Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 3

                                                Stroll down the NFL Boulevard


                                                                   Week 3



There are times when life will kick you. And then there are times when Life will kick you and kick you and kick you. Then stomp on you, then take away your favorite pet and kick it too. Like our pops used to say “Life ain’t fair”. That was no more prevalent than week 3 in the NFL… oh wait we just got a false start penalty… Damn it Expo stay still… so let’s back up five and start again. Expo... Expo, Raise your hand, okay the whistle has blown, Kick it please…



First up we find ourselves with another “Thursday night Football game” on the NFL Network. How many homes get this channel? Are they mostly in the city of New York? Because it seems like the New York Football Giants play on it nearly every week. Carolina obviously thought the game was another time because they didn’t even show up till the 3rd quarter. Then they scored their one touchdown and headed to their locker room content that their job was done. Ellie had another nice game, but it looks like he got a little tired at the end as David Carr got to come in and Spare everyone to death.

Final Score the Giants 36 the Panthers 7. Hell even Derek Anderson got on the field and we would have guessed him dead.



Gloom, despair, and agony on them. Andrew Luck was the greatest quarterback to come out of college since the draft started. He is can’t miss, he can step right in and start and take his team straight to the bottom; because we know one thing for sure he is not at Stanford any more. He did however drop back some 46 times and heave the ball down field. Only 22 of then found their mark which was not bad. And he carried that same pigskin 4 more times for a total of 50 plays, the Dolts only ran 75 and after you take out punts and kickoffs and extra points they only had about 12 plays where he wasn’t involved.

Final score the Jags 22 the Dolts 17. Maybe they should rethink their distribution system, and spread the ball around a little more???



Speaking of spreading the bull around the Buffalo Bills have mandated that their Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick not take a drink before the game on Sunday. Also, that has worked out for them. Fitzpatrick spread the ball around to seven teammates. After the game Coach Chan “the Man” Gailey was excited to find out the Bills had a chance for 3 game winning streak. “This has not happened to our franchise since the Zachary Taylor administration. And we are as giddy as a freshly shaven lamb after a long winter.” We aren’t sure how that relates to the game, but it sure sounded funny

Final score The Bills 24 the Brownstains 14. Nothing like a good sheep reference to get the day started…



Ok let’s now check in with Miami and see how the greatest running back in the history of the NFL faired this week. REGGIE BUSH had a spectacular game last week accounting for more yards than he had in any other game in his professional career. This week he built upon the success he had last week by carrying the ball 10 times for 61 yards, but his long of 16 makes his true stats 9 carries for 45 yards. But wait he had one catch for 1 yard. The Dolphins had the ball for 12 drives and once during overtime, and REGGIE BUSH touched the ball 11 times. Once per drive, they certainly did spread the wealth didn’t they??? But hey that is more than TIM TEBOW!!!

Final score the J E T S 23 the Dolphins 20 Did TIM TEBOW even get a snap?



Up next the Mighty Chiefs went down to celebrate a little Marti Gras. The New Orleans Aints welcomed them with open arms. They proceeded to run the score up to 24 to 6, then they packed up and left the superdome like they had just stolen something. They were looking for Cajun justice. However the Chiefs lulled the Aints into a false sense of security and after the Aints left the field the Chiefs kicker Ryan Succop started to score like he had a pocket full of beads. He will win this week’s Golden Toe award has he kicked the Aints ass to the tune of 5 field goals. Question what do you call 1 safety, 1 touchdown and 5 field goals?

Final Score the Chiefs 27 the Aints 24. Answer: another Aints ass kicking.



Next was a huge barn burner of a game when the Bungels went to Washington. Marvin Lewis whipped out his favorite secret weapon and watched Mohammed Sanu throw the ball 73 yards to AJ Green for a touchdown. After that, Andy Dalton took over and led the Deadskins to their first touchdown, as he threw an interception that was returned for 6 points. After the game was tied in the third quarter Andy Dalton threw 2 more touchdowns to his own team and the Bungels scooted out of Washington with a win.

Final Score the Bungels 38 the Deadskins 31. We guess Mr. Robert Griffin III needs another subway sandwich.



Up next there was game where no one wanted to play defense. This game didn’t even get interesting till there was about 7 minutes to go as the Lions scored to go up by 7. Then the Titans ran the kickoff back for a touchdown to tie. There were more touchdowns scored in the final 7 minutes of this game then were scored in 7 or 8 other games. And they were mostly over 60 yards. There were too many for us to cover in the time allotted let’s just say that the replacement Ref’s were not in the way of this game.

Final score the Lions 41 the Titans 44. And let’s say that the replacements ref’s did get in the way, just not here.



Did anyone expect the 49ers to come to the home of the Viqueens and get a win? We didn’t because a west coast team can’t travel across the country and win. It just doesn’t happen. Not in this NFL. But the real shame is that the Viqueens had to win the game. So let’s take a look. Well, look what we found. Adrian Petersen had maybe the best game, as he rushed 25 times for 86 yards with a long of 20 making his true stats 24 to 66, now that is production.

Final Score the 49ers 13 the Viqueens 24. Well someone had to win; too bad it was the Viqueens.



Up next Da Bears brought the ewes to slaughter. They didn’t even dress up in sheep clothing; they just wondered on the field and started to eat. Slingin’ Sammy Bradford took one hard on the chin this week with 6 sacks, and he threw 2 interceptions. While the Ewes were sparing us to death they weren’t the worst. Are these the 50% Bears again, win one loss one???

Final Score the Ewes 6 Da Bears 23. We shall see…



Okay so we are going to talk about the next game but before we get too far into it we want to talk about the new coach. The Yuccanneers new coach from Rutgers is a jackass. Can we say jackass? We know we can’t call him what we want to call him, so Jackass will have to be good enough for now. If you line up, you should play hard but when the other team is just trying to kneel down it is best if you let up. It is too bad that Tampa Bay will never know what it feels like to kneel down with a win.

Final Score the Yuccanneers 10 the Cowgirls 16. Yes we Said JACKASS!!!!



Funny thing happened on the way to the end zone, Michael Vick got crushed. And we think that was great!!! Vick had 2 fumbles one returned for a touchdown. Too bad it was the Ari-Freakin-zona Cardinals that had the touchdown. Vick did return from the hit to lead the Beagles on 2 third quarter drives, both leading to field goals. These are not the Cardinals that we are used to, but we are sure that they will rear their ugly heads again soon.

Final score the Beagles 6 the Cardinals 27. We are a little giddy over the hit…Ha Ha Ha…



Next we ease on down to San Diego and find the Chargers and Falldowns. As we have said many times before and continue to say, you can’t travel across the country and win, unless you are playing the Chargers. This game was all Falldowns as the Chargers didn’t put up much of fight; we have seen more fight by a coma patient than what the Chargers put up. After the game Phillip Rivers was asked about his performance. “Well I think that anytime you have a team come from the East coast to your house on the West coast and bitch slap you then, you know, we really acted like the lady part on the inside of that lacy pair of panties you are wearing.”

Final Score the Falldowns 27 the Chargers 3. There you go The Birth Canal team of the week!!!”



It looked to us like Peyton Manning was stuck in traffic. Because he didn’t get to the game till about the 4th Quarter. And then he was the best quarterback on the field with a debilitating neck injury. The Texans rolled to 31 points in the first 3 quarters then left the field. Peyton was then able to put together two nice drives for touchdowns. After the game head Coach John Fox was asked about his Quarterback. “Huh we heard he got caught up in some Orange cones and the On-star representative was from Houston.”

Final Score the Texans 31 the Bronco’s 25. Hope he enjoyed listening to Outlaw Country.



There are times, during the season, when the schedule maker gets it right. This week was it. When the Pittsburg Steelers traveled to the black hole and we don’t mean the Stadium, to take on the Oakland Raiders. It looks like the Steelers had an early flight out of town as they left in the fourth quarter. How many times do we have to say it? You have to play four full quarters unless you are playing in Denver.

Final Score the Steelers 31 the Raiders 34. There were several signs in the stands “Just Suck Baby” it is growing in popularity.



Now we get to the Sunday night game. There are just few things you can’t do in life. You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit in the wind, you don’t pull the mask off the ole Lone Ranger, and don’t put your hands on a replacement referee. Just ask Bill-Bella cheat. He wanted to confirm, with the Referee on the field, a close field goal call. Well the referee didn’t feel like he needed to discuss the call further, and proceeded to run off the field. Bella-cheat wanted a more complete explanation and grabbed the official pulled him to the ground and gave him a few noogies. What? He didn’t hold him down? He didn’t give him a noogie? Well did he at least touch him? Okay, well that should cost him something.

Final Score the Pats 30 the Ravens 31. Quote the raven nevermore…



And Finally the Monday night game. Everyone wants to talk about the Last play of the game. That is of no importance. The packers didn’t get screwed. That game should have never come down to that play. If The Vaunted, and I mean VAUNTED, super bowl want-to-be Packers want to get back to the super bowl they better start playing like it. We know they pay the Shehawks to play too, but this was ridiculous. Aaron Rogers needs to come up with a better touchdown dance than the one they keep making fun of on the All State commercial. 8 sacks??? Get rid of the damn ball. Throw it away. And stop blaming the referee’s. Did you get hosed? Yes. Should you have gotten hosed? No. Are you the better team? Yes. Did you play like a team that wanted to win? No. And that is why you got beat.

Final score the Packers 12 the Shehawks 14. And Golden Tate, that is 2 chicken S… moves on your part. And Remember God Don’t like ugly.



Well that will just about do it for us here at game central. We hope that are enjoying these as much as we are enjoying putting them together.

And remember like we always say….



Uptown got it's hustlers

The bowery got it's bums

42nd Street got Big Jim Walker

He's a pool-shootin' son of a gun

Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come

But he stronger than a country hoss

And when the bad folks all get together at night

You know they all call big Jim "Boss", just because

And they say



You don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger

And you don't mess around with Jim



Well outta south Alabama came a country boy

He say I'm lookin' for a man named Jim

I am a pool-shootin' boy

My name Willie McCoy

But down home they call me Slim

Yeah I'm lookin' for the king of 42nd Street

He drivin' a drop top Cadillac

Last week he took all my money

And it may sound funny

But I come to get my money back

And everybody say Jack don't you know

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jim+croce/you+dont+mess+around+with+jim_10149470.html ]

And you don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger

And you don't mess around with Jim



Well a hush fell over the pool room

Jimmy come boppin' in off the street

And when the cuttin' were done

The only part that wasn't bloody

Was the soles of the big man's feet

Yeah he were cut in in bout a hundred places

And he were shot in a couple more

And you better believe

They sung a different kind of story

When big Jim hit the floor now they say



You don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger

And you don't mess around with Slim



Yeah, big Jim got his hat

Find out where it's at

And it's not hustlin' people strange to you

Even if you do got a two-piece custom-made pool cue



Yeah you don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger

And you don't mess around with Slim