Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 13 2008
Well here we are again, as the Holiday’s approach we find ourselves looking to see who is being naughty and who is being nice. So being a fat guy with a beard we feel like we can help out with the naughty and nice stuff. Well we will get it going, so with a crack of the whip and hearty Hi Ho Silver away… Oh wait that wasn’t right was it? Okay… Well Expo kick it…
First up on Thanksgiving we find the great game between the Tennessee Titians and The Detroit Lions. Then the kickoff came and simultaneously as the game began the game was ended. There was nothing else to say except that this game was over at the 8:21 mark in the FIRST QUARTER. Good God Man we couldn’t even put marsh mellows on the candied yams without the damn Titians scoring. Hell Lions get it together, we mean come on dude you had to focus for four days and put up a fight. Wow we have seen better fights by women over a hand bag at the thrift store.
Final score the Titians 47 the Lions 10. The Titians were Naughty, and the Lions just suck.
Up next we finally are able to get our potatoes mashed and now we are working on the gravy, Oh, hey somebody check that dressing. Crap the Cowboys just scored again, Crap what is the score at half time? 24 – 6. Nothing to be thankful for in this game except that Romo has thrown to T.O. to shut him up for this week. Well Romo throws 3 touchdowns and Hasselbeck gets sacked 7 times. Not much else. Hey can you pass the green bean casserole?
Final Score the Shehawks 9 the Cowboys 34. Cowboys, naughty the Shehawks, terrible.
And finally the Thanksgiving game on the NFL Network that was billed as the fight of the bird. We had the fight of the bird at our house, as we tried to stay awake. We lost the fight and fell asleep; does any one know what happened in the game? Let us look. Oh hear it is, huh? How did this game go? Well let us look 2 plus 9 carry the 1, and the total is... The Cardinals lose again.
Final Score the Cardinals 20 the Eagles 48. Cardinals were nice and the Eagles just scored again.
Okay now it is time to talk about the crappy game on CBS, what does this tell you about the game? Punt, punt, Missed Field Goal, Punt, Fumble, oh another Punt, and an Interception. Let us just say these 8 possessions netted a total of 98 yards. Well that is what the home team did, how did the visitors do? Fumble. End of Half, Interception, missed field Goal, Punt, and Punt then End of game. This juggernaut of an offensive game plan netted the visitor a total of 151 yards. Nice, how did this get on TV? Well we have said it before and it looks like it holds true here, Peyton Manning is playing like his brother used to, 15 for 21 for 125 yards. Oh my how far is the fall from Grace? No offensive touchdowns and a Colt win huh?
Final Score the Colts 10 the Browns 6. Neither team was Naughty, but neither wanted to win either.
Next we go to Cincinnati and find the Bungels at home and inviting the Ravens over for a coke and a smile. At the end of the game when the Bungels had 11 punts and 6 first downs, Bungels Head Coach Marvin Lewis was found on the sidelines with his head in his hands. Just when it seemed that things couldn’t get any worse the gun used to signify the end of the game was given to Marvin Lewis to fire. As he put the gun to his head, no one was there to stop him. He pulled the trigger, but no bullet came out of the barrel, it was a flag. What does that say, BANG? Nope, it says you are the Birth Canal Team on the week. At least you win something.
Final Score the Ravens 34 the Bungels 3. The Ravens win and the Bungels just don’t.
Up next we go to the game to see if a Dolphin can beat a Ewe. Isn’t that cute, can a cuddly little lamb beat a snarling Dolphin. A Snarling Dolphin? Really? Expo? When have you ever seen a snarling Dolphin? You have got to be kidding us? A Snarling Dolphin? Are we to think that these Snarling Dolphins are Ill-tempered as well? Well it looks like the number of scores is tied with 4 the Ewes had four field goals but the Snarling Dolphins had three field goals and a touchdown. Snarling Dolphins right?
Final Score the Snarling Dolphins 16 the Cuddly Ewes 12. Rah Rah Yuck…
What the Hell is going on in Buffalo? This week we find the 49ers of all teams, coming to town and finding not much in the way of a game. For the first time in a long time a team from West Coast came to the East Coast played a 1PM game and won. What can we say about the Bills? Thank goodness they scored in the third as Rian Lindell finally made a field goal. But like giving a freezing, naked man ear muffs, it was too little too late. We have a question? What the Hell does J.P stand for in J.P Losman? We know, when J.P goes into a game for Buffalo it’s Just Plain a loss Man. With that said.
The final score was the 49ers 10 the Bills 3. Well no one was Naughty here.
Now we will turn our attention to the Packer game. The Packers played very nice only scoring to take the lead in the fourth quarter with under 2 minutes left. But then the Packers allowed a 45 yard kickoff return. And with one play (a 54 yard reception to Steve Smith) the Panthers are at the one yard line. The Packers allowed DeAngelo Williams to score again, his 4th touchdown of the day, what a nice gesture. Looks like Santa might have something for you.
Final Score the Panthers 35 the Packers 31. What is the best Mascot name starting with a P?
It’s time to talk about the REG-GIE Bush Return. With The Greatest Running Back in the History of the NFL finally back to play we will take a close look at the numbers. MR. REG-GIE had 3 rushes for 0 yards. If we take out the long of 8 yards it means that REG-GIE had 2 carries for -8 yards, Very nice. Looking at his receptions we find 5 catches for 32 yards with a long of 10, making his true stats 4 catches for 22 yards. Is that all? Nope he had 2 punt returns for -16 yards. Oh no… Okay so he touched the ball 10 times for 16 yards is that what you call production? We don’t think so but New Orleans might.
Final Score the S-Aints 20 the Buccaneers 23. The S-Aints will get a lump of something in their Stockings.
Now we will talk about the WCNYFG. This game was the tribute to Redskin fallen star Sean Taylor, as he was inducted into the Redskin Hall of Fame. So with family and friends gathered around for the opening kick the biggest question was how are the WCNYFG going to handle all the intensity that the Redskins are coming out with? After three possessions the redskins ran nine plays for 48 yards and three punts. After the first three possessions the WCNYFG ran 24 plays for 198 yards and scored 13 points. Wow now that is intensity isn’t it? Maybe they were just getting warmed up? We think not. The last four game they are averaging 10 points a game so we have to ask the question, Hey Jim Zorn are you guys the chiefs or what?
Final Score the WCNYFG 23 the Deadskins 7. Oxymoron? Redskins Hall of Fame.
And now we will talk about the Crappy game on Fox. Did anyone have higher expectations in the NFL than San Diego? Well nothing like being bashed in the head with a rock is there? For 7 of the 12 weeks the Chargers have been nothing short sorry. And with their dignity on their sleeve they headed out for the kick off. After taking the opening kick off and driving almost 45 yards they punted the ball. This is not what Norv had in mind when the season started. Thank god there are some leftovers in the fridge can we get a sandwich?
Final Score the Falcons 22 the Chargers 16. The Chargers were nice.
Up next we will head to New England and home to the first Thanksgiving feast we think. We are going to try to give you a little history lesson. The very first Thanksgiving was held in what is now Saint Augustine Florida? What the hell? And it was held on September 8 1565. Well that is not in November. And no Miles Standish? Or that Indian gal Poca-what ever her name was? And what about the Plymouth rock thing…. Huh the Boats? Damn you Wikipedia. And there is a Thanksgiving in Canada? What do they have to be thankful for? That they don’t live in Mexico?
Final score The Steelers 33 the Patriots 10. Next they will say that there was no Pumpkin pie.
Next up let’s go to Oakland and find the Chiefs. This is where we find the craziest play we have seen in a long time. Let’s imagine this. You bring in your best player, a kicker. Being best Polish kicker in the NFL is like being the best snow skier from Guatemala. Okay so you have your best player out on the field doing what he does best kick the ball. When the ball is snapped the kicker runs to the left and the holder snaps the ball between his legs to the kicker. What should have happened is that the Kicker should have caught the ball ran around the end and down the sidelines for an easy first down or a touchdown for Gods sakes? But what happened was the ball (When snapped the second time) just skidded on the ground until a defender got close then it jumped up into his arms has he ran to the promise land. Oh Man what a play, this was terrible.
Final Score the Chiefs 20 the Raiders 13. Now KC has more wins in Oakland than Oakland does?
Now the last game of the day the New York Bretts traveled across the country to face the fury that is the Denver Bronco’s. So straighten this out for us. The Brett’s beat the Patriots on a Thursday night to take over the lead in the AFC East and are on their way to the playoffs. They had 10 days to prepare for a team that was just 6 and 5. Well Brett had a wonderful game going 23 for 43 for 247 yards with an interception, nice day right?
Final Score the Bretts 17 the Bronco’s 34. Denver was naughty and the Bretts just lazy.
Now for the Sunday night game. A tough game from the NFC North was featuring Da Bears and the Viqueens. Oh my Da Bears had 11 completions, 10 first downs, 9 punts no running game, no passing game, and not much on special teams. The Great Adrian Peterson had 28 carries for 131 yards, with a long of 59 yards making his true stats 27 carries for 72 yards a wonderful 2.6 yards per carry. Pitiful is all we can say. So the Viqueens win again, Damn that has happened 7 times now.
Final Score Da Bears 14 the Viqueens 34. And this is the game NBC thought would be good?
Finally on Monday night ESPN decided to go to Houston of all places. Did anyone see those crazy red uniforms? We thought that a bunch of Heinz Ketchup bottles were out on the field. Every time we looked up the Texans were scoring again. Holy Cow what has happened to the Jaguars? Well Jack del Rio shouldn’t worry his job is safe as long as Herm Edwards has a job… The Jags have lost everything but their self respect.
Final Score the Jags 17 the Texans 30. And that can’t be too far away now.
Well that will do it for this Holiday Edition of the Stroll. We sure do hope that everyone has enjoyed this as much as we have putting it together.
And remember like we always say…
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
Where I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
'Til I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh
Do you, don't you want me to love you
I'm coming down fast, but I'm miles above you
Tell me, tell me tell me, c'mon tell me the answer
Well you may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.
Now Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, yeah ...
a-Will you, won't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me the answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.
Look out! Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, Helter Skelter, oooh...
Look out, 'cause here she come ...
When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide
And I stop and I turn and then I go for a ride
And I get to the bottom and I see you again, yeh, yeh yeh
Well do you, don't you want me to make you
I'm coming down fast, but don't let me break you
Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer Look out!
helter skelter, helter skelter, helter skelter
Look out! Helter Skelter ...
she coming down fast
yes she is
yes she is
coming down fast oh now helter skelter ...
woo hooo
I got blisters on my fingers!
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