Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 13

                                                               Stroll down the NFL Boulevard


                                                                                   Week 13



So with Week 13 in the books we are we are finally three quarters of the way through the season, while that makes us a little sad we are a little happy about the playoffs. The clouds in the sky are parting and we are beginning to see the playoff picture and each it should become clearer each week. So Expo let’s get started.



First up comes the Thursday night game and the New Orleans Saints are trying to plant themselves right in the playoff picture they are like that goofy cousin that likes to put the two finger antenna above grandma’s head in the Thanksgiving picture. But standing in their way this week was Atlanta Falldowns. Atlanta was trying to be the first team in the NFL to get to 11 wins. Drew Brees was trying to keep that from happening. But just a tip to you Mr. Brees, from the Stroll, throwing 5 interceptions will not get you a win. And that is exactly what Brees did. As we have said before 5 interceptions is, in a word, “not good”.

Final score the Aints 13 the Falldowns 23. Aints are now 5-7 bleak in the playoff picture and the Falldowns are 11-1 at the top of the NFC.



First on Sunday we head to Nashville to find the best team from the state of Texas. The Houston Texans came to town looking to be the first team to 11 wins in the NFL. However they were a little late on that Quest has the Falldowns won on Thursday. Luckily the Texans were playing the Titans so they didn’t have any trouble. Checking the Box score we see that the Titans had 6 turnovers. There were 2 Apple turnovers, a Cherry turnover, a Peach turnover, 2 lemon turnovers served up by the Titan offense. And that was just offensive. And not very good either.

Final Score the Texans 24 the Titans 10. Texans are 11- 1 fighting for the best record in the league the Titans are 4-8 fighting for the 6 overall draft pick.



New England headed south with a few things to think about. Miami is where they ended up. Bill Belacheat was pondering could his team win 6 games in a row? Could they get to 9 wins? Would 2 touchdowns and 3 field goals be enough to win the game? How many points would the Dolphins score? Could they win a game without scoring 50 points? All ended up being true.

Final Score the Patriots 23 the Dolphins 16. The Patriots are once again AFC East Champions with a 9-3 record so far. And the Dolphins are 5-7 and fighting for the number 10 pick in the draft.



The Buffalo Bills may have figured out their quarterback situation. Since they know they don’t have a quarterback behind Ryan Fitzpatrick “the drunken Irishman”. They finally realized that less can be more. Fitzpatrick numbers read like a REGGIE BUSH line 17 attempts with nine completions for a whole 112 yards. But the difference is that REGGIE doesn’t get to 100 yards. This would have been a great audition for a team moving to a new city. Hey would somebody nudge Toronto I think they fell asleep?

Final score The Bills 38 the Jags18. The Bills are fighting for that 10th spot in draft with a 5-7 and the Jags are trying to get the number one pick at 2-10.



For the last several years there has not been any luck in Detroit. Bailouts, baseball team lost in the World Series, no hockey this year, and Loins team that can’t seem to get out of first gear. If the Loins were a sports car they would be up on blocks. Every time they think they have the game in hand something happens and they lose. Some teams are just like that. So with no Luck in Detroit the Colts had to bring their own, and it was just good enough to beat the Loins.

Final Score the Colts 35 the Loins 33. The Colts are 8-4 and staring the playoffs in the face. The Loins are 5-7 and fighting for the 7th pic in the draft.



Up next we find ourselves in the midst of a horrible tragedy. We at the Stroll prayed to our God on Saturday when we found out about the terrible Murder-Suicide committed by Jovan Belcher. This game was meaningless in the grand scheme of things. We are glad that it was played. If only for the Normalcy on the Sunday for everyone involved. We hope that you will or have already said your prayer to your God for the family’s involved the coaches and players of the Kansas City Chiefs to keep them safe and comfort them in this tragedy. My belief is that a Murder-Suicide is done in the wrong order. There will be more details on this tragedy forth coming.

Final Score the Panthers 21 the Chiefs 27. Rest in Peace Jovan and Kasandra Perkins. May the Lord above be with you always and with their 3 month old daughter who lost both parents in a matter of hours so sad.



And now for something completely different. The San Francisco 49ers and the St Louis Ewes played to a draw the last time they got together. Somehow neither team could impose their will on the other after 75 minutes. So when they got together this week there was quite a strange smell in the air. These 2 two team have played a total of 154 minutes and 34 seconds they are only separated by 3 points. Are you kidding us? After the game Winning Head coach Jeff Fisher was asked “This game came down to the end, were you worried about missing the kick with 26 seconds left in overtime?” Fisher replied “Well a 54 yard kick is a long one, but we think we could have gotten them in the 6th quarter for sure, at least that is what I told our team, before the overtime kick off.” Huh Coach there is no 6th quarter and you should know that you already have a tie this year.

Final Score the 49ers 13 the Ewes 16. 8-3-1 puts the 49ers on top of the NFC West and in the playoff picture for now. The Ewes are 5-6-1 on the outside looking in for right now. But they are eyeing that 12 draft pick.



Now for the biggest blow out of the weekend. Ryan Lindley made sure his team was not going to be forgotten in New Jersey. He completed 10 passes for 72 yards. And after you remove the sack yards he had a net of 66 yards passing. We have only 2 words for that effort. Holy Shit! But we will be damned if Mark Sanchez wasn’t just about as bad. He had 10 completions for 97 yards. After his sack yardage is removed he had 79 total yards but he had 3 interceptions to put the Icing on his cake. Rex Ryan finally did 2 things correct. He pulled his own head out of his own ass and he pulled Sanchez out of the game. How could anyone watch this debacle? We guess we could ask did anyone watch this game? So after the game in the Cardinal locker room heads were down and looks of disgust were on their faces until a knock came at the door. When the door flew open several JETS Cheerleaders came in and asked if they could do the Cardinals a cheer before they left. All the Girls shook their Pom Poms and cheered in unison. 2 - 4 - 6 - 8 who do we appreciate? Cardinals Cardinals Cardinals!!! The Girls then handed the trophy to one of the coaches and filed out of the locker room. Yep this week’s Birth canal team of the Week is the Cardinals.

Final Score the Cardinals 6 the JETS 7. While the Cardinals dream of making the playoffs are gone at 4-8. The Jets have lost all hope at 5-7. Both of these are praying to Santa for a good Player in the draft. They don’t where they pick.



So apparently the one team that can stop Adrian Peterson is the Viqueens. They gave him the ball 21 times for 210 yards. Which is fantastic; that has to be some sort of record. But how do they only score 14 points? Do the Viqueens need more help? Do they need better coaching? Or are they destined to be always being on the cusp or greatness with mediocrity standing in their way and they don’t know how to get around it. Sometime life is good like rushing for 210 yards. Then it is bad as you lose the game.

Final Score the Viqueens 14 the Packers 23. The Viqueens are 6-6 staring mediocre in the face again. The Packers are in First place in the NFC North at 8-4 looking good for the playoffs.



Next up Da Bears played in Chicago. We know a couple of things, When the Shehakws play at home, they win most of the time, and when they play on the road they lose. But in the crazy NFL they went into the Bear Den sat down in Papa Bears favorite chair, smoked from his favorite pipe and wore his slippers. As a matter of fact it looks like the Shehakws tied up boo-boo and did things that we can’t even mention here. Let us just say that boo-boo will not be the same.

Final score the Shehawks 23 Da Bears 17. At 7-5 the Shehawks are searching for a way to get in the playoffs. At 8-4 Da Bears are in the same boat, but are closer to the front.



The White Bronco waded into the Buccan waters of the Buccan game. The White Bronco played well as reflected in his line, 27 of 38 for 242 yards and three touchdowns. After the game a group of reporters gathered around the White Bronco’s locker. The White Bronco answered all question asked of him with poise and thoughtfulness until they had all gone except for one tall slender man with a rather smart fedora on his head and a manila envelope in his hand. He asked the White Bronco for a moment of his time, and was there some place he could speak in private. The White Bronco walked through the locker room to the showers and saw no one there. He turned and said this would be fine. The Tall man opened the envelope and said “It is true and DNA confirms it.” The White Bronco bit is lower lip and closed his eyes tightly as a single tear rolled down his right check. “Does anyone else know?” “Just your Mother, me, and now you. There is something worse look here at the last page. He is a Bengals fan. And he was kicked out of the game this week.” The White Bronco with a voice that cracked said “How could this happen?”

Final Score the Bucs 23 the Broncos 31. At 6-6 Tampa Bay might not make the Buccan playoffs. At 9-3 the Broncos have clinched the AFC West and are in the playoffs.



Up next the Bungels went to San Diego for a little fun in the sun. This maybe Norv Turners final season as a head coach in Chargerville. But he is not going to let that stop him from sucking as much as possible in these last 4 games. When Charger kicker Nick Novac kicked a field goal at the end of the first half the Chargers took a 13 to 10 lead which lasted well into the fourth quarter. However when the Bungels scored to make it 17 to 13 one fan seem particularly happy. He Chanted “watermelon. Watermelon, Watermelon Wine look on the score board and see who’s behind”. For several minutes this chant was heard in section 121 of Charger Stadium until security guards removed the man in the Bengals Jersey. They escorted him from the stadium and asked that he not return, ever.

Final score the Bengals 20 the Chargers 13. The Bungels at 7-5 are in the playoff hunt but need a few more wins. The Chargers at 4-8 are looking forward to the draft and the 8th pick.



This next game was not even as close as the score would indicate. In a game that might decide the 4 and the 6 picks in the draft the Browns went into Oakland. And wholly crap the Brownstains have won 2 games in a row. This game is in tribute to Eric Eucker the assistant groundskeeper who committed Suicide at the Browns facility in a Maintenance shed. The victim was found Saturday hung, no details like a note were found at the scene. Again this is tragic and on the same day as the Chiefs Linebacker.

Final Score the Brownstains 20 the Raiders 17. The 4-8 Brownstains are out of the playoffs. And the 3-9 Raiders are out of the playoffs as well but there new motto is gaining steam.



Is there any way to bottle the excitement of a Steelers Football game? It would be great for all those people with insomnia. Watching a Steelers game for us is like watching paint dry or grass grow, or reading stereo instruction in Spanish. Okay so this is what happens on a Sunday afternoon when the Steelers are playing. We make through the first three minutes of the game, then the lovely wife, tells her son to trade places with her she wants to lay on the couch. Then at the 10 minute mark of the first quarter we yawn. And close our eyes during a commercial. When we open our eyes that Horse face Shannon Sharpe is saying something stupid to Bill Cower on the halftime show and we didn’t realize that we slept through the rest of the first half. We look around and see that the Lovely wife is asleep on the couch and the son has left the room. The score is now Steelers down a touchdown or more, we yawn again and close our eyes again for a second while the yammering on the TV continues and when we open our eyes the game is now somehow tied and The Ravens are about to punt. Pittsburg takes over on their 15 with 6 minutes left. They keep the ball and kick the winning field goal as time expires. Seems like it was exciting, but even the highlights make us yawn with boredom, we blame Mike Tomlin for this.

Final Score the Steelers 23 the Ravens 20. The Steelers at 7-5 still need a few more wins but the playoffs appear to be in their future. At 9-3 the Raven should be in baring something strange happening.



There are many things that are sad when you talk about statistics. Like Drew Brees has thrown a touchdown pass in 50 something consecutive games. Club Footed Tom Dempsey holds the field goal record of 63 yards, many have tied but none have beaten it. And 99 yard touchdown run by Tony Dorsett back in the day. But now Toni Romo just passed Troy Aikman’s touchdown pass record. Before we recognize this accomplishment, we need Toni to do a few things. Win more games than he loses in December and January, and get his wife a better seat at the game. You know some place where the Camera can’t find her. We don’t mind seeing her, but 50 times on NBC is a little much. With that out of the way now we address you Bob Costas. What a nice editorial at halftime. So being a gun owner makes me a killer. Should we now give up our cars because a drunk driver killed someone? That kind of logic doesn’t fly. You blame the gun like it was floating up in the air and pulled the trigger itself. Do you blame the knife that slits the wrist or the rope that hangs? There are many ways to kills oneself, we think you just did it with a microphone; maybe we should ban the analysts microphone during their halftime editorial?

Final Score the Beagles 33 the Cowgirls 38. The Beagles at 3-9 are done like a Thanksgiving Turkey. The Cowgirls are 6-6 not out of the playoff picture but our best guess is that they will end up 6 and 10 or possibly 7-9, which would make them out for the playoffs.



And Lastly on Monday Night the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS went to land of Milk and Honey known has Washington DC. Just before the game Ellie got a call from the White Bronco. He appeared to be very sad afterward and his game showed his discontent. After the Game around his Locker Ellie was answering question when a sound came from the top of his locker, “Oh went the Saints go marching in” was the tune. “I have to take this” “Hey Dad did you see my Game? huh, well yea I know we didn’t win but we are still in First place… but Dad? But Dad? But Dad… Okay… “A tear Rolled down his check as he hung up the phone and announced that he was done answering questions.

Final Score the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 16 the Deadskins 17. Okay this is wild the Giants are 7-5, the Deadskins are 6-6 and one of these teams will probably win the NFC East. The other is probably out.



Okay well that will just about do it for us. First we need to apologize if we offended anyone this week. But the fact of the matter is that this was not a good week for the NFL, at least the referees didn’t screw up too bad. We hope you enjoy as much as we enjoy putting it together.



And remember like we always say…



My eyes are open wide

By the way I made it through the day

I watch the world outside

By the way I'm leaving out today



I just saw Halley's Comet she waved

Said "why you always running in place?"

Even the man in the moon disappeared

Somewhere in the stratosphere



Tell my mother, tell my father

I've done the best I can

To make them realize

This is my life

I hope they understand

I'm not angry, I'm just saying

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance



Please don't cry one tear for me

I'm not afraid of what I have to say

This is my one and only voice

So listen close, it's only for today

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/shinedown/second_chance.html ]

I just saw Halley's Comet she waved

Said "why you always running in place?"

Even the man in the moon disappeared

Somewhere in the stratosphere



Tell my mother, tell my father

I've done the best I can

To make them realize

This is my life

I hope they understand

I'm not angry, I'm just saying

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance



Here is my chance

This is my chance



Tell my mother, tell my father

I've done the best I can

To make them realize

This is my life

I hope they understand

I'm not angry, I'm just saying

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance



Sometimes goodbye

Is a second chance