Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Super Bowl
Well it was the most anticipated game since the last most anticipated game. Would the questions be answered? Would the defense hold up to the pressure? Would the Offense hold up to the defensive pressure? Would the ankle hold up? Would the commercials be any good? Would the Halftime show be any good? Would the Roller Coaster come to crashing end, or would it come to slow and steady stop just short? All these questions and more will be answered right after this message.
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Okay we are back. Please support our sponsors’ are you ready? Okay? Start the music.
Well we guess that we can only go to one place the Valley of the Sun,
Ari-freaking-Zona. The Temperature was as cold as the Lake Erie. And so were the players in first quarter. We mean who thought that the Coin Flip would not be special. It was “heads” we think but anyway the Giants won the toss and wanted the ball. Wow the first great decision made by Giants staff. After a kick off return the offense came out on the field and drove down the field like a mule plowing the field (16 plays and 63 yards Ellie was 5 for 7 for 38 yards) and stuck it right into the end zone for a the lead. Huh? They kicked a field goal? Oh yea that is what we were saying they kicked a field goals for the first points of the game. Then they gave the ball to the perfect Patriots and Darth Vader came out on the field. Being some 56 yards away from the Promised Land the Death Star proceeded to drive straight through the Giants defense. It went under the top lip and through the gap in Michael Strahan’s teeth and got to the promised land of the one yard line and the end of 1st quarter.
End of the First quarter Giants 3 Patriots 0 Wow 118 yards for both teams, We thought they would score more points than 3 in any quarter.
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As the second quarter started the Patriots scored on a one yard run and snatched the lead away that the Giants had held for just over 5 minutes. Darth Vader was 3 for 7 for 23 yards. Not good and the Empire needed a Pass Interference penalty in the end zone on third down and 10 from the Giants 17 to get to the one yard line. The Giants, who had taken a 3 point lead way back in the first quarter, now found themselves behind, down by four points ready to take the ensuing kickoff. After the kick return the Giants started at their own 40 as the Patriots made the mistake of kicking the ball out of bounds, very bad. Ellie, and the offense, drove down the field finding the holes in the Patriots defense, until Ellie finally showed the crowd why his name is Ellie. Ellie threw his first interception since, the last time he threw an interception; (excellently pointed out by Joe Buck the Fox Lead play by play man) the truth is funnier than fiction sometimes. The rest of the quarter ended as follows: punt, punt, punt, punt fumble, and end of the half. What excitement.
End of the second quarter Giants 3 the Empire 7. 98 yards, 7 points and 2 turnovers in the quarter not bad for one team, very bad for two in the Super Bowl. Damn it, when is this going to get started?
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Well it is on to the half time show. Since Janet, Justin and Boobgate the Superbowl has decided to remove some of the younger element from the show and go with a more tame show. A show that might be more about the age of the Superbowl than the age of the participants, 42 is 42 no matter how the spell with Roman Numerals and the 42 year old crowds are into Mr. Tom Petty. The show started out with “American Girl” then moved on to “I won’t back down”. The crowd started a sing- along and that was tremendous, when “Free-Fallin” started the crowd followed suite and fell down. But they didn’t move east to Ventura Boulevard. However the were “Running down a Dream” until it was over. We give the show an A-. We thought a Medley would have been nice, but who is going to be there next year Willie Nelson?
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Starting the 3rd quarter the Empire takes the ball and with a score they move out to a 14 to 3 lead, but alas after a 14 play drive the Empire begins to stall and they punt instead of kicking a 49 yard field goal. The Giants take the ball and drive 7 more plays and punt. The Empire takes the ball again and punts again. Watching the Third quarter was like going to proctologist, you know it is necessary but it sure isn’t fun, and when it’s over you feel very unsatisfied and slightly violated.
End of the third the Giants 3 the Empire 7. Man don’t you wish you had the square 7 and 3 on the Superbowl board?
Advertisement: Hello this is Tony Romo-Rific and don’t you wish you were me? I mean I am starting quarterback for the America’s team and I am dating Jessica Simpson. How cool is that? Well I just wanted to let you know that we are going to have another great season next year, because if we don’t I will never get to play the Chicken of the sea Game with Jess again.
In the fourth quarter the game finally started to live up to the hype, 3 touchdowns and only 2 punts. Over 250 yards in offense in the quarter, not bad. After the Giants take the lead the Empire takes the field and drove down the field to go ahead on a touchdown. Leading 14 to 10 with the less then 3 minutes to go the Giants take the field and we mention that “now is the time when Ellie throws his second interception and the Buccan game is over.” And low and behold the Patriots had their hands on the ball on three passes in the last drive but couldn’t come up with the play that would seal the victory, and the perfect season. Like sand slipping through their fingers so did the super bowl. Ellie came through, we didn’t think it would happen, but he did. And all we can say is congratulations. And a Manning has won the MVP of the Superbowl 2 years in a row. The Evil Empire got just what they deserved a loss. We sure do hope the Coach Bili-cheat gets what deserves as he leaves the field before the last play. What a classless act, he is like school on Saturday no Class. So lets all look to North further, okay now a little east, no not that far, right there the Birth Canal Team of the week is The New England Patriots. Like we have said before yu can’t travel across the country and win, and the Pats proved that again for us. Thanks..
Final Score the Giants 17 the Empire 14. They shook up the world. Ellie was heard saying “that it was just like shooting Womp rats in my T-16 back home”
Advertisement: Hello this is Darth Vader and we just lost the Super Bow. I want to apologize to all the fans of the Empire. It is probably my fault; I should have not gone to New York to see my super model girlfriend. I guess I should have been looking at more tape of the Giants, and have been better prepared. I have just one thing to say. Ellie, Peyton is your brother and Archie is your Father.
Well we guess that just about does it. Huh the Game is over, the perfect season has been smashed on the rocks of the Jersey shore, the Death Star has been disabled, and Tom Petty played a couple of songs. Nice. We hope that you have enjoyed this year. We know it was mundane at times and hopefully you found it funny or at least it made you smile. I want to thank you for reading and those who contributed; you know who you are; my editor and I want to thank my Mom and dad. Oh no wait my time is not up yet. I want to thank Roger Goodell, and all the teams of the NFL. One more thing, did anyone else find it funny that the game was played at the home Stadium of the Arizona Cardinals, and the Giants were the visiting team. Which means that the home team didn’t win in Arizona AGAIN, remember those aren’t the Cardinals but they played more like the Cardinals than the Patriots.
Advertisement: hey this is the Big Tuna Cakes and I want to tell you how great I am 58% of the time. We are topping off my staff and we think that we will make some noise next year, okay? What? Oh yea it’s your coaching staff Ed I know that, you think I don’t know that? I should fire you right now and name myself head coach, oh well maybe I just will, try reading my playbook again. Look for us next year…
And remember like we always say…..
I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakesI've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through
We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting -
till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers'
Cause we are the champions -
of the world -
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -
I thank you all -
But it's been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose -
We are the champions -
my friends
And we'll keep on fighting -
till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers'
Cause we are the champions -
of the world -
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
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