Stroll Down NFL Boulevard 2008 Week 1

Stroll down the NFL Boulevard Week 1

Here we are again the start of another season all we have now is 17 more weeks and 256 games to go until the playoffs. But it is the journey that is most important, and the most important step in any journey is the first so let’s get it going. Okay does everyone remember Expo? He is our over zealous, sometimes pointing out the obvious notes for us, teammate. He is the one that picks the tunes and gets us going. So in the fine NFL Tradition and for the first time in a while… Hey Expo, Kick it!!!

First up we start at the home of the defending Superbowl champions, and the dead Jimmy Hoffa, the Meadowlands of New Jersey. The New York Football Giants welcomed the Washington Redskins for a special Thursday night game to start the season. There are lots of things that left handed people have done like become President like Harry Truman, or were great people like Joan of Arc, or HG Wells. Even Quarterbacks like Norman Esiason (Boomer) and Kenny Stabler but the one thing they didn’t do was win their head coaching debut. Sorry Jim Zorn. Ellie built on last years success by completing 19 passes for 216 yards Wow that is almost 5 completions a quarter. And neither team scored in the second half.
Final Score the Deadskins 7 NYFG 16. Is that really the start of the season? Really?

Up next as usual we find ourselves at the bottom, and the bottom this week is in Philadelphia. Well not exactly the Eagles but the St Louis Ewes. We can’t call you Rams just yet. Last year we cut you guys some slack because of injuries. This year? Not at all. With more punts than first downs, 10 punts 8 first downs, we find that Philly has shaved you until there is only a little soft patch of fur left. Hey Andy Reid thanks for not going Brazilian on them. Welcome to the Gateway city our fist Birth Canal Team of the week.
Final Score was The Ewes 3 Philly 38. Wow. Do you have to pay for that shaving?

We will move up and to the right just a bit and find Buffalo? Yes the Buffalo Bills invited the Seattle Shehawks to town. However the Shehawks must have thought that the game was in Canada as they didn’t show up until the second quarter, then played awful, and then left town with a bad taste in their mouth, a loss. The one stat that everyone should know is that both teams had a total of 20 punts. Wow a couple of Yawns and one good stretch from a Sunday nap.
Final Score was Shehawks 10 the Bills 34. Did we miss it? We just closed our eyes for a second.

Well let’s move to the right a little more and find Foxboro. So Tom Brady didn’t take a snap in the preseason, so let’s see how he did 7 for 11 for 76 yards, huh not too bad. No Sacks or interceptions, okay not bad. He looks like he played a couple of series not bad for his first preseason game. What? Expo we know it is not the preseason anymore that is what we call irony. Maybe if he played some in the preseason maybe he would not have gotten hurt? That is the point we are trying to make, just like Aug the 7th Matt Cassel ran out on to the Field and held the Patriots winning streak in the regular season, but it was Kansas City. And if you can’t beat Kansas City with your back up quarterback then who can you beat? Tough luck Tom you are out for the season. So we will be watching the Pats this year as they spiral out of playoff picture possibly?
Final Score was Kansas City 10 New England 17. Wow still no visitor with a win.

Now we will share with you a rivalry that goes back to the 70’s. Nothing like old school football The Steelers of Pittsburg host the Oilers of Houston. Wow Bum Phillips and Earl Campbell against Franco Harris and Terry Bradshaw. Doesn’t it bring back memories? Yes? Yes? No we didn’t think so. We know that to have a rivalry each team has to win a game and that is not the case when Pittsburg and Houston get together. Well the more things change…. The more they stay the same… Well we can say that Matt Schuab showed again why he couldn’t play in Atlanta because he didn’t play in Pittsburg. Hey 25 of 33 is better than some this week? You think anyone in New Jersey would like to see 25 completions in one week?
Final Score was Texans 17 Steelers 38. Ho Hum, huh???? Okay it is over.

Advertisement: Hello this is Brian Billick and I just wanted to let everyone know I am taking my new job as serious as I did my old job. You see I coached really hard to get to 3 and 13 last year. I hope you enjoyed my commentary on the Tampa and New Orleans game look for me next week on the Sucky game of the week on Fox. Maybe I’ll be in Seattle.

Next we should go to the ravaged area know as New Orleans for this weeks Sucky game of the week on Fox. Gustav forced everyone in New Orleans to leave last week then return this weekend and now this is what we have to look forward to. We can only guess that the citizens of New Orleans will never unpack and every time the wind gets high they will head for high ground, but we guess almost any ground is higher than New Orleans. So let’s look at the game. The Greatest Running back in the history of the NFL gained 51 yards on 14 carries with a long of 26, the true stats being 13 carries for 25 yards. Hey that is almost 2 yards a carry. He also had 8 catches for 112 yards, with a long of 42 yards not that bad, but your true stats are 7 catches for 70 yards. But we have to say that was not a touchdown, but the official gave it to you so we will count it as well.
Final Score was Tampa Bay 20 New Orleans 24. Still no road wins…

Now we will talk about this week’s Sucky game on CBS, Cincinnati going to Baltimore. The best thing about Baltimore is not having to live there, or work there, basically never having to go there would be the best. And we can’t think of anything good about Cincinnati. So here we go… Carson Palmer had an Ellie Manning kind of day with a 10 of 25 for 99 yards, with 1 interception. Joe Flacco showed why Baltimore drafted him as he completed 15 of 29 passes for 129 yards. Did we mention that this was the Sucky game on CBS; the networks didn’t even have highlights of the game. Good thing we didn’t see this game Bad thing we had to tell you about it.
Final Score was Cincinnati 10 Baltimore 17. Expo can you get us some Pepto-Bismol?

As we stroll to Atlanta we find that the Detroit Lions are still, well, the Lions after finishing off last season with 1 win in the last 8 games. They started this season just where they finished last year, losing. Not only were they the visiting team but well they are from Detroit, so enough said. Michael Turner and Matt Ryan made their debut with the Atlanta Falldowns. Huh we mean Falcons. 220 yards for Turner is wonderful, and Ryan 9 of 13, not great, but with a running game like that you don’t need much passing.
Final Score was Lions 21 the Falcons 34. Still no road warrior winner…

Up next we stroll north and left to Tennessee for a little AFC South match up. The Jacksonville Jaguars came to Tennessee with the hope of a new season but the Titans were looking for the upset. With Vince Young going down to injury it didn’t look good for the Titans. But it was the Jaguars who folded like a cheap tarp. David Garrard did his best impersonation of like Gil Gerard or David Carr, going 23 for 35 with 7 sacks. Quite honestly we have seen better moves from a statue. Well this game should have been played on the Thanksgiving as most people, even those in attendance fell asleep. Crap it looked like a soccer game suddenly broke out.
Final score was Jacksonville 10 Titans 17. Another home team wins.

And now for something completely different The New York Bretts packed up and headed to Miami to take on the new coach Bill Parcells. This tough, hard hitting, AFC East game was more anticipated than Christmas morning by 5 year olds. So let’s look at what CBS called their number one game, as they sent Phil Sims and Jim Nance to cover the match up of Brett Farve against Chad Pennington. A funny thing happened. The New York Bretts won a game, and the Miami Doll-pins lost one. All summer long we have heard about things changing in Miami, well they could still win 2 games this season, which would double last years total. Let us take a look at Farve’s numbers 15 of 22 for 194 yards with a long of 56 for a touchdown then flung up a punt on fourth down and 13 when he should not have been on the field, so if that prayer is not answered he loses another 22 yards and that makes his true stats 13 receptions for 116 yards. Very Super Bowl MVP like wouldn’t you say?
Final score was New York Bretts 20 Miami 14. Hey Bill why didn’t you sign Chris Sims?

Let’s go all the way across country and find the San Diego Chargers taking on the Carolina Panthers. Now we have told you that teams can’t travel across the country and win. But Jake Delhomme wasn’t told about that stat. And let us just say that this game is 60 minutes long not 57:33. Charger Coach Nov Turner scored then smoked a cigarette turned over and took a nap. But that Panthers drove down the field like a hot knife thru butter and scored with no time on the clock. Leaving the crowd stunned and feeling violated. So the Panthers scored, kicked the extra point, went to the locker room took a shower, put on their clothes and left a twenty dollar bill on the sink and snuck out the back of the stadium.
Final score was the Panthers 26 the Chargers 24. Hey a road team wins!

Up next we will stay on the West coast sort of. We will stay in Ari-Freaking-Zona. The San Francisco 49ers came to town hoping to get a win. And everyone knows what happens when you hope in one hand and huh… humm… Well in the other hand you huh? Well you see you sit on the, huh… Well let’s just say that everyone knows what happens. So let’s talk about the game a little, Matt Leinart had a great game lets just look at the stats he was huh well with no attempts he had no completions. Huh, well, he made no mistakes we guess, except for signing with the Cardinals. Cardinals Win Cardinals Win, it just doesn’t sound right does it?
Final Score the Cardinals 23 the 49ers 13. Wow another road win will the madness end?

We go next to Cleveland. We know Expo, but we have to go there 8 times a year, so let’s get on with it. Cleveland ended last season just out of the playoff picture. But this year they have highest of expectations, so high that they invited the Cowboys over for an opening weekend game. They treated the Cowboys to so wide open field not much coverage as Tony was Romo-rific. Romo lead the Boys to 487 yards of offense, and 30 first downs nice, Cleveland looks more and more like the mistake by the lake.
Final Score the Cowboys 28 the Browns 10. Oh no not again.

And finally on Sunday we find the christianing of the new stadium in Indianapolis. In a rematch of the Superbowl from a couple of years ago we find the Chicago Bears lumbering to town looking for revenge. And you know what they say Revenge, it is best served cold, like that cold soup from Russia. Well since this was the Sunday night game and Peyton Manning is a genius, we were reminded of the Joe Theisman quote “The word “Genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is someone like Norman Einstein” What? We can only guess that is why he is out of a job. Okay well Da Bears got their revenge, but we bet they wished they had started Kyle Horton in the Superbowl instead.
Final score Da Bear 29 the Colts 13. Ditka would be proud.

On Monday we had two matchups on this crazy first week. We will start in Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. After the whole off season and the Brett Favre issues the Packers, that name is so funny to us, stayed the course and chose Aaron Rogers to lead their team to the Promised Land. The Viqueens came to town knowing that they would not be the greatest pressure on Mr. Rogers that Brett Farve would be. And they just hoped that they could sneak in and steal a win like the last 5 games. But alas these are the Viqueens and even the great Adrian Peterson could not garner a win. Let’s look at Mr. Rogers Stats 18 of 22 for 178 and a touchdown. Not bad following Brett Farve.
Final score was Viqueens 19 the Packers 24. It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

And finally we get to get right back to the bottom where we started. Only this time the bottom is Oakland. The Bronco’s came to town out to prove a point. The point their Diabetic Quarterback Jay Cutler was better than the Raider old owner Al Davis. Cutler threw for 299 on 16 of 24. That means that he completed 2 out of every 3 passes not bad for someone with low blood sugar. If this is a rivalry game Oakland needs to win one every now and then.
Final score the Bronco’s 41 the Raiders 14. We think it was the Raider that got raided.


Well that will about do it for this week. Remember it is early. So we hope every one enjoys this as much as we did putting it together….

And remember like we always say…..



I've just closed my eyes again
climbed up on the dreamweaver train
tryin' to take away my worries of today
and leave tomorrow behind

Ooo Dreamweaver, I beleive you can get me through the night
Ooo Dreamweaver, I beleive we canreach the morning light

Fly me high through the stary skies
and maybe to an astral plane
Cross the highways of fantasy
Help me forget today’s pain

Ooo Dreamweaver, I beleive you can get me through the night
Ooo Dreamweaver, I beleive we can reach the morning light

tho the dawn may be coming soon
there still may be some time
fly me away to the bright side of the moon
and meet me on the other side

Ooo Dreamweaver, I beleive you can get me through the night
Ooo Dreamweaver, I beleive we canreach the morning light
Dreamweaver... Dreamweaver....