Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 14 2008
Well here we are in Week 14 and we are starting to see the playoff picture much better. It is still a muddy river flowing down stream, but at least we can see some of the teams floating on the top like the dead fish that they are. Let’s get started this week and see what happened. Hey Expo, let’s roll the funky music.
First up on Thursday we find ourselves in San Diego. Oakland really didn’t come prepared to play, scoring only on a kickoff return. They got plenty of practice as the Chargers came out of their scoring slump like the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. They run to the left and ran to the right then ran up the middle and scored touchdown after touchdown after field goal. Norv had to think that it was pretty sweet. Well the point total wasn’t huge, but it got the job done against the lowly Raiders. We Asked Huggy Bear Jr about the Cable guy. He said “Word on the street is Al Davis might be going to Satellite next year.” That is not good for the cable guy.
Final Score the Raiders 7 the Chargers 34. Indiana Jones couldn’t find the Raider of this lost Ark.
Up next we head to the windy city of Chicago and find that the Jaguars of Jacksonville had come to town. This season has been something that the Jaguars might have well just coughed up it. This is a huge hairball of a season for the Jaguars that they just can’t seem to get away from. We just hope that Coach Jack Del Rio doesn’t lose his head over this; he is a good guy having a bad year.
Final Score Jags 10 Da Bears 23. Good luck in the draft, Jags, it looks like you will be getting the 6th pick.
Up next we head to a game that just doesn’t seem real. The Viqueens headed into Detroit for a pivotal game with the Lions… a Pivotal game with the Lions? The Lions have not played a pivotal game since 1960 something. And if there was a pivotal game played this weekend it was not played in Detroit for sure. We only hope that the future in Detroit doesn’t hold a first round draft pick of a wide receiver again. Huh the Viqueens win again.
Final Score the Viqueens 16 the Lions 14. The Viqueens are going to win the NFC North?
Up Next we head to the Frozen Tundra of Green Bay Wisconsin. This week the Texans came calling to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. This was a shining example of Matt Schaub’s ability to play in a hostile environment. Well with just under 6 minutes to go the Packers scored to tie the game. Then with all the effort of a caveman buying insurance they could not even get a couple of first downs. Then the great Matt Schuab? The Great Matt Schuab, four words that should never be in a sentence together, drove his team for the game winning field goal.
Final Score the Texans 24 the Packers 21. Good luck Green Bay with that top 12 pick.
Well let’s get down to a game that meant absolutely nothing. The Bungels came to Indianapolis and lost, not much else to say. The Team was uninspired and had no effort what so ever. Even the Cheerleaders on sideline had a new cheer. “We’re not Detroit. We’re not Detroit” well you might not be Detroit but you are the Bungels and this weeks Birth Canal Team of the week.
Final Score the Bungels 3 the Colts 35. Wow Peyton is on fire.
Next we head down to the bottom or the world which just happens to be in New Orleans. The home team did their best to stay in the wild card hunt and decided to use REG-GIE Bush as a decoy. All the fans were confused when REG-GIE came out for the first half dressed like a duck. He was so inconspicuous that the Falldowns didn’t even see him when he caught a touchdown pass, or snuck around the end till he ran out of bounds some 43 yards down field. Nice play. His Production is up which can’t bode well for the Saints. 16 touches for 106 yards, at least you are over that golden mark of 100.
Final Score the Falldowns 25 the Saints 29. Dressed like duck where no one could see him?
Well let us get some introductions out of the way now. Earth these are the World Champion New York Football Giants, WCNYFG this is earth. With that out of the way let’s get to the game. Ellie had a wonderful game going 13 of 27 for 123 yards. Wow with production like that how can you do anything but lose. Well maybe they did better running the ball but 14 rushes for 88 yards doesn’t look good either. We guess the only thing we can say is “The Giants lose. The Giants lose.” Just give us our fun; we have only gotten to say that twice this year.
The Final Score was the Giants 14 the Beagles 20. Crap this means that the Beagles are still in the playoff hunt.
Up next we head to Tennessee to Remember the Titans. The Browns came to town looking to get out of the cold for a day, but found the fire instead. Ken Dorsey did everything he could to help Cleveland win, but he needed to suck way less than he did. And he sucked pretty badly. We wonder aloud to ourselves what coach Cower would look like on the sidelines in a Browns jacket? Final Score the Browns 9 the Titans 28. Christmas time is for wishes right?
With Buffalo losing 6 of their last 8 games they chose not to embarrass themselves in Buffalo this week, so they went on the road. Only they had already played the Dolphins in Miami. Buffalo thought that they might be able to hide from the Dolphins in Canada, but as Tony Sparano ran on to the field he was screaming “Not this week baby!” We thought hiding in Canada was a good idea we mean nobody would look in Canada for a football team. Then after kicking a field the Bills left looking for someplace else to hide.
Final Score the Dolphins 16 the Bills 3. Maybe the Bills could play in Japan?
Next we head to the great Northwest but there is not that much great about the Northwest this year. The Shehawks have been far less than stellar this season we can only guess that they must have dedicated this season to someone, huh maybe Coach Mike Holmgren? Well it looks like football is dead in Washington as a whole this year as the college teams won a total of 1 game and the pros have won only 2.
Final Score the Patriots 24 the Shehawks 21. Maybe they should all move to Oregon?
Next we head to Colorado to find the tough AFC West battle between the Chiefs and the Bronco’s. How long has it been since we had a tough AFC West Battle? Well keep counting because this was not it. Leading 17 to 7 in the Second Quarter the Chiefs head Coach Herm Edwards probably didn’t know that he was not going get the ball more than 4 more times. In those drives they ran 26 plays for 125 yards, nice don’t you think? And people wonder why the Chiefs can’t win? We don’t.
Final score the Chiefs 17 the Broncos 24. They can’t win because they suck.
Next we will talk about how the great New York Bretts traveled across the country and play a game against the 49ers. Everyone knows that you can’t travel across the country and win, unless you are playing in Seattle. But this is the great Brett Favre so let’s see how he did? 20 of 31 not bad, 3 sacks and an interception is not good. Well the Bretts have traveled to the West Coast 3 times this year and have not won yet. Amazing, they lost to the Chargers, the Raiders, and now the 49ers.
Final Score the Bretts 14 the 49ers 24. With just one of those a win they would be in first place by themselves.
In the same vain of a team that can’t travel across the country and win, we find the Ewes. And the Ewes can’t play a game and win. They traveled to Arizona and that should be enough for you to understand that they lost. Sometimes these games are closer than the score might indicate, this one was not. Cardinals Win Cardinals win. Our worst fears have come true.
Final Score the Ewes 10 the Cardinals 34. Rah Rah Yuck.
Finally on Sunday the day games came to close with this one. The Cowgirls visiting the Pittsburg Steelers. In typical Steelers fashion they lulled the Cowgirls to sleep then won the game in the final few seconds. Big Ben had his normal day 17 for 33 for 204 yards and 5 sacks. But Tony Romo showed us all why he was an undrafted free agent quarterback, by throwing 3 interceptions and fumbling once. Nice game, but take a little advise, when the temp is below 40 degrees, wear some sleeves, good god man that was just stupid.
Final score the Cowgirls 13 the Steelers 20. You know if things had worked out differently, the outcome might have changed.
On Sunday night there was a game that was played. But it was so poorly played that we don’t think it was even on TV. This is what we think happened. The Ravens got 2 quick scores in the first quarter and held a gun, to the Deadskins and forced them to punt for the rest of the game. Well maybe not the rest of the game but certainly 6 out of their last 9 possessions. Throw in a missed field goal, and that will just about do it.
Final Score the Deadskins 10 the Ravens 24. Wonder if that gun came from a former Giant?
On Monday we found the Buccan game as Tampa Bay went to visit their old nemesis the Carolina Panthers. Buccaneer Quarterback Jeff Garcia was heard singing before the game “Nothing would be finer than to be in Carolina in the Morning”. Head coach Jon Gruden told Garcia that he could stay if he liked but that the rest of the team was leaving after the game. Garcia thought for a moment then told his coach he would stay if the Buccaneers won. Gruden relied sure, get on the damn bus, you got sacked 5 times and we lost the game. Garcia Exclaimed “But coach But Coach look”. Head Coach Gruden slowly turned and in a soft, quiet voice with his teeth clenched said “The only Butt I want to see is yours on the Bus”.
Final Score the Bucs 23 the Panthers 34. And we don’t think Gruden was happy.
Well that is it for this week and we have just one more thing to say. It is with a heavy heart that we bid a heartfelt goodbye to a dear friend. It is not everyday that we can become friends with someone as special as Maisy. She will be missed and our hearts go out to your family who miss her so much.
And remember like we always say….
I need a sign to let me know you're here
All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere
I need to know that things are gonna look up
'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup
When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head
When you feel the world shake from the words that are said
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I won't give up if you dont give up
I need a sign to let me know you're here
'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear
I want a reason for the way things have to be
I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
When children have to play inside so they don't disappear
And private eyes solve marriage lies cause we don't talk for years
And football teams are kissing Queens
and losing sight of having dreams
In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
And I'm calling all angels
I'm calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Calling all you angels
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment