Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Superbowl week

                                                             Stroll down the NFL Boulevard


                                                                              Super Bowl



Well, as each season comes to a close we find ourselves longing for the good old days, you remember November and December? We do. But we have a few things to wrap up as the season comes to a close. So we should get started… Expo can you do us one last favor this Season… kick It!!!



So with the end a very busy day we finally settle in for the Coin flip. We could not help ourselves and we bet 5 spot on the coin toss. We thought that it was that Platinum one Trillion Dollar coin with the Presidents picture on it. This Coin is going to save our nation from the next Debt Cliff or financial Ceiling we face. But the official flipping the coin said that the head on the coin was the Superbowl trophy. The Superbowl trophy is Heads? Aw Hell that is not the coin I thought it was going to be. Damn it. I am down 5 before the kick off.

The White Bronco has been in a saga the entire year long, after his week in the warm Hawaiian sun he and Ellie went on a road trip. They traveled like old times. This week Peyton and Ellie rode in the back seat of the Family Truckster. From Denver to Kentucky and they saw all the sites. You know like the biggest ball of string in Kansas, the Largest Row Boat, and an interactive Ant farm in Missouri. Hey Expo what is an interactive Ant farm? What? Peyton put ants in Ellie’s pants? What? That is Crazy… Well when the family stopped at the Stuckey’s for a pecan log, we caught up with father Archie who Said “Boys will be boys.” Mrs. Manning urged everyone back in the car so that they could make to the KOA Campground by night fall.

Well we will get back to them shortly. First we want to talk about the Hall of Fame inductees for 2013. We can understand Warren Sapp, Jonathon Ogden, and Larry Allen. We like the big boys. We even like that Curly Culp Guy, really who doesn’t like an old Kansas City Chief? And this guy Dave Robinson. Any linebacker from Green bay from 60’s is probably okay, the old guys voted him in… okay we can understand that. But the headlining 2 are absolutely making a shambles of the announcement. That blubbering idiot Chris Carter needs some Weed to calm him down. Or maybe just some prescription drugs to take the edge off. We have not seen this much crying since that Christmas episode of the View in 2002. You remember when Woopie Goldberg told everyone that she didn’t have any real close friends everyone cried. Then she said she was just kidding and she had more friends than anyone could imagine. And everyone was crying tears of joy. Remember?

Okay imagine you are walking through a football themed restaurant, Lots of tables full of people as you pass one table you start to notice the folks sitting at the table, Well they each have a name in front of their plate (like assigned seating). The first table has Don Shula leaning over whispering into George Halas’ ear. Tom Landry adjusts his hat and gives you a stern look as you pass the table, Curly Lambeau sits beside Paul Brown and you notice the Center piece of the table says the 200 or better table. As you are astonished you look to the next to find an Empty seat beside Bug Grant who is still wearing that silly Viking Cap and Marv Levy with a Bill’s sweater on. Steve Owens is patting Weeb Eubanks on the back as you stroll past wondering who the hell Steve Owens coached for, and why Sid Gillman is wearing a powder blue hat with a gold lightning bolt on it. The Center Piece on this table shows 115 + wins here. The Last table you pass sees John Madden talking to Vince Lombardi as the rest of the table you really aren’t sure who they are, the names you read are Guy Chamberlin, Jimmy Conzelman, Ray Flanhery, and some guy named Greasy Neale, with a center piece of Hall of Fame Coaches. As you get to your table with a center piece of guest you quickly pull out your handy dandy Cell phone and Whisper into Siri’s ear and ask list the hall of fame coaches in order of Winning Percentages. As Siri begins to talk you listen as she runs thru the 70% winning coaches she passes John Madden, Well you think he does have a video game named after him. Then you get to Tom Landry 60% wow he is tied with Greasy Neale. And finally you get to our new inductee Mr. Bill Tuna Cakes Parcells who with his 57 % is ahead of the like of Marv Levy, Sid Gillman, and And Weeb Eubanks. What a travesty he wasn’t higher on the list. What a tragedy that he wasn’t voted in sooner. If we add up his total win including the playoffs old Tuna cakes Coached Just over 21 seasons. With 183 wins and 138 losses we find his true stats are just below 9 wins per season and just fewer than 7 losses. Huh? So the great and Powerful tuna cakes can take an under achieving our talented team and run them into a 9-7 team. Wow. We guess the only thing he needed was Hall of famer behind his name. Thanks Canton for electing a Man not much better than a coin flip to the Hall of Famer. And that is all we have to say about that.

Okay well Baltimore won the coin toss and elected to take the ball in the second half so the 49ers will be getting the ball first. And with all the hype of the unstoppable Colin Kaepernick he jogged on to the field only to scurry back off the field 3 plays later losing only 2 yards. Ready for the first punt? We were. Someone had checked the odds in Vegas and how long would the First drive last looked good with an over / under of 3 minutes. We took the over for another 5 spot. Baltimore gets the punt and starts drive at the their own 49 yard line, a quick check of the clock shows 13:05, Crap only 1:55 on the clock, we have got to quit making these bets. We are down 10 bucks and the game just started. So the Guy beside me wants to bet that the Ravens will score on their first drive. I said a field goal? He said no a Touchdown. I will take that for 5 bucks. Flacco tosses to Anquan Boldin for a 13 yard touchdown. Damn it down 15 and game is barley 5 minutes old. This sucks. The 49ers get the ball and start driving only to run out of gas and kick a field goal. Hey we don’t know much but we do know that if they score touchdowns and we kick field goals we will not win.

End of the first Ravens 7 the 49ers 3. We are down 15$ and are looking to even the score maybe not all at once, but quickly.

Second Quarter more of the same as the Raven begin to move a little further out in front scoring another touchdown then another. Damn it 21 to 3 this is getting ridiculous. This is almost as crazy as that stupid Go Daddy.com commercial. And just so everyone knows that was all computer generated because that girl would never kiss that boy, and could they have waited for his face to get some color back in it before they started filming? That little Red faced nerd was pathetic. We guess that in vampire land the ugly girl gets the cute boy to kiss her, and in the Go daddy world the ugly boy gets the girl. Oh and thank God we couldn’t hear all the slurping that might have made us sick.

End of the first half the Ravens 21 the 49ers 6. What the hell? Up next we have the halftime show.



So the family Truckster turns down a street in Kentucky. Harlan Kentucky to be exact and slows down in front of the nice house. It has a porch around the whole front. There is a porch swing and the house is painted in a faded yellow color that should have been repainted several years ago. The family steps out of the car slowly. As they all gather at the walk way and begin to walk towards the house a man stand up from his seat on the porch. He is a tall man, slender with a fetching fedora. Peyton recognized him instantly and whispered to Ellie, “Hey I know that guy. He gave me some information. He was my Private investigator.” As the Family reaches the bottom step the man says “Hello. Are you sure you want to do this now?” Mrs. Manning says “Yes let’s just get it over with.” “Well come on up and have a sit.” He invites. As they all sit Archie Asks “If this is true we are going to have a big problem mister.” As the Man turns to Mrs. Manning he says “Would you like to start or me?” “I,I can’t do it, I can’t relive this again, this house, this Porch the memories are just flooding back.” The tall man stands and clears his throat looks at the boys and begins to Speak. “A long time ago, a very long time ago I knew your mother. I knew her very well, and as couple did back then we got very close. With your dad gone a lot of the time playing football in New Orleans we had been able to spend more and more time together. Time were hard in the early 70’s, I mean women in mini Skirts, men in Bell bottoms pants and platform shoes. It was a crazy time.” Ellie looked at Peyton and whispered wonder if their farts went ding-a ling a ling because they had bells in their bottoms?” “Well like I said your mom and I got real close and then one night after a few drinks we decided we could not stand it any longer. We sat down on that couch right there in the front room and started talking. At first we just kind of joked around but eventually we got very serious and we did things neither one of us are very proud of.” Archie’s head slumped forward and fell into his hands, “I can take it just tell me!” The Man continued “Well we started talking and came up with this plan. That if she ever had a couple of sons playing in the NFL that we would make them think that they had a brother from a different father. We don’t know why we did it, we just did. So we came up with this story that Nick Lachey was your brother. And you guys fell for hook line and sinker. Oh it went on for several years, and you just ate it up like it was true.” A tear began to start in Ellie’s eye, so it’s not true?” Mrs. Manning Spoke up and said “No are you kidding me? I could never cheat on your father. It was the 70’s back then you could a man could hit his wife without getting in trouble.” Peyton said “But you helped me research this guy and showed me proof?” “That was easy, I just made stuff up.” the man said. You guys ate it up like a starving man. Tear streamed down Ellie’s face, and he said “Dad I knew you didn’t hate me, I knew you watched my games I just knew it, I knew you cared about me.” To which Mrs. Manning said “Oh no Ellie your father doesn’t care about you at all, that is not part of this act. He has not watched one of your games since you were in High school. And that was only because I told him I would not wear the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader outfit till he went and watched one of your games. That part of the story has been true each week, he can hardly stand it that you have the family name.” Ellie closed his eyes tightly as the tears began to flow faster now.

Oh yea Beyonce was the half time show… nothing very good, sound like a bunch cats getting their tails stepped on. We were however were able to get a halftime bet in on whether it would be Jay zee or Destiny’s Child that would show up to spare everyone to death. And lucky for us we got our 15 Dollars back when the “Child” came out on stage. Pppfftt nothing special here let’s get that Pepsi stage off the field and get the game back on.

Okay so the third quarter starts with a 108 yard kick off and Baltimore is up 28 to 6 and this is starting to look like a rout. We find that Drew Brees is working on the last tour of the day for the Super Dome. As they head down to the basement, Drew mentions that the area they are now in holds all the electrical transformers that keeps all the power going in the Superdome. Then he mentions that even though Katrina was several years ago they still find displaced victims in this area from time to time. Roger Godell raises his hand and Drew says “Yes, you in the back?” “Huh” Roger starts “Are they like the Japanese Soldiers that they would find in the Pacific that still thought the War was going on, like 50 years later?” Drew frowned and said “Yes, can we please keep the questions till the end?” Just then the group heard a rustling behind one of the transformers then a man screaming. Drew told the group to “Stay where you are, I will be right back.” The screaming continued and then a puddle began to form under one transformer that was marked “Lights”. Then the lights flickered only once, and went out. Brees yelled out to stay calm he had everything under control. He grabbed a couple of Flashlights from the wall and turned them on. A nervous group waited silently until Drew said the coast was clear. They all moved back up the stairs. At the top of the stairs the smell of Urine was over nearly overwhelming. Drew stopped the group and turned around to say “Well I hate to say it but I believe we found another homeless person. He started to Pee on the transformer and it just blew out. If we all head up these stairs we will be back on the main concourse and you can find your seats again, because this tour is over. Sorry.”



After a 34 minute power delay the third quarter resumed and the 49ers finally showed up. It appears that “The Colon Kaepernick finally had his head out of his butt and started to play some ball. A couple of touchdowns and the game started to get close. The Ravens began to get a little worried. The 49ers scored 17 points in the quarter with the help of a Baltimore fumble. The camera’s catch Ravens linebacker on the sidelines. He is clearly seen placing his index finger against the right side of his nose flicking the end, in some sort of signaling gesture. We hope no one gets killed tonight.

End of the third quarter Ravens 28 the 49ers 23. Holy crap we won on one of those boards where you buy squares. Our 30 dollars turned into 200.00$$ Yea us.

Okay so the fourth quarter of the Superbowl starts and the Ravens kick a field goal to push their score to 31, coach Harbough wipes the sweat from his brow and tells quarterback Joe Flacco, “Way to go. We need all the points we can get at this point.” But the miracle continues and “The Colon drives his team right back down the field for another touchdown. Wow down by 2 with almost 10 minutes left. As the 49ers line up for the 2 point conversion, Randy Moss decides to take this play off. He doesn’t even attempt to catch the ball and the 49ers are still down 2. The Raven gets the ball and flies down the field on a nearly 6 minute drive to kick another field goal pushing the lead to 5. But the Colon is not impressed. He drives his team 75 yards in 9 plays taking up 2 and half minutes until… The oddest play calling we have seen in a while first and goal from the 7. Up the middle of 2 yards, not a bad play, okay, you are setting something up. Let’s see it. Second and goal from the 5, a roll to the right and a pass to Michael Crabtree at the 3 but the ball is jarred from him. Third down and goal from the 5 another roll to the right only this time the pass is too high for Crabtree. Fourth down and goal from the 5, okay a run and 2 passes nets you 2 yards. And you are not having the best of luck with passes to Crabtree. What to do? During a timeout coach Harbough is talking to his guys and says, “Hey why don’t we try a pass to Crabtree on the right side? And if it doesn’t work lets all yell holding trying to get a holding call them.” Well it is now first and 10 from their own 5 yard line and Baltimore rushes to the left, gaining two yards. Second and 8 yards from the 7; and we are thinking if the 49ers can force a punt from the endzone they might have a chance for another throw to Crabtree in the right side of the endzone. Then it occurred to us why punt from the end zone the Raven will take a safety and kick from the 20. On the second down the dive up the middle no gain… tick tock tick tock the seconds keep ticking off the clock and Jim Nance asks his Superbowl broadcast partner “Do you think that the Raven would take a safety if they don’t get a first down here?” Phil Sims responds “Jim I am not sure that is the way to go. You never want to give the other team points especially this close to the end of the game.” Third down nets the Baltimore Ravens 1 yard, setting us up for fourth down. Surely a punt from the endzone, because Phil said you never give points to the other team this close to the end of the game. As the punter comes out on the field Jim says again, “I would think that you really would want to take the safety as it looks like the 49ers maybe setting up for a return.” Phil Sims now as someone in his ear saying, if you know anything about football take the safety and punt from the 20, agrees with Jim. Why doesn’t he just talk about the New England Patriots we think to ourselves? Then he says it. “You know Jim I remember in a game the New England won a couple of years ago that they took a safety and they still won so maybe that is not a bad move. Why the Face??? Did he really just say the something about the Patriots with 20 seconds left in the game??? So the Snap comes back to the punter who runs to the sidelines of the endzone for a SAFETY. The Ravens punt from the 20 and the game is over.

Final Score Ravens 34 the 49ers 31. A great game but the insight that is provided from the Television commentators is getting worse every year. But like they say… Some people are commentators, some people are spectators, and some people are dictators, but everyone is some kind of tator…

So as you can probably guess the 49ers end the season as the birth canal team of the week, but only for their first half play. The rest of the game was a good one!!

Well that will wrap it up from us for another season… we hope we have made you smile a little, we hope you have laughed a little and we hope that you have enjoyed this as much as we have… See you next year!!

And remember like we always say…



Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -

Only this, and nothing more.'



Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -

Nameless here for evermore.



And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -

Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -

This it is, and nothing more,'



Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -

Darkness there, and nothing more.



Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'

Merely this and nothing more.



Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -

'Tis the wind and nothing more!'



Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.



Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.

Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'



Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -

Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as `Nevermore.'



But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -

Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -

On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'

Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'



Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -

Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore

Of "Never-nevermore."'



But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore

Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'



This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,

But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!



Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee

Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'



`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -

Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -

On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -

Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'



`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'



`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -

`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'

Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'



And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted - nevermore!