Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 3

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard week 3 2008

Well we are still getting going this season but that doesn’t mean that we didn’t have anything happening. We had things happen that we thought would never happen, and we had nothing happen when we thought that it would. If you are ready and we can wake up Expo, then we can get started. Expo are you awake? Okay let’s get going shall we? Kick it!!!

Starting at the bottom we find ourselves in Foxboro. Foxboro? Yes Foxboro, home of Clam chowder, baked beans and all things Patriotic. This was a blow out of epic proportion as the Dolphins came to town. The Pats sent out the call to Paul Revere. Miami running back Ronnie Brown went to Coach Parcells and told him that he would volunteer to take over for Chad Pennington at Quarterback and run the option. New England, when seeing this formation, thought that they were Boston College and the Dolphins were Florida State. When Paul Revere returned from his ride he whispered into Bele-Cheats ear “Cassel to Bishop Four”, which also means “Hello Birth Canal team of the week welcome New England.
Final Score was Dolphins 38 Pats 18. 1 if by Land; 2 if by Sea; 4 if by Ronnie Brown?

Up next we will be stay out of Missouri for this week and head to Atlanta. This week the Juggernaut Kansas City Chiefs took their show on the road. They packed up and headed to Atlanta to face the Falldowns. Okay so on to the game. A juggernaut? Really, but a Juggernaut is “an Advancing force that crushes everything in its path”. But the only thing being crushed is hopes of the Papooses back in KC. Hey Atlanta try beating a professional team? So far you have beaten Detroit and Kansas City. Who is next on your schedule St Louis?
Finals Score KC 14 the Falldowns 38. Is it Papooses or Papice?

Up next we find a game with two teams that had a combined record of 0 – 4. So you know that one team is going to get a win. Too bad it had to be the Shehawks. But it is understandable as the Ewes came to town. In a battle of Futility this crappy game on Fox delivered goods or the bads. Do you really want to know what happened? We didn’t think so. We mean if we expected anything from this game it would have been not to step in it. Thanks for the Warning.
Final Score the Ewes 13 the Shehawks 38. Is 0 and 16 in your Future?

Okay well next let’s go to the team that is as close to the bottom as you can get, Cincinnati. This week the traveling circus that is the Bengals arrived in New Jersey for a game with the World Champion New York Football Giants. Well it looked like Ellie was Carrying his team as he went 26 for 43. Now those are nice numbers. 8 different Receivers that is great as well. At least he didn’t get sacked. The Bengals are the Bengals and that is the only thing we can say.
Final Score the Bengals 23 the WCNYFG 26. The Bengals still have as many wins as a dead man.

Next we go to Washington and find the Cardinals who are 2 wins ahead of last year. Well we have been telling you for a while that teams can’t travel across the country and win. So the Cardinals took this to heart as they decided to only score in the second and third quarters, were they watching? Question of the day; what is Punt, Fumble, Interception, Punt, Punt? Can you guess? That is right the drives from the first and fourth quarters. So when you need to prove to yourselves that you can compete during the game, you go out and do that. They had every chance in the world to win the game but someone called from the Coaches box upstairs and reminded them that they are the Cardinals.
Final Score the Cardinals 17 the Redskins 24. Wonder if Matt Leinart would have helped?

Sometimes when all the stars line up and two inferior teams meet it turns out to be a good game. Not in the case of Detroit coming to San Francisco. Detroit is scoring at 19.6 points per game and they are giving up 37.6 points a game. Not so sure of your math? Let us tell you, yes, that is giving up two scores for every one you score. Nice huh? Well the trend continues when Detroit scores more than their opponents they win, so far they haven’t. A fun little did you know? Did you know that the Zoo in Detroit doesn’t have any doors on cages? True, even the animals know not to walk the streets after dark in Detroit.
Finals score the Lions 13 the 49ers 31. Still need 10 wins to get to 10 Jon Kitna…

And now we turn our attention to this week’s Crappy game on CBS. The Epic Battle of the Cleveland Browns traveling to the Baltimore to battle against the team that left Cleveland and went to Baltimore. Sound confusing? Well it is. A little history lesson first. Baltimore had a team that the owner decided to move. So in the middle of the night they loaded their trailer and headed West. Well apparently they ran out of gas and had to stop in Indiana, and there was no football in Baltimore. Years later the Cleveland Browns Owner decided that he wanted a new stadium so he moved his team to Baltimore, but funny thing is that he was not allowed to take any records, so the team had to start from scratch. A few years later the NFL decided to build a stadium in Cleveland and found that they could put a team back there and they did, after several discussions the NFL allowed the team to be called the Browns to honor the franchise that was there before. Now saying all that, let’s get to the game.
Final Score the New Browns 10 the Old Browns new Ravens 38. What the hell was that?

Now we will talk about the team that left Baltimore and aren’t they glad. You know what? We are just thinking that some how Peyton and Ellie have changed places. Do you think that big daddy Archie took a little of Ellie’s Spit and rubbed it on Peyton’s Tongue? Because Peyton has been playing like he has a bad taste in his mouth. First it was his knee but now he spiting like he has just had a poop flavored smoothie. Okay so with 41 minutes and 35 seconds of offense the Jaguars needed every second of it. To kick the final field goal to win the game. Imagine holding the ball 2 minutes for every one minute of your opponents. Huh haven’t we heard that stat before?
Final Score Jags 23 the Colts 21. Yes the Colts used to be in the Baltimore.

Okay we can now go to Minnesota to see if they could get a win at home. This week Head Coach Brad Childress decided to go with starting Quarterback Gus “the Mule” Frerotte. Huh we thought he died two years ago? Maybe that is when he signed with Minnesota, not much difference we guess. Well Carolina took control of the game as they poured on the points to lead 10 to nothing with 9:55 left in the second quarter. After the kickoff, the Panthers started to pack up and head back home. They pulled down the easy ups, folded their chairs, packed up the truck and started getting ready for next week. With Carolina gaining 40 yards the rest of the game shows us one thing: Minnesota can win a game when the other team quits before half. Nice game John Fox who were you getting ready for? Atlanta? Kansas City? Oh that is who is on the schedule next?
Final Score the Panthers 10 the Viqueens 20. Huh doubled up again?

Okay let’s stroll on over the Windy City and see how Chicago won its game this week. Well the Buccan Game was played in Chicago and we find our favorite Mexican Canadian Jeff Garcia sitting on the bench. Wow when John Gruden wanted to get Brett Favre for his Buc’s because he felt that Jeff Garcia just wasn’t going to get them past the playoffs so he striped Garcia of his starting job and handed it to Brian Griese. To his credit Gruden put the game in his hands and he came through, finally making losers of Da Bears 2 weeks in a row. So we guess that the Da Bears will not win one and lose one. It looks like win one and lose two. Not good really… But hey that is one more win than a corpse and the states of Michigan, Missouri, and Ohio.
Final Score Tampa Bay 27 Da Bears 24. Hey you guys got more wins than Wyoming too.

We will shuffle off to Buffalo next and find a very exciting game. The Oakland Raiders traveled from Oakland if you can imagine that. Oakland came with the doubts of a coaching staff, an ownership, and a quarterback. Former LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell had a sterling day going 9 for 19. 9? 9 Completions is hardly note worthy except that it nearly beat the Bills. With 6 minutes to go the Raiders had a 23 to 14 lead when the offense became offensive. They were terrible, 3 plays for -2 yards and a punt. When all you need is a first down. Come on 2 rushes to the right and an incomplete pass to stop the clock? Well we can only guess that you might not get what you want, but you get what you need. And you needed to lose.
Final score the Raiders 23 the Bills 24. We can’t get no satisfaction.

Now we will talk about the sleeper game of the week. Did anyone see this game? We slept right through it. Houston is still in danger of not playing another game at home because of Hurricane Ike, but they are not playing on the road either. Of coarse they have not played on the road for a while. With Matt Schuab at the helm, what can the Texan ship do but sink? Let’s talk about Vince Young’s day. He had no incompletion on no attempts, but he did play with his etch-a-sketch and then built a fort with some Lincoln logs. All in all he had a great day. As the Titans win. This reminds us of the famous quote by famous French Mime Marcel Marceau. “ “.
Final Score Texans 12 the Titans 31. Kerry Collins? Really Kerry Collins?

Lets run back up to Philadelphia and find the Battle of Pennsylvania, this is a long fought battle that started sometime back in the 1700’s when Ben Franklin said something about Martha Washington’s hair. This caused George Washington to take out his wooden teeth and challenge Ben to a wrestling match. Good thing John Quincy Adams stepped in or the country might have turned out differently. On this years Battle it looked like Ben Roethlisberger said something about Donavan McNabb. Then an episode of Yo Momma broke out right there at the 50 yard line. But just when things were getting fun someone said something like “Yo Momma is so poor her face is on the front of the food stamp.” And all hell broke loose. It was a good thing as the game was not so interesting.
Final Score Steelers 6 the Eagles 10. 4 field goals, a touchdown and a safety. Yuck?

Okay finally in the last of the day games we find the New Orleans S-Aints traveled to Denver to play a game. Well they came they played and they lost. So let’s look at what the greatest Running back in the history of the NFL did. Reggie had 18 carries for 73 yards, with a long of 23 yards, and that makes the true stats 17 carries for 50 yards. He had a fumble that was returned 34 yards for a touchdown, that might come back to haunt them. Let’s look at receiving now, Reggie had 11 receptions for 73 with a long of 23 again, making his true stats 10 catches for 50 yards, but he failed on the 2 point conversion to tie the game and had a fumble after he caught the ball. Reggie also had 2 punt returns that netted 30 yards. We add that up to be 166 yards total and touched the ball 21 times. Better, but still no win.
Final score the S-Aints 32 the Bronco’s 34. how many touches does he need to get a win?

And finally on Sunday we find that the Dallas Cowboys went to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood for the Sunday night extravaganza. This was the game that never took place from last year. Mr. Rogers invited the Cowboys to the land of make believe as trolley took them thru the tunnel. After trading field goals Tony Romo showed why he is the starting Quarterback for the Cowboys has he continued to hand the ball off to Marion “the Barbarian” Barber and Felix “the Cat” Jones as they combined for 218 yards on 34 carries. Not bad. Green Bay didn‘t look bad they just didn’t look good. Not much else on this game but is that what we wanted last year?
Final Score the Cowboys 27 the Packers 16. The game wasn’t this close, and the Packers name still makes us giggle.

And Lastly on Monday we find that the New York Bretts have traveled across country to play the win less Chargers of San Diego. Let’s look at Brett’s stats, 30 of 42 for 271 yards not bad, but 2 interceptions and three sacks is. So the New York Bretts who were supposed to win 10 games this year are 1 and 2. So only 9 more wins to go. Norv Turner showed us that he can score like a sailor on leave. Not much else but we still see that you can’t travel across country and win, even if you are Brett Favre.
Final Score the Bretts 29 the Colts 48. Nice way to end the week we think.

Well that is it for this week. We hope that you enjoyed it as much as we did putting it together.
And remember like we always say…

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
and speak my point of view
But it's not sane, It's not sane
I just want someone to say to me oh, oh, oh, oh

I'll always be there when you wake yea, yea
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today, hey
So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain

And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away, but it's a great escape
escape......escape......escape......

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
ya don't like my point of view
ya think I'm insane
Its not sane......it's not sane.

I just want someone to say to me oh, oh, oh, oh
I'll always be there when you wake yea, yea
Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today, hey
So stay with me and I'll have it made

(I'll have it made
I'll have it made
You know we're really gonna, really gonna have it made
Gonna have it made
ahhh,ahhh, ahhh, ahhh)