Stroll down the NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 16
Well we don’t think there is anything as stupid as the phrase “Get in the Tournament.” When did the Playoffs become the tournament? That sounds like something straight out of some high coach catch phrase book. Tournament? Yea right this is not the Chick-Fil-a holiday Basketball Tournament. This is the Football Playoffs. So let’s kick it.
Well what can we say about this first game, that hasn’t already been said? First, how long is an NFL game? 60 minutes. That is right. Then why did the Jacksonville Jaguars quit after they got up 10 points in the fourth quarter? We aren’t sure why, as this game was not visible on any television in my hotel. Thanks NFL Network. Not only do these games you put on stink, but no one can watch them. This is like running to your stocking on Christmas morning and finding that Santa has forgotten you completely. No Goodies, and no lump of coal. Nothing.
Final Score the Colts 31 the Jags 24. Santa wouldn’t do that would he?
Up next we find the close of Texas Stadium. How many football fans over the last 35 years have cheered the Cowboys and booed the Cowgirls? Too Many to count we are sure. Everyone has recounted their favorite stories about Texas Stadium so let us chime in as well. When we were young, about 8 or 9 years we got tickets to a game at Texas Stadium, we were so excited. This was the House that Roger (Staubach) had built. We got there and found our seats. Wow upper deck but it was so cool to see all the players down on the field. The Game was late in the day so we watch with great anticipation as the color of the sky changed from a bright blue to a beautiful darkness. We watched as halftime came and we could see this cool remote controlled Blimp fly around “Welcome Haggar Employees” on the side. Kyle Rote Junior scored the winning point as the Tornadoes beat somebody; we don’t even remember who it was. But it was the best and only Soccer game we have ever been to.
Final Score the Ravens 33 the Cowgirls 24. Our Uncle helped program the score board back in the day. Thanks Uncle Larry.
Wow did anyone see what happened on Sunday? After the game someone in the Press Conference asked if Romeo Crennel had a word to sum up his team performance this week. “Frustrating and disturbing” were the only ones fit to fit this week. When you get shut out on the last game of the season there isn’t much to smile about so we decided to try and cheer up Romeo with a little a note “Roses are red and Violets are blue, Your Team is the Birth Canal Team of the week and this doesn’t rhyme, Sorry” We have just one question for you? How did you expect to get something from nothing? Because…
Final Score the Bungels 14 the “Charlie” Browns 0. Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.
Okay we know that over this season the Lions have been the joke of all jokes, we have had our eye on them but they have just not won. We know how frustrating it is to have to cover a team like that and find something positive or even find something to write about. When things are this bad it is not hard for folks like us not to belittle the coach, but you know what? If he is reading us then we hope he can get a little chuckle out it. With that said, Reporter Rob Parker should be covering the latest droppings at the Zoo because his continued questions about the defensive coordinator Joe Barry were uncalled for. And the last question should have gotten him a kick in the nuts if nothing else. So to set it up Joe Barry is Rod Marinelli’s Son in Law. The reporters question was “Do you wish your Daughter had married a better defensive coordinator?”
Final Score the S-Aints 42 the Lions 7. This Kind of Attack has no place in society today.
Okay let’s get to a better game. This week the Dolphins took on the Chiefs in what they hoped would be a launching pad to the playoffs, because if anyone could be a Launching pad it would be Kansas City. Was it just us or did anyone else see Herm Edwards on the sidelines, looking like he was trying to figure out a quantum physics problem without an abacus? Well with the spring cleaning about to take place in January maybe the Chiefs can hire Hank Stram to get this team back on the right road. Oh Wait he is dead isn’t he? Well this year Herm Edwards has 2 more wins than the dead Hank Stram. Sad isn’t it.
Final Score the Dolphins 38 the Chiefs 31. Dolphins in the Playoffs??
Well next up we head to the New England Home of the Pats. While we think it is good that Bill Bella-cheat doesn’t make the playoffs it will be sad that an 8 and 8 team get in ahead of an 11 and 5 team. But C’est la vie. That just the way it goes. Back to the game. Could it be that the Cardinals don’t like the snow or could it be that they are gutless, brain dead soulless players who are don’t want to put up a fight? We think they are just the Ari-Freaking-Zona Cardinals that should not be in the playoffs anyway. But hey, someone will look forward to a free trip to warmer weather.
Final Score the Cardinals 7 the Pats 47. It is what it is huh?
Alright, so this year there has been only one team to travel east of the Mississippi River and win an early game. The 49ers came to St Louis and found a way to win again; they are now 6 and 9. We just wonder what would have happened had they would have named Mike Singletary head coach earlier in the season. The 49ers have played 500 since Singletary took over and without the melt down on Monday night a couple of weeks ago this team might be fighting for a playoff spot. The Ewes have all but sewn up the 2nd spot in the draft; we just hope it is more productive than the last time they got the 2nd pick. Chris Long got 1 tackle this week, thanks for showing up.
The Final Score the 49ers 17 the Ewes 16. Oh Wait St Louis is west of the Mississippi isn’t it?
Now we can talk about the Steeler game. Finally Big Stupid Ben couldn’t bring the Steelers back and this week there was nothing that the Referees could do to help. The Steelers faced the Tennessee Titans and the Titans won. After weeks of lulling teams to sleep then steeling a win, the Steelers were unable to put the Titans to sleep.
Final Score the Steelers 14 the Titans 31. Finally the Steelers lose, the Steelers Lose!
Well now let’s talk about the Buccan game. When they Bucs found the Chargers on their schedule this week they thought that all would be well, With a West coast team coming to the East coast and the fact that the Chargers have been so erratic Coach John Gruden felt confident that his team had a chance. But then the game started and all hell broke lose. From the Chargers scoring like did last year, to Jeff Garcia getting knocked out in the game. Did anyone else see that hit he took? It bloodied his face and knocked him unconscious With time running out and a bandage between his eyes, he was heard telling anyone that would listen, “We can win this game, I tell you that is true” “It is just as plain as when I heard the Who’s in Whoville on that dust speck.” Coach Gruden replied. “A person is a person no matter how small, But somebody give him an Ice pack and an aspirin.
Final Score the Chargers 41 the Bucs 24. Where is the Jungle of Nool???
Well Good Lord look what the cat drug in again. How many times do we have to see this same dead mouse to see that it is dead? The Denver Bronco’s are playing like a mouse in the proverbial Cats mouth. How many times can it be spit up? Okay so with Bronco’s needing 1 win to get to the playoffs they have fallen over in their own poop twice now. And in a really odd turn of events the Buffalo Bills turned to the injured Trent Edwards to play this game. So that no matter what happened J P Losman was not going to lose this game. And so for the second time in 8 games or a half of season we can say this…
Final score the Bills 30 the Bronco’s 23. Buffalo Wins. Buffalo wins… Just doesn’t sound right?
Okay next we will stroll over to Oakland and find the Houston Texans visiting. No one ever said this was going to be easy, and it certainly was not easy to watch this game. We understand that you have to play every game on your schedule, but this game was too difficult to watch. So let’s just close our eyes, and imagine a very happy place and we are sure that neither the Texans nor the Raiders will be there.
Final score the Texans 16 the Raiders 27. Rah Rah yuck!!!
Okay so here is your choice you have a chance to cheer for a team that was 4 and 12 last season, and were the laughing stock of the league. Before the season you pick up a veteran quarterback in free agency, who couldn’t decide if he wanted to retire or not. Then after 11 games you are on a 5 game winning streak and your record is 8 and 3 and you are on top of the world. You are going to win your division and get to the playoffs. When you get to Christmas you find that you are now 9 and 6, and you can’t win a game on the West coast. You lost a game to Denver of all teams on the road but now you lose to the Shehawks…
Final Score the JETS 3 the Shehawks 13. Are you really a Jets Fan?
All Minnesota had to do was win a game and they would win the NFC North and be assured a home game in the playoffs. But in true Viqueen fashion they couldn’t accomplish that feat. Let’s take a look at some stats Mr. Adrian Peterson had 22 carries for 76 yards with a long of 17 yards. Making his true stats 21 carries for 59 yards, not exactly history worthy, but he did have a fumble. Oh, that is not good is it? Well let’s look at his catches for the week; he had 2 for 6 yards with a long of 11 yards. But he had a fumble again. Such slippery fingers for a team trying to win its division.
Final Score the Falcons 24 the Viqueens 17. Viqueens Lose Viqueens lose…
Finally on Sunday the last day game of the day is a tough NFC East Battle. The Beagles came to Washington looking for a playoff spot. They could control their own destiny with a win. So let’s see what happened. Well suffice to say that with the game on the line in the fourth quarter the Beagles managed 12 plays and 20 yards, including 4 punts. Very nice. Washington was able to finish the game off with 3 punts and 16 yards. Way to finish strong.
Final Score the Beagles 3 the Deadskins 10. McNabb had a chance on the last play, but the receiver didn’t know where the endzone was.
And then on Sunday the WCNYFG played the Carolina Panthers for Home field advantage through the playoffs. Behind most of the night the WCNYFG relied on their running game so let’s look at those stats. Derrick Ward ran the ball 15 times for 215 yards, with a long of 51 yards. Then Brandon Jacobs ran 24 times for 87 more and lest we forget Madison Hedgecock had one rush for zero yards. It’s like getting that crappy present for Christmas. It is the thought that counts right?
Final Score the Panthers 28 the WCNYFG 34. The Road to the Superbowl goes through New Jersey???
Finally on Monday we find a team that has to win to keep its slim playoff hopes alive. And with nothing to play for, the Packers played like it. With 13 minutes to go the Packers kicked a field goal to go up 7 points. But the Bears came roaring back like they had something to play for. What? They do have something to play for? What do they have to play for? Oh yea, they could win the NFC North if they win out? And get another Viqueens loss.
Final Score in overtime the Packers 17 Da Bears 20. GO Bears Go!!!
Well that is it for this week, sorry for the delay. But we are done now, Enjoy...
And remember like we always say….
Now I'm only five years old
I've got to do just what I'm told
'cause Santa Claus is gonna be dropping in on me
Now is there something I might have missed
I had quite a few things on my list
I hope he can fit it all under
that Christmas tree.
Now I know what he likes for a late night snack
For years now it's been bringing him back
Milk and cookies
He'll come and go without a sound again
But how in the world does he get in
Ain't got a chimney
Close my eyes and concentrate
Try to sleep it's getting late
All night long I lie awakeTil' Santa's Gone I just can't wait
Now is there something I might have missed
I had quite a few things on my listI hope he can get it all under
that Christmas tree.
Sneak a peek down the hall
I've got to check now I don't recall
the milk and cookies
I think I'm sure I got it all
Stockings hung along the wall
Ain't got a chimney
Close my eyes and concentrate
I gotta sleep now it's getting late
All night long I lie awake
Til' Santa's Gone I just can't wait
I just can't wait, I just can't wait
Could there be something I might have missed
I had quite a few things on my list
I hope he can fit it all underthat Christmas tree.
I hope he can fit it allunder my Christmas tree.
Spoken:
Get that harmonica under there
and get that guitar under thereCowboy hat
A bicycle maybe
Don' Know what he's gonna do with that horse
Friday, December 26, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 15
Stroll Down the NFL Boulevard Week 15 2008
Well with week 15 in the books we find ourselves in a quandary. What are we going to do with that “Packers Superbowl 2009” banner that we have for the Party we were scheduling for February? Well that is our problem. What? Okay sure we can put them the ones for we have for the Raiders, the Seahawks, and Bills. Wonder if we can get our money back. And No Expo We didn’t get ones that had the Chiefs, Lions, and Bengals. Nice thought though. Please just stick to the Music… Okay?? Alright then, kick it…
Okay First up on Thursday we find Da Bears and the S-Aints in an epic rematch of the NFC Championship of several years ago. Good God was anyone watching? Because if you were then you would have noticed that the S-Aints had 10 more minutes in time of Possession, over 50 more yards, 6 more first downs and ran 14 more plays. But the S-Aints just couldn’t finish. After the first half Head Coach Sean Peyton decided to leave REG-GIE Bush on the sidelines, saying he was hurt, but in actuality Bush was okay, so he says. Let’s look at his numbers. 6 Carries for 30 yards with a long of 13 and 2 catches for 16 yards. Huh not quite 50 yards, that is not good.
Final Score the S-Aints 24 Da Bears 27. Well the S-Aints aren’t in the playoffs again.
Starting at the bottom this week we will head to Cincinnati and find the Bungels against the Deadskins. What has happened to the greatest football team in the Washington DC area? After starting the season 6 and 3 they have been 1 and 4. Not real good. After their games the Redskins have what they call the “Warpath” a press conference for Head Coach Jim Zorn. When asked about what his comments were on a Clinton Portis statement that his coach was a football Genius. Zorn replied, “Yes Coach Gibbs was a genius and right now I feel like the dumbest man in America.” Really??! Well you aren’t the coach of the Chiefs so you aren’t the dumbest, but you are the coach of this weeks Birth Canal Team of the week.
Final Score the Deadskins 13 the Bungels 20. Hey Cincy, you just lost the 2nd pick in the draft.
Well let’s get to a game of consequence. For that we will head to St Louis… Are you kidding us? A game of consequence? Certainly not. This game had fewer consequences than making snow angels on a cold day in Puerto Rico if that is even possible. We can’t even talk about this game.
Final Score the Shehawks 23 the Ewes 20. How could anyone pay to see this game?
Time to talk about the Buccan game now as Tampa Bay traveled up to Atlanta for an NFC South Battle. With Jeff Garcia out, the Buccaneers had to rely on the trusty arm of Brian Griese. Brian’s arm was strong and accurate about 70% of the time. What he didn’t have was Garcia’s Mexican magic spells to help win the Buccan game. As the game was running down Griese could be heard chanting on the sidelines, “La Cucaracha La Cucaracha”. Head Coach Jon Gruden asked “What the hell is Griese doing” An assistant coach told Gruden that Griese was trying to use a famous Mexican Magic spell to gain an advantage in the game. Gruden just shook his head and mumbled “There is nothing magical about a cockroach”.
Final Score the Bucs 10 the Falcons 13. There are probably more Cockroaches in New Orleans.
In what was an odd repeat of fate the Tennessee Titans traveled to Texas, just like David Crocket did some 150 years ago. Funny how the same thing happened so let’s talk about history Davey Crocket came to Texas and died in the battle of the Alamo. This year the Tennessee Titans came to Texas played and lost. Funny how Matt Schuab played like General Santa Anna, as he stormed the Titans like the Mexican Army did to the Alamo. Well that should confusing history enough for this week.
Final Score Titans 12 the Texans 13. Viva la Matt Schuab???
Up next we head Indianapolis to find the next victim for Detroit. The Lions brought all of the fight of the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz before he got is courage. Lt Dan came back to play for the Lions and not only pushed Daunte Culpepper out of the starting job, but pushed him down in warm ups as well, so we heard. After the game Lt Dan was asked about how working with this team is different than working with Forrest Gump? To which he replied” “No one wants to be part of this. No one wants to have their name involved with this, it’s tough to swallow, and everybody says we stink. We don’t have much debate with that.” all true but Forrest Gump was good right???
Final Score the Lions 21 the Colts 31. Stupid is as stupid does sir.
Next we head down to Jacksonville to find the Packers on a winter retreat. With the recent cold snap in Green Bay the Packers headed south for some fun in the sun, since they will not be in the Superbowl again. They didn’t seem to have much fun as they lost for the ninth time on the season. Huh let’s see… One second… We have the stat right here… Oh yes the Packers of 07 lost only 3 games, and this year they have lost 3 times that amount with 2 games to play. What a wonderful coaching job Mike McCarthy did this season. New Quarterback equals new sucky Packers. Do you think the experts still think that Aaron Rogers is the answer?
Final Score the Packers 16 the Jaguars 20. If he is the answer what the hell is the question?
After weeks of trying to figure out what is wrong with the Kansas City Chiefs they decided to let Carl Peterson, Football General Manager go at the end of the season. Nice call, and thanks for not spoiling his family’s Christmas. Hey yea, you have job till the season is over, hell the season ended 8 weeks ago for the Chiefs, but nobody told them. This week, however, after an inspiring speech from Head Coach Herm Edwards where he placed a huge emphasis on scoring 21 points in the game his team ran out to a 21 to 3 led in the third quarter. Then they ran off the field showered and headed home to get ready for the incoming winter storm. The Chargers finding no one on the field for over a quarter were somehow able to make up the difference and outscored the Chiefs in the last 2 minutes of the game to win.
Final score the Chargers 22 the Chiefs 21. Maybe Herm should mention to hold the other to less than 21 points?
Oh my Lord, has anyone seen the change in Miami? Tuna Cakes has and he says” “Just win out and we will be in the tournament Okay?” San Francisco did everything right to win the game, they had 70 more yards 16 more minutes in time of possession, and more than twice as many first downs. They did everything but win the game. Unfortunate as it is to say…. Miami wins Miami wins…
Final Score the 49ers 9 the Dolphins 14... We hate to say that…
Okay we have to set this up just right, so play close attention please. You are winning by 3 points, playing in New Jersey, a conference rival, you are barely in the playoff picture, (Kind of like that crazy uncle who is on the very end of the wedding picture that gets folded so he can’t be seen while it is being displayed) you have 2 minutes and 6 seconds to go in the game and you are 2nd down and 5 yards to go. Just a little history, your last 6 plays (all rushes) netted you 37 yards including the go ahead touchdown and a first down, hence the 2nd and 5. And your defense has given up 10 total yards in 9 plays to your opponents the entire fourth quarter. Do you A: Hand the ball off to a running back? (You know that the clock will stop at the 2 minute warning with a good chance that you will get the first down) B: Quick kick the ball (because you don’t know what to do with a lead this late in the game) C: Knell down and punt the ball away (Your defense has played so well you think what the heck) D: You put the ball in the hands of J.P. Losman who gets sacked and fumbles the ball, and the Jets pick it up and run it back for a touchdown, and you lose the game?
Final Score Bills 27 the JETS 31. J.P. Losman is Just a Plain Loss Man. We almost cried.
In a game that might just decide the NFC Playoff seeding the Viqueens of Minnesota, came to Arizona to play the Cardinals. Playoff Seeding? Yes Expo the Ari-Freaking –Zona Cardinals made the playoffs this year. We know it is crazy but they did. We mean they didn’t show up against the Viqueens, but they are in the playoffs and not just a wildcard team either won the freaking Division. We know, but hell, the other 3 teams have 10 wins total. They should call it the NFC Worst not the West. But on the Bright side the Cardinals are getting ready for next year as Superstar Quarterback Matt Leinart got some action, and we don’t mean holding a clip board on the sideline, he got in the game. His line you ask? 3 of 5 for 28 yards. Not bad. He will make some team a very capable backup some day.
Final score the Viqueens 35 the Cardinals 14. Viqueens win, Viqueens Win. Yuck…
Not sure how this game escaped us but let’s look at the Denver game in Carolina. The Panther needed a win get to 11 wins on the season and Denver was trying to clinch the AFC West division. They would have sewn up the division and a home playoff game with a win. Denver showed us what they were made of and we can’t say what it was for fear of being banned by the FCC. Suffice to say the Carolina gets the win, making next weeks game for home field advantage through out the playoffs very important, and Denver well you guys looked like something that the cat puked up, ate, then puked up again.
Final Score the Bronco’s 10 the Panthers 30. Sorry for the visual but this was terrible.
Up next we get to Baltimore and this weeks travesty in officiating. What the hell? How many times do the Football Gods have to smile down on the Steelers? This is just ridiculous we can think of 5 times that they have been handed the game with less than 4 minutes to go. But this one takes the cake. Big Stupid Ben throws the ball and it is caught, the ball is spotted on the 6 inch line. But wait we have to review it because we are under 2 minutes. And just so you know, this is football not horseshoes, and the ball has to travel into the end zone for a score to occur not just get close. Let’s look at the facts, to get a field goal the ball crosses into the end zone and thru the uprights, to get a touchdown the ball has to touch the goal line, not cross it completely but touch the line while being possessed. We would have been fine if the call on the field had been touchdown and there wasn’t enough evidence to over turn the play. But to over turn the call when it wasn’t a touchdown is just plain ludicrous, (And we don’t mean the Rapper).
Final Score the Steelers 13 the Ravens 9. Pittsburg steals another one. What a shame…
Okay so the final day game of the week had the New England Patriots in a fierce battle with cross country rival Oakland Raiders Bill Bela-cheat thought it would be a good idea to stay on the West coast this week and not fly cross country 4 times in two weeks. We can only guess that is worked out for him, we were so disgusted by the previous game that we can’t really comment on this game, so let’s just say that the Patriots scored almost as much a as a squirrel in the winter collecting nuts, and certainly more than a blind squirrel does anytime.
Final Score the Pats 49 the Raiders 26. Whop-dy do Matt Cassel wins again.
And now we will get to the game that the whole nation has waited for us to comment on. The WCNYFG came to Big D looking to keep their streak of road wins intact. But other than Cleveland, Dallas is the only road venue the WCNYFG’s have not won in since last season. With Running back Brandon Jacobs out this week the Giants were going to have to rely on Ellie Manning to lead his team VICTORY. So let’s look at his stats for the night. Ellie was 18 of 35 for 191 yards, not great but about what he normally does, He had no touchdowns and 8 sacks and threw 2 interceptions on the night. He looked confused and out of sync the whole game, and for the most part unprepared. So with nothing to really play for the WCNYFG played like they had nothing to play for. It makes us wonder? Was this a big game for the G-Aints?
Final Score the WCNYFG 8 the Cowboys 20. This was a big game right???.
And Finally the Monday night extravaganza. Does anyone else hate to listen to those knuckle heads in the booth? Mike Tirico is a below average play by play guy at best and could be better if he had a couple of years of broadcasting some Mid-American Conference football games where nobody is watching or listening to. Listening to Ron Jarworski is like trying to listen to a high school coach break down game film to a bunch football Moms. And Good God is Tony Kornheiser able to speak without repeating either the last thing Tirico said or something from 20 minutes ago. We wish YOU would go back to that PTI crap so it could be cancelled. Listening to silence is better than having to listen to you three knuckle heads talk about wheather Andy Reid was going to release Donovan McNabb or make out with him in the locker room after the game.
Final Score The Browns 10 the Eagles 30. Will this game ever get listenable again?
Well that will wrap it up for this week. We apologize for the delay this week. We really have no excuse. Next time maybe the Playoffs will be more in Focus for us…
And remember like we always say…
Hello everybody, this is your action news reporter
With all the news that is news across the nation
On the scene at the super market
There seems to have been some disturbance here
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was standing over there by the tomatoes
And here he comeRunning thru the pole beans, thru the fruits and vegetables
Naked as a jay-bird
And I hollered over at Ethel...Isaid don't look Ethel
It was too late, she'd already been incensed...
Here he comes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
There he goes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
And he ain't wearin' no clothes
Oh yes, they call him the streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He's gonna give us a peek
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to show off his physique
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique...
This is your action news reporter once again
And we're here at the gas station
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was just in here gettin' my tires checked
And he just appeared out of the traffic
Come streakin' around the grease rack there
Didn't have nothing on but a smile
I looked in there and Ethel was gettin' her a cold drink
I hollered...Don't look Ethel
It was too late...
She'd already been mooned
Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers
He ain't rude, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He ain't lewd, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He's just in the mood to run in the nude
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to turn the other cheek
He's always making the news
Wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique...
Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym
Covering the disturbance at the basketball playoffs
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...half-time, I was just going down there
To get Ethel a snow cone
Here he come right our of the cheap seats
Dribblin'...right down the middle of the court
Didn't have on nothin' but his PF's
Made a hook shot and got out thru the concession stand
I hollered up at Ethel, I said don't look Ethel
It was too late...She'd already got a free shot
Grandstanded...Right there in front of the home team
Oh yes, they call him the streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He's gonna give us a peek
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to show off his physique
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique...
Here he comes...look...who's that with him?
Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
What do you think you're doing?
You get your clothes on!
Ethel, where you going?
Ethel, you shameless hussy
Say it isn't so Ethel
Ethel..................
Well with week 15 in the books we find ourselves in a quandary. What are we going to do with that “Packers Superbowl 2009” banner that we have for the Party we were scheduling for February? Well that is our problem. What? Okay sure we can put them the ones for we have for the Raiders, the Seahawks, and Bills. Wonder if we can get our money back. And No Expo We didn’t get ones that had the Chiefs, Lions, and Bengals. Nice thought though. Please just stick to the Music… Okay?? Alright then, kick it…
Okay First up on Thursday we find Da Bears and the S-Aints in an epic rematch of the NFC Championship of several years ago. Good God was anyone watching? Because if you were then you would have noticed that the S-Aints had 10 more minutes in time of Possession, over 50 more yards, 6 more first downs and ran 14 more plays. But the S-Aints just couldn’t finish. After the first half Head Coach Sean Peyton decided to leave REG-GIE Bush on the sidelines, saying he was hurt, but in actuality Bush was okay, so he says. Let’s look at his numbers. 6 Carries for 30 yards with a long of 13 and 2 catches for 16 yards. Huh not quite 50 yards, that is not good.
Final Score the S-Aints 24 Da Bears 27. Well the S-Aints aren’t in the playoffs again.
Starting at the bottom this week we will head to Cincinnati and find the Bungels against the Deadskins. What has happened to the greatest football team in the Washington DC area? After starting the season 6 and 3 they have been 1 and 4. Not real good. After their games the Redskins have what they call the “Warpath” a press conference for Head Coach Jim Zorn. When asked about what his comments were on a Clinton Portis statement that his coach was a football Genius. Zorn replied, “Yes Coach Gibbs was a genius and right now I feel like the dumbest man in America.” Really??! Well you aren’t the coach of the Chiefs so you aren’t the dumbest, but you are the coach of this weeks Birth Canal Team of the week.
Final Score the Deadskins 13 the Bungels 20. Hey Cincy, you just lost the 2nd pick in the draft.
Well let’s get to a game of consequence. For that we will head to St Louis… Are you kidding us? A game of consequence? Certainly not. This game had fewer consequences than making snow angels on a cold day in Puerto Rico if that is even possible. We can’t even talk about this game.
Final Score the Shehawks 23 the Ewes 20. How could anyone pay to see this game?
Time to talk about the Buccan game now as Tampa Bay traveled up to Atlanta for an NFC South Battle. With Jeff Garcia out, the Buccaneers had to rely on the trusty arm of Brian Griese. Brian’s arm was strong and accurate about 70% of the time. What he didn’t have was Garcia’s Mexican magic spells to help win the Buccan game. As the game was running down Griese could be heard chanting on the sidelines, “La Cucaracha La Cucaracha”. Head Coach Jon Gruden asked “What the hell is Griese doing” An assistant coach told Gruden that Griese was trying to use a famous Mexican Magic spell to gain an advantage in the game. Gruden just shook his head and mumbled “There is nothing magical about a cockroach”.
Final Score the Bucs 10 the Falcons 13. There are probably more Cockroaches in New Orleans.
In what was an odd repeat of fate the Tennessee Titans traveled to Texas, just like David Crocket did some 150 years ago. Funny how the same thing happened so let’s talk about history Davey Crocket came to Texas and died in the battle of the Alamo. This year the Tennessee Titans came to Texas played and lost. Funny how Matt Schuab played like General Santa Anna, as he stormed the Titans like the Mexican Army did to the Alamo. Well that should confusing history enough for this week.
Final Score Titans 12 the Texans 13. Viva la Matt Schuab???
Up next we head Indianapolis to find the next victim for Detroit. The Lions brought all of the fight of the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz before he got is courage. Lt Dan came back to play for the Lions and not only pushed Daunte Culpepper out of the starting job, but pushed him down in warm ups as well, so we heard. After the game Lt Dan was asked about how working with this team is different than working with Forrest Gump? To which he replied” “No one wants to be part of this. No one wants to have their name involved with this, it’s tough to swallow, and everybody says we stink. We don’t have much debate with that.” all true but Forrest Gump was good right???
Final Score the Lions 21 the Colts 31. Stupid is as stupid does sir.
Next we head down to Jacksonville to find the Packers on a winter retreat. With the recent cold snap in Green Bay the Packers headed south for some fun in the sun, since they will not be in the Superbowl again. They didn’t seem to have much fun as they lost for the ninth time on the season. Huh let’s see… One second… We have the stat right here… Oh yes the Packers of 07 lost only 3 games, and this year they have lost 3 times that amount with 2 games to play. What a wonderful coaching job Mike McCarthy did this season. New Quarterback equals new sucky Packers. Do you think the experts still think that Aaron Rogers is the answer?
Final Score the Packers 16 the Jaguars 20. If he is the answer what the hell is the question?
After weeks of trying to figure out what is wrong with the Kansas City Chiefs they decided to let Carl Peterson, Football General Manager go at the end of the season. Nice call, and thanks for not spoiling his family’s Christmas. Hey yea, you have job till the season is over, hell the season ended 8 weeks ago for the Chiefs, but nobody told them. This week, however, after an inspiring speech from Head Coach Herm Edwards where he placed a huge emphasis on scoring 21 points in the game his team ran out to a 21 to 3 led in the third quarter. Then they ran off the field showered and headed home to get ready for the incoming winter storm. The Chargers finding no one on the field for over a quarter were somehow able to make up the difference and outscored the Chiefs in the last 2 minutes of the game to win.
Final score the Chargers 22 the Chiefs 21. Maybe Herm should mention to hold the other to less than 21 points?
Oh my Lord, has anyone seen the change in Miami? Tuna Cakes has and he says” “Just win out and we will be in the tournament Okay?” San Francisco did everything right to win the game, they had 70 more yards 16 more minutes in time of possession, and more than twice as many first downs. They did everything but win the game. Unfortunate as it is to say…. Miami wins Miami wins…
Final Score the 49ers 9 the Dolphins 14... We hate to say that…
Okay we have to set this up just right, so play close attention please. You are winning by 3 points, playing in New Jersey, a conference rival, you are barely in the playoff picture, (Kind of like that crazy uncle who is on the very end of the wedding picture that gets folded so he can’t be seen while it is being displayed) you have 2 minutes and 6 seconds to go in the game and you are 2nd down and 5 yards to go. Just a little history, your last 6 plays (all rushes) netted you 37 yards including the go ahead touchdown and a first down, hence the 2nd and 5. And your defense has given up 10 total yards in 9 plays to your opponents the entire fourth quarter. Do you A: Hand the ball off to a running back? (You know that the clock will stop at the 2 minute warning with a good chance that you will get the first down) B: Quick kick the ball (because you don’t know what to do with a lead this late in the game) C: Knell down and punt the ball away (Your defense has played so well you think what the heck) D: You put the ball in the hands of J.P. Losman who gets sacked and fumbles the ball, and the Jets pick it up and run it back for a touchdown, and you lose the game?
Final Score Bills 27 the JETS 31. J.P. Losman is Just a Plain Loss Man. We almost cried.
In a game that might just decide the NFC Playoff seeding the Viqueens of Minnesota, came to Arizona to play the Cardinals. Playoff Seeding? Yes Expo the Ari-Freaking –Zona Cardinals made the playoffs this year. We know it is crazy but they did. We mean they didn’t show up against the Viqueens, but they are in the playoffs and not just a wildcard team either won the freaking Division. We know, but hell, the other 3 teams have 10 wins total. They should call it the NFC Worst not the West. But on the Bright side the Cardinals are getting ready for next year as Superstar Quarterback Matt Leinart got some action, and we don’t mean holding a clip board on the sideline, he got in the game. His line you ask? 3 of 5 for 28 yards. Not bad. He will make some team a very capable backup some day.
Final score the Viqueens 35 the Cardinals 14. Viqueens win, Viqueens Win. Yuck…
Not sure how this game escaped us but let’s look at the Denver game in Carolina. The Panther needed a win get to 11 wins on the season and Denver was trying to clinch the AFC West division. They would have sewn up the division and a home playoff game with a win. Denver showed us what they were made of and we can’t say what it was for fear of being banned by the FCC. Suffice to say the Carolina gets the win, making next weeks game for home field advantage through out the playoffs very important, and Denver well you guys looked like something that the cat puked up, ate, then puked up again.
Final Score the Bronco’s 10 the Panthers 30. Sorry for the visual but this was terrible.
Up next we get to Baltimore and this weeks travesty in officiating. What the hell? How many times do the Football Gods have to smile down on the Steelers? This is just ridiculous we can think of 5 times that they have been handed the game with less than 4 minutes to go. But this one takes the cake. Big Stupid Ben throws the ball and it is caught, the ball is spotted on the 6 inch line. But wait we have to review it because we are under 2 minutes. And just so you know, this is football not horseshoes, and the ball has to travel into the end zone for a score to occur not just get close. Let’s look at the facts, to get a field goal the ball crosses into the end zone and thru the uprights, to get a touchdown the ball has to touch the goal line, not cross it completely but touch the line while being possessed. We would have been fine if the call on the field had been touchdown and there wasn’t enough evidence to over turn the play. But to over turn the call when it wasn’t a touchdown is just plain ludicrous, (And we don’t mean the Rapper).
Final Score the Steelers 13 the Ravens 9. Pittsburg steals another one. What a shame…
Okay so the final day game of the week had the New England Patriots in a fierce battle with cross country rival Oakland Raiders Bill Bela-cheat thought it would be a good idea to stay on the West coast this week and not fly cross country 4 times in two weeks. We can only guess that is worked out for him, we were so disgusted by the previous game that we can’t really comment on this game, so let’s just say that the Patriots scored almost as much a as a squirrel in the winter collecting nuts, and certainly more than a blind squirrel does anytime.
Final Score the Pats 49 the Raiders 26. Whop-dy do Matt Cassel wins again.
And now we will get to the game that the whole nation has waited for us to comment on. The WCNYFG came to Big D looking to keep their streak of road wins intact. But other than Cleveland, Dallas is the only road venue the WCNYFG’s have not won in since last season. With Running back Brandon Jacobs out this week the Giants were going to have to rely on Ellie Manning to lead his team VICTORY. So let’s look at his stats for the night. Ellie was 18 of 35 for 191 yards, not great but about what he normally does, He had no touchdowns and 8 sacks and threw 2 interceptions on the night. He looked confused and out of sync the whole game, and for the most part unprepared. So with nothing to really play for the WCNYFG played like they had nothing to play for. It makes us wonder? Was this a big game for the G-Aints?
Final Score the WCNYFG 8 the Cowboys 20. This was a big game right???.
And Finally the Monday night extravaganza. Does anyone else hate to listen to those knuckle heads in the booth? Mike Tirico is a below average play by play guy at best and could be better if he had a couple of years of broadcasting some Mid-American Conference football games where nobody is watching or listening to. Listening to Ron Jarworski is like trying to listen to a high school coach break down game film to a bunch football Moms. And Good God is Tony Kornheiser able to speak without repeating either the last thing Tirico said or something from 20 minutes ago. We wish YOU would go back to that PTI crap so it could be cancelled. Listening to silence is better than having to listen to you three knuckle heads talk about wheather Andy Reid was going to release Donovan McNabb or make out with him in the locker room after the game.
Final Score The Browns 10 the Eagles 30. Will this game ever get listenable again?
Well that will wrap it up for this week. We apologize for the delay this week. We really have no excuse. Next time maybe the Playoffs will be more in Focus for us…
And remember like we always say…
Hello everybody, this is your action news reporter
With all the news that is news across the nation
On the scene at the super market
There seems to have been some disturbance here
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was standing over there by the tomatoes
And here he comeRunning thru the pole beans, thru the fruits and vegetables
Naked as a jay-bird
And I hollered over at Ethel...Isaid don't look Ethel
It was too late, she'd already been incensed...
Here he comes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
There he goes, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
And he ain't wearin' no clothes
Oh yes, they call him the streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He's gonna give us a peek
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to show off his physique
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique...
This is your action news reporter once again
And we're here at the gas station
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...I was just in here gettin' my tires checked
And he just appeared out of the traffic
Come streakin' around the grease rack there
Didn't have nothing on but a smile
I looked in there and Ethel was gettin' her a cold drink
I hollered...Don't look Ethel
It was too late...
She'd already been mooned
Flashed her right there in front of the shock absorbers
He ain't rude, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He ain't lewd, boogie-dy, boogie-dy
He's just in the mood to run in the nude
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to turn the other cheek
He's always making the news
Wearin' just his tennis shoes
Guess you could call him unique...
Once again, your action news reporter in the booth at the gym
Covering the disturbance at the basketball playoffs
Pardon me sir, did you see what happened?
Yeh, I did...half-time, I was just going down there
To get Ethel a snow cone
Here he come right our of the cheap seats
Dribblin'...right down the middle of the court
Didn't have on nothin' but his PF's
Made a hook shot and got out thru the concession stand
I hollered up at Ethel, I said don't look Ethel
It was too late...She'd already got a free shot
Grandstanded...Right there in front of the home team
Oh yes, they call him the streak
Fastest thing on two feet
He's just as proud as he can be
Of his anatomy
He's gonna give us a peek
Oh yes, they call him the streak
He likes to show off his physique
If there's an audience to be found
He'll be streakin' around
Invitin' public critique...
Here he comes...look...who's that with him?
Ethel, is that you, Ethel?
What do you think you're doing?
You get your clothes on!
Ethel, where you going?
Ethel, you shameless hussy
Say it isn't so Ethel
Ethel..................
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 14
Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 14 2008
Well here we are in Week 14 and we are starting to see the playoff picture much better. It is still a muddy river flowing down stream, but at least we can see some of the teams floating on the top like the dead fish that they are. Let’s get started this week and see what happened. Hey Expo, let’s roll the funky music.
First up on Thursday we find ourselves in San Diego. Oakland really didn’t come prepared to play, scoring only on a kickoff return. They got plenty of practice as the Chargers came out of their scoring slump like the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. They run to the left and ran to the right then ran up the middle and scored touchdown after touchdown after field goal. Norv had to think that it was pretty sweet. Well the point total wasn’t huge, but it got the job done against the lowly Raiders. We Asked Huggy Bear Jr about the Cable guy. He said “Word on the street is Al Davis might be going to Satellite next year.” That is not good for the cable guy.
Final Score the Raiders 7 the Chargers 34. Indiana Jones couldn’t find the Raider of this lost Ark.
Up next we head to the windy city of Chicago and find that the Jaguars of Jacksonville had come to town. This season has been something that the Jaguars might have well just coughed up it. This is a huge hairball of a season for the Jaguars that they just can’t seem to get away from. We just hope that Coach Jack Del Rio doesn’t lose his head over this; he is a good guy having a bad year.
Final Score Jags 10 Da Bears 23. Good luck in the draft, Jags, it looks like you will be getting the 6th pick.
Up next we head to a game that just doesn’t seem real. The Viqueens headed into Detroit for a pivotal game with the Lions… a Pivotal game with the Lions? The Lions have not played a pivotal game since 1960 something. And if there was a pivotal game played this weekend it was not played in Detroit for sure. We only hope that the future in Detroit doesn’t hold a first round draft pick of a wide receiver again. Huh the Viqueens win again.
Final Score the Viqueens 16 the Lions 14. The Viqueens are going to win the NFC North?
Up Next we head to the Frozen Tundra of Green Bay Wisconsin. This week the Texans came calling to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. This was a shining example of Matt Schaub’s ability to play in a hostile environment. Well with just under 6 minutes to go the Packers scored to tie the game. Then with all the effort of a caveman buying insurance they could not even get a couple of first downs. Then the great Matt Schuab? The Great Matt Schuab, four words that should never be in a sentence together, drove his team for the game winning field goal.
Final Score the Texans 24 the Packers 21. Good luck Green Bay with that top 12 pick.
Well let’s get down to a game that meant absolutely nothing. The Bungels came to Indianapolis and lost, not much else to say. The Team was uninspired and had no effort what so ever. Even the Cheerleaders on sideline had a new cheer. “We’re not Detroit. We’re not Detroit” well you might not be Detroit but you are the Bungels and this weeks Birth Canal Team of the week.
Final Score the Bungels 3 the Colts 35. Wow Peyton is on fire.
Next we head down to the bottom or the world which just happens to be in New Orleans. The home team did their best to stay in the wild card hunt and decided to use REG-GIE Bush as a decoy. All the fans were confused when REG-GIE came out for the first half dressed like a duck. He was so inconspicuous that the Falldowns didn’t even see him when he caught a touchdown pass, or snuck around the end till he ran out of bounds some 43 yards down field. Nice play. His Production is up which can’t bode well for the Saints. 16 touches for 106 yards, at least you are over that golden mark of 100.
Final Score the Falldowns 25 the Saints 29. Dressed like duck where no one could see him?
Well let us get some introductions out of the way now. Earth these are the World Champion New York Football Giants, WCNYFG this is earth. With that out of the way let’s get to the game. Ellie had a wonderful game going 13 of 27 for 123 yards. Wow with production like that how can you do anything but lose. Well maybe they did better running the ball but 14 rushes for 88 yards doesn’t look good either. We guess the only thing we can say is “The Giants lose. The Giants lose.” Just give us our fun; we have only gotten to say that twice this year.
The Final Score was the Giants 14 the Beagles 20. Crap this means that the Beagles are still in the playoff hunt.
Up next we head to Tennessee to Remember the Titans. The Browns came to town looking to get out of the cold for a day, but found the fire instead. Ken Dorsey did everything he could to help Cleveland win, but he needed to suck way less than he did. And he sucked pretty badly. We wonder aloud to ourselves what coach Cower would look like on the sidelines in a Browns jacket? Final Score the Browns 9 the Titans 28. Christmas time is for wishes right?
With Buffalo losing 6 of their last 8 games they chose not to embarrass themselves in Buffalo this week, so they went on the road. Only they had already played the Dolphins in Miami. Buffalo thought that they might be able to hide from the Dolphins in Canada, but as Tony Sparano ran on to the field he was screaming “Not this week baby!” We thought hiding in Canada was a good idea we mean nobody would look in Canada for a football team. Then after kicking a field the Bills left looking for someplace else to hide.
Final Score the Dolphins 16 the Bills 3. Maybe the Bills could play in Japan?
Next we head to the great Northwest but there is not that much great about the Northwest this year. The Shehawks have been far less than stellar this season we can only guess that they must have dedicated this season to someone, huh maybe Coach Mike Holmgren? Well it looks like football is dead in Washington as a whole this year as the college teams won a total of 1 game and the pros have won only 2.
Final Score the Patriots 24 the Shehawks 21. Maybe they should all move to Oregon?
Next we head to Colorado to find the tough AFC West battle between the Chiefs and the Bronco’s. How long has it been since we had a tough AFC West Battle? Well keep counting because this was not it. Leading 17 to 7 in the Second Quarter the Chiefs head Coach Herm Edwards probably didn’t know that he was not going get the ball more than 4 more times. In those drives they ran 26 plays for 125 yards, nice don’t you think? And people wonder why the Chiefs can’t win? We don’t.
Final score the Chiefs 17 the Broncos 24. They can’t win because they suck.
Next we will talk about how the great New York Bretts traveled across the country and play a game against the 49ers. Everyone knows that you can’t travel across the country and win, unless you are playing in Seattle. But this is the great Brett Favre so let’s see how he did? 20 of 31 not bad, 3 sacks and an interception is not good. Well the Bretts have traveled to the West Coast 3 times this year and have not won yet. Amazing, they lost to the Chargers, the Raiders, and now the 49ers.
Final Score the Bretts 14 the 49ers 24. With just one of those a win they would be in first place by themselves.
In the same vain of a team that can’t travel across the country and win, we find the Ewes. And the Ewes can’t play a game and win. They traveled to Arizona and that should be enough for you to understand that they lost. Sometimes these games are closer than the score might indicate, this one was not. Cardinals Win Cardinals win. Our worst fears have come true.
Final Score the Ewes 10 the Cardinals 34. Rah Rah Yuck.
Finally on Sunday the day games came to close with this one. The Cowgirls visiting the Pittsburg Steelers. In typical Steelers fashion they lulled the Cowgirls to sleep then won the game in the final few seconds. Big Ben had his normal day 17 for 33 for 204 yards and 5 sacks. But Tony Romo showed us all why he was an undrafted free agent quarterback, by throwing 3 interceptions and fumbling once. Nice game, but take a little advise, when the temp is below 40 degrees, wear some sleeves, good god man that was just stupid.
Final score the Cowgirls 13 the Steelers 20. You know if things had worked out differently, the outcome might have changed.
On Sunday night there was a game that was played. But it was so poorly played that we don’t think it was even on TV. This is what we think happened. The Ravens got 2 quick scores in the first quarter and held a gun, to the Deadskins and forced them to punt for the rest of the game. Well maybe not the rest of the game but certainly 6 out of their last 9 possessions. Throw in a missed field goal, and that will just about do it.
Final Score the Deadskins 10 the Ravens 24. Wonder if that gun came from a former Giant?
On Monday we found the Buccan game as Tampa Bay went to visit their old nemesis the Carolina Panthers. Buccaneer Quarterback Jeff Garcia was heard singing before the game “Nothing would be finer than to be in Carolina in the Morning”. Head coach Jon Gruden told Garcia that he could stay if he liked but that the rest of the team was leaving after the game. Garcia thought for a moment then told his coach he would stay if the Buccaneers won. Gruden relied sure, get on the damn bus, you got sacked 5 times and we lost the game. Garcia Exclaimed “But coach But Coach look”. Head Coach Gruden slowly turned and in a soft, quiet voice with his teeth clenched said “The only Butt I want to see is yours on the Bus”.
Final Score the Bucs 23 the Panthers 34. And we don’t think Gruden was happy.
Well that is it for this week and we have just one more thing to say. It is with a heavy heart that we bid a heartfelt goodbye to a dear friend. It is not everyday that we can become friends with someone as special as Maisy. She will be missed and our hearts go out to your family who miss her so much.
And remember like we always say….
I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
When children have to play inside so they don't disappear
And private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing Queens
and losing sight of having dreams
In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Well here we are in Week 14 and we are starting to see the playoff picture much better. It is still a muddy river flowing down stream, but at least we can see some of the teams floating on the top like the dead fish that they are. Let’s get started this week and see what happened. Hey Expo, let’s roll the funky music.
First up on Thursday we find ourselves in San Diego. Oakland really didn’t come prepared to play, scoring only on a kickoff return. They got plenty of practice as the Chargers came out of their scoring slump like the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. They run to the left and ran to the right then ran up the middle and scored touchdown after touchdown after field goal. Norv had to think that it was pretty sweet. Well the point total wasn’t huge, but it got the job done against the lowly Raiders. We Asked Huggy Bear Jr about the Cable guy. He said “Word on the street is Al Davis might be going to Satellite next year.” That is not good for the cable guy.
Final Score the Raiders 7 the Chargers 34. Indiana Jones couldn’t find the Raider of this lost Ark.
Up next we head to the windy city of Chicago and find that the Jaguars of Jacksonville had come to town. This season has been something that the Jaguars might have well just coughed up it. This is a huge hairball of a season for the Jaguars that they just can’t seem to get away from. We just hope that Coach Jack Del Rio doesn’t lose his head over this; he is a good guy having a bad year.
Final Score Jags 10 Da Bears 23. Good luck in the draft, Jags, it looks like you will be getting the 6th pick.
Up next we head to a game that just doesn’t seem real. The Viqueens headed into Detroit for a pivotal game with the Lions… a Pivotal game with the Lions? The Lions have not played a pivotal game since 1960 something. And if there was a pivotal game played this weekend it was not played in Detroit for sure. We only hope that the future in Detroit doesn’t hold a first round draft pick of a wide receiver again. Huh the Viqueens win again.
Final Score the Viqueens 16 the Lions 14. The Viqueens are going to win the NFC North?
Up Next we head to the Frozen Tundra of Green Bay Wisconsin. This week the Texans came calling to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. This was a shining example of Matt Schaub’s ability to play in a hostile environment. Well with just under 6 minutes to go the Packers scored to tie the game. Then with all the effort of a caveman buying insurance they could not even get a couple of first downs. Then the great Matt Schuab? The Great Matt Schuab, four words that should never be in a sentence together, drove his team for the game winning field goal.
Final Score the Texans 24 the Packers 21. Good luck Green Bay with that top 12 pick.
Well let’s get down to a game that meant absolutely nothing. The Bungels came to Indianapolis and lost, not much else to say. The Team was uninspired and had no effort what so ever. Even the Cheerleaders on sideline had a new cheer. “We’re not Detroit. We’re not Detroit” well you might not be Detroit but you are the Bungels and this weeks Birth Canal Team of the week.
Final Score the Bungels 3 the Colts 35. Wow Peyton is on fire.
Next we head down to the bottom or the world which just happens to be in New Orleans. The home team did their best to stay in the wild card hunt and decided to use REG-GIE Bush as a decoy. All the fans were confused when REG-GIE came out for the first half dressed like a duck. He was so inconspicuous that the Falldowns didn’t even see him when he caught a touchdown pass, or snuck around the end till he ran out of bounds some 43 yards down field. Nice play. His Production is up which can’t bode well for the Saints. 16 touches for 106 yards, at least you are over that golden mark of 100.
Final Score the Falldowns 25 the Saints 29. Dressed like duck where no one could see him?
Well let us get some introductions out of the way now. Earth these are the World Champion New York Football Giants, WCNYFG this is earth. With that out of the way let’s get to the game. Ellie had a wonderful game going 13 of 27 for 123 yards. Wow with production like that how can you do anything but lose. Well maybe they did better running the ball but 14 rushes for 88 yards doesn’t look good either. We guess the only thing we can say is “The Giants lose. The Giants lose.” Just give us our fun; we have only gotten to say that twice this year.
The Final Score was the Giants 14 the Beagles 20. Crap this means that the Beagles are still in the playoff hunt.
Up next we head to Tennessee to Remember the Titans. The Browns came to town looking to get out of the cold for a day, but found the fire instead. Ken Dorsey did everything he could to help Cleveland win, but he needed to suck way less than he did. And he sucked pretty badly. We wonder aloud to ourselves what coach Cower would look like on the sidelines in a Browns jacket? Final Score the Browns 9 the Titans 28. Christmas time is for wishes right?
With Buffalo losing 6 of their last 8 games they chose not to embarrass themselves in Buffalo this week, so they went on the road. Only they had already played the Dolphins in Miami. Buffalo thought that they might be able to hide from the Dolphins in Canada, but as Tony Sparano ran on to the field he was screaming “Not this week baby!” We thought hiding in Canada was a good idea we mean nobody would look in Canada for a football team. Then after kicking a field the Bills left looking for someplace else to hide.
Final Score the Dolphins 16 the Bills 3. Maybe the Bills could play in Japan?
Next we head to the great Northwest but there is not that much great about the Northwest this year. The Shehawks have been far less than stellar this season we can only guess that they must have dedicated this season to someone, huh maybe Coach Mike Holmgren? Well it looks like football is dead in Washington as a whole this year as the college teams won a total of 1 game and the pros have won only 2.
Final Score the Patriots 24 the Shehawks 21. Maybe they should all move to Oregon?
Next we head to Colorado to find the tough AFC West battle between the Chiefs and the Bronco’s. How long has it been since we had a tough AFC West Battle? Well keep counting because this was not it. Leading 17 to 7 in the Second Quarter the Chiefs head Coach Herm Edwards probably didn’t know that he was not going get the ball more than 4 more times. In those drives they ran 26 plays for 125 yards, nice don’t you think? And people wonder why the Chiefs can’t win? We don’t.
Final score the Chiefs 17 the Broncos 24. They can’t win because they suck.
Next we will talk about how the great New York Bretts traveled across the country and play a game against the 49ers. Everyone knows that you can’t travel across the country and win, unless you are playing in Seattle. But this is the great Brett Favre so let’s see how he did? 20 of 31 not bad, 3 sacks and an interception is not good. Well the Bretts have traveled to the West Coast 3 times this year and have not won yet. Amazing, they lost to the Chargers, the Raiders, and now the 49ers.
Final Score the Bretts 14 the 49ers 24. With just one of those a win they would be in first place by themselves.
In the same vain of a team that can’t travel across the country and win, we find the Ewes. And the Ewes can’t play a game and win. They traveled to Arizona and that should be enough for you to understand that they lost. Sometimes these games are closer than the score might indicate, this one was not. Cardinals Win Cardinals win. Our worst fears have come true.
Final Score the Ewes 10 the Cardinals 34. Rah Rah Yuck.
Finally on Sunday the day games came to close with this one. The Cowgirls visiting the Pittsburg Steelers. In typical Steelers fashion they lulled the Cowgirls to sleep then won the game in the final few seconds. Big Ben had his normal day 17 for 33 for 204 yards and 5 sacks. But Tony Romo showed us all why he was an undrafted free agent quarterback, by throwing 3 interceptions and fumbling once. Nice game, but take a little advise, when the temp is below 40 degrees, wear some sleeves, good god man that was just stupid.
Final score the Cowgirls 13 the Steelers 20. You know if things had worked out differently, the outcome might have changed.
On Sunday night there was a game that was played. But it was so poorly played that we don’t think it was even on TV. This is what we think happened. The Ravens got 2 quick scores in the first quarter and held a gun, to the Deadskins and forced them to punt for the rest of the game. Well maybe not the rest of the game but certainly 6 out of their last 9 possessions. Throw in a missed field goal, and that will just about do it.
Final Score the Deadskins 10 the Ravens 24. Wonder if that gun came from a former Giant?
On Monday we found the Buccan game as Tampa Bay went to visit their old nemesis the Carolina Panthers. Buccaneer Quarterback Jeff Garcia was heard singing before the game “Nothing would be finer than to be in Carolina in the Morning”. Head coach Jon Gruden told Garcia that he could stay if he liked but that the rest of the team was leaving after the game. Garcia thought for a moment then told his coach he would stay if the Buccaneers won. Gruden relied sure, get on the damn bus, you got sacked 5 times and we lost the game. Garcia Exclaimed “But coach But Coach look”. Head Coach Gruden slowly turned and in a soft, quiet voice with his teeth clenched said “The only Butt I want to see is yours on the Bus”.
Final Score the Bucs 23 the Panthers 34. And we don’t think Gruden was happy.
Well that is it for this week and we have just one more thing to say. It is with a heavy heart that we bid a heartfelt goodbye to a dear friend. It is not everyday that we can become friends with someone as special as Maisy. She will be missed and our hearts go out to your family who miss her so much.
And remember like we always say….
I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
When children have to play inside so they don't disappear
And private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing Queens
and losing sight of having dreams
In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 13
Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 13 2008
Well here we are again, as the Holiday’s approach we find ourselves looking to see who is being naughty and who is being nice. So being a fat guy with a beard we feel like we can help out with the naughty and nice stuff. Well we will get it going, so with a crack of the whip and hearty Hi Ho Silver away… Oh wait that wasn’t right was it? Okay… Well Expo kick it…
First up on Thanksgiving we find the great game between the Tennessee Titians and The Detroit Lions. Then the kickoff came and simultaneously as the game began the game was ended. There was nothing else to say except that this game was over at the 8:21 mark in the FIRST QUARTER. Good God Man we couldn’t even put marsh mellows on the candied yams without the damn Titians scoring. Hell Lions get it together, we mean come on dude you had to focus for four days and put up a fight. Wow we have seen better fights by women over a hand bag at the thrift store.
Final score the Titians 47 the Lions 10. The Titians were Naughty, and the Lions just suck.
Up next we finally are able to get our potatoes mashed and now we are working on the gravy, Oh, hey somebody check that dressing. Crap the Cowboys just scored again, Crap what is the score at half time? 24 – 6. Nothing to be thankful for in this game except that Romo has thrown to T.O. to shut him up for this week. Well Romo throws 3 touchdowns and Hasselbeck gets sacked 7 times. Not much else. Hey can you pass the green bean casserole?
Final Score the Shehawks 9 the Cowboys 34. Cowboys, naughty the Shehawks, terrible.
And finally the Thanksgiving game on the NFL Network that was billed as the fight of the bird. We had the fight of the bird at our house, as we tried to stay awake. We lost the fight and fell asleep; does any one know what happened in the game? Let us look. Oh hear it is, huh? How did this game go? Well let us look 2 plus 9 carry the 1, and the total is... The Cardinals lose again.
Final Score the Cardinals 20 the Eagles 48. Cardinals were nice and the Eagles just scored again.
Okay now it is time to talk about the crappy game on CBS, what does this tell you about the game? Punt, punt, Missed Field Goal, Punt, Fumble, oh another Punt, and an Interception. Let us just say these 8 possessions netted a total of 98 yards. Well that is what the home team did, how did the visitors do? Fumble. End of Half, Interception, missed field Goal, Punt, and Punt then End of game. This juggernaut of an offensive game plan netted the visitor a total of 151 yards. Nice, how did this get on TV? Well we have said it before and it looks like it holds true here, Peyton Manning is playing like his brother used to, 15 for 21 for 125 yards. Oh my how far is the fall from Grace? No offensive touchdowns and a Colt win huh?
Final Score the Colts 10 the Browns 6. Neither team was Naughty, but neither wanted to win either.
Next we go to Cincinnati and find the Bungels at home and inviting the Ravens over for a coke and a smile. At the end of the game when the Bungels had 11 punts and 6 first downs, Bungels Head Coach Marvin Lewis was found on the sidelines with his head in his hands. Just when it seemed that things couldn’t get any worse the gun used to signify the end of the game was given to Marvin Lewis to fire. As he put the gun to his head, no one was there to stop him. He pulled the trigger, but no bullet came out of the barrel, it was a flag. What does that say, BANG? Nope, it says you are the Birth Canal Team on the week. At least you win something.
Final Score the Ravens 34 the Bungels 3. The Ravens win and the Bungels just don’t.
Up next we go to the game to see if a Dolphin can beat a Ewe. Isn’t that cute, can a cuddly little lamb beat a snarling Dolphin. A Snarling Dolphin? Really? Expo? When have you ever seen a snarling Dolphin? You have got to be kidding us? A Snarling Dolphin? Are we to think that these Snarling Dolphins are Ill-tempered as well? Well it looks like the number of scores is tied with 4 the Ewes had four field goals but the Snarling Dolphins had three field goals and a touchdown. Snarling Dolphins right?
Final Score the Snarling Dolphins 16 the Cuddly Ewes 12. Rah Rah Yuck…
What the Hell is going on in Buffalo? This week we find the 49ers of all teams, coming to town and finding not much in the way of a game. For the first time in a long time a team from West Coast came to the East Coast played a 1PM game and won. What can we say about the Bills? Thank goodness they scored in the third as Rian Lindell finally made a field goal. But like giving a freezing, naked man ear muffs, it was too little too late. We have a question? What the Hell does J.P stand for in J.P Losman? We know, when J.P goes into a game for Buffalo it’s Just Plain a loss Man. With that said.
The final score was the 49ers 10 the Bills 3. Well no one was Naughty here.
Now we will turn our attention to the Packer game. The Packers played very nice only scoring to take the lead in the fourth quarter with under 2 minutes left. But then the Packers allowed a 45 yard kickoff return. And with one play (a 54 yard reception to Steve Smith) the Panthers are at the one yard line. The Packers allowed DeAngelo Williams to score again, his 4th touchdown of the day, what a nice gesture. Looks like Santa might have something for you.
Final Score the Panthers 35 the Packers 31. What is the best Mascot name starting with a P?
It’s time to talk about the REG-GIE Bush Return. With The Greatest Running Back in the History of the NFL finally back to play we will take a close look at the numbers. MR. REG-GIE had 3 rushes for 0 yards. If we take out the long of 8 yards it means that REG-GIE had 2 carries for -8 yards, Very nice. Looking at his receptions we find 5 catches for 32 yards with a long of 10, making his true stats 4 catches for 22 yards. Is that all? Nope he had 2 punt returns for -16 yards. Oh no… Okay so he touched the ball 10 times for 16 yards is that what you call production? We don’t think so but New Orleans might.
Final Score the S-Aints 20 the Buccaneers 23. The S-Aints will get a lump of something in their Stockings.
Now we will talk about the WCNYFG. This game was the tribute to Redskin fallen star Sean Taylor, as he was inducted into the Redskin Hall of Fame. So with family and friends gathered around for the opening kick the biggest question was how are the WCNYFG going to handle all the intensity that the Redskins are coming out with? After three possessions the redskins ran nine plays for 48 yards and three punts. After the first three possessions the WCNYFG ran 24 plays for 198 yards and scored 13 points. Wow now that is intensity isn’t it? Maybe they were just getting warmed up? We think not. The last four game they are averaging 10 points a game so we have to ask the question, Hey Jim Zorn are you guys the chiefs or what?
Final Score the WCNYFG 23 the Deadskins 7. Oxymoron? Redskins Hall of Fame.
And now we will talk about the Crappy game on Fox. Did anyone have higher expectations in the NFL than San Diego? Well nothing like being bashed in the head with a rock is there? For 7 of the 12 weeks the Chargers have been nothing short sorry. And with their dignity on their sleeve they headed out for the kick off. After taking the opening kick off and driving almost 45 yards they punted the ball. This is not what Norv had in mind when the season started. Thank god there are some leftovers in the fridge can we get a sandwich?
Final Score the Falcons 22 the Chargers 16. The Chargers were nice.
Up next we will head to New England and home to the first Thanksgiving feast we think. We are going to try to give you a little history lesson. The very first Thanksgiving was held in what is now Saint Augustine Florida? What the hell? And it was held on September 8 1565. Well that is not in November. And no Miles Standish? Or that Indian gal Poca-what ever her name was? And what about the Plymouth rock thing…. Huh the Boats? Damn you Wikipedia. And there is a Thanksgiving in Canada? What do they have to be thankful for? That they don’t live in Mexico?
Final score The Steelers 33 the Patriots 10. Next they will say that there was no Pumpkin pie.
Next up let’s go to Oakland and find the Chiefs. This is where we find the craziest play we have seen in a long time. Let’s imagine this. You bring in your best player, a kicker. Being best Polish kicker in the NFL is like being the best snow skier from Guatemala. Okay so you have your best player out on the field doing what he does best kick the ball. When the ball is snapped the kicker runs to the left and the holder snaps the ball between his legs to the kicker. What should have happened is that the Kicker should have caught the ball ran around the end and down the sidelines for an easy first down or a touchdown for Gods sakes? But what happened was the ball (When snapped the second time) just skidded on the ground until a defender got close then it jumped up into his arms has he ran to the promise land. Oh Man what a play, this was terrible.
Final Score the Chiefs 20 the Raiders 13. Now KC has more wins in Oakland than Oakland does?
Now the last game of the day the New York Bretts traveled across the country to face the fury that is the Denver Bronco’s. So straighten this out for us. The Brett’s beat the Patriots on a Thursday night to take over the lead in the AFC East and are on their way to the playoffs. They had 10 days to prepare for a team that was just 6 and 5. Well Brett had a wonderful game going 23 for 43 for 247 yards with an interception, nice day right?
Final Score the Bretts 17 the Bronco’s 34. Denver was naughty and the Bretts just lazy.
Now for the Sunday night game. A tough game from the NFC North was featuring Da Bears and the Viqueens. Oh my Da Bears had 11 completions, 10 first downs, 9 punts no running game, no passing game, and not much on special teams. The Great Adrian Peterson had 28 carries for 131 yards, with a long of 59 yards making his true stats 27 carries for 72 yards a wonderful 2.6 yards per carry. Pitiful is all we can say. So the Viqueens win again, Damn that has happened 7 times now.
Final Score Da Bears 14 the Viqueens 34. And this is the game NBC thought would be good?
Finally on Monday night ESPN decided to go to Houston of all places. Did anyone see those crazy red uniforms? We thought that a bunch of Heinz Ketchup bottles were out on the field. Every time we looked up the Texans were scoring again. Holy Cow what has happened to the Jaguars? Well Jack del Rio shouldn’t worry his job is safe as long as Herm Edwards has a job… The Jags have lost everything but their self respect.
Final Score the Jags 17 the Texans 30. And that can’t be too far away now.
Well that will do it for this Holiday Edition of the Stroll. We sure do hope that everyone has enjoyed this as much as we have putting it together.
And remember like we always say…
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
'Til I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh
Do you, don't you want me to love you
I'm coming down fast, but I'm miles above you
Tell me, tell me tell me, c'mon tell me the answer
Well you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.
Now Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, yeah ...
a-Will you, won't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.
Look out! Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, oooh...
Look out, 'cause here she come ...
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
And I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
And I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh
Well do you, don't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer Look out!
helter skelter, helter skelter, helter skelter
Look out! Helter Skelter ...
she coming down fast
yes she is
yes she is
coming down fast oh now helter skelter ...
woo hooo
I got blisters on my fingers!
Well here we are again, as the Holiday’s approach we find ourselves looking to see who is being naughty and who is being nice. So being a fat guy with a beard we feel like we can help out with the naughty and nice stuff. Well we will get it going, so with a crack of the whip and hearty Hi Ho Silver away… Oh wait that wasn’t right was it? Okay… Well Expo kick it…
First up on Thanksgiving we find the great game between the Tennessee Titians and The Detroit Lions. Then the kickoff came and simultaneously as the game began the game was ended. There was nothing else to say except that this game was over at the 8:21 mark in the FIRST QUARTER. Good God Man we couldn’t even put marsh mellows on the candied yams without the damn Titians scoring. Hell Lions get it together, we mean come on dude you had to focus for four days and put up a fight. Wow we have seen better fights by women over a hand bag at the thrift store.
Final score the Titians 47 the Lions 10. The Titians were Naughty, and the Lions just suck.
Up next we finally are able to get our potatoes mashed and now we are working on the gravy, Oh, hey somebody check that dressing. Crap the Cowboys just scored again, Crap what is the score at half time? 24 – 6. Nothing to be thankful for in this game except that Romo has thrown to T.O. to shut him up for this week. Well Romo throws 3 touchdowns and Hasselbeck gets sacked 7 times. Not much else. Hey can you pass the green bean casserole?
Final Score the Shehawks 9 the Cowboys 34. Cowboys, naughty the Shehawks, terrible.
And finally the Thanksgiving game on the NFL Network that was billed as the fight of the bird. We had the fight of the bird at our house, as we tried to stay awake. We lost the fight and fell asleep; does any one know what happened in the game? Let us look. Oh hear it is, huh? How did this game go? Well let us look 2 plus 9 carry the 1, and the total is... The Cardinals lose again.
Final Score the Cardinals 20 the Eagles 48. Cardinals were nice and the Eagles just scored again.
Okay now it is time to talk about the crappy game on CBS, what does this tell you about the game? Punt, punt, Missed Field Goal, Punt, Fumble, oh another Punt, and an Interception. Let us just say these 8 possessions netted a total of 98 yards. Well that is what the home team did, how did the visitors do? Fumble. End of Half, Interception, missed field Goal, Punt, and Punt then End of game. This juggernaut of an offensive game plan netted the visitor a total of 151 yards. Nice, how did this get on TV? Well we have said it before and it looks like it holds true here, Peyton Manning is playing like his brother used to, 15 for 21 for 125 yards. Oh my how far is the fall from Grace? No offensive touchdowns and a Colt win huh?
Final Score the Colts 10 the Browns 6. Neither team was Naughty, but neither wanted to win either.
Next we go to Cincinnati and find the Bungels at home and inviting the Ravens over for a coke and a smile. At the end of the game when the Bungels had 11 punts and 6 first downs, Bungels Head Coach Marvin Lewis was found on the sidelines with his head in his hands. Just when it seemed that things couldn’t get any worse the gun used to signify the end of the game was given to Marvin Lewis to fire. As he put the gun to his head, no one was there to stop him. He pulled the trigger, but no bullet came out of the barrel, it was a flag. What does that say, BANG? Nope, it says you are the Birth Canal Team on the week. At least you win something.
Final Score the Ravens 34 the Bungels 3. The Ravens win and the Bungels just don’t.
Up next we go to the game to see if a Dolphin can beat a Ewe. Isn’t that cute, can a cuddly little lamb beat a snarling Dolphin. A Snarling Dolphin? Really? Expo? When have you ever seen a snarling Dolphin? You have got to be kidding us? A Snarling Dolphin? Are we to think that these Snarling Dolphins are Ill-tempered as well? Well it looks like the number of scores is tied with 4 the Ewes had four field goals but the Snarling Dolphins had three field goals and a touchdown. Snarling Dolphins right?
Final Score the Snarling Dolphins 16 the Cuddly Ewes 12. Rah Rah Yuck…
What the Hell is going on in Buffalo? This week we find the 49ers of all teams, coming to town and finding not much in the way of a game. For the first time in a long time a team from West Coast came to the East Coast played a 1PM game and won. What can we say about the Bills? Thank goodness they scored in the third as Rian Lindell finally made a field goal. But like giving a freezing, naked man ear muffs, it was too little too late. We have a question? What the Hell does J.P stand for in J.P Losman? We know, when J.P goes into a game for Buffalo it’s Just Plain a loss Man. With that said.
The final score was the 49ers 10 the Bills 3. Well no one was Naughty here.
Now we will turn our attention to the Packer game. The Packers played very nice only scoring to take the lead in the fourth quarter with under 2 minutes left. But then the Packers allowed a 45 yard kickoff return. And with one play (a 54 yard reception to Steve Smith) the Panthers are at the one yard line. The Packers allowed DeAngelo Williams to score again, his 4th touchdown of the day, what a nice gesture. Looks like Santa might have something for you.
Final Score the Panthers 35 the Packers 31. What is the best Mascot name starting with a P?
It’s time to talk about the REG-GIE Bush Return. With The Greatest Running Back in the History of the NFL finally back to play we will take a close look at the numbers. MR. REG-GIE had 3 rushes for 0 yards. If we take out the long of 8 yards it means that REG-GIE had 2 carries for -8 yards, Very nice. Looking at his receptions we find 5 catches for 32 yards with a long of 10, making his true stats 4 catches for 22 yards. Is that all? Nope he had 2 punt returns for -16 yards. Oh no… Okay so he touched the ball 10 times for 16 yards is that what you call production? We don’t think so but New Orleans might.
Final Score the S-Aints 20 the Buccaneers 23. The S-Aints will get a lump of something in their Stockings.
Now we will talk about the WCNYFG. This game was the tribute to Redskin fallen star Sean Taylor, as he was inducted into the Redskin Hall of Fame. So with family and friends gathered around for the opening kick the biggest question was how are the WCNYFG going to handle all the intensity that the Redskins are coming out with? After three possessions the redskins ran nine plays for 48 yards and three punts. After the first three possessions the WCNYFG ran 24 plays for 198 yards and scored 13 points. Wow now that is intensity isn’t it? Maybe they were just getting warmed up? We think not. The last four game they are averaging 10 points a game so we have to ask the question, Hey Jim Zorn are you guys the chiefs or what?
Final Score the WCNYFG 23 the Deadskins 7. Oxymoron? Redskins Hall of Fame.
And now we will talk about the Crappy game on Fox. Did anyone have higher expectations in the NFL than San Diego? Well nothing like being bashed in the head with a rock is there? For 7 of the 12 weeks the Chargers have been nothing short sorry. And with their dignity on their sleeve they headed out for the kick off. After taking the opening kick off and driving almost 45 yards they punted the ball. This is not what Norv had in mind when the season started. Thank god there are some leftovers in the fridge can we get a sandwich?
Final Score the Falcons 22 the Chargers 16. The Chargers were nice.
Up next we will head to New England and home to the first Thanksgiving feast we think. We are going to try to give you a little history lesson. The very first Thanksgiving was held in what is now Saint Augustine Florida? What the hell? And it was held on September 8 1565. Well that is not in November. And no Miles Standish? Or that Indian gal Poca-what ever her name was? And what about the Plymouth rock thing…. Huh the Boats? Damn you Wikipedia. And there is a Thanksgiving in Canada? What do they have to be thankful for? That they don’t live in Mexico?
Final score The Steelers 33 the Patriots 10. Next they will say that there was no Pumpkin pie.
Next up let’s go to Oakland and find the Chiefs. This is where we find the craziest play we have seen in a long time. Let’s imagine this. You bring in your best player, a kicker. Being best Polish kicker in the NFL is like being the best snow skier from Guatemala. Okay so you have your best player out on the field doing what he does best kick the ball. When the ball is snapped the kicker runs to the left and the holder snaps the ball between his legs to the kicker. What should have happened is that the Kicker should have caught the ball ran around the end and down the sidelines for an easy first down or a touchdown for Gods sakes? But what happened was the ball (When snapped the second time) just skidded on the ground until a defender got close then it jumped up into his arms has he ran to the promise land. Oh Man what a play, this was terrible.
Final Score the Chiefs 20 the Raiders 13. Now KC has more wins in Oakland than Oakland does?
Now the last game of the day the New York Bretts traveled across the country to face the fury that is the Denver Bronco’s. So straighten this out for us. The Brett’s beat the Patriots on a Thursday night to take over the lead in the AFC East and are on their way to the playoffs. They had 10 days to prepare for a team that was just 6 and 5. Well Brett had a wonderful game going 23 for 43 for 247 yards with an interception, nice day right?
Final Score the Bretts 17 the Bronco’s 34. Denver was naughty and the Bretts just lazy.
Now for the Sunday night game. A tough game from the NFC North was featuring Da Bears and the Viqueens. Oh my Da Bears had 11 completions, 10 first downs, 9 punts no running game, no passing game, and not much on special teams. The Great Adrian Peterson had 28 carries for 131 yards, with a long of 59 yards making his true stats 27 carries for 72 yards a wonderful 2.6 yards per carry. Pitiful is all we can say. So the Viqueens win again, Damn that has happened 7 times now.
Final Score Da Bears 14 the Viqueens 34. And this is the game NBC thought would be good?
Finally on Monday night ESPN decided to go to Houston of all places. Did anyone see those crazy red uniforms? We thought that a bunch of Heinz Ketchup bottles were out on the field. Every time we looked up the Texans were scoring again. Holy Cow what has happened to the Jaguars? Well Jack del Rio shouldn’t worry his job is safe as long as Herm Edwards has a job… The Jags have lost everything but their self respect.
Final Score the Jags 17 the Texans 30. And that can’t be too far away now.
Well that will do it for this Holiday Edition of the Stroll. We sure do hope that everyone has enjoyed this as much as we have putting it together.
And remember like we always say…
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
'Til I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh
Do you, don't you want me to love you
I'm coming down fast, but I'm miles above you
Tell me, tell me tell me, c'mon tell me the answer
Well you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.
Now Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, yeah ...
a-Will you, won't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.
Look out! Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, oooh...
Look out, 'cause here she come ...
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
And I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
And I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh
Well do you, don't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer Look out!
helter skelter, helter skelter, helter skelter
Look out! Helter Skelter ...
she coming down fast
yes she is
yes she is
coming down fast oh now helter skelter ...
woo hooo
I got blisters on my fingers!
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