Stroll down the NFL Boulevard
Divisional Round
First there were 12 then there 8 now there are only 4. Are they the 4 we thought? Maybe not. The first week we lost, a couple of teams we thought would here. Next week we will probably be looking for a few more that didn’t make it. And who didn’t make it? That is what we are going to get into. So Expo kick it please!!!
The White Bronco does one thing and one thing only he wins, in the regular season. The Denver Broncos made the decision to take a chance on the late 30 something quarterback with a laser arm and passion for commercials. Well Mr. Peyton has won a Superbowl, and he has lost a Superbowl. He has lost more divisional round playoff games than he has won, it seems. All during the summer when speculation about where Peyton Manning would take his services, we said that he would win in the regular season and then falter in the playoffs. Our argument was that the team that takes him will probably win the division but lose before the Superbowl. We wonder what kind of odds we would have gotten on that in Las Vegas. Well while we can’t blame Peyton for the entire melt down in the last few seconds what we can do is point out that everyone’s White Bronco must have his mind on something else. His stats show that 28 of 43, with 3 touchdowns and 2 interceptions. One Interception was taken back for a touchdown. If that had not happened, would the game still have been tied? And no it wasn’t the immaculate reception, or the Hail Mary, or even the Catch, we are calling this “Flacco Fling” after the Game standing by his locker Peyton heard the phone it was a familiar ring tone. “Hey Dad. I am not going back to Kentucky. I don’t care if he is my brother. No I don’t care. Take Ellie you guys need to bond anyway.”
Final Score the Ravens 38 the Broncos 35. How does any defensive team allow a receiver to get behind them with time running out? That was ridiculous…
Next let the coronation begin. There is a new King in San Francisco and his name is Colin. And this is strange because we thought only Queens came from San Francisco. Let’s just go over what the King did on Saturday night. He ran for more yards than any quarterback has in one game in the history of the NFL which was 181. He threw for another 250 yards. He sold popcorn and sodas to fans in Section 123. He got a discount double check and saved $400, on his home and auto insurance by bundling them together, Thanks Aaron. He was not seen at a career day at a school in San Francisco, because the Tattoos on his arms scared the children. They thought he was a terrorist and was asked to leave so Rogers has that over him. What else could he have done? After the game Coach Harbough was asked if his Quarterback could do anything? “Well, you know I have bought stock in him. I will believe anything he says. If he told me they were looking for investors to put up toll booths on the golden gate bridge, I am in. If he says we need to change our team colors to pink and yellow, then I am in. If he said the world is flat, then I would have to say. Don’t push me cause I am close to the edge.”
Final Score the Packers 28 the49ers 45. We think it was Colin that came up with the Billion Platinum Dollar Coin, to save all of America and the debt problem we are in. Well thank God Harbough wasn’t in charge of that decision or else we would have had that stupid coin.
And Finally the Shehawks did what they do. They lost. The Falldowns had a 20 point lead going into the fourth quarter. And what did they do? They did what every team does, they ran 11 plays gaining 28 total yards and punting twice and threw an interception. Oh they held the ball for over 6 minutes in those 3 possessions. Thank God they didn’t take any more time off the clock, or this would have been another Epic Failure in Hot-lanta. So with 19 seconds 2 timeouts and starting from their own 28, Matty Ice went to work. 2 passes that picked up 41 yards and out came the Field goal team to win the game. Now it has gotten to be a very Jack ass move to try and Ice the kicker and call a time out right before the ball snaps. If we were coaching we would tell our long snapper to snap the ball any way, and then let the field goal kicker go ahead and get a free shot. This time it worked out and pissed off Pete Carroll. Tough luck coach you shouldn’t have been a jack ass, you want to call a time out, call it, but not right before the ball is snapped. Ha, you got your time out and the kicker got to let the nerves leave his leg. You Freaking Jack wagon.
Final Score the Shehawks 28 the Falldowns 30. Ha Ha Ha… that was great wasn’t it??? We will not say anything about that again… this Week… Ha Ha Ha…
Now we need one more team on the AFC side to complete the final four NFL Style. Did anyone think that Bill Bella-cheat wasn’t going to win that game? His superior mind is just better that the Houston’s, if you don’t believe us just ask him. His Quarterback is far better than Houston’s; if you don’t believe us just ask him. And if Belle-cheats heartfelt answer doesn’t do it for you then talk to another New England Patriot’s Employee, His Name is Phil Sims. This guy could say nothing wrong about his beloved Pats. And Jim Nance never found a Patriot highlight he didn’t like. We think that they get together, on the night before the game and discuss what they will work in to the broadcast the next day. Phil’s best line of game “Wow Jim I just don’t see any way the Patriots can lose this game. It is the hands of the one person that will probably go down as the greatest quarterback in the history of the league.” “Well Phil you sure know your Quarterback play because you played the position with such grace. But not like what we are witnessing today. And that will end the first quarter folks, we will be right back to suck on the Patriots straw some more after these messages.” Well the one thing that the Pats didn’t do was take a title away from the Texans. This title is reason for all those smiles you saw on the Texans side lines, front bottoms. Well you know what a smiling front bottom means right? Yes Virginia the Texans are this week’s Birth canal team of the week.
Final Score the Texans 28 the Patriots 41. The Texans are still the greatest NFL team that resides in Texas. Can anyone tell us what Houston has in common with the Milky way??? Neither one has nuts…
Oh no did we just say that??
Well that will do it for us this week. It is kind of sad we are down to the four best teams in the NFL? Only 3 more game, very sad. But we shall endure on.
And remember like we always say…
Lunatic Fringe - I know you're out there
You're in hiding, and you hold your meetings
I can hear you coming, and I know what you're after
We're wise to you this time we won't let you kill the laughter
wise to you this tiiimmme
OOO-OOO-OOO-uh-Huh
OOO-OOO-OOO-uh-Huh
OOO-OOO-OOO-uh-Huh
Lunatic Fringe - in the twilight's last gleaming
This is open season, but you won't get too far
'Cause you got to blame someone for your own confusion
We're all on guard this time against the Final Solution
all on guard this time
Oh Yea-a-a
OOO-OOO-OOO-uh-Huh
OOO-OOO-OOO-uh-Huh
OOO-OOO-OOO-uh-Huh
We can hear you coming no, you're not going to win this time
We can hear you coming not gonna win
We can hear the footsteps out along the walkway
We can hear the footsteps out along the walkway
them play
Lunatic Fringe - we all know you're out there
Can you feel the resistance?
Can you feel the thunder?
Oh Yea-a-a
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