Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 12

                                                             Stroll down the NFL Boulevard


                                                                              Week 12



Well Happy thanksgiving to everyone. We hope that you had a wonderful holiday. We did. It was great to see family and friends and eat. We like to eat. We like to eat a lot. So let’s see who is off this week? Expo did you get the list from the NFL on who was off this Thanksgiving weekend? You did? Where is it? On top of this stack of papers? This page is blank. So nobody is off? Okay couldn’t you just say that? Well hell I don’t know I was eating pies all weekend. Let’s just kick it and get started we got a long way to go.



First up the Thanksgiving Day tradition lives on. So the Loins invited the greatest team from Texas to their house in Detroit to beat them up. Did the Replacement referees get some holiday pay this week? This was possibly the worst officiated game since that debacle in Seattle back in week 3. Someone might need to tell the head official for this game, that when a ball carrier falls on the ground with his knee, hip and elbow, even though is helmet is on the belly of the defender he can’t get up and start running for a touchdown. The runner is down by contact. Now to Stevie wonder in the replay booth put down the damn turkey leg and do your job as well. We can understand if you were watching the Macy parade from New York, but when a replay is in question try watching a monitor before you just say “Well I didn’t see anything to overturn what was called on the field.” We don’t blame the Loins coach for getting upset we were happy to see that he didn’t kick anyone in the groin after that call.

Final score the Texans 34 the Loins 31. A boy named Suh took care of the groin kicking in this game, he didn’t get a penalty because Matt Schaub has no balls.



At the first Thanksgiving the Indians came and helped the pilgrims in the new land they called home. They brought things like vegetables, and fresh cooked meat, and bread for the pilgrims to put in their mouths. When The Deadskins came to Dallas they brought some things as well. They brought Robert Griffin III, 4 touchdowns passes, three more turnovers by the cowgirls, lots of things to stick in the cowgirl fans mouths. No not what you are thinking, but pacifiers. Toni Romo struggled again in the first half as all he could muster was 3 points. RGIII put up 28 in the second quarter and the game was over.

Final score the Deadskins 38 the Cowgirls 31. And this game wasn’t as close as the score might indicate.



And finally the last game on Thanksgiving night the NBC Special. Okay we get it. The team from Boston is an offensive juggernaut they can score at will and they hung nearly another 50 on another team. And we have only one thing to say about this game, Is there any more pie left?

Final score Boston 49 the JETS 19. This game wasn’t as close as the score showed either. 30 points isn’t close is it?



First up on Sunday we find the White Bronco traveling to the familiar hunting grounds known Kansas City. Sometimes there is just nothing funny about Kansas City. When the Quarterback introduced before the game and crickets are heard chirping, you might know that this is not going to be good. Brady Quinn is better suited to huh… well to say picking up garbage would be an insult to hard working garbage men all over the world. He is paid like a congressman maybe we should send him to Washington as he is about as productive as some of the guys up there. (Insert your own political party here) But the One the Kansas City did do was to win the Birth Canal team of the week.

Final score the Broncos 17 the Chefs 9. Three freaking field goals is all that they could muster. How sad.



Buffalo was heading to warmer Climates to look for some luck. What they found in Indianapolis was bad luck. What Buffalo didn’t know was this was let’s be Thankful for Head Coach Chuck Pagano. Players and cheerleaders, fans in the stands, and front office staff decided to shave their heads to show their support for the Coach who has cancer. The shame of it was that Buffalo was invited to join in. We think they did but we don’t know what call a shaved Buffalo, but we bet it looked kind of funny.

Final score the Bills 13 the Colts 20. Come on you were thinking about a shaved buffalo. You can admit it. And you smiled right?



As much as we would like to say something nice about this next game it is difficult. Let us say that no team no matter how talented can win a game in the NFL with 8 turnovers. Even if you are playing Cleveland. Everyone on the Steelers who touched the ball either threw an interception or fumbled the ball. After the game Head coach Mike Tomlin was asked if his team found it hard to hold on to the ball? He replied “Did you see the game? Were you on the field or under some rock? If I could pick anything up I would throw it at you but I would probably drop it before it got out of my hand or someone would intercept it. Why don’t you get back to me next week Jackwagon?”

Final score the Steelers 13 the Brownstains 20. At least the Steelers didn’t wear their throw up uniforms again.



In the next game we want to point out a few statistics. They had 14 first downs. They had 12 third downs and they converted only 3 first downs. They had 99 yards rushing. They had 119 yards passing. They were sacked 4 times and lost 27 yards. They had 6 punts. Lost one fumble and had one pass intercepted.

Final score 10 the Bengals 34. Just Suck Baby!!! Al Davis has to be turning over in his Sweat suit in his grave.



Such a huge deal was made of Seattle traveling all the way to Miami to play a game against the Dolphins. They had to travel 2700 miles. And what have we learned in our time together boys and girls? Teams don’t travel across the country and win and this was no different. What? One Second. What is that Expo? Hold on Folks we have an update from this very game. It appears that REGGIE Bush is going to break the 100 total yards in the game. We are going to pull the curtain back here and we see that REGGIE had 14 carries for 87 yards. Okay he only needs 13 yards in receptions did he make it? He had one reception for -5 yards. What the hell is he watching tape of TIM TEABOW?

Final score the Shehawks 21 the Dolphins 24. Well crap he should have dropped that pass.



In Tampa Bay the Falldowns came to town looking for another win. They wanted to be the first team 10 wins in the NFL. But alas that went to the best team in the state of Texas, so they had to settle for the best team in the NFC, which isn’t too bad. The Falldowns are playing just well enough to win. The Buccaneers played their little hearts out but just could get over the Buccan hump.

Final score the Falldowns 24 the Bucs 23. This is a game of inches and points. And it only takes one point to win.



Jay Cutler had seen all he could see and he could see no more. And what he saw was the Viqueens coming to town. He went to the Head Ranger Lovie Smith and said. “Put me in Mr. Ranger Smith sir. I can get us a win.” And win he did. He put 25 points on the board in the first half then told the monsters to get on the midway and send the Viqueens home with a bad taste in their mouths. This game got so bad that the referees stopped it after 3 quarters.

Final Score the Viqueens 10 Da Bears 28. Okay Let us all say it together Viqueens lose, Viqueens lose, Viqueens lose. Doesn’t that feel good?



Jacksonville has a lot of things to be thankful for, they have football on Sundays. They are thankful for Chad Henne. They are thankful that the counting of ballots is finally over and they can declare a winner in the election that took place about 4 weeks ago. And they are thankful that the Tennessee Titans came to town this week. Because most of all Jacksonville is thankful for their Second win!!!

Final score the Titans 19 the Jags 24. We heard that after the game Chad Henne tried to walk on water, Jacksonville is also thankful that the water was only knee deep.



We would like to apologies to the entire state of San Diego. 4th and 27 should never be made. But it should never be made when one of the key blocks was a block in the back. And that is what happened on Sunday. Ray Rice made it the whole 27 yards, but the last block was in the back and no one saw it but the 65 million people who watched it on replay. That should have been the greatest play that never was. We are sure it was exciting but it appears to us that the referees from Thursday game in Detroit should up in San Diego and screwed up another call. It appears that after the play was over the officials got together in a huddle and all looked at each other and said “Wow that was great, did anyone see that block in the back? If we call it we have to run fourth down again. Hell let’s just give them a first down, it’s the Chargers for God’s sake.”

Final score the Ravens 16 the Chargers 13. “First down Ravens. And the block in the back is not reviewable”



Do you know what happens when Ryan Lindley drops back and attempts 52 passes? He gets sacked 2 times and throws 4 interceptions, and completes 31 passes. And the Cardinals lose. But losing is nothing new because the Cardinals a lot. Do you know what happen when Slingin Sammy Bradford drops back 17 times? He completes 8 passes and gets sacked 2 times and throws 2 touchdowns as well, and Ewes Win. And that is something new because the Ewes hardly ever win. But who needs to throw the ball when Steven Jackson is rushing for 139 yards. After the game some fan asked Steven Jackson “hey can I get that Jersey?” To which Jackson replied “This one it is all sweaty?” but the fan persisted “Huh Yea?”

Final score the Ewes 31 the Cardinals 17. That is just creepy… surely the NFL can have a better marketing plan than trying to sell sweaty jerseys…



And now we get to America’s game of the week. This week America was force fed another great match up between San Francisco and the New Orleans Saints. Drew Brees had a great game throwing 5 touchdown passes. Too bad 2 of them were touchdowns for the 49ers. Colin Kaepernick threw only one touchdown for the 49ers but he ran one in as well. We know that Alex Smith was hurt but this might just be the game that allows Coach Harbough to finally get his guy on the field. Let’s give you a little background on Mr. Kaepernick, he was born in Milwaukee Wisconsin, It looks like he was conceived on an alcohol and chocolate induced Valentines night frenzy by his parents in 1987, but we could not confirm that on Wikipedia, we it was Valentine’s day because he was born in November. He was drafted from that well known Football factory “Nevada”, we believe their mascot is the Mafia, or maybe the Pit Bosses they recently changed it due to a conflict with the previous mascot name the One Arm Bandits, (People all over the world were outraged) The 49ers moved up in the draft to get their man in the 2011 draft.

Final Score the 49ers 31 the Aints 21. Are the Aints playoffs dreams turning into a nightmare?



Finally on Sunday night Mr. Rogers’ discount double check went to New York to check out the damage of Super storm Sandy. But this was not the weekend to be in New Jersey. You see they were several people that were very upset about the super storm, New Jersey governor Chris Christie has been so upset since the storm that he has added Snookie to his cabinet as the Official storm watcher. Not sure she is going to be able to watch the storms; this move is like the West Virginia Governor nominating Honey boo-boo as the chairperson on Children education reform committee. It seemed like a good idea in his head but didn’t turn out that way in the end. After the game Ellie was standing around his locker with reporters answering question. “How does your Arm feel? is it still tired?” to which Ellie asked his teammate/friend and next door locker mate Henry Hynosi “Can you feel my arm. And see how it feels? See if it is tired?” Just then a strange sound came from the top of Ellie’s locker. It was a voice calling out the features of the new Bronco on sell now at your local ford Dealers. Sorry I have to take this. “Hey Peyton, did you see my game? We really took it to the Packers. Huh no I have not heard from dad I usually leave him a message after the game, but I have not called him yet. Yes I told you we had fun eating Bar-b-Que on Thursday instead of Turkey. Yes I said I was thankful you gave me directions to Dads house even though I knew how to get there. And yes I was thankful for your new Car.”

Final Score the Packers 10 the NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS 38. At least Ellie didn’t that the disappointment of not talking to his father.



And finally what could have been the worst match up in the history of Monday night football, The Philadelphia Beagles invited Cam “the fig” Newton and the Carolina Panthers to town. You know how sometime when you have to hunks of junk someone can make it in to a thing of beauty? Well MNF had two hunks of Junk and no amount of talking, building up, Storytelling, scenes from that creepy travel trailer that Jon Gruden has could make this game anything but pitiful. The most fitting thing that happened in this game was that Graham “the Cracker” Gano missed an extra point.

Final Score the Panthers 30 the Beagles 22. Just 5 more games for Andy Reid and us to suffer through.



Well that will do it for us this week. We hope that you enjoy this as much as we enjoy putting it together.



And remember like we always say.



A million miles away

Your signal in the distance

To whom it may concern

I think I lost my way

Getting good at starting over

Every time that I return



I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

I'm learning to talk again

Can't you see I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?



Do you remember the days

We built these paper mountains

And sat and watched them burn

I think I found my place

Can't you feel it growing stronger

Little conquerors



I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

I'm learning to talk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?



Now

For the very first time

Don't you pay no mind

Set me free again

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/f/foo_fighters/walk.html ]

To keep alive a moment at a time

But still inside a whisper to a riot

To sacrifice but knowing to survive

The first to climb another state of mind

I'm on my knees, I'm praying for a sign

Forever, whenever

I never wanna die

I never wanna die

I never wanna die

I'm on my knees

I never wanna die

I'm dancing on my grave

I'm running through the fire

Forever, whenever

I never wanna die

I never wanna leave

I never say goodbye

Forever, whenever, forever, whenever



I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?

I'm learning to talk again

Can't you see I've waited long enough

Where do I begin?



I'm learning to walk again

I believe I've waited long enough

I'm learning to talk again

Can't you see I've waited long enough