Stroll Down the NFL Boulevard 2010 Week 3

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard 2010
Week 3

Hello everybody and welcome to another installment of the Stroll. Lots of things happening this past weekend, and we are going to talk about them here. So if no one has any questions then we can get started. Expo, do your thing!!!
First of all we will start at the bottom, and this week the bottom brings us to Jacksonville, home of the Jaguars and not much else. They invited over the Philadelphia Beagles for a game. The Dog Killer Michael Vick was heard telling Head coach Andy Reid afterward, “I have worked harder to drown dogs than this game was.” His Stats bear that fact out as he threw for 291 yards on 17 completions. Jags Head Coach Jack Del Rio, was taking questions after the game when he was asked: “When you were putting your game together for the Beagles, What were you thinking?” “Well” Del Rio stated “We were hoping to meet them here at the game and you know talk to them, see what hobbies they have? Maybe what their favorite color is and what they like to do on a Sunday afternoon?” Hey coach we have a question, did you think that this was a match.com date or a football game? Because you laid down like you were getting money to lift your skirt and show everyone what you were made of.
Final Score the Beagles 28 the Jags 3. And you are the Birth Canal Team of the week in case you didn’t know.

Moving up the coast a little we will find Carolina. Nothing would be finer than a Carolina win, but this week it would be more difficult than finding a Soggy Claussen pickle. By the way Jimmy “the Pickle” Clausen found himself in one as he tried to bring his Panthers to the winning side of the jar this week. Hey Jimmy a little advise for you because we know you are new. If you don’t win the turnover battle you will not win usually. You had 3 and that is not good. You did spread the passes around 7 receivers catching a pass is good, but completing only 16 is not. And that leads us to this….
Final Score the Bunguls 20 the Panthers 7. Thank the Great Cucumber in the sky that Jonathan Stewart knew where the goal line was.

Okay we should all turn to the left and take 4 giants steps to the Northwest. We will head to Kansas City. The Chiefs are playing pretty well right now. We think that this is the first time they have won 3 in a row since the Clinton Administration. Well the 49ers of San Francisco are playing so bad they should fire someone around there. What? Jimmy Raye? Isn’t he the guy from Good Times? Yea you know. Dy-no-mite!!! He isn’t? Then who is he. Oh then can tell me who he is not?
Final Score the 49ers 10 the Chiefs 31. Oh… He is not the Offensive Coordinator of the 49ers anymore.
Up next we will head to the North and the East. In Foxburough MS we find a rough Battle between two original AFL foes. The Buffalo Bills visited the old Boston Patriots. Wow we sure do love those old AFL helmets logo’s that cool lone Buffalo on a white helmet and who could forget “Pat the Patriot” down and ready to snap the ball to whoever is going to play quarterback. Oh the memories, they do light the corners of our mind. But to get back to this game the Bills finally did something right, they released their starting quarterback. Who would have thought that Trent Edwards was holding them back, but he was. Ryan Fitzpatrick was channeling former Bill QB Jack Kemp, except the result was a little different.
Final Score the Bills 30 the Pats 38. Well this week’s result was the same, another Bill Loss. Hey Bills fans Hockey season has started so Viva la Saber’s…

Okay two big steps South and you will find yourself in New-Freaking-Jersey, home of the G-aints. The G-Aints aint playing too well lately, and by lately we mean since game 7 of last year. After starting with 6 wins the G-Aints are 3 and 11. That is not very comforting. And the prospects of getting better are not too good. This week Ellie tried a left handed pass that went about has well swapping the mashed potatoes for Dog poop on the Thanksgiving table. On the other side Vince Young didn’t get pulled this week but he only completed 10 of 16 passes. He didn’t have any turnovers and that makes it a good day for him.
Final Score the Titans 29 G-Aints 10 when the other team is having a good day the G-Aints are having a bad one.

Just a small hop South we find the Battle of Cleveland. The Brown Stains came to visit the Raven. The Raven as everyone knows by now moved to Baltimore from Cleveland, we aren’t sure but that might be out of the frying pan and into the fire. After the BrownSstains took the lead with a field goal in the first quarter the Delaware destroyer Joe Flacco threw a pass touchdown to Anquan Bouldin. Then for good measure he threw another touchdown to Bouldin in the second quarter. After Halftime Bouldin wanted to try his luck at throwing a pass which didn’t work out too well. He completed the pass but for minus 6 yards. Later in the huddle Flacco told him to go long. 27 yards was long enough to score another touchdown and put the game out of reach…
Final Score the Brown Stains 17 the Ravens 24. Quote the Flacco nevermore?

Okay now it’s time for the Buccan game. All the way down from Pittsburg the Steelers were worried about facing a team that has not lost this season. We think they were a little worried all the way up till game time. Then Head Coach Mike Tomlin told his team just before the game “Hey we are not the Pirates and they are not the Rays.” “So let’s go out there and kick some Buccan butt.” Once the Steelers realized that they were not the Pirates that Tampa was then the game was over.
Final Score the Steelers 38 the Bucs 13. AAARRGGG Mattie’s. Oh did we say that out loud?

Okay now everyone turn the left. Hey your other left. Okay now one giant step. Now one little step. Okay look around and find yourself right in the middle of Katrina ravaged New Orleans. 5 years after devastating Hurricane the people of New Orleans still waiting for someone to give them a hand. This week without Reggie Bush on the field (he is home with a broken leg, dusting the shelf his Heisman trophy used to sit on) the Saints played their little hearts out for him. However the hero of last week, Garrett Hartley, kicked the game tying Field Goal with just seconds to play to push the game into overtime. But with the game on the line to win, he pulled a Heather Mills and pulled the ball wide right. “Gosh, Dang It. I thought I could make that one” was what was heard after the miss. This allowed Matt Bryant to be the hero.
Final Score the Falldowns 27 the Saints 24. Meet Garret Hartley and his new book “From hero to FEMA Rep in 6 days”

Okay turn and face the North please. Okay now three Giant steps. Watch out for those lakes. Here in Minnesota we find that there might be some regret in going to get Brett Favre. We should check out the stats for the game. The Unretireable Brett Favre was 23 for 34 for 201 yards with a touchdown and 2 interceptions. That will get him a wonderful Quarterback rating of 68.4. Who the hell understands that Quarterback rating crap anyway? But we digress. The Quarterback on the other side was 29 of 43 for 237 yards with a touchdown and 2 interceptions. That gave him a Quarterback rating of 69.6. Hey Brett you should set your sights higher the Shaun freaking Hill of the Detroit Lions.
Final Score the Lions 10 the Viqueens 24. Well in a battle of winless teams someone has to win right?

All right now everybody turn around again and take a giant step to the South. Okay now a little one to the East. What? Yes son we are in Missouri, don’t touch anything you don’t want to catch anything. Here we are right here in St Louis. We are so glad that Donavan McNabb has decided to buy into the Mike Shanahan system. We can hardly contain ourselves to watch him spiral downward. For so long he was the face of a franchise that didn’t want him and won in spite of him. Just like another old and rundown quarterback who can’t seem to let go of the past. Will we have to watch as McNabb slowly crumbles into the shell of his former self? Okay well back to the game. Break up the Ewes, they won a game with Slinging Sammie Bradford throwing the old bean around we aren’t sure how many games the Ewes will win. What we are sure of is that he will not last a full season; if he does it will be amazing.
Final Score the Deadskins 16 the Ewes 30. This was a probably the crappy game on Fox…

Everybody please we need to move South and West, but more West that than South, if you know what we mean. Houston we have a problem, if you know what we mean. For the last several years the Texans have tried with all their might to get past themselves and win consistently we don’t think that they can do that with Matt Schaub at the helm if you know what we mean. So when you are 2 and 0 facing a team that is 0 and 2 and you are at home. You should win the game, you are better than that aren’t you? Well the best thing from the game was the referee who couldn’t remember what the call was and that Earl Campbell was in the stands and we got to see some highlights of him if you know what we mean. Touchdown Tony Romo finally got his act together and threw the ball with a little more accuracy, if you know what we mean, and a little less throwing it to the other team if you know what we mean.
Finals Score the Cowgirls 27 the Texans 13 and the game wasn’t that close if you know what we mean.

Okay now we will move to the north and to the west. Oh watch out for that mountain. If fact we can all climb that mountain if we want so we can see down into the Stadium. This is the Home of the greatest College football player in the history of the NCAA, TIM TEBOW. Peyton Manning was overheard saying to Jeff Saturday “Did you know that before the boogey man goes to bed he checks his closet for TIM TEBOW” then Saturday responded “Did you know that TIM TEBOW hits blackjack with just one card” Then Joseph Addai spoke up and said “DID you know that Superman’s Weakness is Kryptonite and TIM TEBOW laughs at superman for even having a weakness.” TIM TEBOW Stats this week 0 carries for 0 yards 0 passes attempted 0 passes completed for 0 yards. Crap it is like he didn’t even get in the game.
Final Score the Colts 27 the Bronco’s 13 TIM TEBOW 0. Did you know that TIM TEBOW has counted to infinity twice….

Alright everyone please turn and take one step south, the one step to the West again. Now we find ourselves in Ari-Freaking –Zona. Riddle us this Batmen “How does a one point game become boring and unwatchable? Try 6 field goals made and 3 missed. Oh yea add the Cardinals and the Raiders and this was the worst game on CBS not just because there were 47 points scored, not just because there were 4 turnovers, not just because there were 18 penalties, not just because there were 11 punts.
Final Score the Raiders 23 the Cardinals 24. But all of those things rolled up into one game, thank God this game happens only once every 4 years.

Final for the Sunday day Game we will head back up North three Giant Steps that direction please, now one tine step West and we will be in Seattle home of the SheHawks. Just so that everyone knows there are three phases to the game we call football, Offense, Defense, and Special Team. And baby they don’t call them special because they are retarded. But right now the San Diego Charges are playing like a bunch of retards on kickoff coverage. Good Lord you have just scored to tie the game and it looked like head coach Norv Turner put a scarecrow, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen (only when they were about 3 years old) Lindsey Lohan, the tooth Fairy, the Easter bunny, the Governor of New York David Patterson, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, Kicker Nate Kaeding, and Generalissimo Francisco Franco on the kickoff coverage. Well you don’t have to be Billy “White Shoes” Johnson or Gayle Sayers to score on those people. And Pete Carroll gets another win. The really sad part about that is the Pete is working with a smaller payroll than he did at U$C…
Final Score the Chargers 20 the SheHawks 27. Good God Kermit the frog and Miss Piggy would have been better on coverage than the one Turner put out there.

And Last but certainly not least on Sunday we find the NEW YORK FOOTBALL JETS the best football in New York. Well they really don’t play in New York, they play in New Jersey. But this week they migrated down the coast to Miami. Mark Sanchez J E T S Quarterback was overheard saying to Braylon Edwards “he man sorry you can’t start, but we will give it to them in the end” And that they did, because in the third quarter near the end of the game Edwards caught a touchdown pass from Sanchez as he crossed the goal line he had just one finger held high in the air as if to say “We’re number one”. But we aren’t all together sure that was what he was alluding to. Late in the fourth quarter, Edwards was heard telling Sanchez “Hey Mark when I caught the ball I noticed some kind a smell on the ball it got on my finger. I was going to wash it off in that swimming pool for that Dolphin that they used to have here, but I couldn’t find it, so I just gave my glove to some fat kid in the stands. Man I liked those gloves but the stink on them was terrible.”
Final Score the J E T S 31 the Dolphins 23. Looks like Mark was giving Braylon a Dirty Sanchez.

And finally we have Da Bears. They stand 3 and 0 after the first three games. This week Mister Rogers’ neighborhood tried to go on vacation to Jelly Stone Park. Unfortunately the Packers came up a little short. Near the end of the game just after Da Bears had tied the score Yogi (AKA Lance Briggs) knocked the ball out of James Jones’ hands for a fumble. Boo boo (AKA Tim Jennings) scooped it up for the recovery. Green Bay Head coach Mike McCarthy exclaimed to the Official on the field “Hey they just stole our Pic-a-nic Basket. What are you going to do about it?” The official replied “After further review the ruling on the field stands Da Bear never left the woods and therefore was not out of bounds.” That allowed the Bears Kick Robbie Gould to kick a field goal to win the game.
Final Score the Packers 17 Da Bears 20. Coach McCarthy thought Ranger Smith would be on his side. But he wasn’t…

Well that will do it for us this week. We hope that you have enjoyed this week as much as before. Actually we just hope you enjoy reading some of our thought. So until next time….
Remember like we always say…
You show us everything you've got
You keep on dancin' and the room gets hot
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You say you wanna go for a spin
The party's just begun, we'll let you in
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'

I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day

You keep on saying you'll be mine for a while
You're lookin' fancy and I like your style
You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You show us everything you've got
Baby, baby that's quite a lot
And you drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy
You keep on shoutin', you keep on shoutin'

I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day
I wanna rock and roll all nite and party every day

I wanna rock and roll