Stroll down the NFL Boulevard
Week 14
As we start the fourth quarter of the season things are really beginning to heat up. This could be hotter than global Warming. More polar ice caps are melting and the seas are starting to boil as well. Teams are fighting for their playoff lives as we move closer and closer to that all important time of year. So without any further ado we shall move forward. Expo Kick it why don’t you?
First up we see the White Bronco heading for happier hunting grounds near great pools of water. The Great White Bronco was content in the happy hunting ground near great pools of water. After what wasn’t much of a game because the Raiders just Sucked Baby, the White Bronco headed to the locker room. After his talk with reporters the White Bronco headed to the showers, when he returned to his locker he finds a box, wrapped in Christmas paper and a note that says do not open till Christmas.
Final score the Bronco’s 26 the Raiders 13. The White Bronco asked his teammates and no one else had a Package.
This is just sad, but for the second week in a row we have a death in the NFL. This week a couple of NFL players, were out late, drinking too much, they were involved in a one car accident that took the life of Practice squad player Jerry Brown. We are not going to diminish the life lost again this week, except to say that this was another tragedy that could have, should have, and would have, been averted had a little bit of common sense entered the picture. This is a sad, sad day in the NFL again. The Common sense we mean is that a taxi could have saved this live, a phone call to a friend/teammate could have saved this life. But what couldn’t save this life someone who has had too much to drink. With all the sadness in the world to think that this could have been avoided is sad.
The final score the Cowgirls 20 the Bungels 19. Two weeks in row, makes us scared for next Saturday.
Up next we find a couple of teams fighting, but fighting for what? Respectability? We think that went out the window a while ago. If a game ends 15 to 12 then something is wrong. Each team had 17 first downs. Each team had right at 285 yards. And each team had only 2 penalties. About the only thing exciting about this game was how fans in Buffalo didn’t know how to execute the Touchdown leap. When Lee Smith caught a touchdown, he thought he was celebrating with the fans; He ran and jumped in the stands. And it was as if he had Aids or something, as the fans in the stands ran away from him like a welfare recipient runs from a job.
Final score the Ewes 15 the Bills 12. Oh wait we really didn’t mean that last part. There are lots of hardworking people looking for a job. And the economy is getting a lot better. And look at how gas prices have come down…
So all Andy Reid had to do was work a little magic. It only took him 8 weeks and several firings and lots of embarrassment to get what he finally wanted, and that was a win. There is an old saying that says if you say it long enough it will become truth. So as long as Andy Reid says that Nick Foles is his starting quarterback, it finally happened. And it couldn’t happen against a better Team. The Tamp Bay Buccaneers who were in control of their own destiny just 3 weeks ago are now on the bottom and looking up, and that is not a good thing.
The final Score the Beagles 23 the Bucs 21. Another Buccan game down the drain for Tampa Bay.
Nothing would be finer than to be in Carolina in the Morning. But no good can come of it with Cam “the fig” Newton playing like this. He was 25 of 35 for 287 yards with 2 touchdowns then added another 116 yards rushing and another touchdown. The Falldowns had wanted to be the first team to 12 wins this season, but that dream is over now. Playing like they did, they might not win a game the rest of the season.
Final score the Falldowns 20 the Panthers 30. This game wasn’t that close.
With Boo Boo Still in Chicago Da Bears traveled to Minnesota to take on the Viqueens. And since Boo Boo was still at home licking his wounds Da Bears had no eye in the sky or no bear in the air as it were. But one thing they did have was no answer for Adrian Peterson. He rushed the ball 31 times for a total of 154 yards. That is 5.0 yards every time he touched. Now he had a long run of 51 yards so in actuality he had 30 carries for like 103 yards which is still 3.4 yards per carry. And that is still fantastic if you ask us. You are asking us right? Then we say yes.
Final Score the Bears 14 the Viqueens 21. Look out below here comes Da Bears.
Holy cow look out here comes the J E T S JETS JETS JETS, after their big blow out win last week over the Cardinals the JETS went south to Jacksonville and took on the juggernaut that is the Jaguars. Mark Sanchez finally got on the right side of the dirty Sanchez this week by rubbing Chad Henne’s nose in it. This game came down to two things and two things only. And they are that the Jacksonville Jaguars have only two wins this season.
Final Score the J E T S 17 the Jags 10 Hey Chad can you wipe off that brown mustache you have before next week?
Tennessee came to Indianapolis trying to avenge a loss. But Mr. Luck wasn’t going to let that happen. He passed and ran his way into the heart of all the Colt faithful. And Adam Venatieri kicked two field goals in the fourth to allow even more Andrew Luck star studded highlights to reach ESPN. Giving Steve Young something else to talk about. But if Steve Young is talking is anyone listening???
Final Score the Titans 23 the Colts 27. Who is going to be rookie of the year?
We honestly thought that Pittsburg was going to win this game. We just knew that with Big Ben, and we don’t call him that because he is left handed if you know what we mean, was coming back to play. And with Norv Turner traveling all the way in from San Diego. And with Phillip Rivers playing, that the Steelers would do what they always do and lull the entire stadium to sleep and kick a field goal to win the game. But that didn’t happen and we are dismayed at the prospect of being able to watch the AFC Playoffs without the Steelers in it.
Final Score the Chargers 34 the Steelers 24. Stay Hard San Diego…
Something is a rye. Something is amiss. Something is grossly out of whack and we know what it is… okay say it with us. Cleveland wins!!! Apparently the clouds have opened up and God himself has pointed from heaven above and said you, Cleveland, you are the winner of this game. That makes three in a row. And that my friend is three wins in row for the first since the Bush Administration. The first Bush Administration not the last one. That was like 4 presidents ago. Don’t get to excited it was just the Raiders, and Chiefs, but hey the Jets have beaten the Cardinals and the Jags the last two weeks so we can compare pigs if you want.
Final Score the Chefs 7 and the Browns 30. Dare we say win streak???
About the only person to keep Andrew Luck from winning the Rookie of the year would be Robert Griffin the III. He passed for 246 yards, he rushed for another 34, he had no turnovers, and he helped two rather old ladies across the street and hyper extended his knee. That left the game in capable hands of his relative. Who came off of the bench…? What? Well it says right here that Griffin was replaced by Cousins after his injury, some guy named Kirk. Oh that is Kirk Cousins? No relation? Well never mind then.
Final Score the Ravens 28 the Deadskins 31. Oh yea and got the Raven offensive coordinator fired as well… That was quite a day for RGIII huh?
Let’s see what the Greatest Running Back in the HISTORY of the NFL did this week. LAMAR MILLER had 3 carries for 1 total yard. Oh wait it is a couple of lines up REGGIE BUSH had 14 carries for 65 yards. And he caught 5 passes for 38 yards. Is that what we think it is? Are you kidding us? Where is the fan fare? Where are the balloons? Where is confetti? REGGIE BUSH had more than 100 total yards. Just to put it a different way, REGGIE BUSH total yards > 100 yards. We are so happy. How happy are we? We are happier than an elephant on a peanut farm. And we were just in a stupid GEICO commercial.
Final Score the Dolphins 13 the 49ers 27. You didn’t think that the Dolphins won did you? Come on it’s the Dolphins for Pete’s sake.
We are sad to even have to report on this game. So we will not. In the second ever unanimous vote this week’s birth Canal Team of the week is the Cardinals. They have lost 9 in a row, the last two by a score of 65 to 6. This just isn’t even funny anymore.
Final score the Cardinals 0 the Shehawks 58. 58 points? You could only hold them to 58?
Now to America’s game of the week presented by Fox Sports. The New Orleans Aints were hoping that the commissioner’s office would finally give them some peace while they were in New York. But alas it was not meant to be on this day. Ellie came out with an angry look on his face and a Pass in his heart. Ellie was over heard in the locker on the phone saying “That is right Daddy, I am going to throw 5 touchdowns today against your beloved Saints and there isn’t anything you can do about it!” after he hung up the phone he told his teammate in the next locker, “I hope he checks his voice mail before the game starts.” And during the game he did throw 5 touchdown passes, four to Giant teammates and one to New Orleans kind of a Christmas gift. After the game he was on the phone with Peyton when he was overheard saying “No I didn’t send you an early Christmas present on Thursday. No I didn’t… No I didn’t. Well what is it? It says not to open till Christmas? I didn’t send you a package. No I didn’t. I don’t know what it is.”
Final Score the Saints 27 the Giants 52. Oh no Ellie Hung 5o on his daddy’s former team???
Finally on Sunday we only caught the end of Bob Costas’ rant, so we can only assume it was about the evils of the car industry and how with this death we should take all the cars away. They kill people, just like guns. There is no telling how many people we could have saved without having cars on the road. He also made note of a strange statistic that we have never heard before and it got us to thinking. He said that cars had killed more people in the in the last 12 years than they had in the 17 or 18 hundreds. And that is why then need to be removed from the road. Made us think…
Final Score the Loins 20 the Packers 27. Oh yea the Loins lose another one. Yea right like that was going to surprise anyone.
On Monday night the Best Pro team in Texas headed up to Boston for a little Tea Party. Oh they took their Quarterback Matt Schaub, they took their Offense and their defense and they even took their little letterman jackets with the number on it. When they got on the Field Tom Brady and his team punched them in the nose, stole their lunch money took their little jackets and told them to the hell off of their field. This was worse than when the devil went down to Georgia, because there wasn’t a golden fiddle. But Tom Brady did yell at Matt Schaub, as he left the field, “I told you once you son of a bitch, I am the best that’s ever been.”
Final Score Texans 14 the Pats 42. Yep the Superbowl may go through Houston, unless they lay down in the playoffs like a cheap bathroom matt.
Well that will just about do it for today boys and girls, be sure to tip your waiters and waitresses they are working hard for you. And during this holiday remember one thing. A true Friend doesn’t let his friend cheer for the Cardinals.
And remember like we always say…
Come they told me
Pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see,
Pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring
Pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King
Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
So to honor Him
Pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.
Little Baby
Pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too,
Pa rum pum pum pum
I have no gift to bring
Pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give our King
Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
Shall I play for you!
Pa rum pum pum
On my drum.
Mary nodded
Pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time
Pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him
Pa rum pum pum
I played my best for Him
Pa rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
Rum pum pum pum
Then He smiled at me
Pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum.
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