Brady out playing the Jets quarterback, but we mean who couldn’t have out played Mark Sanchez? But now the Jets have the happy African Italian Geno Smith. He played like a man possessed; he was 15 of 35 for 214 yards with three interceptions. All that led to another Patriot win.

Final Score the J E T S 10 the Patriots 13. So was Geno Possessed with Mark Sanchez?

 

                First up on Sunday Washington headed to Green Bay to have a game with the Packers. But what the Feather not dot Native Americans got was a swift kick in the groin. We hope they had a cup on under that Loin cloth. In the second half Aaron Rogers set up a card table out on the fifty yard line and lined up the visiting team and start selling them some insurance. Maybe they should have lined up before the game started.

Final Score the Feather not dot Native American 20 the Packers 38. What is offensive now, their name or their play?

 

                Up Next we find that the Art Model Cup was up for grabs this weekend. The Brown Stains headed east to Baltimore to take on the angry Ravens. The Ravens spotted the Brownstains 2 scores then proceeded to show them how 2 is more than 2. After the Game Brownstains head Coach Rod Chudziski was asked how it felt to come out on the short end of the stick? “Short end of the stick? What does that mean? We scored twice in the first half they scored twice in the second half, in my book that is a tie and that is what I am telling my players and fans.” The reporter asked a follow up “But you scored 6 points and they score 14 how is that even?”  When the answer came, “You let me worry about that. We were tied as far as the players are concerned.”

Final Score the Brownstains 6 the Ravens 14. We can only think that either coach Rod can’t count or he doesn’t think that he players can.

 

                Next up we find that the Saint Louis Ewes head down to Georgia and they were looking for a soul to steal. So over the summer the Ewes decided that Stephen Jackson was washed up and couldn’t play any more in St Louis. So they went to a Running back by committee, this must be why some things go into a committee and die just like the Government. That committee produced 14 rushes for 44 yards, quite the production. Steven Jackson picked by the Atlanta Falldowns showed his true colors against his former team by rushing 3 times for a total of 0 yards. That is an average you can be proud of. 3 for nothing.

Final Score the Ewes 24 the Falldowns 31. 3 for zip, 3 for zilch, 3 for nada. 3 for not a damn thing. Way to go Steven!!! Rah Rah Boo…

 

                Now we head to Philadelphia where the Dog killer was back in a familiar spot, sitting on the bench.  We think that is the best place for him, however. His coach must have as well. New Eagle head coach Chip Kelly wants to score like a drunken sailor on leave, but when he does his defense is left exposed like when his fly is down in a press conference. If your team, is going to only hold the ball for 19 minutes then you have one thing to look forward to, a loss. If you don’t believe us ask Jacksonville.

Final Score the Chargers 30 the Beagles 27. Too bad the rest of the Beagles didn’t dunk Vick’s head in the Gatorade till he stopped kicking… we really don’t want that, but we do if you know what we mean.

 

                We shall now get the greatest running back in the NFL, Mr. Adrian Peterson. He is following up his MVP season with a fantastic week’s worth of production.  He had 26 rushes for 100 yards. But one of his rushes was 36 yards. So he really rushed for 25 times and 64 yards, sweet, about 2.5 yards every time he touches the ball. Then he fumbled once, which is not good. He also caught a pass and took it for 7 more yards, but then fumbled it again. Maybe someone should wipe off his butterfingered hands before next week’s game.

Final Score the Viqueens 30 Da Bears 31. The best part of this game is getting to say that the Viqueens lose. HA HA HA

 

                Okay Just because Tom Hanks said it about baseball doesn’t make it any less true for football. There is no crying in football. I don’t care if it is the one handed interception in the end zone that you run back for a 101 yard touchdown to win the Superbowl. You don’t cry in Football. So someone tell Stevie Jackson. Oh and another thing who calls their kid Stevie after he gets to be older than about 8 years old. So just to recap, no crying in Football, don’t call him Stevie, and definitely no crying for Stevie after the game winning touchdown

Finals Score the Panthers 23 the Bills 24. Does anyone else dig those helmets that the Bills were using on Sunday, white with Red Lone Buffalo? We endorse that look here at the stroll.

 

                We need lots of things in the NFL, less fields goals, less roughing the passer calls, less time spent reviewing that play, and Less Overtime games with the Texans.  Matt Schaub threw for 298 yards and it nearly wasn’t enough. Tennessee is playing better, but they have to play better, as bad as they played last year. If this game wasn’t boring enough it had to go to overtime wonderful.

Final Score the Titans 24 the Texans30 let’s hear it for Schaub?? Anyone? Anyone want to cheer for Schaub? We didn’t think so. 

 

                Well we can report with all certainty that there is no Luck in Indianapolis today. Andrew has been sacked. And if we were to give the entire NFL who would have picked the Dolphins to be 2 and 0? Come on the Dolphins, and those new Helmets? Who? You? No sir you have an Atlanta Falldowns shirt on. No, not you have a Chargers hat on. And you… Yes you with the Cowboy Jersey on, don’t you even put your hand up, Jackwagon.

Final Score the Dolphins 24 the Colts 20 Don’t you just hate it when someone wants to change a classic like the dolphins helmet?

 

                Well here we are, Just like in the old Westerns One gunslinger tells another gun slinger to leave town. They meet in the center of town in a stare down that seems to last forever. Then one team flinches and they are usually dead. This this was the battle of Dallas, Yes Dallas. How many knew that the Dallas had two Professional teams. They stood in the middle of the Cotton Bowl. The Cowboys said This Town ain’t big enough for the both of us, and the Dallas Texans said “Okay”, and Moved to Kansas City and became the Chiefs.  But in this game it was different.

Final score the Cowgirls 16, the Chiefs 17. And don’t get us started on Andy Reid’s bright red outfit, Was it just u or did he look like a big hot air balloon?

 

                And the Powers that be in the NFL have decided that if there is a lightning bolt that has flashed within a 300 mile radius of a game will be delayed. This was wonderful for Tampa Bay because it delayed the inevitable. Another loss.  This is like the fourth time that a game has been delayed. Are you kidding us?  This is the greatest game in the world and you can’t play with a little rain. Are you kidding us?

Final Score the Aints 16 the Yuccaneers 14. We have seen games played when you can’t see but a little lightning is going to stop a game. The Players head to the locker room, but what about the fans sitting waiting for the lightning to pass by, what about their safety?

 

                Last year this game would have barely gotten a mention, but now we have to give it a fair shake. The Lions traveled to Arizona and brought the REGGIE BUSH Circus with them, Complete with acrobats, a bunch of Horses running a circle, and Clowns don’t forget the clowns. Let’s take a look at the stats. REGGIE BUSH Rushed the ball 9 times for 25 yards, and caught 3 passes for 44 yards. Okay so we are back to our regular production. We guess that the Cardinals are this week’s Lion Tamer team of the week.

Finals Score Lions 21 the Cardinals 25. Would someone send out the clowns? Oh wait they were on the field during the whole game.

 

                Next the Great Manning Bowl turned into some kind of bad Guacamole. It looked like it had been left out for a week. This is why we switched from Time Warner Cable so we could see this?  The White Bronco toyed with is little brother Elisha, till he picked up his toys and left. When asked about the game afterwards the White Bronco Said “Well I have been doing this for years, Elisha is okay, but he isn’t the Quarterback I am. So like when we were playing when we were kids when I got tired I went inside and that is about all there is to say about that.

Final Score the Broncos 41 The NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 23. Wonder if Archie is calling both kids tonight?

 

                The Last game of the Day on Sunday we find the Jaguars and the Raiders. We can’t call this a battle, we can’t call this a matchup, and we can barely call this a contest. Unless you were going to ask us who sucked harder? Right now it is hard to tell that.

Final Score the Jaguars 9 the Raiders 19… lots of signs in the stadium “Just Suck Baby”

 

                And finally the game that everyone was waiting on, the Shehawks and the 49ers. Let’s settle in for this matchup. Even Carrie Underwear couldn’t get us more excited for this game. And what a first quarter if was riveting, must see TV on a Sunday night. Then both teams headed to the locker room, and the official said, due to weather in the area and because of player safety this game is delayed. Thais is just great, well we were tired, so off to bed for us. We thought for long hard moment that the Officials should win an award, but this award is too good for them. So here you go 49ers. This week’s Birth Canal Game of the week.

Final Score the 49ers 3 the Shehawks 29. 3 points really? Who do the think you are Steven Jackson.

 

 

                And now the cherry on the top of this week’s chocolate shake. The Bengals, and the Squealers squared off in a game that was hard to watch and hard to listen to. When John Gruden is on the television it is time to turn down the sound. If there a Nails on the chalk board we would rather listen to that than Gruden. But back to the game.

Final Score the Squealers 10 the Bengals 20. And that is all we have to say about that.

 

Well that will do it for us this week. Hope you enjoyed his week.

And remember like we always say…

 

I used to rule the world

Seas would rise when I gave the word

Now in the morning I sleep alone

Sweep the streets I used to own

 

I used to roll the dice

Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes

Listened as the crowd would sing

Now the old king is dead long live the king

One minute I held the key

Next the walls were closed on me

And I discovered that my castles stand

Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

 

I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing

Roman cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror, my sword and shield

Missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

Once you'd gone there was never

Never an honest word

And that was when I ruled the world

 

It was a wicked and wild wind

Blew down the doors to let me in

Shattered windows and the sound of drums

People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait

For my head on a silver plate

Just a puppet on a lonely string

Oh who would ever want to be king?

 

I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing

Roman cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror, my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

I know St Peter won't call my name

Never an honest word

But that was when I ruled the world

 

Hear Jerusalem bells a-ringing

Roman cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror, my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

I know St Peter won't call my name

Never an honest word

But that was when I ruled the world