Welcome back to those of you who has been here before and for those that have not been here before, welcome to you as well. Here on the stroll we add what we hope is a satirical look at the NFL Games We hope you enjoy. Since this is Week one we will offer up 16 games for you so with no further ad due let’s get going… Expo Kick It
First up we find ourselves in Pittsburg the Superbowl Champions. Thank God this game was on during the night because it was boring. We fell asleep at halftime, this is the same story as last year Al Michaels is good and Chris Collinsworth just sucks. Why he has a job talking is beyond us. Oh yea Pittsburg wins again they lull you to sleep and kick a field goal to win…
Final score the Titans 10 the Steelers 13. The more things change the more they stay the same...
Up next we travel to a little place on Sunday know for huh??? Well nothing really. The Cincinnati Bengals have been trying to get back on the NFL map since their Quarterback went down with a knee injury several years ago. Carson Palmers had what some would consider a decent game, but 2 interceptions are not good… And so it goes, this weeks Crappy game on CBS turned into something exciting the last 3 minutes. Football is a game of inches; apparently it is a game of hands as well because if Cornerback Leon Hall had hit the ball with his left hand it most likely would have fluttered to the ground out of bounds. But as it was his right hand knocked it back into the field and Brandon Stokley found the ball and no one who could catch him.
Final Score the Bronco’s 12 the Ben-Gals 7… Ben-gals Lose who didn’t know that was going happen?
Okay so next we find things in the great Northwest. How this game could slip past consciousness is unbelievable. Did anyone know this game was even on? Did anyone even care? Up in the Seattle where the men are Men and the Ship a scared it wasn’t really fair the Rams to try and play there. This could be a long year for new Ewes Steve Spagnola but rest assured he has one thing this year, this Weeks Birth Canal Team of the Week.
Final Score the Ewes 0 the Shehawks 28. Hip Hip Hoonot…
As we start at the bottom we find ourselves in Atlanta. The Dolphins are the next team to be taken by the Tuna Cakes to the playoffs his first year then fall completely on their face next year. Whoever has picked the Dolphins to win more that 5 games would be crazy. The Boston Bullet Matt Ryan continues his rise and why not he now has a tight end to throw to with Tony Gonzalez. So the sky is the limit for the Falcons, we will see how far they will fly.
Final score the Dolphins 7 the Falcons 19. Big Tuna Cakes is not going to be happy…
Up next as we continue up the ladder the find New Orleans inviting the winless Lions to town. This was a showcase for Drew Brees, and he showed us all why he was a great addition a couple of years ago. Now New Orleans is also the home of who has been called the greatest running back of all time: One REGGIE BUSH. Let’s take a look at his stats for the day; he had 7 rushes for 14 yards with a long of 10 making his true stats 6 carries for 4 yards. Not too good and he had a fumble. He also caught 5 passes for 55 yards but with a long of 26 yards it makes his true stats 4 catches for 29 yard still 7 yards per catch, except that he had a fumble as well.
Final score the Lions 27 the Saints 45. Thanks God Drew had a career day.
Okay so next we travel to Baltimore home of the Ravens. Kansas City came to town with hopes and dreams of changing their recent behaviors under Herm Edwards. New Coach Todd Haley Fresh off a season where he led the Ari-Freaking-Zona Cardinals to the Super bowl just couldn’t work any magic with this Chiefs team so far. So again the theme for the week new season same results.
Final Score the Chiefs 24 the Ravens 38. The More things change the more they stay the same.
Next we slide down the coast a little and find the Carolina Panthers inviting the Eagles of Philadelphia to town. The Eagles fresh off the signing of Michael Vick came to town intent on proving that it was not a bad decision. So with Michael in the owner’s box, Donavan McNabb went to work, throwing 2 touchdowns and an interception before he left the game with a broken rib. Head coach Andy Reid started looking around for a Quarterback to replace the injured McNabb, but all he found was Kevin Kolb. After the game Reid was asked if Kolb would be the starter next week in McNabb’s absence. “Kolb who? I thought we had Michael Vick as our backup quarterback?” Not yet Coach but he will be in a couple of weeks.
Finals Score Eagles 38 the Panthers 10. Way to prepare for McNabb’s injury.
Now we get to the match up that the entire NFL was looking forward too. The Viqueens vs. the Browns. Brett Favre’s old coach vs. Brett Favre’s new coach. As the pundits have said since the return of Farve this would be the game to see if Brett Farve can still play in the NFL. Thank God the Viqueens didn’t have to rely on the Brett Farve to make any plays. Adrian Peterson ran like the wind through the tree’s (nothing to stop him) and Brett Farve contributed 110 yards on 14 of 21 passes. Well maybe next week someone will tackle Peterson and we will see if Brett Farve is still Green Bay Brett Farve or New York Jet Brett Farve.
Final Score the Viqueens 34 the Browns 20. Brett Farve Brett Farve Brett Farve…
Next we travel south to find Houston in a tussle with the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets. Armed with a new quarterback and a new coach the Jets are looking to be a force in the AFC East this year. If they could only play Houston a few more time they might have a shot. Houston, for some reason, is stuck with Matt Schuab at quarterback he was a stellar 18 for 33 for 166 yards no touchdowns and one interception. Not good numbers, poor Houston everyone was expecting them to compete this year, now not so much...
Final Score the J-E-T-S 24 Houston 7. Houston we have a problem…
Okay let’s go to Indianapolis to find the Jacksonville Jaguars coming to town with hope. Gloom, despair, and agony on them if it weren’t for bad luck they have no luck at all, says Jack Del Rio. Well bad luck is not good if that is all you have, and that’s the way it appears. Indy rolled to another win mainly because of the Quarterback with the laser arm.
Final Score the Jaguars 12 the Colts 14. At least they kept it close.
Next we head to Ari-Freaking-Zona and find that the more things change the more they stay the same. The Cardinals Lose. Well things are the way they should be right? Some things in the world are constant, Death Taxes, and the Cardinals suck right?
Let us just say to watch out for those 49ers, they may have lightning in a bottle with their coach Mike Singletary, but like they have been saying for years he is probably too short to be great right?
Final Score the 49ers 20 the Cardinals 16. It seems like the world is back to right now.
Up next we head to Bay of Tampa for a little game with the Cowboys. Turn over Tony Romo actually held on to the ball this week and found a couple of receivers for some long gains, and Byron Leftwich just sucked. Is anyone else convinced that this is heading down a path? Now the path may or may not be a good one, but you will have to decide because we already have. And what we have decided is that the Buccaneers are down to 3 for a dollar...
Final Score the Cowboys 34 Tampa 21. Oh my goodness.
Last game on the schedule for Sunday day is found as the New York Football Giants had the Washington Deadskins come to town. This was not a good time, this game had all the excitement of a sock washing day. They looked as if they were beating each others on a rock for a while then just wondered around. Honestly we fell asleep during this snooze fest...
Final Score the Deadskins 17 the Giants 23.
Finally the game we have been waiting for Sunday night Football the Green Bay Packers and Da Bears. Isn’t it funny how Yogi Bear always gets over on the park Ranger? Wouldn’t it be funny if the park ranger could catch Yogi with his pants down? Welcome to Sunday night Jay Cutler did his best to pull his own pants down by throwing 4 interceptions and handing the Packers the win. Da Bears had more yards; more first downs more time of possession fewer punts, fewer penalties, and fewer points. Not good.
Final Score Da Bears 15 the Packers 21, Hey Cutler pull your pants up better luck next week.
First on Monday? First on Monday, Oh yea this is the week that ESPN has 2 games. Well in this one the Patriots invited the Buffalo Bills to Boston for some Chowder. This was a great game visually if you like the old uniforms especially the helmets. If you like watching the Buffalo on the plain white background this was your game. If you liked the Patriot snapping the ball then this was your game. If you like watching Tom Brady lead his team to a game wining touchdown in the final minutes of a game and making it look easy then this was your game.
Final Score the Bills 24 the Pats 25. When Ifs and but are candy and nuts we will all have a merry Christmas…
Finally the last game of the week the Raiders and the Chargers squared off in classic AFL West battle. Too bad this game as a lot like the old AFL it was on when hardly anyone could watch it. Why in the world would the NFL schedule a game to start 10:30 PM EST. not that EST is great, but then that makes it 9:30 in CST. Well we liked the uniforms, from what we could tell from the highlights, but far too late for us to watch.
Final Score the Chargers 24 the Raiders 20. Wonder if Al Davis was still awake for this?
Well that is it for this week again Sorry for the delay we will get them out faster…
And remember like we always say…..
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny placeI’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm,
I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
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