Stroll down the NFL Boulevard
Week 8
Welcome to week 8 nearly half way through the season. And it seems like it has been a long hard season for some, and for some it appears it might be too tough to make it the whole way. First let us see who is off this week, Buffalo is checking their passports to get out of town, Cincinnati (insert joke here) Baltimore is home battening down their hatches getting ready the incoming Hurricane Sandy and Houston is sitting at home being Houston stinking it up in Houston. So with that out of the way I guess we can get started. Expo!!! Do your thing please…
First up Thursday night football is here to stay we guess. There are lots of things wrong in the world and the two knuckle heads on the Thursday night Broadcast are the epitome of what is wrong in broadcasting today. These two guys can’t talk their way out of a sexual encounter on a street corner. Just a tip guys Letters are used to form words, words are strung together to make sentences, sentences are lumped together to make a paragraph. Paragraphs are used to convey lucent points to the viewer. Until you get that down these broadcasts are going to suck
Final score the Yuccaneers 36 the Viqueens 17. Hell we might as well listen to two junior high boys asking a girl out on date.
First up we are finding out just what that “S” on Robert Griffin III’s chest stands for. The Steelers invited the all world Quarterback to Pittsburg and lulled him to “Sleep” like they do to everyone most every week. Is it a coincidence or what, but every time we try to watch a Steelers game we fall asleep. We think it is something hypnotic about the way they play or their uniforms or something. All we know is that we couldn’t make through the whole game without falling asleep then when we wake up the Steelers have won.
Final Score the Deadskins 12 the Steelers 27. Maybe it was those hideous uniforms they were wearing from the late 30’s. Throw back is good but these were throw ups…
Next we find ourselves in Detroit city, and we know one thing for sure. The Shehawks are built for the Northwest; and playing at home. The Lions showed what they were made of by having Matthew Stafford throw the ball 49 times for like 352 yards. That is a lot. If they only had a running game to go with the passing, 84 yards rushing isn’t going to win you many games. But this game came down to one thing and one thing only. When the Shehawks go on the road, and don’t score more points than their opponents, then they lose almost 100% of the time.
Final score the Shehawks 24 the Lions 28. That is the kind of stat you only get here…
Imagine if you will some kind of Bizarro world where everything is upside down and the Carolina Panthers could kick 5 field goals and win a game. That almost happened until Da Bears decided to steal a Cam the Fig Newton pass and run it back for a touchdown. Carolina Kicker Justin Medlock tried to steal the win with his fifth field goal of the day. But nobody puts Lovie Smith in the corner. As Da Bears drove down and kicked a game winning field goal as time expired.
Final score the Panthers 22 Da Bears 23. 6 field goals in this game. Way to drive that ball to the red zone and quit.
We keep waiting to the Falldowns to make a mistake, but most of the mistakes in this game were made by the Beagles. From the decision to start Michael Vick to Andy Reid not admitting he made a mistake by playing the all world dog killer. Vick is what is wrong with today’s NFL. He continues to ride his success from before he went to jail. And that quite frankly, was not that great. The New Falcons showed the old Falcon that they can get along without him. Hopefully one day soon the Beagles will realize as well.
Final score the Falcons 30 the Beagles 17. Yeah Winners, Boo Losers….
Next we head to a game that was going to be so bad they had to play it in a different country. Any time the Ewes play it is not going to be very good, and this week the NFL decided to let them stink it up in England. The only thing was we had a clash of the old England, and the New England, even though the New England is like over 200 years old. There is still some residual hatred for the ole Patriots on the other side of the pond. So we don’t think that anyone was happy about how this turned out or that the game was even played.
Final score the Pats 35 Ewes 7. Chip chip cheerio and all that sort of rubbish.
Up next we head to Tennessee for a little luck. Quarterback Matt Hasselbeck was over heard before the game saying “If we can just get this game tied at the end we will be in good shape.” Well as it turned out the Colts tied the game with three and half minutes to go and that is when it started for the Titans. They had the ball one more time and lost in overtime.
Final score the Colts 19 the Titans 13. Maybe you should hope to be ahead at the end of the game and not just tied.
Ooo. Do you smell that Expo? Yea it smells like someone left some sweaty gym clothes in the back of the closet and a rat crawled up in there and died of the smell. And that was about 3 weeks ago. This had to be the crappy game on CBS or any other network for that matter.
Final score the Chargers 6 the Brownstains 7. We think the smell is Norv Turners head coaching tenure with the Chargers.
Next we head to New Jersey to see the J E T S take on the Dolphins of Miami. Has anyone told the JETS that they suck? Rex Ryan has become the blow hard from the New Jersey. Anything he says is wrong and since he lost his weight it seems like he can’t coach a bit. Hey coach have a hamburger and figure out how to Use TEBOW a little and stop having Mark Sanchez give you the Dirty Sanchez, while throwing the ball 54 times. 54 TIMES, that is crazy. Good Lord even REGGIE BUSH helped his team by rushing 14 times for 59 yards with a long of 19. He did have a catch for 6 yards which is better than that TEBOW guy.
Final score the Dolphins 30 the JETS 9. How ridiculous have the JETS become???
When it comes right down to it Blaine Gabbert is no Aaron Rogers. Gabbert doesn’t have his own neighborhood. Gabbert doesn’t have a Super bowl win. Gabbert doesn’t have a discount double check. And this week Gabbert doesn’t have a win either.
Final score the Jags 15 the Packers 24. Still Giggle about that Packer name.
When The Raiders and Chief get together great things happen. The heavens open up and Angels sing from on high… What??? You have got to be kidding us right? Angels singing from on high??? Are you high??? These two teams could play their way out of a Wet paper sack. If the Raiders’ new slogan is just suck baby the Chiefs slogan should be we have been sucking successfully since 2003.
Final score the Raiders 26 the Chiefs 16. Angels on high… ppfftt…
Holy smokes the Game that all of America was waiting on happened to be one of runs. First the Cowgirls gave up the ball like third grader trying to do Algebra. The Giants ran out to a 23 point lead only to watch the Cowgirls score 24 points. Then the Giants had one more run in them for 6 more points. The next run came in Cowgirl Owner Jerry Jones pants. After the game Ellie tried to call his father to tell him about his game, when the phone picked up on the other end, Ellie spoke. “Hey Dad we w… well I know Peyton plays in a little while. But I just thought you might want to know how I did. Well I know you are busy getting your game face on. Okay I will let you go then.”
Final Score the Giants 29 the Cowgirls 24. So sad when father thinks of only one son…
And finally on Sunday night the New Orleans Saints head to the Rocky Mountains to face the newest white Bronco. After Peyton Manning threw 3 touchdowns and single handily won the game he headed into the locker room not long after his shower his phone began to ring. But not that familiar ring of when the Saints go marching in, but a different ring tone. When the ring tone "New York New York" came Blaring from the top of his Locker he knew who it was exactly. “Hey Ellie. Did you see my game? Well no I didn’t see your game. Sorry.
Final score the Saints 14 the Broncos 34. Does anyone watch Ellie’s Games??
And finally we have the Monday night game. Why do we insist on putting the Arizona Cardinals on television? The 49ers showed why they are in First place of the NFC West. And the Cardinals showed why they suck. Mere words can’t even describe just how bad the Cardinals are. So we have just one thing for them.
Final score the Cardinals 3 the 49ers 24. You guessed it the Cardinals are this week’s Birth Canal Team of the week.
Well that will do it for this week we hope you have enjoyed it as much as we have.
And remember like we always say…
I have a mansion forget the price
Ain't never been there they tell me it's nice
I live in hotels tear out the walls
I have accountants pay for it all
They say I'm crazy but I have a good time
I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime
Life's been good to me so far
My Maserati does 185
I lost my license now I don't drive
I have a limo ride in the back
I lock the doors in case I'm attacked
I'm making records my fans they can't wait
They write me letters tell me I'm great
So I got me an office, gold records on the wall
Just leave a message maybe I'll call
Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through
Everybody says I'm cool (He's cool)
I can't complain but sometimes I still do
Life's been good to me so far
I go to parties sometimes until four
It's hard to leave when you can't find the door
It's tough to handle this fortune and fame
Everybody's so different I haven't changed
They say I'm lazy but it takes all my time
Everybody says Oh yeah (Oh yeah)
I keep on going guess I'll never know why
Life's been good to me so far
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