Stroll down the NFL Boulevard
Week 17
Well here we are a little sad and a little happy. When week 17 crashes into you sometimes you get to the playoffs, sometime you get fired, and sometimes you get nothing. This time of the year always brings a tear to our eye, because sometimes we lose some material, but sometimes we get better material. So we will wipe the tear from our eye and look to the future. And the future is now. So let’s see what the last week of the season looks like. Expo will you please do it one more time.
Well it is rivalry week in the NFL and what has been a dog fight for over 50 years looked like a dog fight again. However this looked more like a dog fight of 50 year old dogs. The only thing this game was missing was anything exciting. For a game that was deciding last place in the AFC East it showed just how far both teams have fallen. Well the Bills didn’t have that far to fall so they decided that Head Coach Chan Gailey was fired. And that could be a good thing, but for now we will keep waiting for Rex Ryan to be fired but so far that has not happened. Neither one of these teams were fighting for their playoff lives and it showed.
Final Score the JETS 9 the Bills 28. Even TIM TEABOW could help the JETS to the playoffs.
Up next we head to the home of the Super bowl. This year New Orleans will host the Super Bowl festivities with Beyonce has the half time entertainment. So after this game the City of New Orleans gathered up their best cleaners to start a head to toe cleaning of the entire super dome. Hopefully the smell of despair and shame will all be washed away, as well as the stench of urine. In the Game the Panthers came a calling and found that this game some meaning.
Final score the Panthers 44 the Aints 38. The Meaningful thing of this game was that with a win the Panthers could get to second place. But they ended up tied for last.
So Tampa Bay had the task of playing the Atlanta Falldowns. The Falldowns had nothing left to prove and this game showed it. So since no one could catch the Falldowns they didn’t want to be the first team to 14 wins in the NFL. So they rested most of their players and playing their second string folks the Buccaneers actually did something unusual. They actually won the Buccan game. The Falldowns didn’t trust their second string Quarterback to lose this game so they played Matt Ryan the whole game. After the game Matt was asked why he played the whole game. “Well Second place was on the line and we wanted to make sure that our second string guy didn’t screw it up and win.”
Final score the Bucs 22 the Falldowns 17. So the Falldowns win the division and everyone else tied for second or last. I guess it is true, “If you aren’t first then you are last”.
In the Vaunted NFC North Division Da Bears Just needed to beat the Loins to make the playoffs. Oh and then the Giants had to lose, the Viqueens had to lose, and the Mars rover had to turn a standing back flip and fall in love with some space alien juke box on Mars. So the Bears did their part, they beat the Loins. After that all bets were off. So if you are looking for a scape goat in a Bear suit look no further than head coach Lovie Smith. That is as far as the Da Bears Management looked when deciding what was wrong with their 10 and 6 team.
Final score Da Bears 26 the Loins 24. Is this another disappointing season for the Loins? Hell yes but what else is new. They have been having disappointing seasons since gas went over a 1.50 a gallon.
Now we head to another Match up of 2 teams playing out the string. The NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS invited the Philadelphia Beagles to town for one more night of fun and frivolity in New York before Andy Reid gets fired. And fired is what he got. Now how did he try to stop his own demise? He started the Dog Killer Michael Vick. And that couldn’t be good for anyone. After the game in the locker room Ellie heard the familiar ring tone “drum beats under the announcer’s voice touting the greatness of the Buick Verano.” “Hello?” he answered. “Hey are you sure that you didn’t send me a gift for Christmas?” he heard from the phone. “Yes I sent you some New York Giants Sweats and a signed helmet from Henry Hynosi just like you asked for. Why did you get something else? Well Mom called me last week and told me some terrible things last week about being in Kentucky, and dad being gone and her and this other guy.” Just then the phone started to beep as he got disconnected. “Peyton. Are you there? Did you hear me?”
Final Score the Beagles 7 the GIANTS 42. Oh and nothing could stop Andy Reid from getting fired this year. So he is gone, but he will be back, we just hope that his mustache doesn’t get much bigger.
Jacksonville has done nothing this season to let us know that they would put much of a fight this week. And with Tennessee the same thing could be said. So when these two teams put it all on the line what could we expect?
Final Score the Jag 20 the Titans 38. Really? Really? Why did we even report on this game?
Okay so here is game that we could really get into. The Houston Texans, greatest team from Texas, took to the road for a very important divisional match up. All they had to do was win this game and they would be 13 and 3 and the AFC representative for the super bowl would be coming thru the great Sewer that is Houston. But the Colts had something of secret weapon waiting on them. Head Coach Chuck Pagano recovering from Cancer decided that this would be the game that his team needed a lift. So he ran his bald head out on the field and gave the Texans the Evil eye. Matt Schaub said after the game that the evil eye is one of the most scariest things he had ever seen. It caused him to be sacked 4 times and throw 2 interceptions. He said that the evil eye caused them to lose the game this week. Really? What caused the other 3 loses??
Final Score the Texans 16 the Colts 28. Both teams are in the playoffs. But only one could win the division. So next week someone will come to Houston and maybe give Matt Schaub the evil eye again.
What the Hell is this world coming to when the Squealers don’t make the playoffs? Well that is what has happened at least they didn’t get their head coach fired. The Brownstains did. Their coach is gone. And they were doing better. But not anymore.
Final score the Browns 10 the Squealers 24. Two more teams playing out the end of the season just waiting to get to someplace warm…
Okay so the Ravens went to Cincinnati to see if the Bungels were for real. What they found is a team that played hard the whole game. And the whole game is what they needed. This might have been difficult had the game meant more. But as it turned out this game didn’t mean anything which is kind of like the game discussed just before this one. These two teams weren’t going to change their playoff seedings any.
Fin al Score the Ravens 17 the Bungels 23. Quote the Bungels nevermore… Oh Wait that isn’t right… EXPO!!!
So San Francisco was looking to be the number 2 seed with a win. And Ari-Freaking-zona was looking for a reason to fire Ken Whisenhunt. We think that there are a lot of reasons a lot of reason to fire Ken Whisenhunt. So we picked out a few that you might enjoy. 1 He is the coach of the Cardinals shouldn’t that be one? 2. His team lost 9 games in a row. 3. His Name is Whisenhunt??? He is looking for a place to relieve himself. And Cardinal Management relieved him of this job.
Final Score the Cardinal 13 the 49er 27. So who wins the division quarterback Alex Smith or Colin Kaepernick???
The only good thing about this game is that it is over. Finally the Just Suck Baby Odyssey is over and from what can tell it was a great success. There were 7 head coaches who were fired on Black Monday (Now why we have to call it Black Monday we don’t know. Maybe it should have been called some like the absence of White Monday? But Black? Is that some stereo-type that the NFL wants to put on their game? Black Monday? Maybe it should be the “Black Scab” that is being pulled off so that healing can begin? But still the “black scab” is kind of derogatory if you were a black Scab player in the 80’s that crossed the NFL picket lines.) If there was ever a Black Scab in San Diego is was Norv Turner. But Somehow Dennis Allen of the Raiders got to keep his job. Oh wait we see now. Raider Management is waiting to talk to Al Davis before firing him.
Final score the Raiders 21 the Chargers 24. They might have to wait a long time to talk to Al Davis. We have heard that he is having trouble getting in that black sweat suit.
The White Bronco lays his head next to still waters at the top of the mountain. His home, he is secure in the fact that it is his and his alone. The White Bronco fears only one thing in this world, and that is deception, things that don’t appear to be what they seem. He doesn’t want to be fooled. In this game he was not fooled, but in the locker room afterward he made a call to his Brother Ellie. “Hey are you sure that you didn’t send me a gift for Christmas?” Before he could hear the answer his phone was pulled from his hand and hung up. Before Peyton could say anything his father told him to gather his things he was going on a trip. And that his mother was waiting for them in the car. Peyton quickly changed his clothes and grabbed the Christmas Package from the top of his locker and walked to the door with his father.
Final Score the Chefs 3 the Bronco’s 38. What does Peyton’s Father know and why isn’t Ellie going???
Up next we find a battle for the playoffs. The Viqueens had the Packers come to town and Adrian Peterson needed only 208 yards to get to the single season rushing title. And try has he might he could only get to 199 yards still a great total but he couldn’t get past Eric Dickerson. The Viqueens are in the playoffs and as much as it pains us to say that, we get a rematch. And back to back. A home and home with the Packers of sorts. So let’s see where that takes us.
Final Score the Packers 34 the Viqueens 37 Let’s see if the Viqueens get a discount double check in the Friendly confines of Lambeau field.
Well up next we will check in on the greatest running back of all time and his chase. In the Week 17 game REGGIE BUSH needed 127 yards to eclipse his career high single season total of 1086. He wanted it to be a great day. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for the opening kickoff he just kept saying to himself “I think I Can. I think I can I think I can.” At the end of the game sitting by his locker he said to himself “What has happened to me? Why am I not the star I was in College? I have given up the Heisman trophy, I have given up Kim Kardashian, and now I work in Miami.” Dolphin Teammate Lamar Miller walked by and said “Hell Man you gained twice as many yards as I did today. Quit Crying.” So looking at the stats let see how close REGGIE BUSH got 8 carries for 26 yards. With that kind of production he only needed another 31 carries to get to 127 yards. So back to the game, when the final gun went off several people in the stands thought that the Dolphins Head Coach Joe Philbin had been shot. But he was not even fired. But one thing he did get was the final regular season Birth canal team of the week.
Final Score the Dolphins 0 the Pats 28. Wow no points, dare we say it? No we will not say it...
Now the final day game of the Ewes went to the great Northwest to find the Shehawks. This game was so slow that we aren’t sure if it ever ended. Expo did you see a final score on this game? Well we took a nap. Too many holiday pies, too much holiday food. This game really put us to sleep.
Oh here it is. Final Score the Ewes 13 the Shehawks 20. You never know what is going to happen in the great Northwest.
Finally the last game on the schedule. And NBC wanted to watch the Cowgirls lose again. For last couple of seasons Toni and girls gave had a chance to win the division on the final game of the season and each year and each year Toni has played poorly. Maybe not causing his team to lose, but certainly not helping them win. One person who did help is team win was RG3. So in our humble opinion he is what this game comes down to. The Washington Deadskins traded up to the second pick in the draft to get RG3. And the cowgirls sweated and hoped and prayed that none of the other 31 teams in the NFL would spend a draft pick on a 4 year starting quarterback from Eastern Illinois.
Final Score the Cowgirls 18 the Deadskins 28. So it is another season of disappointment for the Cowgirl faithful. Some great coach once said you are what you are. Well maybe he wasn’t that great of coach…
That will do it again for us. Expo and I want to thank you for all the support this season. It has been a labor of love for us. We also want to thanks our lovely wife for the help this season she is great. Honey take a bow please. We love you bunches!!!
And remember like we always say…
Nite falls , and im alone
Skin, yeah chilled me to the bone
You, turned and you ran,
Oh yeah,
Oh slipped, right from my hand
Hey
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don't mean much
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead mans touch
Wisper on a scream
Doesnt't't change a thing
Don't bring you back
Blue on black
Oh yeah, blue on black
Blind, oh, now i see
Truth, lies, and in between
Wrong, can't be undone
Oh slipped, from the tip of
Your tounge
Hey
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don't mean much
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
A dead mans touch
Wisper on a scream
Doesnt't't change a thing
Doesnt't't bring you back, yeah
Blue on black
Oh, blue on black
Oh, yeah
(solo)
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don't mean much
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
Is a dead mans touch
Wisper on a scream
Doesnt't't change a thing
Don't bring you back
Blue on black
Oh yeah, blue on black
Hey
Blue on black
Tears on a river
Push on a shove
It don't mean much
Joker on jack
Match on a fire
Cold on ice
Is a dead mans touch
Wisper on a scream
Doesnt't't change a thing
Doesnt't't bring you back
Blue on black
Oh, blue on black
Oh wha oh, blue on black
Oh, blue on black
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