Stroll donw the NFL boulevard 2010 week 12

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 12 2010

Here we are week 12 and the Holidays are upon us. With lots of happy feelings and good cheer for one and all we see who is on the naughty list and who is on the nice list. Things may change from here on out but the playoffs are coming and they are coming faster and faster each week. So if you are ready, then we are ready. So let’s get going Expo do your thing please…

So we will start the bottom this week. Way back in the day when Thanksgiving was right, our family used to get to Grandma’s around 10AM and the kids would go out and play football, and the Moms would help with the cooking and the dad’s would sit around in the living room and talk about how great the year was. They would talk about what they were going to get their families for Christmas. They would talk about how Detroit was going to play or how the Cowboys were going to do, then 11:30 CST would finally arrive and we would all gather around the smallish by today’s standards and watch Detroit get killed. We would call it our appetizer. So then after the game was decided some time before half we would get a plate and begin to talk as the game became secondary. This year was not much different except that Detroit hung in there a little longer, almost made it to the pumpkin pie this year.
Final Score the Patriots 45 the Lioness’ 24. Pats are on the naughty list, Detroit on the nice list. What team is nicer that Detroit?

Next the Cowpies were looking to win 3 straight games for the first time this season and give the Diehard fans something to cheer about on Turkey day. The key stat in this game that you will only see here. The Cowpies had 6 fumbles but as usual the last one was the most costly. If you could put a price tag a fumble we say that this one was about 27 million. Is that what the Cowpies are paying Roy Williams? Well never mind now. Hey he did give the fans something to scream about, Most were screaming to hold on the Freaking ball you dumb S-O-B. Well like the ball going through Bill Bukner’s legs in the World Series. Someone had to be Calvin Schraldi and today that person was Terrance Newman has he let some nobody run down the sidelines and catch a Drew Brees pass then the Saints Scored . We guess that when you lead the game 20 to 6 at halftime you should win. But like a dagger thru Jerry Jones heart this; one hurt the fans, the team, and that little boy in all of us wanting the cowpies to be better than this.
Final score The S-Aints 30 the Cowpies 27. New Orleans on the nice list Cowpies on the suck list.

Now that we have talked about memories and how we used to be on Thanksgiving we come to the most needless game on the schedule this week. This game could have been played on Thursday, Friday or Saturday. It could have been played in New York, New Jersey, or the Moon, but the fact remains that as long as the NFL plays a game on its own network then only 2 million people are going to have the chance of seeing it. How crazy is that. We did however think it was cute that the folks in New Jersey got to see 2 home games this week. So to talk about this would be disrespectful to those who saw it live, or should I say that slept through this game
Final Score the Bunguls 10 the J E T S 26. No Last second heroics this week. Just one long dirty Sanchez for the Bunguls. JETS on the naughty list because of their coach, and the Bunguls are so close to the suck list that we are not sure if we can stop it.

Okay so now we get to Sunday, and we find the Battle of Houston. This game had to be the bottom game of the week. Why would anyone battle for Houston? Well let’s just take a look at some of the Stats of Titan Quarterback Rusty “The Nail” Smith. He had a stellar performance as he went 17 for 31 for 138 yards. He had 3 interceptions and probably sucked as he walked off the field just before his team punted 7 times in the game. Wow 9 first downs 10 penalties 20 minutes in time of possession and do you think Jeff Fisher’s job is in Jeopardy? Hey he is the longest tenured Head Coach in the NFL logging 17 seasons with the Titans. However what is cool about him is he has only 6 winning seasons during that time. Do you think he wants a do over with Vince Young? Hey maybe he can trade for Matt Leinart the Back up in Houston surely he can’t suck as bad a good ole Rusty. Oh wait, he probably sucks worse. With the lack of production by the Titans it looks like the Texans could only muster 20 points. We know that you want us to talk about the fight. Here is what we boil it down to. Cortland Finnegan is a punk, always has been and always will be. He should have been suspended.
Final Score the Titans 0 the Texans 20. Both teams on the naughty list. Hey Jeff Fisher here is your prize for the game, no it is not a game ball it is the Birth canal team of the week though.

Now let’s talk about the Buccan game. After months on wondering if the Buc’s were for real we found a test for them. The Baltimore Ravens and Joe “the Delaware Destroyer” Flacco fit the bill nicely. And the Buc’s held their own a late touchdown probably made it closer than it should have been, but hey after a couple a poor seasons the Buc’s are coming out of it nicely. After the game Joe Flacco was asked “Could you see the Buccaneers coming at you during the 4 sacks you took?” He thought for a moment then answered “I couldn’t see a Buccaneer, a damn ear, or any kind of ear? They were wearing helmets you Jack wagon.”
Final score the Bucs 10 the Ravens 17. Bucs on the nice list Ravens on the naughty but only because Ray Lewis killed that guy at the Superbowl .

Up next we have Debut of Leslie Frazier has Viqueens head coach. And being the analyst the Frazier is he was able to get Brett Favre to not throw an interception. Yes it is true. For what seems like forever Brett Favre didn’t throw an interception. And apparently the heavens opened up and God looked down and pointed at the Viqueens and said “You will win.” You know how sometimes a stat just jumps out at you and you can’t do anything about it??? Well the line for Brett Favre Rushing shows us 5 rushes for 9 nine yards. Not Reggie Bush numbers but when you see that is long was 10 yards he really had 4 rushes for a -1 yard. Now that is impressive…
Final Score the Viqueens 17 the Deadskins 13. Both on the Naughty list… You can’t sext pictures of yourself and expect to be on the nice list. And you have to be in good shape to be on nice list…

Okay up next we have to talk about the game that should have never been played. The Brownstains and the Panhandlers played a game and you know what? The only highlights are the one that showed Peyton Hillis. Now we aren’t sure but we think that this Hillis guy is the only thing that the Brownstains have and if the Carolina can’t figure out how to stop him then they don’t deserve to win. Well the thank goodness they didn’t. This is probably more than this game deserves…
Final Score the Panhandlers 23 the Brownstains 24. Neither of these teams deserves the nice list, and both should be on the suck list.

Now we hear about the Ellie the good Manning son. All it took was for Peyton to falter and look who is right there waiting in the wings to be the best manning kid. At the End of the game Ellie was heard in the locker room on his cell phone “Hey Mom. Thanks for the great Turkey dinner I think it really helped me out this week. Yea we won we are 7 wins and 4 losses now.” On the other end of the phone a voice said “Well dear now you know we don’t make fun of anyone in this house. If you don’t have anything nice to say about anyone then you don’t say anything.” Then someone screamed in to the phone “Is this my sissy of a son who has only been to 1 superbowl?” Eli replied “Yes Dad. Hey did I tell you we won and the big game and I threw 2 touchdowns today?” In a Drunken stupor Eli’s Dad replied “You only threw 2 touchdowns? I bet you didn’t even throw for 250 yards did you? DID YOU!!!???” “No” Eli replied “But we won the game, isn’t that what is important?”
Final Score the Jag20 the Giants 24. Jags and Giants both on the nice list, but Eli’s Daddy, he is going on the naughty list.

Imagine, if you will, two opposing forces that when they get together everything kind of just fizzle. The Head Coach of Shehawks Pete Carroll had a chance to prove that his team belonged in the NFL. Then the Kansas City Chiefs Showed up to ruin Pete’s Thanksgiving Day meal. After the game during the press conference Pete Carroll was asked “Hey Coach, and we use that term loosely, did you think you were back in the game at 24 to 35 after you scored so quickly?” “Well” Pete replied “we think we are always in the game, no matter how far behind we fall.” “Then another reporter asked “So do you think you are still in the game now?” “Well as a matter of fact no we are not in the game now, but if we play them again…”
Final Score the Chiefs 42 the Shehawks 24. We guess we have to put the Chiefs on the nice list and the Shehawks should be on the stupid list.

So up next we have an old AFL Matchup as the Raiders came from Oakland to the land of Sunshine and Love, Better known as Florida. It looks like the Raiders were soaking up something, and it was not offense. The Raiders had a total of 262 yards and just 11 first downs. You are not going to win much with that kind of figure. Mr. Al Davis had a terrible under that velour sweat suit. As an example of like of production, Darrin McFadden had 8 carries for 2 yards. That is terrible. And he had a long carry of 6 yards.
Final Score the Raiders 17 the Dolphins 33. Dolphins on the nice list, Raiders on the Suck list. Wouldn’t you know that McFadden is on my fantasy team?

Next didn’t you just know that when Ryan Lindell kicked the game tying field goal to put the game in over time that the Kicking Gods were looking down on Buffalo smiling. Knowing that they had, for the moment, made up for that superbowl disaster from the 90’s. Then they won the toss and you got the sense that they might have a chance, then they had a great return and they were set up on the Pittsburg 48 yard line. Then Ryan Fitzpatrick, steady and true, dropped back and scanned the field. He Found Steven Jackson running alone while Stealer defenders trailing him like he was some guy on Cheaters. And as the ball was coming down everything went in to slow motion, and for just a second you started to celebrate as you began to realize that the Buffalo Bills were going to win against the Pittsburg Steelers. Then Stephen Jackson let the ball slip through his fingers all the way to the ground and it fell harmlessly there. This play ended like one of the world cup Soccer games, Lots of running around but not much scoring.
Final Score the Steelers 19 the Bills 16. We can only guess the Gods smiling turned in to laughing… Steelers on the Naughty List and the Bills on the nice. They never beat anyone and let everyone beat them.

Up next Da Bears Stole another Pik-a-nic basket, this time from the Beagles. Michael Vick came to town and decided to lead his team on Field goal drives. But field goals don’t win in this league unless you are the Steelers. Anyway da Bears made Michael Vick their little boo boo. And he had a few boo boo’s as well. He had an interception and 15 incompletion as well as 4 sacks. Hopefully they will lose the rest of their games and miss the playoffs, but that might not happen.
Final Score the Beagles 26 Da Bears 33. The Beagles are on the naughty list and Da Bears are on the nice list.

Now we will talk about the newest name change here at the stroll. The St Louis Ewes have been moved to the new status of the “Rams” Slingin Sammy Bradford has the Rams pointed in the right direction. If that direction is up then he is okay. We still don’t think he will hold but for now is doing better than any quarterback in say Arizona. We were looking for TIM TEBOW but he was nowhere to be found. During the post game press conference Head Coach Josh McDaniel’s was asked “Hey Coach why didn’t you use TIM TEBOW? Was he available?” McDaniels Glared at the young reporter and said “That is our secret Weapon? Who told you about him?” “Hum it is common knowledge that you drafted TIM TEBOW in the draft in April.” The reporter replied. “Well he is our secret weapon and he will remain a secret until such a time as we need a weapon.” The Coach retorted. “Don’t you think you needed a weapon against the St Louis?” asked the reporter. To which the coach said “they are St Louis do you think we really need help beating St Louis???” It looked like you did “wonderkid”. Did you not have enough game film on St Louis???
Final Score the Rams 36 the Bronco’s 33. Here the Rams go on the nice list. Denver should go on the stupid list but we are going with the ever popular Suck list…

And Last on Sunday night we find Peyton Manning in the worst of his Career. His last couple of games have been real stinkers. It is like he is channeling Matt Schwab or something. After scoring first the Colts were treated to a very nice offensive showing by the Chargers. Charger Head Coach Norv Turner had reason to hold his head high and his chargers stomped a mud hole then walked it dry, all over the Colts. After the game, Peyton was sitting in front of his Locker with his head in his hands he hears his cell phone start to ring. As he opens it up and puts it to his ear, he hears the familiar voice. “Hey Peyton, sorry you didn’t do well tonight, is there anything I can do for you?” “Well as a matter of fact yes you can.’ Peyton said. “Can we find an all night ping-pong Parlor and play a few games, I have something to talk to you about.” “What is it?” came from the other end of phone. “ Well I need to get rid of Nick Lachey ever since my mom talked about him I can’t seem to get his image out of my head.” To which the other end of the phone replied ““I swear on everything that is holy, I Justin Timberlake will help you get rid of that Jack wagon. “
Final score the Chargers 36 the Colts 14. Oh no what is Peyton planning next? Chargers on nice list and it looks like the Colts on the Naughty list, depending on what happened in the next few weeks.

And Finally on Monday night we find the Cardinals and the 49ers in what turned into a laugher. It was so funny that even the players were laughing about it on the field. Hey Derek Anderson why don’t you do everyone a favor and just quit. We are sure that there is some division 3 school trying to start a football program that needs a poor excuse for a quarterback. And right now you are the poorest excuse we can find. You get baited to easily and that reporter baited you till you short circuited. Your press conferences should be used as and example of how not to answer questions. For that matter your game tapes should be shown as how not to quarterback a professional football team. Honestly we have seen better quarterback play in high school games.
Final score the 49ers 27 the Cardinals 6 now for the list the 49ers are on the nice list and the Cardinals are on the suck list…

Well that will just about do it for us this week. We hope you are enjoying this as much as were are putting it together…
And remember like we always say….

ohoh my friends feel it's thier appionted dutey .
oh they keep tryna tell me hunhuah ,
all u wanna do is 2 use me
hey hey my answer
hey hey and i wanna spread the news that if it feels this good gett'n used,
oh u just keep on use'n me....
untill you use me up
hey hey till you use me up

hey my big brother,
huh huh sit me down in the room and talked to me
yeah u know he told me yuh huh huhhey that i autha not let u just walk on me
and i'm shure he ment well yeah
uh huhbut when our talk was through,
hey i said brother if you only knew,
you'ed wish you were in my shoesyou just keep on use'n me till
you use me up
yeah hey till u use me up
hey u know some times it's true u realy do abuse me
get me among your high-class friends
hunhunhuh hey hey then u act real rude to me
huhhunh but oh baby ,
baby baby baby when u loove me i can't get enough
hey and i wanna spread the news ,
that if it feels this good getting used oh u just keep on using me
hey hey till u use me up
hey hey untill u use me up
hey hey and now u talking bout use'n people
it all depend on what you doit aint too bad the way your using me cause i shure am using you to do that thang you do
hey hey do that thang you do