Well let’s start at the bottom and the bottom this week appears to be covered by white hot pants a Blue halter top and white Cowgirl boots. What in the hell was that? Da Bears came to Dallas after getting a very shaky win over the Lions last week. Then looked like something that could hardly be considered a football on the first series. But all that changed mid way through the 1st quarter. The Cowgirls seem to play to their own weaknesses. When asked after the game why the team didn’t run the ball better? Wade Phillips exclaimed “We had our shoes on and we were trying but our foot to ground ratio wasn’t very good.” Yea right. Well we will tell you what was pretty good, and that was your ratio to the Birth Canal team of the week this week.
Final Score: Da Bears 27 the Cowgirls 20. We guess maybe Da Bears are this good…
Now we head to Tennessee to find the Steelers coming to town. What a game? Could this game been any better? We think it could have the only touchdown the Steelers scored was on a reverse on the opening kickoff. Nice? Sure. Consistent? Not hardly. If Pittsburg was holding on for the Jail Bait Lovin Ben Roethlisberger to get back in the lineup then they only have 2 more weeks. The Defense forced several things, 7 turnovers 5 punts, and lots of heartburn. Heartburn for Vince Young, heartburn for Jeff Fisher, heartburn for the entire organization, can they get a prevacid? Jeff Fisher took out Vice Young in favor of Kerry Collins but the result was the same. A loss against the Steelers.
Finals Score the Steelers 19 the Titans 11. You really have to work to get to 11 points…
Up next we head to Ohio to find the Bunguls inviting the Ravens to town. The Ravens were playing on a win after the Bunguls got kicked around last week; however the Delaware destroyer Joe Flacco found the orange and black 4 times for interceptions and with Ted Nugent favorite song if you can’t lick em… Lick em… blaring through the speaker his brother Mike Nugent kicked 5 field goals to win. Not sure how else we can sum this game up except to say that you can’t win with 4 interceptions.
Final Score the Ravens 10 the Bunguls 15. We guess that the Ravens got Cat scratched fever.
Let’s go to Detroit next and find the Beagles coming to town. The Lions are getting closer but are still just too far away without Matt Stafford. Shaun Hill has about as much chance at winning an NFL game as Matt Leinart. As close as the Lions have gotten, they are still that far away when they have turnovers, 2 more interceptions today. Michael “the Dog Killer” Vick had a nice game but 6 sacks will send him back to the sidelines right where he belongs, when Kevin Kolb comes back from his concussion hopefully.
Final Score the Beagles 35 the Lions 32. Missed it by this much…
Well let us head down south to hot-lanta. When did Ken Whisenhunt forget how to coach? When did his team just give up in a game? When did the Ari-Freaking-Zona Cardinals just quit on a game, or a season or each other. The Falcons came into the game with fire in their eyes and gird in their loins to fight the Cardinals the full 60 minutes… Expo who is writing this crap? What? Can’t we just say what we think about this game? Why? Everyone needs equal time?
Final Score the Cardinals 7 the Falcons 41. This game sucked for everyone watching, if there was anyone watching.
Now we will head to the great state of Minnesota to find the great Brett Favre. The Viqueens won the time of possession battle 36 to 24. They won the first down battle 22 to 12. They won the total yard battle 226 to 364. The great Brett Favre was 22 for 36 for 225yards for no touchdowns and 3 interceptions. So let us add up all these stats… 5 add the one, carry the 2 and the subtract that 4…
Final Score the Dolphins 14 the Viqueens 10. What they didn’t win was the total points in the game…
Okay everyone needs to take cover for this next report. Don’t be the tallest one in the area. Duck and cover as the lighting will be coming down soon… Armageddon is upon us as the Kansas City Chiefs are 2 and 0. What is next in the world? Cats barking like dogs, Horses wearing people clothes, Babies driving cars? Our one saving grace is that Matt Cassel had three scoring drives for a total of 9 points and with an interception return for a touchdown the Chiefs scored a total of 16 points.
Final Score the Chiefs 16 the Brown Stains 14. Isn’t 16 points to be beat the Brown Stains? This week is was...
Time now for the Buccan Game. This week Josh Freeman was working from a checklist. Complete at least have of my passes, 12 of 24 check. Don’t throw any interceptions, Zero turnovers check. Use your legs to get out of trouble, 4 rushes for 43 yards check. Score in every quarter so the other team knows you are here, 2 touchdowns and 2 field goals check. Hand the ballgame over to that Spurlock guy who does all the crazy 30 day shows on TBS… What that is not the guy? Oh well they were playing the Panthers, and every beats them so far this season.
Final Score the Bucs 20 the Panthers 7… this might Qualify as the crappy game on Fox, only because the Panthers were in it…
Oh Wow the next game we will talk about…. Hummm what to say? What to say? Green Bay played real well, or maybe it was their opponent. Not that their opponent was any good. In the world of insignificant this team is up at the top. Mister Rogers Neighborhood was like a blood bath, we don’t remember ever seeing Mister Rogers inviting someone over to kick the crap out of someone. We don’t think they will be his neighbor… even if he says “Please wont you be my neighbor”
Final Score Bills 7 the Packers 34… We can’t say anything about Buffalo. So we won’t…
Hey now it is time to talk about the greatest College football player in the history of College football… Tim Tebow as everyone remembers was drafted by the Denver Bronco’s to run a special package in the red zone. Let us take a look at his stats… Well he did not have an interception, or a dropped pass, he did not even throw a pass. Well did had zero rushes for zero yards… did they really need Tim Tebow greatest college football player of all time? We guess not they were playing the SheHawks.
Final Score was the SheHawks 14 the Bronco’s 31. Hey Expo did he even get into the game?
Well we shall now head out West for what would be the game to settle nothing. With nothing on the line but pride both of these team showed that they didn’t have much. Sam Bradford is playing his little heart out but has about the same amount of talent around him has Jason Campbell does. It was really sad all summer long to hear how great the Raiders were going to be this season. We are still waiting on that, it is early but we are not sure the Darren McFadden and Steve Jackson aren’t about the same. With neither one of them being very good. The only thing the Raiders have going for them is that Bruce Gradkowski could come in for Jason Campbell.
Final Score the Ewes 14 the Raiders 16…
Okay well here we go again. In San Diego we find the funny quote of this day from David Garrard. “It was a terrible day at the office” Said Garrard who threw four interceptions. “It is a day that you don’t want to have. Honestly If I could erase it from my memory from today, I would, but we can’t” he probably couldn’t forget because after he went out because of poor play is back up got so shaken up that he couldn’t go back in so Garrard had to go back in and make his day even worse.
Final Score the Jaguars 13 the Chargers 38... Stay Classy San Diego…
Up next was a game that was needed desperately but the J E T S Jets Jets Jets... The Jets needed this game far more that the Patriots did, but the Pats came out fighting in the first half. Quarterback Tom Brady was heard while leaving the field at halftime saying “Gosh does this place stink, or is it just me?” Well three turnovers and 2 punts in the second half didn’t do much for New England. Except lose the game. Well Tom we think that maybe what you were smelling was coming from right under your nose. After the game Mark Sanchez was overheard asking Braylon Edwards “Who got a dirty Sanchez today?” to which Edwards replied “I don’t know who got it today but I am going to party like a rock star tonight”
Final Score the Pats 14 the J E T S 28. We think we know who got what…
And the final Day game of Sunday went a little extra before it was settled. The Texans went to Washington to kick butt and take names. In the first half they had no butt to kick and no name to take, however in the 2nd half the Texans found their way and took the names of Donavan McNabb and Mike Shanahan, then kicked their butts in overtime. We are not in favor of icing the kicker by calling a time out just before the ball is snapped. That move works about 10 percent of the time.
Final score in Overtime the Texans 30 the Deadskins 27 We guess this is the 1 time out of the next 10 it will work.
Sunday Night we had the Manning bowl. This game, like the rest of the bowl games are old and out of date. We guess the best thing from this game was the clips of Peyton and his sister Ellie on the pregame. “Who is your Favorite Quarterback?” Asked by the interviewer “My Daddy”. Cute in its own right. But wouldn’t have been funnier if little Ellie had of said”But who is your Daddy?” with an evil little laugh after… Well he didn’t but there was an evil little laugh coming from the stands after Brandon Jacobs threw his helmet in the stands. Have you ever heard the expression that he couldn’t hit the ground if he threw a rock at it? Well Jacobs threw his helmet at the ground then magically it stopped just inches from the ground and began to fly up in the stands. It almost hit someone 10 rows back. If it hadn’t been such a poor throw it might have hurt someone.
Final Score the G-Aints 14 the Colts 38. Hell the G-Aints couldn’t have it the broad side of a barn… Even with a helmet.
And Lastly on Monday night we find the New Orleans Saints visiting the 49ers into the refurbished super dome. Reggie Bush was excited about getting to play on a nationally televised game that he had the game of his life. Let us take a look at the stats of greatest running back in the history of football this week: 5 rushes for 4 yards with a long of 4 yards. That makes his stats 3 rushes for zero (0) yards. He also had 4 catches for 30 yards with a long of 11 yards and a touchdown not bad. But he had another fumble and capped that performance off with a broken leg which will keep him out for 4 to 6 weeks. How will the Saints hold on?
Final Score the Saints 25 the 49ers 22. How will the saints survive without Reggie Bush’s production or lack there of?
Well that is it for another week. We hope that you enjoy this as much as we enjoy putting it together. Don’t forget to comment good or bad all comments are welcome. And don’t be afraid to share what you see with anyone else who may enjoy as well.
And remember like we always say…
Now there was a time
When you loved me so
I could have been wrong
But now you needed to know
See, I've been a bad, bad, bad, bad man
And I'm in deep, Yes I am
I found a brand new love for this man
And I can't wait till you see I can't wait
So how you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
Remember the time
When I eat you up
You know that I wasn't lyin'
that you can't give up
So if I was to cheat
on you baby would you see right through me
If I sing a sad, sad, sad, sad song
would you give it to me
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
Does that make you love me baby
Does that make you want me baby
Does that make you love me baby
Does that make you want me baby
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
How you like me now
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