Stroll down the NFL Boulevard week 12 2008
Well look what we have here. We are through week 12 and we are beginning to see things clearer now. The playoff picture as starting to look like one of those three dimensional pictures, kind of hard for some but others see pretty clearly. Okay well with no one off this week then we will just get started… Kick it Expo…
First up we will talk about the NFL Network game on Thursday. The Cincinnati Bungels took a little trip up to Pittsburg to play against the Steelers. Head Coach Marvin Lewis was so excited about being on National TV that after the Bungels scored they ran off the field to watch themselves on television. They went from hotel to Sports bar like a child on Halloween looking for the game. When they understood that they could not find the game because it is only on in the 35% of the country and Pittsburg is in the 65% that doesn’t get the network. They went back to the stadium and found they were behind 20 to 7. So they kicked a field goal and called it a night.
Final Score the Bungels 10 the Steelers 27. Thank God no one had to watch this or could.
Starting at the bottom we find ourselves in St Louis. Well okay let’s get through this as quickly as possible. The Bears of Chicago came to town looking for dinner, and the only thing they wanted was a little sheep. The Bears literally mauled the Ewes for three quarters then went back into hibernation. Even Boo-Boo got a meal before he went to bed. After the game Ewe Head Coach Jim Hasslett had this to say “Baa-ram-ewe Baa-ram-ewe to your Birth Canal be true.” At Least that is the way we heard it.
Final Score Da Bears 27 Da Ewes 3. How many more games does St Louis play?
Up next we head to Cleveland. We know that you have to play every game on your schedule but why did the NFL have to schedule this game? Thank God this game wasn’t seen on TV we don’t even think it was on in the home markets. The only thing that Cleveland beat the Texans on was turnovers Houston had 4 and the Browns had 5. This game was so bad, that both teams left after the third quarter and nobody noticed.
Final Score the Texans 16 the Browns 6. Ready? One, Two Three…. YUCK!!!
Next we will travel to Kansas City for a game between Buffalo and the Chiefs. Again nothing is funny about Kansas City because they are so pathetic that mere words can’t describe how bad they are. WE will not resort to Crayola pictures in this format. We will however discuss Buffalo. You guys scored like you were playing, huh??? Well Kansas City. Good thing you were playing them. Wow you guys scored like good Enema, High, hot and a hell of lot.
Buffalo 54 the Chiefs 31. How much longer can we call them the Chiefs?
WE will now turn our attention to the Patriots and Dolphins. This game had all the makings of a great one until it started. Okay who thought that the Dolphins had a chance to win this game, Raise you hand. You right there in the back, put your hand down, you didn’t think that. You didn’t either. See even Tuna Cakes didn’t think they could win. And if Tuna Cakes didn’t think so then they probably couldn’t. Thank you Tony Sparano for sticking to the run 17 carries for 62 yards, not sure that is what Tuna Cakes is looking for.
Patriots 48 the Dolphins 28. Hey Miami is 8 – 8 in your Future??
Now we will go to Tennessee and all things Titians. The New York Bretts have made their way through the muddy waters of the AFC with their heads held high. So how could we expect anything less than a win against the undefeated Titians? Well we did. This will just further the Heroic stature that is Brett Farve. So let’s take a look at his day 25 of 32 for 224 yards, workman like but nothing to really write home about. But he does get the win even if they ran ball 39 times for 192 yards. With 61 on one carry.
Final Score the Bretts 34 the Titians 13. We guess we don’t have to Remember the Titians this week.
Next we head to the crime riddled town of Baltimore. Well the police should have be called because Donovan McNabb had his dignity stolen. Andy Reid could not have hurt McNabb any more if had pulled his pants down and spanked him at the fifty yard line. Joe “the Delaware Destroyer” Flacco found his way through the Beagle defense on 12 of 26 passing for 183 yards. Wow can you say 3 completions a quarter? That was not bad to the bone, but when Kevin Kolb came in after the half there was no hand jive.
Final Score the Beagles 7 the Ravens 36. Edgar Allen Poe would be proud.
Well now it is time to talk about the Buccan game. Tampa Bay and Jeff Garcia headed north for a game with the Lions. Head Coach Jon Gruden told his players to take it easy on the lions and decided to let them score the first three times in the game. Then the Bucs took over the game. Jeff Garcia tried to tell Jon Gruden just how great he is. “Hey Coach, O is for Awesome.” To which Gruden replied “What the hell” “Well I am on the Offense and we are Awesome”.
Final Score the Bucs 38 the Lions 20. We guess that Q is for Cupid as well…
Next we head to Big D to see if Tony’s Pinky is getting any better. It looks like it is, as the Shake and Bake combination of Romo to T.O. is back on track as Owens caught 7 passes for 213 yards and a touch down. It looks like Tony’s pinky is back in action, and not the kind of action Jessica is looking for, but the kind of action that Jerry Jones is looking for.
Final Score the 49ers 22 the Cowboys 35. Hail to the Cowboys…
Well with the Viqueens game we have to check in and see how well Adrian Peterson did. The Viqueens were able to get out of the cold and in to the Florida to play Jacksonville. But we really aren’t sure if the Jaguars really played this week. But they did have more first downs, more total yards and the same number of punts. And they did have more penalties and more turnovers which lead to their demise. Peterson had 18 carries for 81 yards with a long of 21 making his true stats 17 carries for 59 yards. Still more than 3 yards a carry but far less than hundred yards a game we think?
The Viqueens 30 the Jaguars 12. Viqueens Win Viqueens win. Still doesn’t sound right.
Up next we will head to the Land of milk and honey known as Denver. Have you ever just wondered around the great state of Colorado and taken all the wonders that God has placed there? The Mountains, the Rivers, the snowy peaks, the lack of effort when playing an inferior division rival. Nothing is ever Peaches and Cream when the Raiders come to town but that is what the Bronco’s thought as they played Sunday afternoon. Denver running back Tatum Bell showed why he was the key missing from Denver’s running attack as he gained 14 total yards on 6 carries. Wow what production.
Final Score the Raiders 31 the Bronco’s 10. This was the Crappy game on CBS.
Now we will find out if a Falcon can beat a Panther. In a battle of Animalistic foes in Atlanta, the Falcons showed why they should be taken seriously this season. After Falcon Quarterback Matt Ryan removed his clown nose and shoes he threw 27 passes with such pin point accuracy that 17 of them were caught. He also had no interceptions but no touchdowns either. After the Game he was heard yelling across the field to Panther QB Jake Delhomme, “Hey your no Brett Favre” which Jake responded by saying “Thank God I wouldn’t want to play for the Jets”
Final Score the Panthers 28 the Falcons 45. Is anybody Brett Favre? We mean really?
Now comes the time when we turn our attention the WCNYFG. In this episode we will feature a Star on that team and give you, the reader, some insight to one of the Stars on the team. Let us be the first to introduce you to Madison Hedgecock. This Fullback has helped the Giants to lots of wins this season as a lead blocker for other running backs on the team. He grew up in North Carolina and played his college football at the University of North Carolina making him a Tar Heel, but he keeps his feet clean, so we have been told. Early in his life during a peewee football season he father told his Coach “I am not afraid to go back to jail to get my son more playing time” The Coach put him in a kickoff and kickoff return which seemed to satisfy his father. There was one other thing we found out about Madison, he was once seen in Richmond, we can only assume they meant Virginia. His stats in the game: 2 catches for 10 yards and a touchdown. After the game we were told that Coach Coughlin had a phone message from Madison’s Father, we can only wonder what that was about.
Final Score the WCNYFG 37 the Cardinals 29. We found it all on his Wikipedia page.
And now what you have all been waiting for this week’s crappy game on Fox. The Redskins of Washington traveled all the way across the country to Washington to play against the Shehawks. Matt Hassel beck had a stellar game with 12 completions for 103 yards, a very Ellie Manning day if we do say so. When the Shehawks scored a touchdown to tie the game they just quit. 9 yards in the fourth quarter is terrible. It is like you just gave up. Jim Zorn returned to Seattle and made up for some mistakes that he had their when he was a quarterback. During the post game press conference one reporter asked “When are you left hand” to which Coach Zorn responded “Always, Next question.”
Final Score the Deadskins 20 the Shehawks 17. We guess you can travel across the country and win; if you play in Seattle.
On Sunday Night the Colts went to San Diego to play the Bolts. Norv Turner has hit a bad patch and went into his little black book to find someone he could score with. After getting several no’s and lots of rejection he found that Nate Keeding would kick him a field goal to tie the game. But then a stinking Manning took over and drove 37 yards to kick a winning field goal. What a bunch of crap how could Norv let this happen? Where is the defense? Thanks goodness we went to bed and missed the final minute and a half. Now Norv is on the hot seat like Marty Schottenheimer was a couple of years ago. We can only say one thing. Stay Classy San Diego.
Final Score the Colts 23 the Chargers 20. Even John Madden was mad about it, we think.
Then on Monday night we find that the Saints invited the Packers down for a pre-Mardi-gras party. They put Donald Driver, and Ryan Grant on floats and drove them around the Stadium. They kept throwing Aaron Rogers beads and yelling for him to pull his shirt up. Drew Brees pulled up his shirt, and then pulled down the pants of the Packer Defense, by throwing 4 touchdowns. After the game Packer Head Coach Mike McCarthy was asked about the 3 fumbles that his team had, and he had this to say “Luckily we didn’t lose any, but I remember something that John Heisman said” he picked up a ball and said” Gentlemen it is better to die a small boy, than to fumble this football.” Interesting? We think not.
Final Score The Packers 29 the S-Aints 51. Is New Orleans doing better with or without REG-GIE???
Okay well there you have it, another week in the books and with only 5 more weeks to go before we get to playoff time… We can hardly wait. We are putting on our Fat Pants and getting ready for Thanksgiving and we sure hope that you all have the greatest of time with family and friends during this Holiday season…
And remember like we always say…
Don't live in the past
Don't hold on to something that's changing fast
What we are, is what we are and what we wear
Is vintage clothes, vintage clothes:
We jump up for joy
Who cares if we look like a girl or boy
What we are, is what we are and what we wear
Is vintage clothes, vintage clothes:
A little more, a little tall
Check the rack
What went out, is coming back
Don't live in the past
Don't hold on to something that's changing fast
What we are, is what we are and what we wear
Is vintage clothes, vintage clothes:
A little more, a little tall
Check the rack
What went out, is coming back
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 11
Stroll down the NFL Boulevard week 11 2008
Here we are 11 weeks into the season and we find that everyone now has 10 games under their belt. First up lets talk about the teams that are off this week, Where is that list? Huh nope not there, nope that is not it either, Ah here it is, it was right there, in the next to the last place we looked because we keep looking after we found it. Okay well huh no one was off this week huh? Well then we guess that means that everyone played this week so let’s get it started. Expo are you ready? Expo? Expo? God good help is hard to fine.
First up we head to Thursday? Huh okay Thursday? Oh yea this is the time of the year when the NFL plays a game on its own Network. The NFL Network is on in about 35 % of the country, which is still better than a New Orleans Saints game on the road. In this tough AFC battle the New York Bretts played against the New England Patriots for first place in the East. This game actually went to overtime, did anyone see? Favre was 26 of 33 for 258 yards we guess that is good, but Matt Cassel was 30 of 51 for 400 yards.
Final Score the Jets 34 the Pats 31. This reminds us of the skeleton of a whale.
First up on Sunday let’s go to the bottom. For the first time in a long time we find the bottom in Green Bay Wisconsin. Lovey Smith came to town with his Bears, but when they got off the bus they looked as if they had turned into the Yogi Yahooeys. Are these the Bears that went to the Super Bowl? Or are these the Bears that get beat by the Scooby Doobies? These are looking more like the Bears that just mill around in the stream not sure what to do get a fish so they just splash around. Oh look, there is Bear in the Fox River, lets see what he does. Wow he slapped a fish right out to us, hey is that fish talking? What did it just say? Yes we will keep it to ourselves. The Birth Canal Team of the week is the Chicago Bears? Okay we will not tell any one.
Final Score Da Bears 3 Da Packers 37 A Talking Fish? Huh…
Next let talk about the Crappy game on CBS, and for that we head to the Meadowlands; we had the pleasure of watching this game. The Delaware Destroyer Joe Flacco didn’t have a good game as he was 20 of 33 for 164 yards, but Ellie had the game of his life, we don’t think that anything, even his winning the Superbowl can compare to his stats this week. Let’s take a look and go inside the numbers. He was 13 for 23 for 153 yards. Wow we guess he was relying on the running game.
The Ravens 10 the Giants 30. Wow this was a colossal bore of a game.
Okay so next we find the game that will tell us if the fury a Falcon is equal to that of a Bronco. This game was between two teams evenly matched let’s take a look. One team had 20 first downs and the other had 19 one team had 332 yards of offense and the other had 364 one team had 3 punts the other had only 2. And one team had 6 penalties while the other team had 5. Well this game could have been decided by a flip of a coin at the fifty. How about the best two out of three?
Final Score the Bronco’s 24 the Falldowns 20. How about the best 3 out of 5?
Next we will talk about the game in Indianapolis. The Houston Texans went all the way up to Indiana to play the Colts and the Colts were nice hosts in the first quarter. After that they turned up the Heat and burned the Sage Rosenfels. Matt Schuab showed us why he is best left on the sidelines during this season as he didn’t play again. Schuab is out with the dreaded left knee injury. Houston you have a problem. And it starts with Quarterback play.
Final Score the Texans 27 the Colts 33. Three in a row for the Colts not bad…
Next we travel down to Tuna Cakesville also known as Miami. If the Dolphins are really getting better then why are they struggling with the Raiders? They should not struggle with the freakin’ Raiders. We mean come on. How bad do you have to be to kick a game winning field goal with :35 seconds to go on the clock? Well we guess you have to be 6 – 4 and in second place of the AFC East bad. We are almost tired of making jokes about Al Davis, but here goes… How many owners does it take to kill a Superbowl team in 4 years? Just one if it is Al Davis in a Valor sweat suit.
Final Score the Raiders 15 the Dolphins 17. Tuna Cakes will not be happy…
Okay and we have gotten so upset about this next game that we can hardly say anything about. We guess the one thing we can say is what the hell? And why does Detroit play a game every week. They are just going to lose.
Final Score the Lions 22 the Panthers 31. Guess the Panther is the King of the Jungle now.
Looking back to last year the Chiefs they were 4 – 12 not winning a game after October 21. This year they are 1 and 9 after not winning a game since September, and Herm Edwards still has his job. This has gotten so bad we can’t even make a joke about it any longer, this is just sad.
Final score the S-Aints 30 the Chiefs 20. This could have been better but Megan Fox wasn’t there.
Up next we head to the Buccan game in Tampa Bay. The Viqueens came, played, and lost just like they have before. With the game on the line in the fourth quarter the very best that the Viqueens could muster was…0 yards, that is ZERO yards. How do they do that with the leading rusher in the NFL this year? Adrian Peterson had a good game with 19 carries for 85 yards. Not too bad except that when the game was on the line he had 0 carries for 0 yards. Okay in the Second half Peterson had 6 carries for 14 yards, which means that in the first half he had 13 carries for 71 yards very good and the Viqueens lead 13 to 6. But like Loud mouth Eric says this game is 60 minutes or 4 quarters of 15 minutes each. Jeff Garcia was heard saying “Just keep giving me the Buccan ball” and John Gruden just shook his head.
Final score the Viqueens 13 the Buccaneers 19. Why didn’t AP get the ball more?
Next we will talk about the Crappy game on Fox, so let’s go out to the Bay of San Francisco and find the transformation of the 49ers. Now that San Francisco is starting to turn we can start to see a change. Well they didn’t score in every quarter, they didn’t win the first down battle, and they lost the total yards situation. Then they had more punts and penalties. They lost the time of possession as well. But as the clock was running out in the fourth quarter you could hear Head Coach Mike Singletary singing, “Watermelon, Watermelon, Watermelon Rhine, look on the Score board and see who’s behind.” The more things change the more they stay the same.
Final Score the Ewes 16 the 49ers 35. Nice Cheer coach…
Okay well this next game just baffles us. The Beagles went into the home of the Bungels for what they thought would be an easy win. But with 5:18 left in the game Philly kicked a field goal to tie the game. Then it was a punt-fest. Hey do you know what they say about a tie in football? They say it is like kissing your sister. Didn’t everyone know that? We guess that Donovan McNabb didn’t know that because he thought that game would just continue until someone scored. But let us tell you that you don’t score by kissing your sister unless you live in Arkansas or West Virginia.
Final Score the Beagles 13 the Bungels 13. Or maybe Mississippi???
Up next we find the game in Seattle. Poor Seattle they have lost more games this year than they have in the last two years. This is no way to send your coach into retirement. Hiking up you skirt is no way to show people what you are made of. Trust us we have seen that this year, everyone has seen that this year. Is Coach Mike Holmgren even going to meetings? It doesn’t look like to us. Well we guess that the Freaking Cardinals are going to the playoffs. Holy Crap.
Final Score the Cardinals 26 the Shehawks 20. Damn it the Cardinals are in the playoffs.
Well now it is time to remember the Titans. This week the Titans were challenged by the Jaguars. The Jaguars? Okay, well they made the playoffs last year and did pretty well. This year however they are out of the playoffs. It would take a Miracle. And no not that horse from the “History of the world part 1” movie, Just a quick little note to Jack Del Rio Jaguars head coach. Good Lord you have a team down 14 to 3 and you let them up? You could have been the team that knocked off the undefeated Titans but you ended up just being the next team to lose.
Final Score the Titans 24 the Jags 14. Well let’s see what happens next week.
And lastly on Sunday we find the Chargers have come to Pittsburg. This game was typical Steeler football. Hold the ball until the other team falls asleep then score to win. We are not sure why but the Chargers just can’t get the job done with their offense right now. Now we know that Norv Turner has scored in the past, and he will probably score again in the future but right now it doesn’t look like he could score with his sister in Arkansas.
Final Score the Chargers 10 the Steelers 11. Or Alabama, or Louisiana.
And now we will talk about the Sunday night game. The Cowboys went to Washington, like the new President Elect, with Tony Romo and Terrance Newman to inflict a little change. The Cowboys did some things different, they won. Tony Romo used his Lego Thumb instead of his broken pinky to throw a touchdown. With game still in question in the fourth Quarter Marion the Barbarian took over the game. With 66 yards in the fourth quarter he finished the game strong. After the game Coach Wade Phillips said he talked to Marion just before his last play from Scrimmage and with a wink and nod to the invisible cameraman Marion told his coach it is what it is Lesbian. Then went out and got the first down.
Final Score the Cowboys 14 the Deadskins 10. Hell for the Deadskins Hell for the Deadskins.
And finally on Monday night The Browns came to Buffalo with nothing short of win on their mind. And thank God Brady Quinn got the start he had such a wonderful game that even Ellie Manning would be proud. His stats ended 14 completions on 36 attempts for a total of 185 yards. Wow that is 7 completions per half, at least he is even. Trent Edwards would have liked those numbers. But he had 3 interceptions, meaning that he threw 3 passes to the other team. Not good, just so you know. Hey Romeo you had better thank your lucky stars that you have kicker Phil Dawson as he practically won the game for you… how often does a kicker score 17 points in game?
Final Score Browns 29 the Bills 27. Huh that would have beaten 12 other teams this week.
Well we have come to the end of another week and we sure hope you enjoy this as much as we have putting it together. Hey does anyone else hate those black pants that the Referees wear now that it has gotten cold?
And remember like we always say….
I got a little black book with my poems in.
Got a bag, got a toothbrush and a comb.
When Im a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone.
I got elastic bands keeping my shoes on.
Got those swollen hands blues.
Got thirteen channels of shit on the tv to choose from.
I got electric light,
And I got second sight.
Got amazing powers of observation.
And that is how I know,
When I try to get through,
On the telephone to you,
Therell be nobody home.
I got the obligatory hendrix perm,
And the inevitable pinhole burns,
All down the front of my favorite satin shirt.
I got nicotine stains on my fingers.
I got a silver spoon on a chain.
Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains.
Ive got wild, staring eyes.
And I got a strong urge to fly,
But I got nowhere to fly to (-- fly to... fly to... fly to...).
Ooooo babe,When I pick up the phone,
Theres still nobody home.
I got a pair of gohill boots,
And I got fading roots
Here we are 11 weeks into the season and we find that everyone now has 10 games under their belt. First up lets talk about the teams that are off this week, Where is that list? Huh nope not there, nope that is not it either, Ah here it is, it was right there, in the next to the last place we looked because we keep looking after we found it. Okay well huh no one was off this week huh? Well then we guess that means that everyone played this week so let’s get it started. Expo are you ready? Expo? Expo? God good help is hard to fine.
First up we head to Thursday? Huh okay Thursday? Oh yea this is the time of the year when the NFL plays a game on its own Network. The NFL Network is on in about 35 % of the country, which is still better than a New Orleans Saints game on the road. In this tough AFC battle the New York Bretts played against the New England Patriots for first place in the East. This game actually went to overtime, did anyone see? Favre was 26 of 33 for 258 yards we guess that is good, but Matt Cassel was 30 of 51 for 400 yards.
Final Score the Jets 34 the Pats 31. This reminds us of the skeleton of a whale.
First up on Sunday let’s go to the bottom. For the first time in a long time we find the bottom in Green Bay Wisconsin. Lovey Smith came to town with his Bears, but when they got off the bus they looked as if they had turned into the Yogi Yahooeys. Are these the Bears that went to the Super Bowl? Or are these the Bears that get beat by the Scooby Doobies? These are looking more like the Bears that just mill around in the stream not sure what to do get a fish so they just splash around. Oh look, there is Bear in the Fox River, lets see what he does. Wow he slapped a fish right out to us, hey is that fish talking? What did it just say? Yes we will keep it to ourselves. The Birth Canal Team of the week is the Chicago Bears? Okay we will not tell any one.
Final Score Da Bears 3 Da Packers 37 A Talking Fish? Huh…
Next let talk about the Crappy game on CBS, and for that we head to the Meadowlands; we had the pleasure of watching this game. The Delaware Destroyer Joe Flacco didn’t have a good game as he was 20 of 33 for 164 yards, but Ellie had the game of his life, we don’t think that anything, even his winning the Superbowl can compare to his stats this week. Let’s take a look and go inside the numbers. He was 13 for 23 for 153 yards. Wow we guess he was relying on the running game.
The Ravens 10 the Giants 30. Wow this was a colossal bore of a game.
Okay so next we find the game that will tell us if the fury a Falcon is equal to that of a Bronco. This game was between two teams evenly matched let’s take a look. One team had 20 first downs and the other had 19 one team had 332 yards of offense and the other had 364 one team had 3 punts the other had only 2. And one team had 6 penalties while the other team had 5. Well this game could have been decided by a flip of a coin at the fifty. How about the best two out of three?
Final Score the Bronco’s 24 the Falldowns 20. How about the best 3 out of 5?
Next we will talk about the game in Indianapolis. The Houston Texans went all the way up to Indiana to play the Colts and the Colts were nice hosts in the first quarter. After that they turned up the Heat and burned the Sage Rosenfels. Matt Schuab showed us why he is best left on the sidelines during this season as he didn’t play again. Schuab is out with the dreaded left knee injury. Houston you have a problem. And it starts with Quarterback play.
Final Score the Texans 27 the Colts 33. Three in a row for the Colts not bad…
Next we travel down to Tuna Cakesville also known as Miami. If the Dolphins are really getting better then why are they struggling with the Raiders? They should not struggle with the freakin’ Raiders. We mean come on. How bad do you have to be to kick a game winning field goal with :35 seconds to go on the clock? Well we guess you have to be 6 – 4 and in second place of the AFC East bad. We are almost tired of making jokes about Al Davis, but here goes… How many owners does it take to kill a Superbowl team in 4 years? Just one if it is Al Davis in a Valor sweat suit.
Final Score the Raiders 15 the Dolphins 17. Tuna Cakes will not be happy…
Okay and we have gotten so upset about this next game that we can hardly say anything about. We guess the one thing we can say is what the hell? And why does Detroit play a game every week. They are just going to lose.
Final Score the Lions 22 the Panthers 31. Guess the Panther is the King of the Jungle now.
Looking back to last year the Chiefs they were 4 – 12 not winning a game after October 21. This year they are 1 and 9 after not winning a game since September, and Herm Edwards still has his job. This has gotten so bad we can’t even make a joke about it any longer, this is just sad.
Final score the S-Aints 30 the Chiefs 20. This could have been better but Megan Fox wasn’t there.
Up next we head to the Buccan game in Tampa Bay. The Viqueens came, played, and lost just like they have before. With the game on the line in the fourth quarter the very best that the Viqueens could muster was…0 yards, that is ZERO yards. How do they do that with the leading rusher in the NFL this year? Adrian Peterson had a good game with 19 carries for 85 yards. Not too bad except that when the game was on the line he had 0 carries for 0 yards. Okay in the Second half Peterson had 6 carries for 14 yards, which means that in the first half he had 13 carries for 71 yards very good and the Viqueens lead 13 to 6. But like Loud mouth Eric says this game is 60 minutes or 4 quarters of 15 minutes each. Jeff Garcia was heard saying “Just keep giving me the Buccan ball” and John Gruden just shook his head.
Final score the Viqueens 13 the Buccaneers 19. Why didn’t AP get the ball more?
Next we will talk about the Crappy game on Fox, so let’s go out to the Bay of San Francisco and find the transformation of the 49ers. Now that San Francisco is starting to turn we can start to see a change. Well they didn’t score in every quarter, they didn’t win the first down battle, and they lost the total yards situation. Then they had more punts and penalties. They lost the time of possession as well. But as the clock was running out in the fourth quarter you could hear Head Coach Mike Singletary singing, “Watermelon, Watermelon, Watermelon Rhine, look on the Score board and see who’s behind.” The more things change the more they stay the same.
Final Score the Ewes 16 the 49ers 35. Nice Cheer coach…
Okay well this next game just baffles us. The Beagles went into the home of the Bungels for what they thought would be an easy win. But with 5:18 left in the game Philly kicked a field goal to tie the game. Then it was a punt-fest. Hey do you know what they say about a tie in football? They say it is like kissing your sister. Didn’t everyone know that? We guess that Donovan McNabb didn’t know that because he thought that game would just continue until someone scored. But let us tell you that you don’t score by kissing your sister unless you live in Arkansas or West Virginia.
Final Score the Beagles 13 the Bungels 13. Or maybe Mississippi???
Up next we find the game in Seattle. Poor Seattle they have lost more games this year than they have in the last two years. This is no way to send your coach into retirement. Hiking up you skirt is no way to show people what you are made of. Trust us we have seen that this year, everyone has seen that this year. Is Coach Mike Holmgren even going to meetings? It doesn’t look like to us. Well we guess that the Freaking Cardinals are going to the playoffs. Holy Crap.
Final Score the Cardinals 26 the Shehawks 20. Damn it the Cardinals are in the playoffs.
Well now it is time to remember the Titans. This week the Titans were challenged by the Jaguars. The Jaguars? Okay, well they made the playoffs last year and did pretty well. This year however they are out of the playoffs. It would take a Miracle. And no not that horse from the “History of the world part 1” movie, Just a quick little note to Jack Del Rio Jaguars head coach. Good Lord you have a team down 14 to 3 and you let them up? You could have been the team that knocked off the undefeated Titans but you ended up just being the next team to lose.
Final Score the Titans 24 the Jags 14. Well let’s see what happens next week.
And lastly on Sunday we find the Chargers have come to Pittsburg. This game was typical Steeler football. Hold the ball until the other team falls asleep then score to win. We are not sure why but the Chargers just can’t get the job done with their offense right now. Now we know that Norv Turner has scored in the past, and he will probably score again in the future but right now it doesn’t look like he could score with his sister in Arkansas.
Final Score the Chargers 10 the Steelers 11. Or Alabama, or Louisiana.
And now we will talk about the Sunday night game. The Cowboys went to Washington, like the new President Elect, with Tony Romo and Terrance Newman to inflict a little change. The Cowboys did some things different, they won. Tony Romo used his Lego Thumb instead of his broken pinky to throw a touchdown. With game still in question in the fourth Quarter Marion the Barbarian took over the game. With 66 yards in the fourth quarter he finished the game strong. After the game Coach Wade Phillips said he talked to Marion just before his last play from Scrimmage and with a wink and nod to the invisible cameraman Marion told his coach it is what it is Lesbian. Then went out and got the first down.
Final Score the Cowboys 14 the Deadskins 10. Hell for the Deadskins Hell for the Deadskins.
And finally on Monday night The Browns came to Buffalo with nothing short of win on their mind. And thank God Brady Quinn got the start he had such a wonderful game that even Ellie Manning would be proud. His stats ended 14 completions on 36 attempts for a total of 185 yards. Wow that is 7 completions per half, at least he is even. Trent Edwards would have liked those numbers. But he had 3 interceptions, meaning that he threw 3 passes to the other team. Not good, just so you know. Hey Romeo you had better thank your lucky stars that you have kicker Phil Dawson as he practically won the game for you… how often does a kicker score 17 points in game?
Final Score Browns 29 the Bills 27. Huh that would have beaten 12 other teams this week.
Well we have come to the end of another week and we sure hope you enjoy this as much as we have putting it together. Hey does anyone else hate those black pants that the Referees wear now that it has gotten cold?
And remember like we always say….
I got a little black book with my poems in.
Got a bag, got a toothbrush and a comb.
When Im a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone.
I got elastic bands keeping my shoes on.
Got those swollen hands blues.
Got thirteen channels of shit on the tv to choose from.
I got electric light,
And I got second sight.
Got amazing powers of observation.
And that is how I know,
When I try to get through,
On the telephone to you,
Therell be nobody home.
I got the obligatory hendrix perm,
And the inevitable pinhole burns,
All down the front of my favorite satin shirt.
I got nicotine stains on my fingers.
I got a silver spoon on a chain.
Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains.
Ive got wild, staring eyes.
And I got a strong urge to fly,
But I got nowhere to fly to (-- fly to... fly to... fly to...).
Ooooo babe,When I pick up the phone,
Theres still nobody home.
I got a pair of gohill boots,
And I got fading roots
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 10
Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 10 2008
Here we are week # 10. This week the NFL starts to add games to a new network. This is wonderful if you have Satellite, but not so great if you don’t. First though let’s talk about who is off this week, Cincinnati, Dallas, Tampa Bay and Washington. So with that out of the way we guess we can start. Expo can we to do this? Then kick it.
First let’s start on Thursday like the NFL did, in Cleveland of all places. Not sure why this game was at the top of the NFL network’s list, but it was. Who would have ever thought to match up a 4 – 4 team against a 3 – 5 team. Both teams under achieving and neither team going anywhere but next to the fireplace in January. Well this game if you can call it that did do one thing. It showed that Romeo Crennel really isn’t sure what he is doing. On a short week he changes quarterbacks at the behest of the fans. Well that didn’t stop the dropped passes or poor play on offense. It also didn’t start a winning streak.
Final Score the Broncos 34 the Browns 30. Well maybe the fans can get Bill Cowher next.
Well first on Sunday we will start at the bottom and how better to show you the bottom than to go to the Meadowlands in New Jersey. The New York Bretts have found their way in the NFL this year mostly due to the play of their all everything quarterback Brett Favre. He did everything you could want a quarterback to do; completing 14 of 19 passes for 167 yards and a touchdown. He even took an electric razor out of his pocket and sheered a sheep. He took the Ewes, pushed them down, and shaved the words BIRTH CANAL into that little soft patch of fur. Thanks Brett you finally did something for us.
Final Score the Ewes 3 the Bretts 47. Holy sheep dip… 50 points in the game, and you only scored 3?
Now we talk about the crappy game on CBS as we head to Houston and find the Texans again. In a game that Ike cancelled in week 2 the Ravens came to town very upset. They had to travel to Houston twice in the same season, but they played only once. They were so upset that they scored twice as many points than they are averaging. Joe “The Delaware Destroyer” Flacco is playing much better than Shane Falco ever could. Joe had 15 completions for 185 yards. We can only guess that that kind of stats makes him bad to the bone.
Final Score the Ravens 41 the Texans 13. Ba-ba-ba-Bad, Bad to the Bone.
Now we will move up to New England and check in on the game between the Patriots and the Buffalo Bills. For the first couple of weeks of the season the Bills played well, but now they are not. New England did just enough to win but not too much to be considered over exuberant. With first place on the line the Bills could not handle the pressure, and they folded like the lawn chair. This just proves our point that teams can’t travel across a state and Win.
Final Score the Bills 10 the Pats 20. Tisk tisk that was just terrible.
Up next we will talk about a little NFL history. For the first time ever the Jacksonville Jaguars played two 0 – 8 teams in back to back games. The Jags ended that streak with a 1 – 1 record. Now the team that went to the playoffs last year is in danger of being left out this year. What can we say about the Lions? They are slowly making the changes that need to be made. First they fired Matt Millen, then Jon Kitna got hurt, then they signed Daunte Culpepper only to watch him get hurt. Hey William Clay Ford, Sr. take a little friendly advice; quit moving the deck chairs on the Titanic and run it into the iceberg please. You guys have been nothing short of ridiculous for a long while.
Final Score the Jags 38 the Lions 14 These Lions are not the Kings of any jungle.
And now for the Crappy game on Fox, the Carolina Panthers went across country to play the Oakland Raiders. And in the Spirit of Christmas we give you: 10 first downs 9 punts, 7 completions, 6 interceptions, 5 FUM-BLES. 4 Penalties, 3 field goals, 2 Touchdowns and a Carolina Win in Oakland. It is way too early for Christmas Music on the radio…
Final Score the Panthers 17 the Raiders 6. Hey what happened to 8???
Up next we head to Atlanta to find the Flacons and the Saints in a real old school battle. Along time ago the S-Aints used to play games and lose. Well they have returned to that form again. We can hardly wait for Drew Brees’ kids to grow up and play in the NFL. Do you think that will happen, well if it does you can bet that the S-Aints still won’t have a Super Bowl win. Do you think Archie Manning wants his kids to play in New Orleans?
Final Score the S-Aints 20 the Falcons 34. There should be some child labor laws for that.
Now we will take about the game that decided if a Dolphin can beat a Shehawk. Seattle traveled to Miami for a little fun in the sun, but thanks to the Wildcat formation the fun in sun was just for the Dolphins. Once tough Tony Sparano formulated this amazing formation the Dolphins have been almost unstoppable… UnStoppable? Kind of like that old Car the Buick Wildcat. Well we aren’t so sure about that, we will ask just one question. If the Single wing is so great why did it ever go away? Well after four quarters we found the answer to our question, we guess a Dolphin can beat a Shehawk.
Final Score the Shehawks 19 the Dolphins 21. Does anyone remember the Buick Wildcat?
Well up next we find that Mr. Rogers neighborhood is very difficult to take on the road. There has to be a lot of stuff to pack, lots of Trolley tracks to put together once you get there. But the one thing they didn’t need was to get called for 2 safeties in the second quarter. Well if the truth were known the Officials made a mistake on the first one. But the Packers still had a chance to win and they would have had a better chance to win if they tackled Adrian Peterson. The next greatest running back in the History of the NFL, with 30 Rushes for 192 yards, hey what kind of production is that?
Final Score the Packers 27 the Viqueens 28. Viqueens Win Viqueens Win What the Hell?
And now we will talk about Da game. In Chicago Da Titans came to the midway to see the monsters, and keep their perfect record intact. The vaunted Tennessee running game was “Lost in Space”. Man that was a great show wasn’t it? Danger Will Robinson. You know what that Robot used to say??? And with Dr Smith and Will’s sister Penny, Angela Cartwright Hey Expo do you remember her? What? Oh yea the game. Well the Titans ran the ball 25 times for 20 yards that is .8 yards that is not very good so the Titans had to trust the Arm of Kerry Collins. Kerry Collins? Well 31 of 41 for 289 yards will just about do it for Da Titans.
Final Score the Titans 21 Da Bears 14. Da Titans Win Somehow that just doesn’t sound right?
Okay now we will head over to Pittsburg home of the Steelers and all things sleepy. Head Coach Mike Tomlin has unique team chemistry. It allows his team to put the opposing team sleep, kind of like the commercials that Peyton Manning are in. this Game came down to the Magic number 3. Pittsburg had 3 penalties, and Indy had two times as many, 6. Indy Scored 3 touchdowns, huh but huh Pittsburg only had 2… Huh that is not 3, but kicker Adam Vinatieri had 3 extra points. We guess that only other 3 was Big Ben Roethlisberger who had 3 interceptions. And the Colts win again. Now that sounds a little more right than Titans.
Final Score the Colts 24 the Steelers 20. This message was brought to you by the letters F and U.
In the day’s final game we find that one of the most unusual thing happened. The Chiefs were behind in the 4th quarter; no that was not the unusual thing, what is unusual is that they scored with 23 seconds not a field goal to get to with in 4, but a touchdown. Let us back up just a little for those who missed the final seconds. With 0:46 seconds San Diego commits a pass interference penalty to put the ball at their one 1 yard line. On the third play the Chiefs finally scored the touchdown and without any hesitation Head Coach Herm Edwards went for 2. Let us repeat that he went for a 2 point conversion to win the game? Why not, all the “experts” say great call; well we say NO this was the next to worse call of the week.
Final Score the Chiefs 19 the Chargers 20. How does Herm Edwards keep his job?
On the Sunday night game the WCNYFG went to Philadelphia to help the Phillies celebrate their World Series win, but found themselves in a tough NFC East Battle. Ellie had another stellar day going 17 out of 31 for a 191 yards and an interception. Well we guess that is okay because it was a win. For a Sunday night game it was a little boring, The WCNYFG held the ball for 39 minutes and had 26 first downs. So in the Last 16 regular season games the WCNYFG are 12 and 4, not bad…
Final Score the WCNYFG 36 the Beagles 31. So 5 and 4 gets the Beagles all the way to Last place.
And finally here we are on Monday Night. This game was supposed to be a walk in the park but leave it to the Cardinals to make it interesting. Okay this has got to be the worse year for clock management that we have ever seen. Let us just take you through the game that no one wanted to win. With 52 seconds on the clock the 49ers passed the ball and got to the 1 yard line. The play took about 8 seconds, so with 0:44 seconds on the clock 49er Head Coach Mike Singletary could not make a decision. After 24 seconds they finally snapped and spiked the ball, this left 20 seconds with the ball at the 1 yard line. Then on Second down Frank Gore gets pushed down for a loss of 2, and they spike the ball again and now there are 2 seconds on the clock and it is fourth down, but hold on there Sea Biscuit. The Officials had to review the play, giving the 49ers time to come up with one play. One play to possibly define a season. Possibly allow Head Coach Mike Singletary to define his style of coaching. So as the clock is running the ball is snapped and they hand off to a rookie on a Dive play off the guard for 1 yard. Very nice Dumb Ass. We have seen better clock management by homeless people in the park waiting for the soup kitchen to open.
Final Score the 49ers 24 the Cardinals 29. Defeat, snatched from the jaws of Victory. Oh My Lord.
Well we enjoyed this again this week we hope you do…
And remember like we always say…
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and Im out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin with a loser and the cruise control
Babys in reno with the vitamin d
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
Someone came in sayin Im insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Dont believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin all your food stamps and burnin down the trailer park
Yo. cut it.
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
Forces of evil on a bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
cuz ones got a weasel and the others got a flag
Ones on the pole, shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose-job
The daytime crap of the folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey-neck and its hangin from a pigeon wing
You cant write if you cant relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin on a termite
Thats chokin on the splinters
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(drive-by body-pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
Soooooooyy....
(Im a driver, Im a winner; things are gonna change I can feel it)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(I cant believe you)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(schprechen sie deutches, baby)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(know what Im sayin? )
Here we are week # 10. This week the NFL starts to add games to a new network. This is wonderful if you have Satellite, but not so great if you don’t. First though let’s talk about who is off this week, Cincinnati, Dallas, Tampa Bay and Washington. So with that out of the way we guess we can start. Expo can we to do this? Then kick it.
First let’s start on Thursday like the NFL did, in Cleveland of all places. Not sure why this game was at the top of the NFL network’s list, but it was. Who would have ever thought to match up a 4 – 4 team against a 3 – 5 team. Both teams under achieving and neither team going anywhere but next to the fireplace in January. Well this game if you can call it that did do one thing. It showed that Romeo Crennel really isn’t sure what he is doing. On a short week he changes quarterbacks at the behest of the fans. Well that didn’t stop the dropped passes or poor play on offense. It also didn’t start a winning streak.
Final Score the Broncos 34 the Browns 30. Well maybe the fans can get Bill Cowher next.
Well first on Sunday we will start at the bottom and how better to show you the bottom than to go to the Meadowlands in New Jersey. The New York Bretts have found their way in the NFL this year mostly due to the play of their all everything quarterback Brett Favre. He did everything you could want a quarterback to do; completing 14 of 19 passes for 167 yards and a touchdown. He even took an electric razor out of his pocket and sheered a sheep. He took the Ewes, pushed them down, and shaved the words BIRTH CANAL into that little soft patch of fur. Thanks Brett you finally did something for us.
Final Score the Ewes 3 the Bretts 47. Holy sheep dip… 50 points in the game, and you only scored 3?
Now we talk about the crappy game on CBS as we head to Houston and find the Texans again. In a game that Ike cancelled in week 2 the Ravens came to town very upset. They had to travel to Houston twice in the same season, but they played only once. They were so upset that they scored twice as many points than they are averaging. Joe “The Delaware Destroyer” Flacco is playing much better than Shane Falco ever could. Joe had 15 completions for 185 yards. We can only guess that that kind of stats makes him bad to the bone.
Final Score the Ravens 41 the Texans 13. Ba-ba-ba-Bad, Bad to the Bone.
Now we will move up to New England and check in on the game between the Patriots and the Buffalo Bills. For the first couple of weeks of the season the Bills played well, but now they are not. New England did just enough to win but not too much to be considered over exuberant. With first place on the line the Bills could not handle the pressure, and they folded like the lawn chair. This just proves our point that teams can’t travel across a state and Win.
Final Score the Bills 10 the Pats 20. Tisk tisk that was just terrible.
Up next we will talk about a little NFL history. For the first time ever the Jacksonville Jaguars played two 0 – 8 teams in back to back games. The Jags ended that streak with a 1 – 1 record. Now the team that went to the playoffs last year is in danger of being left out this year. What can we say about the Lions? They are slowly making the changes that need to be made. First they fired Matt Millen, then Jon Kitna got hurt, then they signed Daunte Culpepper only to watch him get hurt. Hey William Clay Ford, Sr. take a little friendly advice; quit moving the deck chairs on the Titanic and run it into the iceberg please. You guys have been nothing short of ridiculous for a long while.
Final Score the Jags 38 the Lions 14 These Lions are not the Kings of any jungle.
And now for the Crappy game on Fox, the Carolina Panthers went across country to play the Oakland Raiders. And in the Spirit of Christmas we give you: 10 first downs 9 punts, 7 completions, 6 interceptions, 5 FUM-BLES. 4 Penalties, 3 field goals, 2 Touchdowns and a Carolina Win in Oakland. It is way too early for Christmas Music on the radio…
Final Score the Panthers 17 the Raiders 6. Hey what happened to 8???
Up next we head to Atlanta to find the Flacons and the Saints in a real old school battle. Along time ago the S-Aints used to play games and lose. Well they have returned to that form again. We can hardly wait for Drew Brees’ kids to grow up and play in the NFL. Do you think that will happen, well if it does you can bet that the S-Aints still won’t have a Super Bowl win. Do you think Archie Manning wants his kids to play in New Orleans?
Final Score the S-Aints 20 the Falcons 34. There should be some child labor laws for that.
Now we will take about the game that decided if a Dolphin can beat a Shehawk. Seattle traveled to Miami for a little fun in the sun, but thanks to the Wildcat formation the fun in sun was just for the Dolphins. Once tough Tony Sparano formulated this amazing formation the Dolphins have been almost unstoppable… UnStoppable? Kind of like that old Car the Buick Wildcat. Well we aren’t so sure about that, we will ask just one question. If the Single wing is so great why did it ever go away? Well after four quarters we found the answer to our question, we guess a Dolphin can beat a Shehawk.
Final Score the Shehawks 19 the Dolphins 21. Does anyone remember the Buick Wildcat?
Well up next we find that Mr. Rogers neighborhood is very difficult to take on the road. There has to be a lot of stuff to pack, lots of Trolley tracks to put together once you get there. But the one thing they didn’t need was to get called for 2 safeties in the second quarter. Well if the truth were known the Officials made a mistake on the first one. But the Packers still had a chance to win and they would have had a better chance to win if they tackled Adrian Peterson. The next greatest running back in the History of the NFL, with 30 Rushes for 192 yards, hey what kind of production is that?
Final Score the Packers 27 the Viqueens 28. Viqueens Win Viqueens Win What the Hell?
And now we will talk about Da game. In Chicago Da Titans came to the midway to see the monsters, and keep their perfect record intact. The vaunted Tennessee running game was “Lost in Space”. Man that was a great show wasn’t it? Danger Will Robinson. You know what that Robot used to say??? And with Dr Smith and Will’s sister Penny, Angela Cartwright Hey Expo do you remember her? What? Oh yea the game. Well the Titans ran the ball 25 times for 20 yards that is .8 yards that is not very good so the Titans had to trust the Arm of Kerry Collins. Kerry Collins? Well 31 of 41 for 289 yards will just about do it for Da Titans.
Final Score the Titans 21 Da Bears 14. Da Titans Win Somehow that just doesn’t sound right?
Okay now we will head over to Pittsburg home of the Steelers and all things sleepy. Head Coach Mike Tomlin has unique team chemistry. It allows his team to put the opposing team sleep, kind of like the commercials that Peyton Manning are in. this Game came down to the Magic number 3. Pittsburg had 3 penalties, and Indy had two times as many, 6. Indy Scored 3 touchdowns, huh but huh Pittsburg only had 2… Huh that is not 3, but kicker Adam Vinatieri had 3 extra points. We guess that only other 3 was Big Ben Roethlisberger who had 3 interceptions. And the Colts win again. Now that sounds a little more right than Titans.
Final Score the Colts 24 the Steelers 20. This message was brought to you by the letters F and U.
In the day’s final game we find that one of the most unusual thing happened. The Chiefs were behind in the 4th quarter; no that was not the unusual thing, what is unusual is that they scored with 23 seconds not a field goal to get to with in 4, but a touchdown. Let us back up just a little for those who missed the final seconds. With 0:46 seconds San Diego commits a pass interference penalty to put the ball at their one 1 yard line. On the third play the Chiefs finally scored the touchdown and without any hesitation Head Coach Herm Edwards went for 2. Let us repeat that he went for a 2 point conversion to win the game? Why not, all the “experts” say great call; well we say NO this was the next to worse call of the week.
Final Score the Chiefs 19 the Chargers 20. How does Herm Edwards keep his job?
On the Sunday night game the WCNYFG went to Philadelphia to help the Phillies celebrate their World Series win, but found themselves in a tough NFC East Battle. Ellie had another stellar day going 17 out of 31 for a 191 yards and an interception. Well we guess that is okay because it was a win. For a Sunday night game it was a little boring, The WCNYFG held the ball for 39 minutes and had 26 first downs. So in the Last 16 regular season games the WCNYFG are 12 and 4, not bad…
Final Score the WCNYFG 36 the Beagles 31. So 5 and 4 gets the Beagles all the way to Last place.
And finally here we are on Monday Night. This game was supposed to be a walk in the park but leave it to the Cardinals to make it interesting. Okay this has got to be the worse year for clock management that we have ever seen. Let us just take you through the game that no one wanted to win. With 52 seconds on the clock the 49ers passed the ball and got to the 1 yard line. The play took about 8 seconds, so with 0:44 seconds on the clock 49er Head Coach Mike Singletary could not make a decision. After 24 seconds they finally snapped and spiked the ball, this left 20 seconds with the ball at the 1 yard line. Then on Second down Frank Gore gets pushed down for a loss of 2, and they spike the ball again and now there are 2 seconds on the clock and it is fourth down, but hold on there Sea Biscuit. The Officials had to review the play, giving the 49ers time to come up with one play. One play to possibly define a season. Possibly allow Head Coach Mike Singletary to define his style of coaching. So as the clock is running the ball is snapped and they hand off to a rookie on a Dive play off the guard for 1 yard. Very nice Dumb Ass. We have seen better clock management by homeless people in the park waiting for the soup kitchen to open.
Final Score the 49ers 24 the Cardinals 29. Defeat, snatched from the jaws of Victory. Oh My Lord.
Well we enjoyed this again this week we hope you do…
And remember like we always say…
In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
Butane in my veins and Im out to cut the junkie
With the plastic eyeballs, spray-paint the vegetables
Dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
Kill the headlights and put it in neutral
Stock car flamin with a loser and the cruise control
Babys in reno with the vitamin d
Got a couple of couches, sleep on the love-seat
Someone came in sayin Im insane to complain
About a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
Dont believe everything that you breathe
You get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
So shave your face with some mace in the dark
Savin all your food stamps and burnin down the trailer park
Yo. cut it.
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
Forces of evil on a bozo nightmare
Ban all the music with a phony gas chamber
cuz ones got a weasel and the others got a flag
Ones on the pole, shove the other in a bag
With the rerun shows and the cocaine nose-job
The daytime crap of the folksinger slob
He hung himself with a guitar string
A slab of turkey-neck and its hangin from a pigeon wing
You cant write if you cant relate
Trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
And my time is a piece of wax fallin on a termite
Thats chokin on the splinters
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheese whiz)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(drive-by body-pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
Soooooooyy....
(Im a driver, Im a winner; things are gonna change I can feel it)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(I cant believe you)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(schprechen sie deutches, baby)
Soy un perdedor
Im a loser baby, so why dont you kill me?
(know what Im sayin? )
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 9
Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 9 2008
Well we have finally reached the half way, but for some, like our youth, the halfway has pasted us by, well we have an awful big week to get to so let’s get this thing started. Expo are you ready? What? Oh yea… we forgot to tell you who was off this week. Okay so New Orleans, San Diego, San Francisco, and Carolina are all off. Alright, now you know, so are we ready? Okay you start the Music.
Up First let’s go to Oakland and take a look at what they did this weekend against the Falldowns of Atlanta. 3 first downs and 77 total yards of offense and 7 punts. Wow, we know one thing, when you have as many first downs as you do punts it is not going to be a good day. This Game reminds us of the movie Gone with the Wind except the South won. And the Raiders are not from the North but other than those mild subtleties not much else. Atlanta came, played a half, and left. Then neither team did anything in the 2nd half except watch the other just wonder aimlessly on and off the field with no real purpose, Kind of like people do in the those civil war reenactments. After the game Al Davis was asked if the changes he had made recently were helping or hindering his team. His response “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” Well thanks for being This Weeks Birth Canal Team, Oakland.
Final Score Atlanta 24 the Raiders 0. Zip zilch Noda. Nothing. Can we be any more plain?
Up Next we travel to the New Jersey Meadowlands home of all things WCNYFG. Well the Cowgirls came to New Jersey hoping to get out of there alive; they did, but only barely. In this Huge NFC East Battle the Cowgirls came with a game plan to see if they could play with the spare Brad Johnson at Quarterback and they couldn’t. Ellie did his best to keep the Cowgirls in the game by completing only16 passes for 147 yards, but 3 were for touchdowns so we guess that is good. So the WCNYFG stay in first place in the NFC East and the Cowgirls sink to last. Hey Tony Romo can you get Jessica to put a little “Magic Juice” on that broken pinkie of yours and see about getting back in the game?
Final Score the Cowgirls 14 the WCNYFG 35. What a disgrace…
Now we will talk about the “Crappy game on CBS” so welcome to Buffalo. Home of the Bills, and the fall. Speaking of falls does any one else think that the Buffalo Bills have gotten a barrel and are heading towards the bottom of Niagara Falls? As the Bills get in their barrel ready for the ride they must be thinking that they are the Reincarnation of Sam Patch “The Yankee Leapster” Brett Farve showed why he is still great for the game of Football by completing 19 passes for 200 yards with no touchdowns unless you count the interception he threw for a touchdown. Buffalo has both feet in the barrel and is ready to push away from the bank can anyone stop them now?
Final score The Bretts 26 the Bills 17. The Yankee Leapster? Look it up.
Next we will stay at the bottom and move to Cincinnati. The Bungels have been treated like a two dollar call girl for most of the season so far, but this week they stood up like the “Coward of the county” Well, Becky would be proud of her team this week as they scored and 3 times, hey that is the same number of Gatlin boys. And you could have heard a pin drop when Jacksonville picked up a fumbled kickoff and returned it for a touchdown, but the Bungels held on for the win. Marvin Lewis was heard after the game saying “Well we just geared up for our game last next week. We didn’t want that Bye week to sneak up on us.”
Final Score the Jags 19 the Bungels 21. Thanks for those words of wisdom…
Well let’s move the deck chairs on the Titanic as we talk about the Cleveland Browns game. Romeo, Romeo, Who art thou Quarterback Romeo? Huh Well we aren’t William Shakespeare, but it will have to do. Okay Let us see if we can catch you up on a few things. The Browns traded away their first round pick in the draft in the 2008 draft (Felix the Cat Jones) for Brady Quinn from Notre Dame, then sat him on the bench for more than year while Derek Anderson played, got them to 10 wins and nearly in the playoffs. Anderson then signed a new contract that locks him up for 3 years. Now fast forward to Sunday, with dropped passes and no running the Head Coach for the Cleveland Browns has chosen to Start Brady Quinn over Derek Anderson Trying to improve on the 3 and 5 record this season. All we can say to that is “Stupid is as stupid does”
Final Score the Ravens 37 the Browns 27. And you lead 27 to 20 in the fourth Quarter?
Well let’s go now to the Land of 10,000 lakes. How big does a body of water have to be to be a lake? In Minnesota, fans of the Viqueens look for two things in November. 1 their Moose hunting license 2, the Viqueens to wrinkle like a shirt made of 100% cotton. Well the next coming of Reggie Bush (Adrian Peterson) put on a show. With 25 rushes for 139 yards, a closer look shows us the he had a long of 40 yards making his true stats 24 for 99, still a fine effort. During the fourth quarter Gus “the Mule” Frerotte asked Head coach Brian Childress “Are you going to Scarborough Faire?” to which Brad said “ What the Hell are you talking about?” “Well the Sage Guy is in for the Texans so I thought…” Childress exclaimed “Shut up and go out there and throw the ball to Visanthe Shiancoe they will never be looking for that” And they weren’t.
Final Score the Texans 21 the Viqueens 28. How long is Moose Season?
Okay now let’s talk about Da Game. Da Bears had a major tussle on their hands with the Detroit Lions… Huh Expo? A Major Tussle? You know what a major tussle is right? To struggle roughly. And that is what you want to go with? A Major Tussle, It’s the Detroit Lions for gods Sake, Come on… They couldn’t Majorly Tussle their way out of an open paper sack. Good Lord Da Bears gave them 23 points in the second quarter and a halftime lead of 10. Then just when it looked like all hope was gone; with Kyle Orton out and Rex Grossman playing quarterback Da Bears mounted a comeback… What? Don’t tell you… Tell them? Oh sorry about that. Interesting fact about the Detroit Lions when they score more than their opponents they win.
Final Score The Lions 23 Da Bears 27. They haven’t scored more than any opponent yet.
Time to talk about the Buccan game now, with the time running out in the fourth quarter and the Chiefs up by 8 points Head Coach Herm Edwards made a drastic suggestion. “Let’s really fake them out by taking all of our offensive players off the field and see if they can score on that.” Well for the last 12 minutes of the game the Chiefs ran only 5 plays for huh 2 yards, not exactly an offensive juggernaut if you ask us. Jeff Garcia showed us why he is the Buccan Quarterback completing 31 of 48 passes for 339 yards. “See I told you I would win the game for you in get me the ball back” Garcia told head coach Jon Gruden. And Gruden said” Hell what happened last week?”
Final Score the Bucs 30 the Chiefs 27. Do we have to say? These are the Chiefs…
Well now well talk about the Crappy game on Fox. Who is putting these games on Television? Okay we hope we can keep our lunch down but here we go. The Arizona Cardinals traveled home of sorts to St Louis, their home for 50 or so years to play against the St Louis Rams who used to be in Los Angeles, Yes Los Angeles used to have a NFL team but the Rams quit playing there in 1988 and finally moved to St Louis in 1995. When asked about his teams chances of making the playoffs Cardinal Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt said” Well hell someone has to win our division and it looks like we could do that with a losing record.” and that looks like it could happen. For the first time since 1984 the Cardinals have a winning record after 8 games.
Final Score the Cards 34 the Ewes 13. These are the Cardinals, so watch out.
Up next we find that mister Rogers took his neighbor hood on the road for a fantastic game against the Tennessee Titans. The Green Bay Packers fought the good fight and found that they can play with most teams in the NFL. But you can’t win kicking field goals in this league and Aaron Rogers found that out. When the old toy Super Jock was introduced back in the 70’s, we think that Rod Bironas must have played with it. Do you remember it? Remember when you set up the plastic field and the goal post then set up the ball then hit the figure on top of the head as hard as you could to make him kick the ball through the up rights? Remember? Well Bironas must remember because he keeps kicking the ball like Super Jock.
Final Score the Packers 16 the Titans 19. This game went to over time as well.
Okay well here is the game from Denver. The Dolphins came to Denver looking to get to 500. Someplace they had not been in a while. But when they arrived they found a mannequin hanging in tree with a Dolphin uniform on. What? What? What Number? Oh it was Dolphins number 10. Yes number 10. Yea we know who that is; can we finish up the game? Big Tuna Cakes had the driver stop the bus and he got off. He pulled down the Mannequin and got back on the bus. Tell all the players “There will be no Hanging Chad’s in Colorado this year.”
Final Score the Dolphins 26 the Bronco’s 17. Yes Chad Pennington is #10…
Up next we head to the great Northwest home of the Space needle and all things northwest. We have said for a long time that teams can’t travel across country and win unless you are playing in Seattle. Well the Shehawks are certainly giving head coach Mike Holmgren a nice wedgie before he leaves the team. At the end of the year Coach Holmgren will leave thank God it is only 8 more weeks. Here again is the most telling stat. 10 first downs to 11 punts. Great right? No!!!
Final Score the Eagles 26 the Shehawks 7. Can the Eagles play a bird named team every week?
And Finally on Sunday we find the Sunday night game. This game took place between two teams the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots. This game should have been much better than it was. But in the fourth quarter when Adam Vinatieri kicked the game winning field goal we understand that his kicking coach was not Heather Mills.
Final Score the Pats 15 the Colts 18. Gosh that just sucked didn’t it?
And the last game of the week we had the Presidential game before the game. Tuesday Night was the real game, but on Monday The Redskins invited the Steelers over for a little game of what we like to call Football. After the Steelers Ben Roethlisberger went down we found that a Back up could play. Huh Imagine that a backup quarterback that can play? Well Byron Leftwich showed us that he can still play well. 7 for 10 for 129 yards, nice.
Final Score The Steelers 23 the Redskins 3. Hail to the Deadskins…
Well that is it for this week. We have to apologize for the lateness. It has been a long week for us. We enjoyed putting together and hope that you enjoy it as well.
We also want to send out some condolences to our extend family. We will miss Hogan and feel are saddened by his passing. Know that we are thinking of you in this time.
And remember like we always say…
Like a fool I went and stayed too long
Well we have finally reached the half way, but for some, like our youth, the halfway has pasted us by, well we have an awful big week to get to so let’s get this thing started. Expo are you ready? What? Oh yea… we forgot to tell you who was off this week. Okay so New Orleans, San Diego, San Francisco, and Carolina are all off. Alright, now you know, so are we ready? Okay you start the Music.
Up First let’s go to Oakland and take a look at what they did this weekend against the Falldowns of Atlanta. 3 first downs and 77 total yards of offense and 7 punts. Wow, we know one thing, when you have as many first downs as you do punts it is not going to be a good day. This Game reminds us of the movie Gone with the Wind except the South won. And the Raiders are not from the North but other than those mild subtleties not much else. Atlanta came, played a half, and left. Then neither team did anything in the 2nd half except watch the other just wonder aimlessly on and off the field with no real purpose, Kind of like people do in the those civil war reenactments. After the game Al Davis was asked if the changes he had made recently were helping or hindering his team. His response “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn” Well thanks for being This Weeks Birth Canal Team, Oakland.
Final Score Atlanta 24 the Raiders 0. Zip zilch Noda. Nothing. Can we be any more plain?
Up Next we travel to the New Jersey Meadowlands home of all things WCNYFG. Well the Cowgirls came to New Jersey hoping to get out of there alive; they did, but only barely. In this Huge NFC East Battle the Cowgirls came with a game plan to see if they could play with the spare Brad Johnson at Quarterback and they couldn’t. Ellie did his best to keep the Cowgirls in the game by completing only16 passes for 147 yards, but 3 were for touchdowns so we guess that is good. So the WCNYFG stay in first place in the NFC East and the Cowgirls sink to last. Hey Tony Romo can you get Jessica to put a little “Magic Juice” on that broken pinkie of yours and see about getting back in the game?
Final Score the Cowgirls 14 the WCNYFG 35. What a disgrace…
Now we will talk about the “Crappy game on CBS” so welcome to Buffalo. Home of the Bills, and the fall. Speaking of falls does any one else think that the Buffalo Bills have gotten a barrel and are heading towards the bottom of Niagara Falls? As the Bills get in their barrel ready for the ride they must be thinking that they are the Reincarnation of Sam Patch “The Yankee Leapster” Brett Farve showed why he is still great for the game of Football by completing 19 passes for 200 yards with no touchdowns unless you count the interception he threw for a touchdown. Buffalo has both feet in the barrel and is ready to push away from the bank can anyone stop them now?
Final score The Bretts 26 the Bills 17. The Yankee Leapster? Look it up.
Next we will stay at the bottom and move to Cincinnati. The Bungels have been treated like a two dollar call girl for most of the season so far, but this week they stood up like the “Coward of the county” Well, Becky would be proud of her team this week as they scored and 3 times, hey that is the same number of Gatlin boys. And you could have heard a pin drop when Jacksonville picked up a fumbled kickoff and returned it for a touchdown, but the Bungels held on for the win. Marvin Lewis was heard after the game saying “Well we just geared up for our game last next week. We didn’t want that Bye week to sneak up on us.”
Final Score the Jags 19 the Bungels 21. Thanks for those words of wisdom…
Well let’s move the deck chairs on the Titanic as we talk about the Cleveland Browns game. Romeo, Romeo, Who art thou Quarterback Romeo? Huh Well we aren’t William Shakespeare, but it will have to do. Okay Let us see if we can catch you up on a few things. The Browns traded away their first round pick in the draft in the 2008 draft (Felix the Cat Jones) for Brady Quinn from Notre Dame, then sat him on the bench for more than year while Derek Anderson played, got them to 10 wins and nearly in the playoffs. Anderson then signed a new contract that locks him up for 3 years. Now fast forward to Sunday, with dropped passes and no running the Head Coach for the Cleveland Browns has chosen to Start Brady Quinn over Derek Anderson Trying to improve on the 3 and 5 record this season. All we can say to that is “Stupid is as stupid does”
Final Score the Ravens 37 the Browns 27. And you lead 27 to 20 in the fourth Quarter?
Well let’s go now to the Land of 10,000 lakes. How big does a body of water have to be to be a lake? In Minnesota, fans of the Viqueens look for two things in November. 1 their Moose hunting license 2, the Viqueens to wrinkle like a shirt made of 100% cotton. Well the next coming of Reggie Bush (Adrian Peterson) put on a show. With 25 rushes for 139 yards, a closer look shows us the he had a long of 40 yards making his true stats 24 for 99, still a fine effort. During the fourth quarter Gus “the Mule” Frerotte asked Head coach Brian Childress “Are you going to Scarborough Faire?” to which Brad said “ What the Hell are you talking about?” “Well the Sage Guy is in for the Texans so I thought…” Childress exclaimed “Shut up and go out there and throw the ball to Visanthe Shiancoe they will never be looking for that” And they weren’t.
Final Score the Texans 21 the Viqueens 28. How long is Moose Season?
Okay now let’s talk about Da Game. Da Bears had a major tussle on their hands with the Detroit Lions… Huh Expo? A Major Tussle? You know what a major tussle is right? To struggle roughly. And that is what you want to go with? A Major Tussle, It’s the Detroit Lions for gods Sake, Come on… They couldn’t Majorly Tussle their way out of an open paper sack. Good Lord Da Bears gave them 23 points in the second quarter and a halftime lead of 10. Then just when it looked like all hope was gone; with Kyle Orton out and Rex Grossman playing quarterback Da Bears mounted a comeback… What? Don’t tell you… Tell them? Oh sorry about that. Interesting fact about the Detroit Lions when they score more than their opponents they win.
Final Score The Lions 23 Da Bears 27. They haven’t scored more than any opponent yet.
Time to talk about the Buccan game now, with the time running out in the fourth quarter and the Chiefs up by 8 points Head Coach Herm Edwards made a drastic suggestion. “Let’s really fake them out by taking all of our offensive players off the field and see if they can score on that.” Well for the last 12 minutes of the game the Chiefs ran only 5 plays for huh 2 yards, not exactly an offensive juggernaut if you ask us. Jeff Garcia showed us why he is the Buccan Quarterback completing 31 of 48 passes for 339 yards. “See I told you I would win the game for you in get me the ball back” Garcia told head coach Jon Gruden. And Gruden said” Hell what happened last week?”
Final Score the Bucs 30 the Chiefs 27. Do we have to say? These are the Chiefs…
Well now well talk about the Crappy game on Fox. Who is putting these games on Television? Okay we hope we can keep our lunch down but here we go. The Arizona Cardinals traveled home of sorts to St Louis, their home for 50 or so years to play against the St Louis Rams who used to be in Los Angeles, Yes Los Angeles used to have a NFL team but the Rams quit playing there in 1988 and finally moved to St Louis in 1995. When asked about his teams chances of making the playoffs Cardinal Head Coach Ken Whisenhunt said” Well hell someone has to win our division and it looks like we could do that with a losing record.” and that looks like it could happen. For the first time since 1984 the Cardinals have a winning record after 8 games.
Final Score the Cards 34 the Ewes 13. These are the Cardinals, so watch out.
Up next we find that mister Rogers took his neighbor hood on the road for a fantastic game against the Tennessee Titans. The Green Bay Packers fought the good fight and found that they can play with most teams in the NFL. But you can’t win kicking field goals in this league and Aaron Rogers found that out. When the old toy Super Jock was introduced back in the 70’s, we think that Rod Bironas must have played with it. Do you remember it? Remember when you set up the plastic field and the goal post then set up the ball then hit the figure on top of the head as hard as you could to make him kick the ball through the up rights? Remember? Well Bironas must remember because he keeps kicking the ball like Super Jock.
Final Score the Packers 16 the Titans 19. This game went to over time as well.
Okay well here is the game from Denver. The Dolphins came to Denver looking to get to 500. Someplace they had not been in a while. But when they arrived they found a mannequin hanging in tree with a Dolphin uniform on. What? What? What Number? Oh it was Dolphins number 10. Yes number 10. Yea we know who that is; can we finish up the game? Big Tuna Cakes had the driver stop the bus and he got off. He pulled down the Mannequin and got back on the bus. Tell all the players “There will be no Hanging Chad’s in Colorado this year.”
Final Score the Dolphins 26 the Bronco’s 17. Yes Chad Pennington is #10…
Up next we head to the great Northwest home of the Space needle and all things northwest. We have said for a long time that teams can’t travel across country and win unless you are playing in Seattle. Well the Shehawks are certainly giving head coach Mike Holmgren a nice wedgie before he leaves the team. At the end of the year Coach Holmgren will leave thank God it is only 8 more weeks. Here again is the most telling stat. 10 first downs to 11 punts. Great right? No!!!
Final Score the Eagles 26 the Shehawks 7. Can the Eagles play a bird named team every week?
And Finally on Sunday we find the Sunday night game. This game took place between two teams the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots. This game should have been much better than it was. But in the fourth quarter when Adam Vinatieri kicked the game winning field goal we understand that his kicking coach was not Heather Mills.
Final Score the Pats 15 the Colts 18. Gosh that just sucked didn’t it?
And the last game of the week we had the Presidential game before the game. Tuesday Night was the real game, but on Monday The Redskins invited the Steelers over for a little game of what we like to call Football. After the Steelers Ben Roethlisberger went down we found that a Back up could play. Huh Imagine that a backup quarterback that can play? Well Byron Leftwich showed us that he can still play well. 7 for 10 for 129 yards, nice.
Final Score The Steelers 23 the Redskins 3. Hail to the Deadskins…
Well that is it for this week. We have to apologize for the lateness. It has been a long week for us. We enjoyed putting together and hope that you enjoy it as well.
We also want to send out some condolences to our extend family. We will miss Hogan and feel are saddened by his passing. Know that we are thinking of you in this time.
And remember like we always say…
Like a fool I went and stayed too long
Now Im wondering if your loves still strong
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Then that time I went and said goodbye
Now Im back and not ashamed to cry
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Here I am baby
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby,
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed, delivered, Im yours)
Ive done alot of foolish things
That I really didnt mean
Hey, hey, yea, yea, didnt i, oh baby
Seen alot of things in this old world
When I touched them they did nothing, girl
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours, oh Im yours
Oo-wee babe you set my soul on fire
Thats why I know you are my only desire
Oo baby, here I am, signed, sealed delivered, Im yours
Here I am baby
Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby,Oh, youve got the future in your hand
(signed, sealed, delivered, Im yours)
Ive done alot of foolish things
That I really didnt mean
I could be a broken man but here I amWith your future,
got your future babe (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby, (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
Here I am baby, (here I am baby)
Here I am baby (signed, sealed delivered, Im yours)
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