Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2009 Week 7

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 7 2009


Week 7 is here and gone and now we must put our little prospective on it. First things first however is everyone playing this week? No. So let us tell you who isn’t. Denver, Detroit, Tennessee, Seattle, Jacksonville and Baltimore are all off, but some of those may have been off more than just this week. Let’s get to the games shall we?

Have you ever seen anyone die in person? Well we have, and nothing reminds us more of watching people die than watching an Oakland Raiders game. These guys are finding new ways to kill themselves. After the euphoria of beating the Beagles last week they come into this week and it is back to reality. This was like walking down the hall of a nursing home after they slipped everyone a prune flavored lollipop. How long are we going to have to sit and watch this team crap in the bed??? We will give the Oakland Raiders this weeks Birth Canal Team of the week but someone else is going to have to clean it up for next week.
Final Score the J E T S 38 the Raiders Not a damn Point. Did someone say Dirty Sanchez?

Not moving up too far we find the Packers heading to Cleveland to face the Brown Stains. Can things get any worse for Cleveland? They have 2 quarterbacks on their Roster, but the head Coach doesn’t think either can play. “Derek Anderson gives us the best chance to win” Head Coach Eric Mangenius said, so lets look at his numbers: 12 completions in 29 attempts for 99 yards with 2 sacks and an interception. Wow if that is the best he can do maybe they should be forfeiting?
Final Score the Packers 34 the Brown Stains 3. Derek Anderson gives you no chance to win. Dumbass.

Okay setting up this next game we would like to mention that the Colts are undefeated and the Ewes are winless. Do you really need anymore explanation? Welcome to St Loser Peyton Manning, get your win and move on.
Final Score The Colts 42 The Ewes 6. When will the Ewes ever win a game?

Although the Penny’s had a game doesn’t mean that they played. After allowing 2 touchdowns in the first quarter Tampa Bay would not be able to catch up. We tried to come up with something positive to type about Tampa Bay. And we are positive that they would lose to any junior high team in Florida. People in Florida are putting up goal posts in their front yards to keep the Penny’s away.
Final Score the Pats 35 Tampa Bay 7. This game wasn’t even that close.

In Kansas City they were still so excited over the win against Washington last week that the offense decided to stay on the Sidelines this week. The Paramount moment of the game came when Head Coach Todd Haley decided to go for a fourth and 1 from his own 41. Quarterback Matt Cassell didn’t make it. That is their season in one play. Hell they might as well have taken the snap wondered around in the back field like they were looking for 4 leaf clovers until the defense came and pushed them down.
Final Score the Chargers 37 the Chiefs 7. What do you call a joke that is not funny? The Chiefs…

Down in Carolina they have a joke that is not too funny either it is called the Panthers. Question: What do you call a Buffalo in Carolina? Answer: A Winner. The Buffalo Bills came to town riding high after defeating the J E T S last week and stuck it to the Panther this week. You wonder how they did it. We did as well so we took a look at the stats. And they were out gained 425 yards to 167. They lost the first down battle 20 to 9. And Time of possession was not close 35 minutes to 25 minutes. Terrell T O Owens was asked after the game how they won the game. “Hey man I am involved now and you know I make things happen when I have the ball”. Well three catches for 27 is not much production.
Final Score the Bills 20 the Panther 9 but the Results are pretty good.

Next up we see Da Bears are celebrating their new found success at Quarterback by giving him a new contract extension for 2 more years. He in turn went out and gave Da Bears all he had to win that game against the Bengals. Which was 26 of 37 for 251 yards and 3 interceptions. Wow how much did he get? 30 million? We Guess Da Bears are made of money, or they the next thing with ties to the President to get a government bail out. Hey Jay maybe you should take some lessons from Carson Palmer who threw 5 touchdowns. Very nice.
Final Score Da Bears 10 the Bengals 45. Was there a game that was at least entertaining this weekend?

Finally a game that was at least watchable for some of the country. Brett Farve’s game against the Pittsburg Steelers was a game that was once again forced down our throats. It was boring like every other Steeler game until the final few minutes. Okay Down by 10 points the Great Brett Favre dropped back to pass but fumbled the ball and LaMarr Woodley scooped it up and returned it 77 yards for a touchdown. So the Steelers are now up 27 to 10 and all is lost. On the sidelines someone whispered in Percy Harvin’s ear “Hey if you want Brett to throw the ball your way you better do something with it.” So he returns the kickoff for a touchdown. After a punt Brett goes back to work and drives the Viqueens down until he drops back and throws an interception to Keyaron Fox that is returned for a touchdown.
Final Score the Viqueens 17 the Steelers 27. The Viqueens Lose the Viqueens Lose, The world is back to right.

Up next a game of 2 halves finally came to an end. And we guess that we will have to Declare Houston the winner. How does Matt Schuab keep doing it? He just wins game despite himself. This week the Texans score 17 points in the 1st half while the 49ers scored 17 points in the 2nd. But the Texans manage a field goal in the fourth to get the win. We can defiantly say that when the Texans score more points than their opponents they win…
Final Score the 49ers 21 the Texans 24. But when they don’t they lose…

Welcome to the Miles Austin show. He has shown exactly what an undrafted wide receiver can do when he is being thrown to by an undrafted quarterback. That combination has been a hit for a couple of weeks now. Atlanta was supposed to come into Dallas and take care of business. But the only business that was taken care of was the Falldown fell down again. Turn-over Tony had none this week but can he keep up this streak?
Final Score the Falldowns 21 the Cowboys 37. How long can it continue???

Up next we find that no team in the NFL can contain the New Orleans Saints. So if no one can contain them then REG GIE Bush should be having a great season, let’s look in on the stats from this week. Well he had 3 carries for 10 yards with a long of 10 yards. Wow now that is production. He had 3 catches for 16 yards with a long of 11. 6 touches for 26 yards. That is what we call production from the greatest running back in the history of the NFL. Oh yea the Saints won again.
Final Score the Saints 46 the Dolphins 34. Big Tuna Cakes can’t be happy.

Is it just us or is it true? No one wants to play in Ari-Freaking-Zona, not even the Cardinals. They are 1 and 3 at home this year, but this week the rumbled and stumbled their way through New Jersey. Speaking of stumbling what can we call the last couple of weeks for the New York Football Giants? Is Ellie Stumbling, or Bumbling? Ellie was 19 for 37 for 254 yards, but had 3 interceptions. That is not good. Kurt Warner stuck it to his old team by throwing 1 touchdown… 1 touchdown?
Final Score the Cardinals 24 the NYFG 17 I guess one touchdown was all he needed…

And Finally on Monday night we find the Beagles taking on the Washington Deadskins. This game was so bad that the Beagles packed up and left after halftime and the Deadskins could only manage 1 touchdown against an empty field. And that score happen with less than 2 minutes left in the game and it got them to within 10 points.
Final score the Beagles 27 the Deadskins 17. What the Hell?

Well that is it for this week, Sorry about the lateness, we are trying to get back on track.

And remember like we always say….

She keeps Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet'
Let them eat cake' she says
Just likeMarie Antoinette
A built-in remedy
For Kruschev and Kennedy
At anytime an invitation

You can't decline
Caviar and cigarettes
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice
She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime

Recommended at the price
Insatiable an appetite
Wanna try?
To avoid complications
She never kept the same address
In conversation
She spoke just like a baroness
Met a man from China
Went down to Geisha Minah
Then again incidentally
If you're that way inclined
Perfume came naturally from Paris
For cars she couldn't care less
Fastidious and precise

She's a Killer Queen
Gunpowder, gelatine
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind

Anytime